What hath Heath Shuler wrought? Tim Couch is considering a foray into that inveterate bastion of incompetence—national politics. The former waste of a #1 draft pick is considering running for the seat currently occupied by Kentucky Senator Jim Bunning (R), should the 77-year-old decide not to seek reelection in 2011. Yeah, Bunning is a crappy senator, but at least the old buzzard had some game during his playing days.
[ KyPolitics.org ]
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I surely love the beer pong game and i think you pointed out many important and interesting arguments of it. Maybe you can add some more partygames for the coming? – I would love to see a few more. So long, keep on writing, I will definitely come back.
Tim Couch is the last cylon.
You know, that DOES explain a lot.
…
no it doesn’t. Fuck.
@colonelstoli: How about a NSFW warning, before the 2nd comment.
I think “Tim Couch…True story” is going to be my entry into the Fantasy Football Names List.
Tim Couch has acquired weapons of mass destruction.
true story
Tim Couch is the last cylon.
Science fictional story.
I do not give a flying shit flinging orangutan about anything that truly happened to Tim Couch.
True story.
Tim Couch was one of the most prolific high school and college quarterbacks of all time.
True story.
tim couch is my dad.
true story.
Sorry I suck so bad at putting links into my comments. Needless to say it’s about forty pics of Mrs. Couch naked. Maybe all the moonshine and incompletions made his cock huge. Who cares, he gets it with a strap on!!!
True story.
i think its “gunga ga lunga”
I was hooking up with this chick who was so hot, then she wanted to do ME with a strap on while I wore purple camo pants. Said she did her husband this way all the time! Come to find out it was the Mrs. Couch!
True story, honest.
Check this out, you are welcome in advance.http://www.sweb.cz/beauty2002/heather/heather1.html
Playoffs?!?!!!
/Jim Mora’d
(which, btw,…True Story)
One time, Tim Couch led the Cleveland Browns to the playoffs.
True story.
One time, Tim Couch ran Hal Mumme’s chuck n’ duck offense, putting up impressive numbers while losing most games 45-38. The Cleveland Browns were stupid enough to think this would translate into NFL superstardom and wasted a #1 overall pick on a guy whose college playbook consisted of three formations.
True story.
One time, Tim Couch walked on to my favorite football team and was cut in the preseason because he couldn’t beat out Craig Nall and J.T. O’Fucking Sullivan for Favre jock-fluffing duties. He fucking sucks and means nothing.
True story.
(Must have a gigantic penis or something. I just can’t figure it out otherwise.)
One time I was in a bar and FMRA came in wearing a Hooters outfit. My real name is Tim, so FMRA said “Are you Tim Couch, because I want to fuck you”? I lied and fucked her. She left the hooters unifom in my bed. I’m not married so no one found it, but I wear it myself sometimes when I masturbate. It’s so hot!
I think it’s another Tim Couch that is considering running for office. Believe it or not, there is a Tim Couch from the same area of Kentucky as the train pulling QB Couch, and he is a politician. Look into it.
Heather Kozar is from Akron, fwiw.
futuremrsrickankiel Says:
I fucked Tim Couch.
True story.
I have the video of it
Long Story, but a good one
I agree, if we have to name a winner of the thread, Claude Balls is it.
One day my wife couldn’t find her uniform for work. She goes “I don’t know where it could be.” I’m like, “Bitch, cable’s gonna get cut off if you don’t find it and go to work.” She goes, “I have no idea where it could be. Try Tim Couch’s house.” I go over there and ask the lady of the house if they have a spare Hooters Uniform. She goes, “yeah, but you can’t have it, my husband bought it for me for role playing.” Then she slammed the door in my face. Then our cable got cut off. True story.
I heard Tim Couch pronounces it “COOCH”. That’s what a stipper told me. True story.
Touche, Punter.
PS: I sincerely hope you’re reading this comment while on a steamy, 5-hour-long bookstore date.
@cc: +1 per ball
@captive: +1 per ball
You are correct, the moral of the story is not to trust people whose last name sound like ouch.
+2 to claude balls. One each for those comments.
I think you are thinking of Eric Crouch.
Funny coincidence, Eric Crouch strangled my first wife.
@ Otto – yes a connection to pro sports and all related to each other some how, some way
@claude: Good thing Couch played for Nebraska.
So he says to me, “Gunga. Gunga la Gunga”
I taped Tim Couch having sex with the city of Akron
True story.
So, I am dating this Hooter’s waitress in Lexington, Kentucky. My friend, who is the bartender tells me that one night, some former UK football player living off of his college glory comes into the restaurant and sits in her section. According to my friend, my girlfriend gets all flirty with the guy, and he gets all frat boy with her. They leave together more than an hour before her shift ends. She doesn’t come home that night, and two days later, a jogger finds her naked body behind a golf course.
Thank God, I finally have closure. And a Tim Couch story.
Looks like his ploy to ‘roid his way back into the league failed and he got off the juice because a while ago that guy was freaking huge.
That chick looks like the “actress” from Las Vegas in MTV’s True Life: I Want the Perfect Body.
What, nobody else watches MTV anymore?
Tim Couch wouldn’t fuck FutureMrs even if she stuffed her pussy with another two-year deal.
I eiffel towered futuremrsrickankiel with Tim Couch.
True story.
join the club… i mean it. you should. we have t-shirts and everything! they say “sex is always better on the couch”
I fucked Tim Couch.
True story.
Here’s another Tim Couch story. One time I was in a bar and a pirate ship came crashing through the wall. Tim Couch jumps off the pirate ship and says, “Arrgggh, I’m Tim Couch matey.” All the women in the bar took off their clothes and boarded the pirate ship and then Captain Tim sailed away.
True story.
So a former football player (Couch) wants to replace a former baseball player (Bunning), but he might get challenged by the governor (Chandler), who’s the grandson of a former baseball commissioner?
Is it a requirement that all Kentucky politicians have to have a connection to pro sports? And, if so, what was Mitch McConnell’s claim to fame? Was he on the Virginia Slims tour?
If that’s a true story, that’s just sad.
Didn’t he get busted for steroids?
Here’s another funny Tim Couch story. Me and my friends were hanging out at a strip club when in walks Tim Couch with two playmates on his arm. He walks up to the first stripper he sees and says, “I’m Tim Couch. Let’s fuck.” Long story short, he bangs every girl in the place and asked me to videotape the whole thing. True story.
Please tell me one of you is working on blasting Rick Reilly for doing an article on Beer Pong
Here’s a quality Tim Couch story. Some friends and I went to a strip club with Tim. He told us about the time he brought home a Hooters girl and banged her in his marital bed. The next day, Mrs. Couch is making the bed and finds the full Hooters girl outfit—sexy orange shorts, tank top—in the sheets. She immediately confronts Tim. Tim, showing much more awareness and ingenuity than he ever did while under pressure in the pocket, said, “Oh yeah, babe, I thought we could try some role-playing.” In the words of Jerry Seinfeld, sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees INTO it. She puts on the outfit, and Tim bangs her in the same bed.
It upsets me that he’s married to one of the hottest Playmates ever, Heather Kozar.
You think this is bad, wait until Leaf runs for president in 2016…
The news story makes me want to kill, but the picture makes me want to kill using the jawbone of Couch.
Akron getting a lot of press on KSK this week. Being born and raised in that fair city, I can honestly say this is the most excited I have been since it was mentioned in an episode of Seinfeld
flubby said bang!!
What? No one wants to be the mayor of Gary, IN?
HOW DARE YOU BESMIRCH AKRON, OHIO?!
Upon hearing this news, Cade McNown will now seek the should-be vacant Illinois senate seat
/Couch is still married to Heather Kozar, right?
Tim, who the Hell do you think you are? Former New Orleans Saints All-Pro Linebacker Pat Swilling?