Call of Duty: The Ben at War
Mike Tomlin: Ben, glad to have you back at practice yesterday. Last time we played the Chargers, we outgained them almost two-to-one but only came away with nine points from the offense. Gotta improve on that.
Ben Roethlisberger: …
Mike Tomlin: Ben! You with me? I know you passed the memory test, but I’mma need you sharp out there. Can’t afford mental mistakes in the playoffs.
Ben!
BEN!
Roethlisberger: HEADSPOT FEELS GROGGY. TOO MUCH HEAD IN THE GROG
MUST…KEEP HEAD IN MULTIPLAYER GAME
Tomlin: Comrade! We must exterminate the scum that has laid waste to our homeland. Take your gun and strike them down!
Ben: AYE AYE COACH
Roethlisberger: HEINZ FIELD IN BETTER SHAPE THAN NORMAL. GOT MY PEW MACHINE READY. LET’S GREASE US SOME JAPS!
WAIT – I THOUGHT I WAS IN A RUSSIA STAGE! THIS WAR TAKING A TOLL ON THE BEN
WHAT’S IN THAT TREE!?
PEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEW
OH, THERE’S A TREE IN THAT TREE.
AAAAAHHHHHH NO, HOW’D THE JAPS RECRUIT YOU HINES? DON’T WANNA GREASE THE HINES. HE’S THE ONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO SCORE ME THE CHOCO TACO
HIT R2 BUTTON!
R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R2
WHEW – BROKE HINES TACKLE. THAT WAS TOO CLOSE
WHY THE NATE DAWG IN MY SCOPE? DON’T WANNA PEW HIM EITHER. THIS WAR IS TURNING STEELER AGAINST STEELER. THIS IS THE WORST TRIP THE BEN EVER BEEN ON.
[Mike Scifres pooch punts grenade at him]
LINEMEN PLEASE FALL ON GRENADE FOR THE BEN
PLEASE
LINEMEN?
HALP!
BEN…
BEN NOT DEAD?
WHEN I SIGN UP FOR THE XBOX HEAD MEMBERSHIP?
IT KINDA COOL
Tags: ben rongrastname, I want to know Ben's XBox screen name, PEW PEW PEW, xmas ape
January 6th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Ben’s screen name: kawasakittome
January 6th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
I wish I had a real flamethrower, it works awesome on Japs.
January 6th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
OH, THERE’S A TREE IN THAT TREE.
Yo dawg, I herd Xzibit put it there.
January 6th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Yo dawg, I herd Xzibit put it there.
+1
January 6th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Ben’s screen name: BEN
January 6th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Ben’s screen name: HARF THROWA
January 6th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
So is Byron Leftwich guest posting on KSK?
January 6th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
His fingers are too fat to type
That or he types too hard and breaks keys
January 6th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
and each keystroke is preceded by a 10 second wind-up
January 6th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
MORE LIKE CALL OF DOODY HARF HARF HARF
January 6th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
“DONT WANNA PEW HIM EITHER”
bwahahaha…classic.
January 6th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Nate Washington was supposed to do a guest post, but he dropped the laptop.
January 6th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
The Marmalard VS The Retard!
January 6th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Awesome. Thank you for this.
Ben must be some kind of idiot savant with that “atoll” pun.
January 6th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
GOT MY PEW MACHINE READY. LET’S GREASE US SOME JAPS!
OK, that was funny.
January 6th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Ben’s sn: THRILLHO
January 6th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Maybe Ben would have a tricky name, so crazy fans don’t find him out and try shooting him with laser gun again:
NOT BEN7
Or maybe he’d say the hell with it and go with what he really wanted
CHOCO TACO LUVR
January 6th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
HEINZ FIELD IN BETTER SHAPE THAN NORMAL.
I lol’ed.
January 6th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
I always knew Ben was a wanna-be TKer.
January 6th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
WHY BLACK DOCTA FROM “HOUSE” ON THE FIELD?
January 6th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
[Mike Scifres pooch punts grenade at him]
Bravo!
January 6th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
the fingers you have used to dial are too fat. to obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.
January 6th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
I figured Ben to be more of an Excite Bike kind of guy..
January 7th, 2009 at 12:02 am
“Yo dawg, I herd Xzibit put it there.”
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Drunkship_Entities/Dawg/Dawg-13.jpg
Dawg!
January 7th, 2009 at 10:48 am
Well done. It’s amazing how you combined football blogging with video game clips and smack talk. All things girls DIE for. You must be rolling in trim.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Hilarious!
January 7th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Am I the only one who thinks the warped picture of Ben looks kinda like Michael Phelps?
January 7th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
“the fingers you have used to dial are too fat. to obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.”
Well played, sir. Well played.
January 7th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
I almost pissed my pants. You can’t put up funny shit like that when I’m not wearing my Depends, dammit!