Ravens! Titans! Dierdorf! Gumbel! Defense! Power running! Two teams stolen from other cities! Neither of which you like! So why are we live-blogging it? Because you don’t want to be sober all day, do you? Play a drinking game if you must:

  • Ed Reed gets called a “ballhawk” – drink
  • Kerry Collins “gritty veteran” – drink
  • Christmas Ape shows up in the chat solely to root against Baltimore – drink
  • Joe Flacco throws it to someone besides Derrick Mason – drink
  • Announcer makes reference to Ray Lewis’s legal problems WITHOUT mentioning his faith in God – Start setting shit on fire, because the world is ending
  • Collins completes more passes to wide receivers than tight ends or running backs – world is ending
  • Announcing team provides insightful, witty, even slightly humorous commentary - world is ending
  • Meteor hits stadium, filling our atmosphere with debris and blotting out the sun – do a shot