“Which one of you fine ladies wants to get with the Copenhagen Dragon?”
Morten Andersen will likely be remembered as the most prolific kicker in NFL history and not, thankfully for him, his 1994 talk show. In this segment, Andersen comes off as patronizing and a tad lecherous as he interviews some NFL cheerleaders. Sure, I could just sit back and let you watch it without my uproarious, yet insightful, commentary– but that’s no fun for me. Let’s break it down, shall we:
0:05 Mr. Andersen’s wardrobe furnished by “Antoine’s”, Bourbon Street’s finest t-shirt stand. Check out their selection of Mardi Gras beads and alligator skulls.
0:35 I buy my shelf-paper by the waguespack, it’s more economical that way.
0:41 The Sainstsations have evolved, they have three boobs now.
1:15 “Hot chicks running in slow motion. It worked for ‘Baywatch’ and it will work for Morten Andersen.”
1:30 “No, my mother has not killed anyone on my behalf” WTF, Morty?
1:56 Right off the bat he asks Kristi if she can date players. Those European guys, always with the smooth-talk. “But you can date players from teams besides the Falcons, right?”
2:25 It’s just a coincidence Andersen went to Atlanta the following season, right?
2:48 Wow, the budget for the show’s set must have been in the tens.
3:09 Psssst, go to camera two.
3:12 “I can’t remember if I’ve seen you at road games. You are insignificant. I want to talk to the blonde some more.”
4:21 There’s no more bitter rivalry than the Falcons and Saints??? Egad, he must have eaten some tainted eel.
4:30 “No really… scratch and claw a little bit for me. Please.”
4:58 C’mon Angie, no one wants to be like Morten. Not even Morten wants to be like Morten.
5:15 Aw, hell no.
5:20 You can tell Morten is dying to ask if the trading cards also list “measurements” and “turn-ons”.
5:55 “Seriously, have you heard anything? The guys won’t talk to me because I’m just a kicker. The last time I even made eye-contact with Pat Swilling, he gave me a wedgie”
6:19 “GAWDAMMIT SAY SOMETHING BAD ABOUT DEION!!!”
6:40 Wow, that’s a lot of forced laughter.
6:50 This is a pretty complex series of maneuvers, that must be why Kristi is sitting this one out. Not because she is creeped out by Morten or anything.
7:20 Water polo? You wacky Dane!
December 30th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
“In this segment, Andersen comes off as patronizing and a tad lecherous as interview a some NFL cheerleaders.”
I didn’t think this was an Emitt Smiff post….
December 30th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
me fail english, that’s unpossible
December 30th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
At first I couldn’t believe you missed making fun of Mr. No Socks, but thankfully I read the tags.
Loafers + No Socks = Class
December 30th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
that was awkward
December 30th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Is it bad that Mort wasn’t as stiff and awkward as I expected him to be?
December 30th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Apparently nobody told Morten that purple pants are for faggots and Vikings.
December 30th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
This show is HUGE in Denmark. Brigitte Nielsen is the sidekick and they’re sponsored by Carlsberg.
December 30th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
“So, haff you ladies effer been to a rainbow party?”
December 30th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
The Copenhagen Dragon = The Smokeless Tornado
December 30th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
I’m still trying to find the Jan Stenerud Show. A Norwegian is better than a Dane any day of the week.
December 30th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Morton reminds me of Dennis’ European room mate on that one episode of It’s Always Sunny
December 30th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
“Let me show you girlss thiss drawing of Muhammad I did.”
December 30th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
“Here’ss somezing you probably didn’t know: Brigitte Nielsen iss hung like a Danish Warmblood.”
December 30th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Who the fuck thought that Saintsations is a good name for a cheerleader squad? I think they should have gone with The Bag Ladies.
Also, nice Luke Skywalker haircut Morten.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
flubby, I am guessing the Texas Cheerleader murdering mom happened around then, or earlier, and was probably “hot news” so he had to dispell those concerns right up front.
Did you notice, he asked if they had a “probowl” around 3:46 and looked totally surprised that they did.
I was pleasantly surprised by his English skills. Creep factor high, good English.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
$10 bucks says Morty wasn’t wearing any underpants for that segment.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
I remember this show. I also remember in New Orleans, Letterman and Leno both finished behind reruns of “Mama’s Family.”
December 30th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
“A lot of people think we all practice together.” Sure!
December 30th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
I can’t believe that video was from 1994. It seems at least 15 years old.
Oh…shit.
December 30th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
As a Dane I must point out, that he isn’t from Copenhagen…
… Naaah, nevermind…
December 30th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
I have become more retarded after watching this. Thank you.
December 30th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
That REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hurt my soul to watch!
December 30th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Are DVD editions of each season of The Morten Andersen Show available? I like to do my holiday shopping pretty early; and I have some neices & nephews who love football-kicking Danes in loafers and mid-90’s NFL cheerleaders in mad panty hose…
January 2nd, 2009 at 6:33 am
To add to the “creep factor”, MA were a guest commentator on the Super Bowl between the Iggles and the Pats, and besides being really drunk and annoying towards another of the commentators, he also mentioned how he would like to “FUCK that cheerleader”.. That or he said something like he would love to have the cheerleader in question lick his ballsack.
January 2nd, 2009 at 9:19 am
Oh yeah, Dane…
I totally forgot ’bout that… Classic!
Momentum…