Unless you have a rooting interest, today’s early slate– save the Falcons-Bucs game– is a complete disaster area. Dog games galore. The ESPN Countdown crew took turns riding the high horse this morning; telling us what an abject failure the T.O. Experiment has been and how they knew all along it would end so badly. The only other place where people will tell you retrospectively of their long-standing confidence that things would come to pass is my barbershop.

If you believe these old duffers, they could have fixed the economy, Iraq and America’s sorry public education system years ago if only those fatcats in Washington would listen. Yet, in spite of their dedication to curing the nation’s ills, they still find time for levity. A few months back while waiting my turn, another customer asked what they did with all the hair that accumulated on the floor. “Well,” said one of the old barbers, “Ain’t good for nothin’ ‘cept makin’ muskits.” “What the hell is a ‘muskit’?” I asked, “Like one of those old-timey rifles?”

The old barber looked at me and in a very somber tone replied, “A muskit is a wig for a bald pu$$y.” He brayed with laughter and shouted “E.G.! E.G.! He fell for it! He fell for it!” The other barber burst from the men’s room, still pulling up his trousers, laughing at me. “Son, you just fell for the oldest barber joke there is.” They spent the rest of my visit giving me the business, and I went on my way.

Fast forward to this weekend, the boy and I both needed haircuts. He’s too young to sit still while I’m in the chair, so the wife had to come too. The situation presented a singular opportunity to exact my revenge. The boy got his haircut, then I took my spot in the chair while he sat with the wife. The second barber took advantage of a lull in business to tidy up a bit. He retrieved his broom from the corner and began sweeping. That was the wife’s cue. “So,” she asked icily, “what do you do with all that all that hair?” The old guy froze in his tracks, turned bright red and didn’t say a word. Nice.


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