Can’t someone just hit her in the face with a cookie tray? Glendale mayor Elaine Scruggs placed a wager that if the Cardinals win the Super Bowl, the Steelers have to plant a cactus outside Heinz Field. Conversely, if the Steelers win, a Western Pennsylvania tree gets to try to survive the arid desert climate. Nothing stirs up a football game like horticultural-related bets. What’s wrong, Scruggs, too scared to wager the pharmaceutical contents of the local retirement communities?
Tags: just another plant for fans to pee on, quick hit, woodsy the owl approves
January 24th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
The Steelers should plant grass at Heinz field first.
January 24th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
If your team wins, you get a cactus…saguaro you bitching about it?
/you can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think
//hey, I know puns are lazy, but there’s no football this weekend, so fuck you
January 24th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
I think that’s a great idea! That way, when the Steelers win their 6th Superbowl there will be a leftover from Pittsburgh outside the ‘cage to go with all the Pittsburgh leftovers inside the ‘cage.
/ badumching
January 24th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
BANG! BANG!
January 24th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Come on now, everyone knows Cactus Jack is from New Mexico, not Arizona.
January 24th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
In a more enlightened world, the mayors’ horticultural bet would be between the two local strains of sticky icky. That would be an interesting, engaging wager.
January 24th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
What a boring wager. Boo…
January 24th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
All wagers should involve cookie sheets. Plus, cuz the one mayor is a chick, she can actually bake cookies first!
January 24th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
They should have made the bet, I Shitburgh won, their fans would get to rape and pillage Arizona. If the Cards won, the Still’rs fans would rape and pillage their own homes.
January 24th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Mayors bet:
If Pittsburgh wins: The mayor of Glendale is to be sodomized by Steely Mcbeam and Santonio Holmes
If Arizona wins: The mayor of Pittsburgh must fellate Charles Barkley in a ‘93 Suns uniform and kiss Leitch on the mouth (before or after)
January 24th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
All said bets should be based in local cuisine; in this case, Primantis vs. the TGI Fridays in the Glendale Mall. Or maybe the Cheesecake Factory. You know, something nice.
January 24th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Pittsburgh wins: they get Cindy McCain’s medicine cabinet
Arizona wins: they get Jeff Reed’s liquor cabinet
Also, off topic, but look @ where Pittsburgh ended up here:
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/top-25-fittest-and-fattest-cities-in-the-u-s-351934
/it won’t stop the Pittsburghers are fat jokes
January 24th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
How about a case of Iron City Beer against a case Cave Creek Chili Beer?
Or how about 100 gallons of ketchup vs. 100 useless online diplomas?
January 24th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
If Arizona wins, Mayor Steely McSteelersteel will have to re-enact 5 minutes of “Raising Arizona” on Oprah.
If Pittsburgh wins, Mayor Steely McSteelersteel will have to re-enact 5 minutes of “Raising Arizona” on Dr. Phil.
/ only fair
January 24th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Cards win: She gets the money from all fines DUI, disorderly conduct, vandalism and wife beatery for the night of the game (A figure economists estimate to be a billions).
Steelers win: She has to be called Gov. Cuntface in all government business for the next three months, and give analingus to Casey Hampton after the game (before his shower).
January 24th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Cardinals win: divert the Allegheny to Phoenix
Steelers win: divert the Salt to Pittsburgh
January 24th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Decaying post-industrial dystopia vs. artificial sprawling oasis: Who ya got?
January 25th, 2009 at 12:07 am
If the Cards win: The Steelers have to plant a cactus outside Heinz Field.
If the Steelers win: Mayor Scruggs must use said cactus to re-enact the “Lust” killing from “Se7en.”
January 25th, 2009 at 1:57 am
someone needs to plant a fucking cock in the mayors mouth to keep it from making such stupid fucking suggestions…..
January 25th, 2009 at 8:42 am
Jam Master A thinks this post should be censored. He thinks it’s unsensitive to women. The rest of us understand it’s not personal, just comedy.
January 25th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Mmm…Cave Creek Chili Beer…thanks for the reminder, porky1.
In other news, I saw a cat with a Steelers helmet on the Weather Channel this morning. Ape, are you sending pics of Jean Grey to WC?