Emotions run high in the postseason. Emotions also cascade down the cheeks of the losers in the form of warm, salty failure. These are felt no more keenly than by these sensitive souls. Sure, they try to tell themselves their teams have exceeded expectations and that they are therefore immune to crestfalling after a title game defeat. Because they’ll need your emotional support, WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Emo Eagles______________________________Will Leitch

Team

The Fierce Rune Blade That is the Philadelphia Eagles______The Buzzsaw That is the Arizona Cardinals

Song They Want Collective Soul to Play at Halftime

“Shine”___________________________“The World I Know”

Recent title from favorite baseball team so you don’t have to feel bad for him

Last October______________________2006

Top 2008 Emo Vampire Movie: Twilight or Let the Right One In?

Twilight!________________________Did Woody Allen direct one?

Injury That Follows Loss

Razor blade to the wrist__________________________Cookie sheet to face

Celebration After Win

Tears of fathomable joy________________________Indoctrinating all the new Cardinals fans

Finishing move

Not yet buying into recent good fortune_________________Brushing up on naked Antonio Pierce