Counterpoint: DIDJA SEE FAST WILLIE RUN FOR ALL THEM YARDS? CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP
The Steelers were the only home team not to epically choke or shit the bed this weekend, so by default this makes them the team to beat in the NFL for at least the next week. And with team-to-beat status comes team-to-hate status. So inveterate Steelers haters are out in force and regular casual haters are drawn to them like a moth to flame. So be it. I won’t try to tell you otherwise. In fact, I’ll even throw you a bone with a bunch of pictures that are ripe for ridiculing. Like the above photo of Michael Rapaport me with Steely McGayHorribleMascot. He even gave me a half-eaten Primanti’s sandwich after burning my scrotum with his manly stubble.
Share for a moment, commoner, how a man of considerable means and influence watches NFL football live. The very idea of my life’s extravagances must seem almost comical to you. Why, just the other day, I threw out half a bottle of Yellow Tail Reserve. Only a privileged few can dream of such profligacy. But, yes, even from a remote, frigid vantage point, I can’t say I didn’t enjoy the game. I will always treasure my memory of watching Philip Rivers get DDTed from a quarter mile away. I was 80 percent sure he wasn’t Jacob Hester!
THE LEGENDARY STILLERS NATION WITH ODDLY FOND MEMORIES OF MERRIL HOGE! Jesus, you’re docked points already for not immediately trying to disassociate that fucktaster from the team. But then you get a customized version of the Steelers current uniforms to ascribe his name? THE ANACHRONISM MAKES IT WORSE!
Speaking of customized atrocities, “MILLERLITE” with number 69 is probably the worst I’ve ever seen, and someone else at the stadium had one that said “IRONCITY” on the back. Apparently the Steelers signed every shitty beer to roster spots and I was not made aware.
I see what you did there.
See, you think I’m trying to poke fun at the Chargers fans here, but I actually kind of dig the lucha libre get-up. In fact, I would only level a gun at them out of a sense of duty, but make sure to nail the Steelers fan IN THE FUCKING TOMMY MADDOX JERSEY BEHIND THEM! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE! USE THE HURRICANRANA, GUYS!
Tags: for every ufford hate post there is an equal and opposite reaction, Homerism, my dick froze off so technically i can't be gay, woodley and harrison not pleased with the farrior jersey, xmas ape
January 12th, 2009 at 8:11 am
I think that guy on the right has a Ricochet mask on.
January 12th, 2009 at 8:23 am
The Chargers fan in the middle can’t really be a Chargers fan because there is no mouth hole in his head/face piece allowing him to fellate LT’s toe.
January 12th, 2009 at 8:38 am
I’m wearing my Harrison jersey to work today and all the Giants fans are flipping me off as they walk past the office… I just laugh and laugh in response…
January 12th, 2009 at 8:43 am
So…has everyone exhausted their vitriol from this weekend?
http://xkcd.com/386/
January 12th, 2009 at 8:43 am
Looks like the tailgating and drinking were out in full force. Ape – were you shitfaced?
Also looks like I’d need to pack on another 45 lbs in order to gain bandwagon admittance to Stiller Nation.
January 12th, 2009 at 8:50 am
IIRC, there were also Steeler dorks in Luchadore maks that showed up in the CBS video of the game.
January 12th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Ape just wanted to be an engineer!!
January 12th, 2009 at 8:57 am
Hey, call him by his full name. Reigning XFL MVP Tommy Maddox.
January 12th, 2009 at 8:57 am
Can you guys STOP POSTING PICTURES OF YOURSELVES!
I’d like to remember you as Gods and not of the kids who used to get beat up by the girls basketball team at lunch.
January 12th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Who knew Ray Mysterio jr was a Bolts fan.
January 12th, 2009 at 9:06 am
Yeah, if you’re going to get your picture taken with Steely McBeam, you might as well try to look like a hardass.
January 12th, 2009 at 9:10 am
What exactly is a “Game Face’ and how much do they go for in Picksburgh?
January 12th, 2009 at 9:12 am
Ape, What the hell is that in your hand? Sure doesn’t look like an Official Myron Cope Terrible Towel (TM). Looks like you stole the hand towel outta grandma’s bathroom. Dude.
P.S. Grow a beard, will ya’?
January 12th, 2009 at 9:12 am
I don’t like being outdoors Ape, for one thing, there’s too many fat children.
January 12th, 2009 at 9:15 am
It was a rolling German Suplex, not a DDT. Criminy.
January 12th, 2009 at 9:15 am
No alternate third jersey? pussy
January 12th, 2009 at 9:19 am
That’s because the towel is facing backwards. I mean, how can you spring for a fake towel? They cost at most $10.
You’d look paunchy too if you were wearing six layers. The gay, however, that I can’t explain away.
January 12th, 2009 at 9:21 am
Jesus. Why is Steely McBeam the spitting image of Eugene Levy?
January 12th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Someone needs to shoot the masked Charger fan in the Merriman jersey too.
I think the Steelers have been the team to beat for some time, the second half yesterday was real reminiscent of the second half NE beatdown – fucking awesome D, and ball control.
Fuck you in advance to anyone who labels me a Stillers homer – I’m a lower life form, Pats fan – I just love Pittsburgh’s D and think it will take them all the way.
January 12th, 2009 at 9:39 am
Ape, one word — SALAD!
January 12th, 2009 at 9:45 am
When did the Steelers hire a gay little sidekick for Steely McBeam?
January 12th, 2009 at 9:53 am
What a limp way to hold that towel, Ape! That towel isn’t terrible. It just isn’t terrible at all.
January 12th, 2009 at 9:59 am
The hell does “Faik” mean?
January 12th, 2009 at 10:06 am
I just love Pittsburgh’s D and think it will take them all the way.
..especially if their offense plays anything close to the way it played yesterday.
January 12th, 2009 at 10:12 am
@ Slothrop–”Game faces” are those temp tattoos/air brush paint that are fake eye black or Steelers symbols. Only kids and girls buy them. Couldn’t tell you how much they cost.
January 12th, 2009 at 10:12 am
So Ape, how is that Terrible Towel sweater coming for Jean Grey?
January 12th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Six layers doesn’t explain the double chin there Ape. It’s called Nutrisystem. If Berman can lose 40 pounds, anyone can lose some extra weight.
And I hate your team more than ever now and will be cheering for the Cardinals to win it all since I don’t give a shit about them either way. Even if they injured my QB…and punter…and began the downward spiral that ruined my season…
Wait…FUCK THE NFL…IT IS DEAD TO ME UNTIL SEPTEMBER 2009.
January 12th, 2009 at 10:29 am
That steel worker might want to get checked out for jaundice, his skin is awfully yellow
January 12th, 2009 at 10:30 am
What I am about to ask might seem unimportant, but it totally isn’t: Is that beam attached to his hand? Or does he just carry it around all the time? Because it seems like it would be annoying as fuck to have to hold that thing for several hours on end.
January 12th, 2009 at 10:33 am
@pemulis, he works hard, he plays hard.
January 12th, 2009 at 10:37 am
@pemulis: that’s his cock.
January 12th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Jesus Fuck Christ, Swing4, Steely McBeam IS Eugene Levy!
And the Stillers are just fine with me… I am a hate monogamist, and in that endeavor, I only have room for the Green Bay Packers.
January 12th, 2009 at 10:45 am
hot stuff, comin’ through!
January 12th, 2009 at 11:02 am
That was relatively mild and restrained by KSK homerism standards.
January 12th, 2009 at 11:05 am
Tough loss the tipped pass for pick in the 3rd was the back breaker… I would’ve liked to see what replay the officials were watching since I didn’t see any hands under the ball until he rolled over.
January 12th, 2009 at 11:22 am
“Profligacy”, the Michael Tunison Word of the Week (MTWOTW)!!!!
January 12th, 2009 at 11:27 am
I’m continuing to look at these pictures for anyone in the stadium with a skin tone darker than “pasty”.
January 12th, 2009 at 11:36 am
@Fitz,
I think I can see Willie Parker, if that helps.
January 12th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
One of my friends told me that upon Tommy’s injury that led to Ben’s reign of terror beginning, the guy he was watching it with immediately deadpans “Tommy ‘call the para’ Maddox”. Then I found five dollars.
January 12th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
I’m claiming credit on the Rappaport resemblance, for this site at least.
January 12th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
STEELY McBEAM IS COMING THROUGH THE PORES OF HIS SKIN!
January 12th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
@Slideshow Bob: Who else would he be a fan of? Booyaka booyaka, 619!
January 12th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Ape, you’re making the parrot jealous, you two-timing son of a bitch.
January 12th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
I love how the I-beam he’s carrying is essentially plush, like a teddy bear. I know he can’t carry a real I-beam, because those are probably pretty heavy, but you’d think that, being in a steel town, they could fashion some sort of implement made out of, you know, metal. The plush I-beam makes him seem kinda, well, girly.
Also, that doesn’t look like a sellout crowd. It’d be nice if, in a show of gratitude to the fans who actually showed up to freeze their asses off, they’d let everyone move down to the less-cheap seats or something. I know I’m talking about an NFL team, and fucking over the fans is a grand NFL tradition, but still…
January 12th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
@Fitz, Let me know if you find anyone whose diet is healthier than pastry too.
January 12th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
That’s a lot of cum towels.
January 12th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
That guy must be Merrill Hoge’s nephew or something.
At least no one was wearing a Bubby Brister jersey. My faith in the humanity of ye olde hometowne has been partially restored.
January 12th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
I’m willing to vouch for the fact that Ape’s bones are far more jump-worthy than that picture would suggest.
January 12th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
@Slash
Hahahahaha yeah it was a sellout crowd. By the light out it looks like 3:30 or 4:00 when that pic was taken.
January 12th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Ah, the shit-talking has begun in earnest!
Ape was about 3 layers shy of the level necessary to ensure game-long comfort. But enough Killians’ll keep any man warm.
January 12th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Jesus Christ Ape. I don’t begrudge you your Steelers fandom, or the fact that you’re a blatant homer. Shit, who isn’t?
But that pic of you with that… mascot thing is just retarded. Seriously man, have some fucking dignity.
January 12th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Lighten up, Francis. I took it for the site so people could rip me. I, like all Steelers fans, fucking hate Steely.
January 12th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
What in the name of god is up with the Charger fan in the poncho and the Bondage mask? It looks far too much like one of those leather things they use in that whole B&D human dog thing, and I’m pretty sure his ‘master’ won’t be too pleased to see him wearing that thing out in public, or with clothing on, Jesus hell.
Fuck, and I’m probably the most sexually innocent commenter on this damned blog, talking about this shit.
January 12th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
Every time I see Steely McBeam, I think of Duff Man. Just thought I’d share.
January 12th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Wow, so many customized Steeler jerseys with the names of cheap beer on the back. Tsk, tsk; not a good way to spend your welfare checks, Pittsburgh.
January 13th, 2009 at 8:39 am
How did Bo Schembechler’s kid grow up to be a Stillers fan?