Ooohhh, look at the big-shot serious writer! Did you ever expect to see the name “Drew Magary” hidden amongst the schmaltz in Reader’s Digest? Well, now you can read Drew’s six-word memoir on love. Surprisingly, it’s not about pie.
I think a better one would have been “Born fat, raised preppy, jerked it.” Yours in the comments.
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Suck me, you beautifully plump cockbucket.
You love football? Here’s some dick.
Comes equipped with, BIG JIM SLADE!
You know, at Exeter, the chins are a big part of this
Yeah, suck it like your mother.
Just this once, use some vaseline.
Pey Pey chokes in big games!
Pew Pew Pew, Boom-Boom in pants!
I swear, the condom won’t break.
Darren Sproles is hot. No homo.
Please, how could I miss this?
Fuckity fuck fuck, you fat fuckhead.
Nothing a big dick won’t fix.
Mostly I pray she don’t die
Can’t you just leave me alone?
Lets do coke, kill more trannies.
Barren Rodgers, you will die alone and unloved. Good luck with that.
Get the fuck out of here. And no, that is not my 6 word soliloquy. It is my response to all the retards who needed to write their 6 words and to the even bigger retards who posted more than once.
Daddy, please say I was adopted.
“yeah. i have a trust fund.”
Many KSK fans typing one-handed.
Tits or get the fuck out
Season Ticket Holder for Detroit Lions
[Door flies open]
Herro Lound eye!
Do I get paid for this?
Yes. You get paid. For this.
My arm tingles. Having heart attack.
I’m a grower, not a show-er
*meant fat, not queer. Oh, wait…
“Yes! Give it to me daddy!”
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Peyton’s telling me I’m queer!
DREW IS FAT! HARF HARF HARF
A little late for the party on this one, but thanks Smello for describing me.
Let’s go with Feed Me. Suck Me. Fuck Me.
Fat, drunk, stupid? My kinda man.
First love: Sears Catalog, Ladies Underwear
Welcome to To Catch A Predator…
Brothers don’t shake! BROTHERS gotta HUG!!
Rubbing one off to Barker’s beauties.
Yes, I’m Master of my Domain…
That Dora bedspread is very distracting.
I was really thinking about Marmalard.
Another douche writing for Reader’s Digest.
I think… yep, I just came
Small and brief. Bad for me.
Did we have sex? You sure?
(Nice Steely Dan reference there, Friar. From Gaucho, no less.)
Will write blog posts for food.
Whitlock’s stomach is of supreme comfort.
Salmon polo brings out the chins
Number 1 fan of Shiancoe’s cock
What were we talking about again?
The Cuervo Gold. The Fine Columbian
Heaven must be missing an angel
It gets bigger, baby, I promise!
Wait! Please come back! Stop laughing!
Trig Palin 35 years from now.
Charles Haley, my long lost lover
That was amazing! AM I RIGHT?
Shrimp Pad Thai. Diet Doctor Pepper.
Eating mayo straight from the jar.
You. Me. Back of dad’s van.
I’ll have another, make that two.
Five dollar, five dollar foot long.
@futuremrs
“O HELLZ YEZ, HE GON’ DRANK” is technically only one word.
Reverse cowgirl? I didn’t even ask!
My tits are bigger than yours.
You don’t make friends with salad.
I could do this all day.
“Which blond afro are you referring?”
Masturbating? I am fucking INTO IT.
“Love, love will tear us apart”
Alleged child molester. Confirmed buffet molester.
Travis Henry is probably your father.
Don’t worry, pot made me sterile.
This donkey still turns me on:
No, there wasn’t a lump there.
I did not have sexual relations
“FANTASTIC bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich”
My van doesn’t have any windows.
Your Sniz Smells Like Goat Cheese
Brown liquor, the Marines, meticulous proofreading.