“God, such a hard choice. I know. Let’s vote for that one guy we’ve heard of!” Your 2008 NFL MVP is Peyton Manning of the Colts. Of course he is. Did you know he was hurt earlier this year? Just a quick lesson for you, kids. Even if you throw 5 TD’s to 8 picks in the first six games of the year, you can still win MVP as long as people have heard of you and YOU WERE HURT. I’m assuming Brett Favre got 2nd place in the voting. Because his bicep hurt, you see. He would have clearly thrown 45 TD passes if he hadn’t been so devastatingly injured. What a soldier. No one else in the NFL plays hurt!
TAGS: quick hits
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With that kind of command of the language, Ape, you should write for AP!
i aint know much, but wasnt that roddy white character pretty good this year?
Ape, were you raped by Peyton Manning 15 years ago? Jesus Christ…
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weaselly
Save your sic
All this talk about PeyPey, James Harrison and Michael Turner not being MVPs because they have help — can we get a consensus that football is a team game and one man can’t do it all by himself?
(Well, except for T.O. He is capable of destroying a team as an army of one)
“…fawned over for the years he was good and given a pass by the media for being backstabbing, weaselly (sic) little shit.”
Newt Gingrich!
No, Matt. Because you know Peyton will, in his waning years, be exactly what Brett is now – fawned over for the years he was good and given a pass by the media for being a backstabbing, weaselly little shit.
Complete list of league MVPs who won the Super Bowl:
Bart Starr, 1966
Terry Bradshaw, 1978
Mark Moseley, 1982
Lawrence Taylor, 1986
Joe Montana, 1989
Emmitt Smith, 1993
Steve Young, 1994
Brett Favre, 1996
Terrell Davis, 1998
Kurt Warner, 1999
Huh. I would’ve thought that anything that forces BrittFar to take a step back in the record book – or at least a step sideways – would be considered a good thing.
@Roy
That’s not true at all, man. Everyone knows hookers don’t read!
Seriously though .. if you want to hate on people (as opposed to multimillion dollar athletic talents) 4chan’s right down the hall.
No, I’m not an AP writer because it’s a miserable fucking job.
You mean the MVP award is supposed to be about actual and not just perceived talent? Huh. Learn something new every day. Next you’re gonna tell me that the Best Picture Oscar doesn’t go to the actual best picture. That’s just crazy talk…
I guess my Dan Orlovsky for MVP campaign failed then.
“Turner” Guess that’s why you’re not an AP writer and in fact would only be read by your Mom if not for BDD.
I have no real problem with Manning getting it, though I think the margin was a little high. But it warrants mentioning again to you folks out there: WE HATE EVERYONE. So there you go.
Brandon Jacobs: Without the threat of a draw up the middle for 5 yards every time, the complete inability of the O-line to stop a pass rush sinks the Giants. Without Jacobs bruising up opposing defenses, Ward and Bradshaw average about 3.5 a carry. Without Jacobs, the Giants try to pass the ball into an 8-8 record at best, Eli fades back into obscurity and Plax never goes out celebrating and shoots himself into the leg. Well, 2 outta 3 aint bad.
DeAngelo Williams: Racking up over 1500 yards on an amazing 5.5 a carry with NO, count them, NO fumbles? This is a team which picked up a little over 110 yards a game on the ground last year and now they’re easily past 150 and about 5 yards a game from being the best running offense in the NFL. The difference? DeAngelo Williams. Certainly the most valuable midget in the NFL and quite possibly the most valuable player.
Troy Polamalu: The Anti-Visa is everywhere you don’t want him to be. Smart enough to know exactly where to be and quick enough to get there not only snags you a healthy number of picks, but it creates enough havoc in the backfield to slow down the pass until beastly LBs get in for the sack. On top of all that, there is no such thing as a big yardage play on his watch. It just don’t happen, folks. It’s hard to pick a single element of the Steeler’s defense, but someone representing the Most Valuable D certainly deserves a nod for MVP.
You know, you’d think the second-rated QB in the league would get a bit more respect. Especially considering what he had to work with. If you can name three Dolphins receivers off the top of your head, I’ll buy you a beer. Also note that the difference between Miami’s last place schedule and NE’s first place schedule is two games.
It’s clearly Manning’s anal traits that won him this award.
No Drew Brees, carrying his team despite extended absences from Colston and Bush, and almost setting the passing record in the process? Or, if you’re into the whole playoff requirement, PURPLE JESUS.
This said, the Colts are looking like the scariest team in the league, and my does that upset me.
not sure what the big fuss with Pey-Pey winning an MVP is about. Yes he’s a dipshit. But I’m not liking anyone else’s line any better. Truth be told, i hate the fucking Colts, and will be rooting for Laserface this weekend. but…
a) it’s useless to point out for or against a guy ‘carrying a team by himself’. Every candidate has an offensive line busting their ass for them. And talented pros at every position. The best players, the MVPs get the most out of what they got. Everybody anyone has mentioned above did just that. No more or less so than manning.
b) So Peyton rolled up on some garbage teams. Everybody’s gotta play the rejects eventually. just because they happened to come at the end of the year rather than spread out conveniently across the schedule doesn’t mean he should be singled out. Turner didn’t exactly show up every game either.
c) MVPs are just gravy anyways. Everyone but the TOs and Chad Johnsons of the world would trade 100 MVPs for a ring.
anyhow, just a bitter Bills blathering on. Fuck you Peyton.
I hate to be that guy, but are you guys crying injustice because Michael fucking Turner? His Y/A was 4,5, which is okay. But is lower than Derrick Ward, DeAngelo Williams, Brandon Jacobs, and other dudes. More carries, fine, but he padded his stats a bit against the Lions and the Rams.
I’m not saying that Manning deserved it. His season was more of a good story than a good season. But Turner? Why? Because his team sucked last season, and now is good? What if his defense sucked like the Broncos does? He wouldn’t have won as many games, and then he wouldn’t have been the MVP? That’s dumb, I think even giving to the best story would not be as moronic as this. Falcons sucked without Turner, but they sucked without Ryan as well. They sucked, made some changes and got to be a fine team. I’m pretty sure it has shit to do with the coach or the GM, it’s all about Turner!
DeAngelo Williams should have won the MVP. Or Andre Johnson. Or Drew Brees. Or Ed Reed. Or James Harrison. I’d be okay with any of these 5 guys winning it. Peyton Manning and Michael Turner shouldn’t have won for the same reason: They were not the best at their position. And if I don’t ever have to listen to that silly ‘Guy who helps his team the most’ bullshit. HOW THE FUCK CAN A GUY BE WORSE AT EVERYTHING AND STILL HELP HIS TEAM MORE THAN THE OTHER GUY WHO’S BETTER?!
True, Harrison has seen better days, but he’s still better than most no. 2 receivers in the league.
I don’t have any real problems giving it to Peyton, and I wouldn’t have had any problems giving it to Micheal Turner or Purple Jesus. There wasn’t really a standout guy who carried his team to the playoffs and had the best stats. Peyton did win because he is the most recognizable figure that is without question, but he really did play well at the end of the season and his team isn’t very good without him.
@UU
Yes, and add Favre, Steve Young and Emmitt Smith as well.
No, Peyton doesn’t have Reggie Wayne, Marvin Harrison and Dallas Clark helping his cause. Gutty fetus head does it all himself.
Describing Harrison as “helping” Manning or the Colts in 2008 would be a very creative description of his performance.
also, add Terrell davis to list the list of MVP’s that also won Super Bowls in the same season.
@ Christmas Ape
Heeeeey- you’re right. Remember that game where Payton threw those 4 TD passes to himself? Lord knows he had to with the terrible recievers he’s got…
No, Peyton doesn’t have Reggie Wayne, Marvin Harrison and Dallas Clark helping his cause. Gutty fetus head does it all himself.
plus, the guy’s head looks like a #2 pencil, let’s let him have his awards ok?
@ Christmas Ape
ACTUALLY I’d say Cleveland is responsible for Indy’s victory that week.
Peyton deserves it. The Colts couldn’t run the ball, the offensive line sucked monkeyballs, YES the defense played awesome (Love my Indy D), but that kept them in games, it didn’t win it for them. Peyton did that.
Who else sticks out though? Matt Ryan and Michael Turner hurt each other in the voting process, the Pittsburgh D was oustanding, but James Harrison and Troy Polamalu hurt each other in the voting process as well. “Momma’s Little Angel” Chad Pennington? he did great, but also had 2 good RBs.
Kerry Collins had that great run game, Carolina’s too balanced to reward one player, NYG’s are too much of a running team for Eli to get it. Rivers is a piece of shit, no ones likes him, no way he gets it.
No other team had one player that was the key to their success like the Colts. And yes, I’m sure Peyton being a media darling helped.
@monkey business
“an MVP has never won the Super Bowl”
“Joe Montana and Kurt Warner both won MVPs and Super Bowls in the same season.”
Lawrence Taylor and Favre have also won MVP and SB in the same season
And Turner finished second this year, he should have won
Harrison got a couple votes and that’s fine. It hasn’t gone to a defensive player in 22 years.
Pey-Pey? PEY-PEY?! Where’s the love for Peezy?! THAT”S DISRESPECT!
In all seriousness, c’mon it should have Harrison. Even with solid guys behind him, you can’t deny he’s a beast.
Turner
It’s the associated press who does the voting- those guys are all god-damned retards anyway…
Ah suck it you haters. Peyton rocks.
Yes, and two of those games that occured prior to Week 14 were big wins against the Ravens and Pats. He also had QB ratings of over 90 in road wins over the Steelers and Chargers. During the Colts nine game winning streak to finish the year he had 17 TDs and 3 INTs.
His constant fellating of the press certainly helped his cause and there were other deserving players, but it’s not like this came out of left field.
Ape, who do you think should have won it?
Was Peyton responsible for the Cleveland win? When the offense scored three points?
Was he responsible for beating the Patriots 18-15?
No, those look like defensive wins to me.
Of course Caveman’s post would make it in before mine and I find myself looking like a fucking moron. Anyway, in the forums I’m on exactly zero of the people who are saying Manning deserved it are saying a word about his knee. They’re saying things like “The Colts would have started 1-6 instead of 3-4 without him, and he carried the team to the next eight wins.” Isn’t that what a VALUABLE player does? Who’s personally responsible for more wins?
@MonkeyBusiness: Hey, fuckwit, Joe Montana and Kurt Warner both won MVPs and Super Bowls in the same season.
Prior to Week 14, Pey-Pey had two 300-yard games and two games with a QB rating over 100. Then, in the final three games, he whipped off two 300-yard games and three 100-plus ratings performances against, respectively, the Bengals, Lions and Jaguars.
As KSK’s resident obnoxious Colts homer, I can only ask: if not Manning, then whom?
Haynesworth, Turner, Polamalu, Ray Lewis, Tuck, Jeff Saturday, about 50 other also-worthy people. (But not Purple Jesus. Even I agree he doesn’t deserve it.)
Manning has his head so far up the press’s ass that this should be no surprise. Purple Jesus should have taken it home, with Harrison as a shoo-in for DPOY.
Can any KSK writers say who should have won instead? It’s not like the NFL was crawling with obvious MVP candidates this season. Tell me who should have won and give some good reasons or quit acting like all of the voters are drooling retards who are swayed by a minor human interest story.
As KSK’s resident obnoxious Colts homer, I can only ask: if not Manning, then whom?
The fact that you left Michael Turner carrying a team with a rookie QB off your list shows just how homery you are.
I hate Peyton Manning’s ridiculously large head and MVP victory equally. I couldn’t agree more that he was chosen just because people have heard of him.
tom brady is the mvp, clearly the patriots would be undefeated with him. NO ONE DENIES THIS!
If Tim Tebow’s Girlfriend’s Tits hadn’t changed his commenting name so many times after Pats losses, he’d still be Handful of Peter.
I’m surprised he didn’t pose as Steeltown for that one.
Pey-Pey can have his undeserved MVP award. All of more justification when he blames his line for losing to either the Chargers or Steelers.
Eli realizes now that helping a 10 year old Peyton when Cooper tried to smother him in his sleep is the reason why he’ll never be Archie’s favorite.
As KSK’s resident obnoxious Colts homer, I can only ask: if not Manning, then whom?
Adrian Peterson? He who fumbles if a stiff breeze blows by?
Kurt Warner? Who has basically shit the bed every week since the Cards clinched?
Phillip Rivers? Who is QBing an 8-8 team that lucked into the playoffs playing in the worst division in the league?
James Harrison? Who has LaMarr Woodley and Troy Polamalu backing him up?
Chad Pennington? Who won one less game than Peyton in a worse division with a last place schedule?
Matt Cassel? Who took a 16 win team and turned it into an 11 win team?
I ask you, if not Manning, then whom? Manning, without whom the Colts might have won 4 games. Manning, who put the team on his shoulders and practically willed them to victory.
On the upside, take solace in that an MVP has never won the Super Bowl. But, there’s a first time for everything.
Peyton! Eli! 2 Mannings! 1 Trophy! It’s Colts versus Giants in Super Bowl 43! Just you wait. It’s coming.
So if Drew Brees completed that last pass, he’d be MVP, right?
Shit, he should have been MVP anyway.
How could they possibly nawt pick Wes Welkah! This is nawt fayuh.
Harrison should get the Defensive Player of the Year for his stats, but he’s not the best or most valuable player on the Steelers D. If any Steelers defender deserved the MVP it would have been Polamalu. Manning won by default, and the only 2 players close were Brees (no playoffs, no MVP) and Purple Jesus (legitimate gripe). I see it as a coin toss between Manning and Purple Jesus, and it came up abnorminally gigantic fetushead.
“Just a quick lesson for you, kids. Even if you throw 5 TD’s to 8 picks in the first six games of the year, you can still win MVP”
All you have to do is go 9-1 with 22 TDs to 4 picks in the last 10 games
@ TTGT agree with that, especially since they gave it to Ray Ray in the past, he better not get shafted for defensive player of the year.
I think it should have been Michael Turner in all honesty. however media whore white quarterback vs black running back…hmmmm. NFL law pretty much dictates the outcome of that vote. At least one of Favres records came down, I hope that by the time he is trying to make out with newscasters on the sidelines his only remaining claim to fame is the INT mark.
Boo!!!
Bernard Pollard – THE REAL MVP!!!
More endorsements!
I’m cutting myself as I read this……oh sweet pain…..it feels so real….not like this Peyton Manning horseshit…..
Sweet sweet pain
If James Harrison had not be held so much, he would have amassed 87 sacks this year. How can he be overlooked?
Wahhh! HOW COULDAH DA LEAGUAH NOT AWARDAH MATT CASSELL DA MVPEEEEEE!! DA CONSPIRACY CONTINUES I”M COMING FOWAH YOU COMMISINAH GOODELL…
/Babelfish needs a BAWSTON translaton option
un-fucking-believable. i hope the colts (and peyton) take a ginormous dump this weekend.