The Tables Turn On The Double J
Wade: Oh, SHIT. Shit shit shit shit shit. I am FUCKED. I mean, I’ve been fucked before. I’ve been beaten, branded, tickled, raped, spanked, and fired 339 times now. But I am definitely fucked this time round. WHAT DO I DO?!
You know what, ol’ Wade? You’re screwed anyhow. I’m tired. I’m tired of going apeshit trying to put out fires I got no chance of extinguishin’. You know what? FUCK IT. I’mma have some Oreos.
(opens drawer)
Mmm. I tell you, ain’t nothin’ finer than a good stack of Oreos. You come through that door, Jerry Jones. You’re not gonna stop me from enjoyin’ a well-earned treat.
(door flies open)
Jerry: WHERE IS THAT FAT FUCK?! PHILLIPS?! DON’T YOU TRY AND HIDE FROM ME, CHOKOZUNA! I can smell the hoagie dressing bursting out of your pores! You think you can choke away a ten point lead in seven minutes and then avoid THE ARKINSAW ASSPOUNDER?! Git your fat, drooping ass out here now, Brando! Here fatty fatty fatty! Here fatty fatty fatty!
Wait… what the… Why, you ain’t hidin’! YOU GOT YOUR FEET ON YOUR DESK AND YOUR STUFFING YOUR FACE WITH COOKIES ON MY TIME, YOU FUCKING HOT AIR BALLOON!
Wade: Yep.
Jerry: You sure as SHIT better have a good explanation for this, Beastula! Did you see my boy ROMO out there against those Pittsburgh faggots? HE’S A STAR! AND YOUR FAT ASS MADE HIM LOOK THE FOOL!
Wade: Well, that was clearly Garrett’s fault.
Jerry: What?
Wade: Hey, I did MY job. The D held those darn Steelers down. Why don’t you ask ol’ PRINCETON BOY why he dang offense didn’t move an inch!
Jerry: Well, I… you fat… I’m so GODDAMN… YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE COWERING IN FEAR RIGHT NOW, SCRAPPLE MARTIN!
Wade: Well, I ain’t. I’m tired, Jerry Jones. I’m tired of sittin’ here having everyone shit on ol’ Wade. High time Wade did some backstabbin’ of his own!
Jerry: Oh, is that so? WELL IT DON’T WORK THAT WAY, TUBBY! NOW YOU OPEN UP THOSE BIG FAT SHIT-PLUGGED EARS OF YOURS AND YOU LISTEN TO ME…
(door gets smashed into 3,000 very small pieces)
MBIII: JERRY JONES! JERRY GODDAMN JONES!
Jerry: Oh, FUCK! (hides behind Wade) Don’t move, fatass. You just sit there and eclipse me the way you do the sun, and other heavenly bodies.
MBIII: Jerry Jones, you can’t hide from me, MOTHERFUCKER! Y’all better move out of the way, Coach P. ‘Cause I’mma make caramel outta that wrappin’ paper-faced motherfucker! MOTHERFUCKER, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE AND FACE THE MUSIC!
Jerry: (comes out) Marion! Marion, my boy! Can I git you anything? Complimentary beverage? Hot stewardess that’ll fuck you blind?
MBIII: Gimme your toe, MOTHERFUCKER!
(takes Jerry’s toe, dislocates it)
Jerry: GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
MBIII: Oh, I’m sorry. DID YOU FEEL A PINCH THERE, MOTHERFUCKER?! FUCKING HURTS, DUDN’T IT?!
Jerry: (wincing) Ain’t nuthin’ the ol’ Double-J can’t handle!
MBIII: (twists toe) Oh really, MOTHERFUCKER?!
Jerry: GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
MBIII: Try and sit in on your board meeting with THAT, ASSHOLE! You still think I’m soft, motherfucker?
Jerry: No.
MBIII: (twists toe) I CAN’T HEAR YOU, CRACKA!
Jerry: NO!
MBIII: See now, that surprises me, seein’ as how you thought Marion Barber had pussied out of that game Sunday. YOU STILL THINK I PUSSIED OUT, YOU FUCKING HICK SACK OF SHIT?
Jerry: NO!
MBIII: That’s more like it. Now you fucking listen to me, Jerry Jones. If you EVER call my ass soft again, it’ll be the last thing you say before I drive a GODDAMN motorcycle up your CHICKEN FRIED ASSHOLE. YOU HEAR ME, MOTHERFUCKER?
Jerry: Yes.
MBIII: Call my ass SIR, MOTHERFUCKER!
Jerry: Yes, sir!
MBIII: Marion Barber doesn’t back down from any fucking challenge, lest of all one from some goddamn tumbleweed-eatin’ MOTHERFUCKER LIKE YOU! I will fucking run through the goddamn River Styx to win a game! You gotta tear my fucking dick off to keep me off that field. SO IF MARION BARBER SAYS HE CAN’T TRAVEL WITH THE TEAM, YOU BETTER BELIEVE HE’S IN SOME NEW FUCKING DIMENSION OF PAIN! YOU FUCKING HEAR ME!
Wade: Can I just say, Marion, that you are AMAZING?
MBIII: Shut up, fatass.
Wade: Yes, sir.
(door flies open)
Pacman: Yo yo. Pacman be putn hiz deekaleek in dem azzcakez when mista trayna man say he ain’t gon shine. Pacman ain’t down wid it. Pacman wanna shine. Pacman wanna go n tak hiz peese uh duh pie. Pacman gon shine. Oh, he gon shine. He gon make dat pussy drool. He gon turn dat pussyfountn da fuk on. Pacman down wid it.
And Pacman gon drank. Oh, he gon drank. BULLEE 2 DA DAT. Pacman say ain’t no drank drank till dem chikns git xtra crspy. Pacman like dat. Pacman got his drumstik. He gon make a bitchbizkit. Shoot dat gravy on da bitch. She gon lik it. Pacman down wid it.
MBIII: And another thing. I cannot understand GODDAMN WORD this asshole is saying! How the FUCK are we supposed to win SHIT when players can’t speak English, MOTHERFUCKER! I’m out there stiffarming motherfuckers, and this asshole’s talkin’ about PUSSYJOOSE! WHAT THE FUCK?
(door flies open)
Garrett: Ah, Marion! Marion, my good man! How are you? Did you have a good EATING today?!
MBIII: You fucking red-haired Ritz cracka looking motherfucker! RUN A GODDAMN PLAY ACTION PASS TO SOMEONE OTHER THAN WITTEN FOR ONCE, MOTHERFUCKER!
Garrett: But Jason has such a fine pedigree! Why wouldn’t I call 56 passes for him?
MBIII: Motherfucker, I GOTTA HEAR ABOUT THAT SHIT! Fix the goddamn offense, or else that faggot ass TO throws his soiled maxipads in the middle of the GODDAMN LOCKER ROOM! FIX IT OR MBIII WILL DROWN A BITCH!
Wade: You heard him, Jason. Fix it.
Garrett: What? Well, I never! Do you hear the way they address me, Mr. Jones? THEY’RE SO GUTTURAL!
Jerry: Just do what they tell you to do, SHITHEAD! My fucking toe is dislocated! HOW AM I GONNA STICK IT IN A HOOKER’S COOTER NOW?
MBIII: That’s your problem, motherfucker.
Garrett: (dragging Jerry out) You haven’t heard the last from us! You shan’t get away with this!
MBIII: Yeah well, whatever. YOU DRAG THAT CRACKA ASS MOTHERFUCKER OUT OF HERE AND DON’T COME BACK! THERE’S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN TODAY, AND HE’S THE BADDEST BLACKEST MOTHERFUCKER YOU’LL WISH YOU NEVER FUCKING MET! YEEHAW! I AM GODDAMN PISSED!!!!!!
This week, we’re holding the second annual KsK Kares Kharity Drive for Fisher House, which helps build temp housing for disabled veterans and their families. You can donate directly to FH here.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, fat coaches, fat people, marion the barbarian, wade and jerry, YES THEY DESERVED TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL
December 12th, 2008 at 11:36 am
MB3 doing a jules winnfield impression?
December 12th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Yay for Wade!
December 12th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Way to go, Wade.
No, no…. I promised myself … I wouldn’t cry! Oh, dammit.
December 12th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Way to go fatass. You’ve earned another oreo
-fuck da cowgirls
December 12th, 2008 at 11:41 am
could it be there’s a Cowboy that i actually like? Marion the Barbarian indeed!
December 12th, 2008 at 11:44 am
(mouth flies open and stays open)
MB3…may I just say…I want you to play for my team.
Holee shat! That was epic!
I will fucking run through the goddamn River Styx to win a game! You gotta tear my fucking dick off to keep me off that field.
Now why can’t I have football players of this ilk on my Saints team?!!!
December 12th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Let’s all give Wade a slow clap
December 12th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Best. Episode. Ever.
And +1 for Scrapple Martin.
December 12th, 2008 at 11:57 am
Wade’s revenge! There is no way in Hades MBIII knows what the River Styx is.
December 12th, 2008 at 11:57 am
Finally someone in Dallas has balls!
December 12th, 2008 at 11:57 am
Arguably the most fulfilling thing I’ve read all year.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Best Wade and Jerry I’ve seen in a long time. MB3 is a badass motherfucker.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
For some reason, I can’t imagine (door files open) as suitable for MB3, seeing how he runs into defenders like they’re not actual human beings that can hit back. I see his entrance as more of (door disintegrates into shards of wood and dust).
December 12th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
MBIII can not be fucked with. I can’t wait til Wade works up the nerve to take a shit on Jerry Jones’ desk.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Man…these Wade and Jerry episodes make the loss of Firejoemorgan a lot easier to handle.
Agreed on Scrapple Martin…phenomenal.
More kudos to Drew on the Guac recipe from last year’s Super Bowl Jambaroo. I’m using it regularly, and it’s changed my life.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
I may be a huge Giants fan, but we could use another running back to plow through defenses once Jacobs inevitably falls apart. MB3 is welcome on my team anytime. And this Wade and Jerry is now my 2nd most favorite episode ever (behind the shooting of Jason Garrett following the playoff loss to the G-men).
And did anyone else suddenly get a massive craving for Oreos?
December 12th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
If only Barber didn’t play for the Cowboys…
it’ll be the last thing you say before I drive a GODDAMN motorcycle up your CHICKEN FRIED ASSHOLE.
Goddamn that was fucking awesome. I am so happy for Wade. And I hope the Giants kick your dick in.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
I’m not sure if this sort of post really belongs on KSK. On the one hand, it’s fucking hilarious and incredibly entertaining. But on the other hand, it has almost nothing to do with the Pittsburgh Steelers.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
/slow clap
December 12th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
So glad to see Wade grow a pair…and what an entrance by MBIII…well done BDD.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! ain’t no country I ever heard of!
December 12th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
{{{STANDING OVATION}}}
That was great. Marion the Barbarian running shit up da hizzee!!! It’s about time Wade got some payback on Princeton boy there. And JJ deserves a big plate of STFU for questioning MBIII’s toughness.
/just the right amount of motherfuckers by the way.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Best episode ever…when is this gonna be on HBO?
BTW…TO and his soiled maxipad….best line ever.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I cant wait to see Garrett, Double J, Pacman, Whitten, and possibly Romo come back with a vengance against MBIII and Phat Phuck Phillips.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
EXCEL-FUCKING-LENT!!!
December 12th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
“He gon make dat pussy drool.”
That line made me both laugh and puke in my garbage can. Good. Job.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Today is now a great day, and I owe it all to a man named Marion.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
I like that Marion doesnt understand Pacman, at all.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
So I see MBIII, and my first thought is “Men in Black 3? That doesn’t make any sense…”
It’s friday.
Marion is a welcome addition to this little soiree.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
You gotta tear my fucking dick off to keep me off that field
So, seeing as how he wasn’t on the field, I’m guessing Marion is now Marina?
December 12th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
When the surreal becomes real, what is surreal?
This.
/applause
December 12th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
@The Virgin Connie Swayle: You’re right. Fixed.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
These things have actually made me feel bad for Wade Phillips. If enough league owners and GM’s read this site (which I’m sure they do) Wade will have no problem getting a job after he gets fired in 3 weeks.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
this is the best wade/jerry post this year
Fix the goddamn offense, or else that faggot ass TO throws his soiled maxipads in the middle of the GODDAMN LOCKER ROOM!
–classic
December 12th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
It’s about time someone called out Pacman for not making any fucking sense. Next episode should include him in a neckbrace.
December 12th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
/COMEUPPANCE!
Just when I thought these were starting to get a little formulaic…..BAM!
December 12th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
how much would you say wade phillips weighs: around 300 or a round 300
December 12th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Awesome, simply awesome. The JJ/Wade posts were starting to get a little monotonous, but this one was incredible. I had to try really hard not to laugh out loud, so mostly I just sat there grinning like an idiot. Great job.
December 12th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
I like that it took this to reveal that Marion Barber was the best Cowboy. He’s been that way since the Testaverde days. Y’all were just too entranced by ESPN to notice.
At least the writers of KSK actually watch a goddamn game.
December 12th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Bitchbizkit’s with Pacman!!!!
December 12th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
This is a true underdog story, when is ESPN going to buy the rights to this?
December 12th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
That was even better than Gay Zorro.
Now if you can only have MB3 and Wade kill Jerry, Pac, and TO (preferably in real life).
December 12th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
“MBIII: Call my ass SIR, MOTHERFUCKER!”
Beauty.
December 12th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Marion the Barbarian is indeed one bad motherfucker! I still get half a chub watching that block he made on Hard Knocks, and I hate the Cowboys.
December 12th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Pacman down wid it, and Pacman gon shine
December 12th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I think everyone had high hopes when Wade and JJ had their little back and forth over MBIII, but this topped all expectations. I rarely laugh out loud while sitting alone in my apartment (except while masturbating), but this one did it.
/Rode MBIII to fantasy playoffs
//had a first round bye while he was benched
December 12th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Outstanding episode!!! Thank God for MBIII, and great entrance. Best episode all season, hands down.
“I’m out there stiffarming motherfuckers, and this asshole’s talkin’ about PUSSYJOOSE! WHAT THE FUCK?”
What the fuck indeed.
December 12th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
On a team with Romo’s pinky, TO’s sandy vagina, Tank’s firearms, and Pacman’s billfold; JJ singles out Barber’s toe? Get the fuck out.
December 12th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Let’s face it…it’s the hot seat down in Big D and Jerry isn’t too far off from being the next Al Davis. Plus, you have the meltdown going with TO…he sees the writing on the wall and decides to be a part of the problem and not the solution. Sad. All that talent…
HH@showoffsports.com
December 12th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Wade’s too big to drop a deuce on his desk…it should be an epic event like the pie-eating contest from the movie “Stand By Me”. Wade should down a case of Oreos and 2 meat-lover’s pizzas chased with a quart of Red Bull mixed with cod liver oil & let fly on Jerry’s desk, preferably into his lap
TomahawkFlop Says:
MBIII can not be fucked with. I can’t wait til Wade works up the nerve to take a shit on Jerry Jones’ desk.
December 12th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
MB3 my favorite player, he’s been on my fantasy team for three years and I have his jersey in both white and blue. This is the greatest blog post I’ve EVER READ. And I almost spewed Starbucks all over the place at this:
“Motherfucker, I GOTTA HEAR ABOUT THAT SHIT! Fix the goddamn offense, or else that faggot ass TO throws his soiled maxipads in the middle of the GODDAMN LOCKER ROOM! FIX IT OR MBIII WILL DROWN A BITCH!”
Although he’s my fave and appears to be a genuinely nice dude, I’d not want to piss him the fuck off.
December 12th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Nice job of pretending that you don’t have a huge collection of high-res Oreo porn btw…
December 12th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
“Ah, Marion! Marion, my good man! How are you? Did you have a good EATING today?!”
Upon further review, this is my favorite line, right down to the mental picture of Garrett’s neck veins and teeth being prominently displayed during the precisely enunciated delivery of the word “EATING.”
December 12th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
This might be my favorite W&J yet.
December 12th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
I hope TO will call Marion Baber a pussy next. I’d love to see MB3 unleash on that fucker.
December 12th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Christmas came early!
December 12th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Jerry Jones getting owned = best day ever.
December 12th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
FIX YO OFFENSE!!
Just not this week. Try some stupid triple option bullshit that gets Homo hurt this week. Then FIX YO OFFENSE!
December 12th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
@TT’s boy –
How dare you make a statement that “MB3 and Wade kill Jerry, Pac, and TO (preferably in real life).” How DARE you think those thoughts … and not include Romo and the Garrett Brothers.
December 12th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Marion could be the black version of R Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket: “Garrett, you best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!!*”
*Or, now that Najeh is back in the league, have najeh shit down the neck as a stand-in. Guy’s a fucking expert.
December 12th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Fucking masterpiece, Drew.
December 13th, 2008 at 1:09 am
I absolutely live for these Wade and Jerry posts. They never disappoint…big props to KSK for keeping the funny coming every single damn time!
December 13th, 2008 at 1:30 am
Marion Barber III. Wayzata, Minnesota. Fuck Yeah.
December 13th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
As a true ‘Skins fan, should I be bothered that my newest favorite KSKharacter is an a$$ kicking, take no prisoners Cowboy that will drown a bitch? Maj, can I get a ruling on this?
//Bra-fucking-vo, BDD. Well done.
December 13th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
/backs up chair
//stands
//claps
But there has to be a more bad-ass picture of Barber somewhere
December 13th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Another stupid ass attempt from a hater to bash the Boys. Does skimp balless run this site? I know all the characters in your little skit personally and they don’t use that kind of language. ASSHOLES!
December 13th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Made myself laugh again. DICKHEADS!
December 13th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Friendly Weekly Reminder. KSN is loaded with a bunch of foul mouth motherfucking cocksuckers.
December 13th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
I shan’t let you get away with bashing the Boys without at least my retort. Cumbubble.
December 13th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
As I said above, a simple google search reveals this
http://www.yardbarker.com/m/13751/xl/Marion_Barber.jpg
/cowers in fear
December 15th, 2008 at 12:19 am
What the fuck is KSN? Kissing Scott Norwood?
December 15th, 2008 at 1:10 am
How did u guess zit cream seller
December 15th, 2008 at 1:13 am
How bout them COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!