Call of Duty: The Ben at War
01.06.09
Mike Tomlin: Ben, glad to have you back at practice yesterday. Last time we played the Chargers, we outgained them almost two-to-one but only came away with nine points from the offense. Gotta improve on that.
Ben Roethlisberger: …
Mike Tomlin: Ben! You with me? I know you passed the memory test, but I’mma need you sharp out there. Can’t afford mental mistakes in the playoffs.
Ben!
BEN!
Roethlisberger: HEADSPOT FEELS GROGGY. TOO MUCH HEAD IN THE GROG
MUST…KEEP HEAD IN MULTIPLAYER GAME
Tomlin: Comrade! We must exterminate the scum that has laid waste to our homeland. Take your gun and strike them down!
Ben: AYE AYE COACH
Roethlisberger: HEINZ FIELD IN BETTER SHAPE THAN NORMAL. GOT MY PEW MACHINE READY. LET’S GREASE US SOME JAPS!
WAIT – I THOUGHT I WAS IN A RUSSIA STAGE! THIS WAR TAKING A TOLL ON THE BEN
WHAT’S IN THAT TREE!?
PEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEW
OH, THERE’S A TREE IN THAT TREE.
AAAAAHHHHHH NO, HOW’D THE JAPS RECRUIT YOU HINES? DON’T WANNA GREASE THE HINES. HE’S THE ONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO SCORE ME THE CHOCO TACO
HIT R2 BUTTON!
R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R2
WHEW – BROKE HINES TACKLE. THAT WAS TOO CLOSE
WHY THE NATE DAWG IN MY SCOPE? DON’T WANNA PEW HIM EITHER. THIS WAR IS TURNING STEELER AGAINST STEELER. THIS IS THE WORST TRIP THE BEN EVER BEEN ON.
[Mike Scifres pooch punts grenade at him]
LINEMEN PLEASE FALL ON GRENADE FOR THE BEN
PLEASE
LINEMEN?
HALP!
BEN…
BEN NOT DEAD?
WHEN I SIGN UP FOR THE XBOX HEAD MEMBERSHIP?
IT KINDA COOL
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![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/redskins_thin_man1-150x150.jpg)
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I almost pissed my pants. You can’t put up funny shit like that when I’m not wearing my Depends, dammit!
“the fingers you have used to dial are too fat. to obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.”
Well played, sir. Well played.
Am I the only one who thinks the warped picture of Ben looks kinda like Michael Phelps?
Hilarious!
Well done. It’s amazing how you combined football blogging with video game clips and smack talk. All things girls DIE for. You must be rolling in trim.
“Yo dawg, I herd Xzibit put it there.”
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Drunkship_Entities/Dawg/Dawg-13.jpg
Dawg!
I figured Ben to be more of an Excite Bike kind of guy..
the fingers you have used to dial are too fat. to obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.
[Mike Scifres pooch punts grenade at him]
Bravo!
WHY BLACK DOCTA FROM “HOUSE” ON THE FIELD?
I always knew Ben was a wanna-be TKer.
HEINZ FIELD IN BETTER SHAPE THAN NORMAL.
I lol’ed.
Maybe Ben would have a tricky name, so crazy fans don’t find him out and try shooting him with laser gun again:
NOT BEN7
Or maybe he’d say the hell with it and go with what he really wanted
CHOCO TACO LUVR
Ben’s sn: THRILLHO
GOT MY PEW MACHINE READY. LET’S GREASE US SOME JAPS!
OK, that was funny.
Awesome. Thank you for this.
Ben must be some kind of idiot savant with that “atoll” pun.
The Marmalard VS The Retard!
Nate Washington was supposed to do a guest post, but he dropped the laptop.
“DONT WANNA PEW HIM EITHER”
bwahahaha…classic.
MORE LIKE CALL OF DOODY HARF HARF HARF
and each keystroke is preceded by a 10 second wind-up
His fingers are too fat to type
That or he types too hard and breaks keys
So is Byron Leftwich guest posting on KSK?
Ben’s screen name: HARF THROWA
Ben’s screen name: BEN
Yo dawg, I herd Xzibit put it there.
+1
OH, THERE’S A TREE IN THAT TREE.
Yo dawg, I herd Xzibit put it there.
I wish I had a real flamethrower, it works awesome on Japs.
Ben’s screen name: kawasakittome