Drunk, fat, crying Giants fan defends himself.

UPDATE Blubbering (and blubbery) Giants fan Rob emerged to speak on his own behalf in the comments of Saturday’s post. Here are some of the highlights:

Think of something more to say then just fat jokes. I realize I’m fat, in that I am the one putting the fattening foods, into my fat mouth…By all means, say what makes you people feel good, but it doesn’t have an impact on me in the slightest. This is making me a celebrity..so by all means continue….I weigh 250 pounds, maybe a few pounds more. I know what I am. I LOVE Big Mac’s and I will continue to devour them as I see fit. I was just simply referencing to the fact that I don’t need to be told that I am fat, because, well, I realize the sentiments and quite frankly, that’s me and that’s fine. I’m a fat fuck and whatever the case may be, but that doesn’t stop me from hanging out with my large group of friends, some of whom were even referred to as “banging”… Holding an overflowing cauldron of love, Rob.

Sounds like Rob talks a good game when he’s not completely shitfaced. If only he could bottle that poise and circumspect philosophy and save it for next season when the Giants crap the bed again. At least Rob is taking the abuse like a man this time around. And certain readers owe him a debt of gratitude for introducing to these parts #47– who seems to have rapidly become KSKommenter’s new favorite jailbait.

Hey Flounder, next time you get shnockered and make an ass out of yourself, make sure she’s close by.

Tags: ,

118 Responses to “Drunk, fat, crying Giants fan defends himself.”

  1. 85 Says:

    We’re not telling you you’re fat, Rob. You’re right, you already know that. Think of it as us laughing behind your back about how you’re fat.

  2. Punch Rockgroin Says:

    Too much pie, that’s your problem.

  3. MSP1 Says:

    #47 + #69 = KSKommenters’ wet dream

  4. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    Some day, scientists will invent a way to take Big Macs rectally

  5. Mike D Says:

    No, no..it’s not that you’re “fat” it’s that you’re a “fat pussy”…easy mistake to make there though, so that’s ok.

    Honestly though, WHY OH WHY are we caring about this when there’s a new Peter King MMQB where he talks about “walking into” John Madden and his “travel pal and confidant John Robinson”. So a never-married Favre-lover has a “travel pal”….rrrrrrright.

    All I’m saying is:

    Fat Rob jokes < Gay Peter King jokes

  6. MSP1 Says:

    @Punch, and not enough hair pie. Dude needs to stop crying and get some pussy.

  7. Weed Against Speed Says:

    Holding an overflowing cauldron of love, Rob.

    Now what person in their right mind would refer to sausage gravy as “love”?

  8. TW Andrews Says:

    Can Rob hook me up with that chick that called him a pussy in the video?

  9. Slothrop Says:

    Not understanding how this ‘defense’ addresses the real issue: crying like a three year old when she pulls out the knot on the supermarket balloon and it floats away.

  10. 310ToJoba Says:

    So what a minute, being portrayed on KSK in a way that shows you how much of a worthless sap you are makes you a celebrity?!

    /emails flub unflattering pictures of me

    Do your “worst”, gentlemen!

  11. CR Says:

    @ Mike D: read my mind. MMQB!!

  12. Grimey Says:

    What’s even more hilarious is that Rob is standing up in that video

  13. Upstate Underdog Says:

    off topic, but if you hate kids and you hate the Steelers do not go to deadspin.com right now.

  14. John S. Says:

    That might be the saddest thing I have seen in a long, long time.

  15. Grimey Says:

    Also, that photo needs a caption.

  16. LaFavre's Next Retirement Says:

    This guy needs to spend some time with Ufford – a little man training.

  17. G.G. Says:

    “This is making me a celebrity”

    Ugh. Everyone in this country that shares that same philosophy can eat a gun powder sandwich.

  18. TF88 Says:

    @ Grimey

    Well Played sir! Very well played.

  19. Ben Says:

    I enjoy how rob says we’re only making him more of a celebrity (aka the Jay Mariotti defense)

  20. The Hammer is My Penis Says:

    Someone seriously needs to do a re-edit of Rob’s video, scored with sad “Baby Elephant March” Tuba music.

    Now I’m off to continue searching the Wade/Jerry posts for a nickname to life for old Rob. So far I’ve got “Ham Cameron,” “The Big Fat Human Moon Bounce,” and “Mr. Butterworth.” Ah, Jerry/Wade. The posts that keep on giving.

  21. Sanchez Says:

    Rob has gone a long way to redeeming himself, but what he really needs to do is get some pics of #47 to this site. Stat.

  22. Rocco Says:

    Am I also a “celebrity” for making it on KSK? I do like the attempt to divert the mocking from being a pussy crying about a fucking football team to just being a fat guy. I bet his Match.com profile says “A few extra pounds”.

  23. putridstinkstar Says:

    Where is McLovin and the beer-filled detergent containers, Rob?

  24. yournamehere Says:

    I have a feeling this guy could rescue someone from a burning building, only to have the person he just saved say “Hey, aren’t you the fat pussy from the internet?”

  25. bk Says:

    slightly off-topic: am i the only freak who notices that many of the best ksk posts (this one included) occur at precisely 11:11 am?

    also, sign me up for the #47 fan club.

  26. Crazy Little Thing Says:

    And certain readers owe him a debt of gratitude for introducing to these parts #47– who seems to have rapidly become KSKommenter’s new favorite jailbait.

    Hey, we’re good people–we don’t play favorites.

  27. TW Andrews Says:

    Rob has gone a long way to redeeming himself, but what he really needs to do is get some pics of #47 to this site. Stat.

    Seconded. But with way less than sweatpants on.

  28. BurritoBrosShits Says:

    250 pounds my ass. By a little more you mean give or take another 50? Stop being delusional.

  29. Jay Says:

    Seconded. But with way less than sweatpants on.

    Thirded. Now let’s see if these html tags work.

    Also she’ll only be this kskommenter’s second favourite piece of illegal ass until Dakota Fanning turns 16. Evanna Lynch on the other hand, 17. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah

  30. SonOfSpam Says:

    (sniff sob) LEAVE ROB ALONE!!!! (wipes away makeup)

  31. Barry Lutz Says:

    The Four Seasons saw this video and decided to change the name of their work-in-progress song “Big People Don’t Cry.”

  32. jackin'4beats Says:

    Rob was, is and will always be a dripping fat vagina. Now get your female “friends” over here with less clothes on STAT.

  33. e Says:

    What a fat cunt. I could not even watch the entire clip because it made me so uncomfortable. I would let the girl blow me. Why does she hangout with such a waste of skin?

    Somewhere his father takes another sip of whiskey to ease the pain.

  34. bushwank Says:

    if this beached fuck is a fahkkin celebrity, then so is TAWMMY, ya grimey cockwallets! PAY-TREE-AHHHTS!!

    seriously, though, he’s mistaking being a celebrity with being the factual realization of an archetypal figure of a jizz-swilling Giants fan KSK has been trying to nail for the past year. this is not about “rob” or whoever the fuck, this is about the idea we have about fat fucks all over New York crying their fat fuck asses off because…..well fuck them, that’s why.

  35. C-Student Says:

    America loves HOT, WHITE, JAILBAIT, ASS!

  36. Needs More Cheerleaders Says:

    Fatty, you still haven’t told us who #47 is. We all want to meet her. Tell her to drop by.

    Also, who is the goddamn saint of a girl who just keeps arguing with you? She’s got to be your sister or something, right? Any halfway self-respecting chick would have walked out on your blubbering ass five seconds in.

  37. Dibbly Says:

    Cheer up flounder.

    /crushes beer can on forehead
    //smashes beer bottle on head

  38. Arlow Says:

    How long until this fat fucker shoots a famous musician?

  39. chris johnson as a second language Says:

    …..fat people and their fat diversionary tactics,i tell ya…he’s trying to pull fat voodoo and distract from the fact that his fat ass was crying over a football game and looking like a fat fucking moron. i dont care how fat you are you fucking fatty,fat,fat,youre still a loser…..fatass.
    /the word “fat” in this comment is to be spoken only by mike gundy

  40. skim172 Says:

    Rob thinks his internet fame will help him score with chicks.

  41. Nate Newton's van Says:

    Rob cares about his team.

  42. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    This was filmed and uploaded by the Star Wars kid.

    True Story.

  43. IAmTheLaw_clerk Says:

    “I LOVE Big Mac’s and I will continue to devour them as I see fit.”

    Hmmm…I would have pegged him for a Baconator guy myself.

  44. HonoluluHoo Says:

    Hey, i love you like a fat kid loves cake, Rob. HH@ showoffsports.com

  45. Pubic Enemy Says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ-V1w4qJHw

    Rob eats these twice daily, while crying into his Giants mug.

  46. Stylist Mick Says:

    Shut the fuck up fatboy and go eat some Shaun O’Hara decorated cupcakes of fail.

  47. jackin'4beats Says:

    Honolulu Hoo with the fiddy reference.

  48. John Morgan Says:

    Rob needs to learn the difference between celebrity and public humiliation. What kind of culture do we live in where a man revels pillory?

  49. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    He’s trying to parlay this into a reality tv show.

  50. Free Ookie Says:

    This guy is provided with a public forum to explain himself for that, and his only comments are about his weight? Not his crying meltdown? Not about how for a minute there when 47 is gesturing towards her crotch, it seemed like she might be about to drop her pants?

    Speaking of 47, less then this gave us a maxim spread for Fuck Da Eagles Heather….just sayin 47, college tuition is on the rise you know…

  51. david r. Says:

    sounds like someones a little sensitive about his weight

  52. Rob Says:

    Haha, you guys are too funny! Glad to have met some of you. I’ll have too frequent this website a little bit more.

    Cooking a delicious love sandwich and giving it to you guys,
    Rob.

  53. MrRedDevil Says:

    BIG. FAT. PUSSY.

  54. Rob Says:

    Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat’s meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

  55. GoSlash27 Says:

    “Think of something more to say then just fat jokes.”
    Okay….

    Gimme a minute….

    You’re a blubbering pussy?
    I don’t care what size/ shape blubbering pussy you are; that’s beside the point. You love your football team and that’s commendable, but come the fuck on!
    You are surrounded by way too much desirable poon to be sitting there emo-ing out like somebody stole your lunchable.
    Man up and say “here’s to next year” and let it go.
    That hottie behind you? She will never, *EVER* fuck you now. Because you’re a pagina. She even said so.

    And that’s the biggest tragedy of all.

  56. Rob Says:

    There was never an intent. She is currently with another one of my friends. These are people that I know and hang out with. These aren’t random girls that I met on the street.

    I mean, I’m sorry if I don’t want to fuck my friends, whom I’ve known for years. If that was the case, they’d be more then friends to me. I’m sorry if this does not reflect your lifestyles. It’s just not me. I guess your just that much better then me.

    I’m sorry.

  57. Ed Anger's Ghost Says:

    Breaking: Big Fat Pussy From YouTube Video Continues to Not Understand Purpose of Kissing Suzy Kolber

  58. Rob Says:

    I guess not.

    I was just invited to be interviewed for the New Jersey Star Ledger concerning this video.

  59. Toki Wartooth Says:

    Who gives a shit? Answer the fucking question, Fat Tits: how old is #47, and does she put out? No one cares about you.

  60. Drew Brees' Mole Says:

    That is awesome Rob!! I believe Oprah wants to interview you also, man you are so famous. Can i have your autograph.

  61. Dr. Manbrough, Pu D. Says:

    “I mean, I’m sorry if I don’t want to fuck my friends, whom I’ve known for years. If that was the case, they’d be more then friends to me.”

    As if you don’t jerk off every night to that little piece of ass.

  62. GoSlash27 Says:

    Let me put it another way:
    Your new-found internet celebrity has just assured that you will never get to play “hide the salami” with ANY WOMAN WHO HAS EVER SEEN THIS VIDEO.
    And that’s a lot of women, Rob. A *LOT* of women.

    You *do* want to get laid someday, don’tcha?
    So Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over?

    I’m one of those hated Steelers fans. I was going door-to-door with my classmates getting my Terrible Towel signed by all the greats back in the ’70s. I know what it’s like to feel emotionally attached to your team. And it sucked when we lost that superbowl to Dallas back in ‘95.
    It sucked *real* bad.

    But nobody saw me shed a tear over it and SURE AS FUCK nobody FILMED IT and put it on YOUTUBE!!!
    There’s always next year, so cut the Emo crap, grow some fuzz on those peaches, enter the witness protection program, and hope against hope that nobody ever recognizes you.

    As for your friend… her boyfriend hangs out with whiny coochies and that’s not a healthy environment. Send her my way.

  63. Christmas Ape Says:

    Rob:

    As someone who’s achieved internet infamy for doing stupid things, let me be the first to tell you that interviews don’t equal money for you.

  64. Rob Says:

    OK. Thanks fellas.

    We’ll see what happens.

  65. Rodgers Neighborhood Says:

    “I’m sorry if I don’t want to fuck my friends, whom I’ve known for years.”

    We, OTOH …

  66. Rodgers Neighborhood Says:

    @ Ape: Not so fast. Maybe Newhouse is hiring “citizen journalists.”

  67. TW Andrews Says:

    I mean, I’m sorry if I don’t want to fuck my friends, whom I’ve known for years. If that was the case, they’d be more then friends to me. I’m sorry if this does not reflect your lifestyles. It’s just not me.

    Who the hell else are you going to fuck!? Trust me dude, with your physique, you’re going to need to rely on your personality to get laid. That limits the field to chicks you already know, and who can stand to be around a blubbering whale–even if they call you a pussy on film.

    Now get on the god damned horse and get #47 to show her face (or better yet, something else) around here. I’m sure her new-found (if limited) fame will be a huge turn on for her boyfriend. You should tell her that.

  68. Rob Says:

    Not happening dude. She doesn’t want any part of it.

    Sorry to have to tell you that.

    Love, Rob.

  69. cheaptoy Says:

    I’ve been refreshing this thread every 10 seconds waiting for the next car on the pile up.

    This has been the best night of my life, internet-wise. Fucking brilliant.

  70. BurritoBrosShits Says:

    Fucking Patton Oswalt looks like a pimp compared to your Rob. Jesus this is epic.

  71. comment reader Says:

    I read the comments on the youtube page… #47’s youtube username is lisamartinez87… she’s 21. enjoy

  72. Rob Says:

    I’m upset that I didn’t find this website sooner. I would have loved to talk about some other stuff with you intriguing people. Let’s not talk about the past, I’m here now, and we’ll have many memories from this point on.

    Giving the blessing of love and love to all of whom I love,
    Rob.

  73. GoSlash27 Says:

    As more of a ‘personal affront’ comment…
    Your team won the superbowl last year and good on ‘em, but when you go on the assumption you “deserve” the Lombardi, it’s impossible to not come across as… well, a dickhead. A pudgy, whiny, insufferable dickhead.
    Nobody “deserves” the superbowl other than whoever wins it. Yeah, even if it’s the Arizona Cardinals.
    So don’t be an arrogant prick. Be thankful your team made the playoffs and let it go at that.

  74. Jabroni Says:

    Listen, I know no one cares, but honestly, how do people make it to this fucker’s age and still not know the difference between “then” and “than,” not to mention “your” and “you’re”? I am ashamed.

    Oh, also, stop eating so much.

  75. GoSlash27 Says:

    ” Lisa Martinez”….

    Rowr :D

    ‘87 ( I assume) means she was born in ‘87 and thus fair game.

  76. cheaptoy Says:

    Jabroni, there’s a “to” and “too” mistake in there, as well.

  77. Rob Says:

    Jabroni, I’m eating a Big n Tasty right now. What are you gonna do bitch?

    Nothing.

    Because it’s the internet.

  78. TW Andrews Says:

    iving the blessing of love and love to all of whom I love,
    Rob.

    Ah, that’s why trying to bang attractive girls “just isn’t you.” It’s totally ok you’re gay.

  79. nick s Says:

    haha i am so glad i sent this video link to ksk

  80. Orton's lucky shot glass Says:

    Rob is just confused because when he plays “Hide the Sausage” he is actually looking for his penis between the folds of what appears to be 250lbs of chewed bubble gum and dried rubber cement

  81. Rob Says:

    Orton: It’s actually 250lbs of fat.

  82. Fat Joe Says:

    #47 FTMFW

  83. Orange Julius Page Says:

    @ BurritoBrosShits,

    I totally agree with your call on the 250 lbs. Don’t get me wrong, I grant a degree of respect to Rob for coming here and getting jobbed, but unless he’s 4 feet tall or has not stepped on a scale in 3 years, there is no way in hell he’s only 250. Dude is easily in the area of 3 bills.

  84. Dudee Says:

    who has enough time on their hands to look up which ID on youtube was hers? YIKES, too much time on your hands dude.

  85. Spencer Says:

    I would obviously fuck #47 in half, but let’s give some props to the “STFU” guy at the end of the video. That’s really the funniest part of the whole thing.

  86. Spencer Says:

    BTW, for those who believe that Rob is gay, you may want to check this video out: http://tinyurl.com/dmlnub. From about 2:25 on, some pretty interesting shit happens.

  87. chuck Says:

    how bout we call him buttertears?

  88. dinosaur Says:

    So who’s the bigger blubbering lardass, Rob or Peter King? Is Rob destined to be Peter King 20 years from now?

    And Lisa Martinez is now microfamous. She might as well embrace it, because she’s the new Allison Stokke. It ain’t going away.

  89. Mark Says:

    Ha, I knew #47 wasn’t jailbait!

  90. the mighty bdb Says:

    Rob. Stop replying to people and start posting webcam action of #47. It’s the way to find redemption.

  91. Sanchez Says:

    KSK it’s time to start the fund. I’m sure if we raise enough #47 will send in some shots. We promise we will all donate because we’re all twisted fucks.

    DO it.

  92. GoSlash27 Says:

    “I would obviously fuck #47 in half, but let’s give some props to the “STFU” guy at the end of the video. That’s really the funniest part of the whole thing.”

    Agreed.

    Rob,
    You need to thank that guy. He’s the only one in the video that acted like a friend.

  93. rb in atl Says:

    For those of you wondering, #47 is in spencer’s linked video, dancing.

  94. Rob Says:

    I thought I had some problems. Stalking the poor girl is really bad though.

    Good luck on that path of life though.

  95. Capt. Hate Says:

    #47 is the star here, Tubby, not your dumb whiny ass. So, does she put out or what? Oh, yeah, sorry, why am I asking you, Chubs? How would you know?

  96. FredExit Says:

    So does this Rob guy think he’s an internet celebrity? I wonder who signs his checks for internet money, then.

  97. Spencer Says:

    Rob I think you should be grateful of the comments you are getting here. The YouTube comments have much less substance and just consist of people saying, “STFU fat lard!”

  98. will h Says:

    rob the path of life is fun when you beat the giants two straigh times at the meadowlands. #47 can eat it. what kind of friend acts like that. to get back at her, dont fuck her, fuck her boyfriend. that’llSHOWEM

  99. Capt. Hate Says:

    I’ll pledge $5 if she’ll low-ride those sweatpants……

  100. TW Andrews Says:

    I’d kick in $10 for a provocative swimsuit/lingerie video. More for tits or poon

  101. come on rob Says:

    I know people like you, rob. The kind that try to ‘kill with kindness’ in a lame attempt to score points with ladies that you’ll never, ever fuck. I have known dudes that are either just slightly too ugly and totally weak when it comes to having game, or guys that have no fucking clue how to play the game, so they fall back on the overly nice approach that you seem to rock in every post on here.

    Just go home and kill yourself before it’s too late. I knew a dude, like you, that eventually went insane when he hit college after finding out all of his youth-group so-so hot ‘girly friends’ really didn’t ever want to fuck him and really did think he was just a nice guy because he was ‘acting nice.’ And once they figured out he was only in low prowl to get poon, he was a fraud.

    He dropped out of school, hangs out with fat chicks, works at a grocery store, and now even those chunk women won’t touch this creeper!

    You are so fucking doomed.

  102. ron Says:

    “this is making me a celebrity.”

    what a perfect 6 word distillation on why this society is doomed. way too many people think “pathetic laughingstock” = “celebrity.”

  103. Lisa Martinez Says:

    these comments are hysterical.

  104. Rob Says:

    I’m gonna take this advice given and go to a bar tonight, and try to use it. And then I’ll come back on here and just tell you how it went because, you know, people need to come here first before doing anything. I feel as if my life just started when I started reading these posts. It’s like a revelation of caterpillars, all decorating there festive balloons while there pens cannot stop clicking and there toyota’s are screaming at them from across the street.

    It’s like a frozen elephant once said to me, you can take the boston creme pies out of the person, but you can never take an 8 year old to the zoo without first putting some tissues in her hair. I mean, whats this world coming to when a bag of blood can’t be used in a poker game? I’m just trying to basically say that there’s no room for trees to become people in this world because that would mean that the soil would turn into bean sprouts, and we all know what happens when bean sprouts turn into black cats. It’s like it’s fucking walking ladder thats trying to teach you algebra.

    Just bear with me here. If somebody ever comes to you and tells you that they think your arm is on fire, don’t look. They’ll just put a bag over your head and start feeding you twizzlers from the bottom of the Grand Canyon. And believe me, nobody wants to go Georgia and find themselves hopping on a pogo stick until there’s 80. We all want to do something with our lives, and there’s no reason why we can’t elect a clock to be our president. I mean, we’ve already seen what happens when flowers look at each other and have pollen fights, we’ve seen what happens when Tommy Pickles from the Rugrats is doing kareoke with Reptar, and finally, we’ve all seen how the yellow bellied boat monster can play a fucking game of tennis.

  105. Capt. Hate Says:

    From the Newark Star-Ledger website..

    “Hey everybody, It’s Rob from the video. The comment I made about the Big Mac’s and stuff was basically just to fuel the fire on KSK. They try so hard to demoralize people and it’s funny as hell to see them blow up and try harder. I don’t eat 5 Big Mac’s a day or anything like that. I’m a big guy though, really can’t hide that fact, although the video does make me look bigger then I actually am. Camera’s hate me. Who knew. Haha.

    I know I came off as a baby and honestly, there’s nothing I could do about it. I’ve done some pretty stupid stuff when I’ve had too much to drink, and this includes streaking across Fordham’s University’s campus, so my friends are used to this kind of thing.

    Obviously the Giants are my love and that night there was so much vodka and so much talk between me and Danielle that I guess I just broke down. I can’t tell you exactly because quite frankly, I don’t remember anything. Not one bit of this.

    I’ll talk to you guys soon.
    The Crying Whale, Rob.”

    So cmon everyone, gotta try harder to hurt Fatty’s feelings.

  106. Rob Says:

    One time, I was playing Monopoly with some friends and this bitch is all, BOARDWALK and I’m like, you don’t have enough money to buy it, and she’s all, that’s okay I’ll take out a loan from the bank and I’m all, WTF you cannot take a loan out that is so against the rules. So she doesn’t buy it. Next thing I know I roll an 11 and im paying luxary tax and im all come the fuck on with this bullshit, so they i dont land on free parking which means i gotta find my own spot and wait for an hour and a half. All i wanted to do was ride the reading railroad and the conductor is all, no give me 200 and im all, wtf? so i try again and hes like, somebody owns this already and has two other railroads so you give me 100 dollars right now. so now im mad, i give him the money, so see my friend in jail but don’t worry, i was just visiting because im not a crook or any shit like that. so i decide i want to go to pacific avenue and just take a little stroll, all of a sudden, i get this card thats all like, you win 15 bucks for winning a beauty contest and im all, 15 dollars for winning what kind of shit is this and wait a second i wasnt even in a beauty contest. So i roll again and walk my spaces and of course, there construction all around the fucking place. People are just putting new houses and hotels everywhere these days. Its hard to miss. So i go up to one of the new hotels on park place and ask if theres any rooms for rent, and the guy tells me like 1200 dollars and im all, come the fuck on buddy theres no way, and hes all you owe me this now and im all like i dont have it and hes all up in my grill trying to hold my tail and im all fuck it ill just sell all my property back and get nothing, so now basically im fucked and this bitch is all, i wanna take a loan out and im all shut the fuck up charmander you aint doing shit and shes all i could do whatever i want its my monopoly game and im just like, wtf is monopoly we’re playing dont wake daddy you mother shitbitch, and shes all leave my house and im all like this isnt a house and your not even real your from my imagination. they everyone disappeared.

  107. Yoda+Slash=Homeward Bound Says:

    Does anyone else here use Degree for men? I was thinking about using it I just wanna make sure it doesn’t have too many calories in it, you know? I hate putting calories under my arms and then having to fight in Space Mountain. Anyway for the guys that wanna hook up with our friend, no problem. She lives in the Emerald Zone but she goes byt he name “Zelda.” Should you want to talk to her you have to make sure you do so before Snake beats the shit out of Liquid. If you feel like you can definitely, AND I MEAN DEFINITELY, manage with all this then what you need to do is find Frodo, rip that shit off his neck, take a bite of the poison apple while the evil sorceress has it in her mouth, give the people’s elbow to Goofy before he disappears back to Shadow Moses, and then you should be all set to marry Princess Toadstool…I’m sorry but after 4 years with her our friend in the background of the video will appear to you. If you can beat her in a quick game of super smash bros then she’s yours, if not then you’re doomed to eat chicken forever. Good luck if you still want to go through with it. May the force be with you.

  108. Yoda+Slash=Homeward Bound Says:

    I’ve been friends with Rob for 7 years. We fought Metal Gear together

  109. S.Tan Says:

    Bobert,
    Hark!
    Do not falter lest ye lose faith. a True Warier knows when to cry, when to fly, when to die and of course when to fold.

    Bangin’ people make bangin friends. You, sir, are BANGIN!

    L.A. is still a better city, but yea whatever. Eli’s a pussy so we can forgive Giant fans like yourself. Kobe would make a better football player than Plaxico Burress or Roethlisberger, because he is not a pussy.

  110. S.Tan Says:

    hey enough with the garbage type Bobert
    if you think you’ve lost you save more face by saying nothing more.
    peace my tru warier

  111. Steeleeerssss Says:

    Yo I found that chic’s facebook & she’s still fukin hot.

  112. YoGi K Says:

    yo http://www.myspace.com/leeloovee

  113. will h Says:

    rob, in an earlier post you said it was captian morgan, but in the paper you said it was vodka. tomorrow, it will be gin. so you’re one of those exagerating drunks. take 4 shots and tell everyone you had 8. push your lame accent more and more with every jeeegaaaboooommm. you’re a poser. giants are going downhill, what will you do when they dont even make the playoffs? that shit will be in the NY POST.

  114. Rob Says:

    I’m just going by what my friends tell me. The Giants might not make the playoffs. It’s tough league to be consistently good in. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

    We won’t make the playoffs just like:

    We would not make it this year.
    We would be last in the NFC East.
    We would never beat the Pats.
    We would never beat the Packers.
    We would never beat the Cowboys.
    We would never beat the Bucs.

    Going downhill?

    We’ve been to the playoffs 4 straight years, and in the past two, we’ve won a Super Bowl and we’re the Number 1 Seed the next year. If that’s considered downhill, they sign me up.

  115. Frank Drebin Says:

    Are you always this fuckin’ retarded?

    And I am calling bullshit on your “so drunk I can’t remember correctly” proclamation. Even after nights where I’ve blacked out from drinking, I can still recall what I was drinking that caused it to happen (usually tequila). So just fess up and admit that you’re a giant crybaby. Regardless, the evidence is there on the internet.

    Oh, and fuck the NY Giants. Number 1 seed got knocked off. Happy offseason, fatty!

  116. Frank Drebin Says:

    Brian Dawkins drinks your tears!

    Why aren’t you an Eagles fan? You and Andy Reid already have so much else in common…at least when it comes to sticking things in your gullets!

  117. Creed Bratton Says:

    At least when Tony Homo cries, it’s because he’s just fucked up at his job…whether that be bobbling a snap or turning-over the ball multiple times in a 44-6 drubbing with the playoffs on the line.

    But any time a fan cries, and that fan is over the age of 13, well that is just goddamn fucking pathetic. How dull is your life that you place so much care into a fucking sports team. You have no direct input into the outcome of their play. You are just a fat lardo who sits on the couch eating entire large pepperoni pizzas (by yourself), while cheering them on. That’s the extent of your “we” ideology on your being a part of the NYG organization.

    I’d hate to see your reaction if you had just had a death in the family, if this is the result of your favorite sports team losing…

    PATHETIC.

  118. 1997 Jared Fogle Says:

    And I thought I was fat! Look at this lard ass!

Leave a Reply