Chilly Chill vs. Amorphous Blob With Headset. WHO YA GOT?

When a former offensive coordinator who can’t coach offense and a head coach with no grasp on clock management get together, it makes you wonder how these two clowns aren’t working for Jim Johnson. It’s their second meeting since Brad Childress took the Vikings job, but now it’s with their seasons on the line (seasons that started with very high hopes, plummeted to the Earth, then still somehow resulted in playoff spots). WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Brad Childress_________________Andy Reid

Player Without Whom They’d Be 6-10

Purple Jesus___________________Brian Westbrook

Got a ’stache?

Uh-huh_____________________Sure does

Resembles

Major Dad or Mr. Noodle_____________Kirby

Celebrates win with

A vodka as big as your head______________Gatorade bucket full of butterscotch

Who wants to see Sweet Home Alabama, only set in Minnesota?

NOBODY!

Style of FAIL

Meaningless challenges___________________Botched 4th and goals

Finishing move

Inducing Drew Magary heart attack______Suffering six more infarctions himself before estate is picked apart by deadbeat kids

Tags: , , , , ,

38 Responses to “Chilly Chill vs. Amorphous Blob With Headset. WHO YA GOT?”

  1. ScooterLibbyHoeller Says:

    Who cares? Playing for right to get destroyed by NYG/Carolina. Bah.

  2. IrishCream Says:

    Are you guys “warming up” to the idea of watching this game?

    /can’t believe I actually watched that trailer. my eyes are bleeding

  3. Upstate Underdog Says:

    my wife own Sweet Home Alabama on DVD. I refuse to watch it so I refuse to watch that You Tube clip.

    Also, Mr. Noodle is a bitch. Elmo owns him

  4. 2Port Says:

    Mr Noodle got ate by a Spinosaurus. True story.

  5. Roy Says:

    Actually it looks like “Sweet Home Alabama” meets “Fargo” meets “The Big Easy” –Every cheesy fucked up gimmick in the book!

  6. Chad's Wobbler Says:

    Can we film Drew watching the game and having a heart attack?

  7. DeepFriar Says:

    Boyz 2 Men over Prince in a landslide (possibly induced by heft of head coach)

  8. Otto Man Says:

    Was that a real film? Seriously?

  9. Chamomiles Davis Says:

    Apparently the new rule for romantic comedies is that the leading lady has to fall down at least once every ten minutes.

    Cultural Delicacy

    Lutefisk___________________Anger

  10. Rocco Says:

    I got Philly, if only in hopes of the rant Drew will go on after a Vikes loss.

  11. Visanthe Shiancoe Says:

    Just added that movie to my Netflix queue.

  12. Tracer Bullet Says:

    Say what you like about the Illadelph, at least nobody has set a Rene Zellweger movie here.

  13. Danish Says:

    Great work on the Andy Reid .jpg!

  14. Big Daddy Drew Says:

    When a former offensive coordinator who can’t coach offense and a head coach with no grasp on clock management get together…

    They make Brad Childress.

  15. Sea Otter Says:

    Yep, it’s January, the time when Hollywood dumps all of its sewage onto the screens. I mean, Harry Connick Jr.? You have to be shitting me. That guy makes Pauly Shore look like Brando. Do they figure that it has been long enough now that everyone forgets what a brutal actor he is?

  16. Boatdrinks Says:

    I just remember seeing Childress in a big huddle with like six guys at the end of the game last week. And all I could think of was “wwpd?” as in What Would Parcells Do? He would tell the six guys to get the fuck out of his face and have the decision made.

  17. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    Does Renee Zellwegger at least get thrown in a chipper-shredder?

    Time for my morning Scotch as big as Drew’s head.

  18. TDub Says:

    If it’s any indication the fans’ optimism for this little contest, the game is headed for a blackout. Good thing I’m going to this little gong show.

  19. qwijibo Says:

    that video clip needs more Gaear Grimsrud

  20. blerms Says:

    Instead of (not) watching this game on TV I’ll be sitting in the upper deck corner of the endzone enjoying my $35 tickets, hopefully stuck behind a pole.

  21. Grimey Says:

    Sexy Friday already ruined. Thanks, Renee Zellweger.

  22. HonoluluHoo Says:

    You guys are just waiting for the Visanthe Shiancoe slip up post game! HH@showoffsports.com

  23. Upstate Underdog Says:

    best band to ever come out of these cities
    Minneapolis – Husker Du
    Philly – Hall and Oates

    I’ll take the Vikings

  24. Christmas Ape Says:

    CHECK YOUR WORK

    The Roots > Hall and Oates

    Therefore, Eagles are the pick

  25. johndewar Says:

    -Coach Andy has mastered both “style of FAIL” moves in his Eagle tenure, so I’d have to go with Coach Fatass here. Doesn’t hurt that he has a pharmaceutical wonderland at his house.

    -Childress’ resemblence to Mr. Noodle is frighteningly accurate and just makes him look like a kid toucher. Shave the ’stache, Chilly, before someone gives you unwanted sex offender status.

    -If the Eagles went 6 – 10 without Westbrook, Reid would get a contract extension.

  26. WillyFourEyes Says:

    The gamer geek in me tells me to side with Kirby. Eagles by 6.

  27. Chamomiles Davis Says:

    @blerms: Given the geography, you’ll more likely get stuck behind a Swede.

  28. Quentin LogJammin' Says:

    Thanks for the Mr Noodle reference. I just couldn’t place him, the best I could do was remember he looked like the guy in the Wesley Snipes classic Drop Zone. But him and Mr noodle are one in the same!!!!!!!! And you’re right, he is Elmo’s little bitch, he does whatever he tells him

  29. PirateParrotDrugLord Says:

    Andy Reid kirby reference was too long in coming

  30. Two Napkin Tommy Says:

    I always thought Childress looked like the BTK killer.

  31. Gamecock'n'Balls Says:

    Unfortunatley, you missed Childress’s most palpable resemblance, that being Tobias Funke from Arrested Development.

  32. Day Man: Fighter of the Night Man Says:

    That movie looks about as good as Minnesota’s chances of actually winning this weekend. Seriously though, I would rather stick a needle in my cock than watch that piece of shit……of course I am talking about this upcoming playoff game.

  33. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    Our Fat Dead Kirby beats the Japanese cartoon Kirby I’ve never heard of.

    Also, The O’Jays are better than Hall & Oates and the Roots, but just not quite as good as Prince.

  34. fallex Says:

    “Resembles: Major Dad or Mr. Noodle”

    We’d have also accepted L. Ron Bumquist

  35. spanky datass Says:

    @ Chamomiles. Nice…subtlie, but nice.

  36. Nikki Says:

    Trying to get myself worked up into a rabid Go Vikings Go phase…but alas, I stopped having feelings after last Sunday.

    And every once in awhile, if you squint just right, Andy Reid KINDA reminds me of Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter.

  37. Westbrook Is My Anti-Drug Says:

    I didn’t know that my favorite character from Super Smash Bros. Brawl was an NFL head coach!

  38. Everyone Hates Philly Says:

    This, perhaps more than any other game this year, needs the coaches to get all Burr-Hamiltonian on each other at midfield.

    CAN WE GET SOME CONSTITUTIONAL ERA VIOLENCE UP IN THIS?!

    ‘Sides, both of ‘em would be improved by the addition of a powdered wig.

    Holy christ. Childress shaves the mustache, puts on a wig and he IS http://tommcmahon.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/quakeroo2.gif that guy.

Leave a Reply