The Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week: Week 17
It’s over. After 17 weeks of bliss and horror the regular season has gone dark like the deepest recesses of Peter King’s capacious colon. For some, like the tortured soul seen above, the end is a welcome one. Of course for others, let’s say those living in New England, the end is unbearable. Then there are those like me whose teams finished somewhere in the neighborhood of .500. Sure we’ll miss watching our favorite team week after week, but frankly we could probably use a break from one another. At least until they draft somewhere in the middle of the first round come April.
In the meantime those of us not fortunate enough to have a rooting interest in the playoffs can just sit back and watch as other fanbases come crashing back down to our level like so many of Tarvaris Jackson’s ill-fated heaves. But before we get too excited over the playoffs we have to take care of some lingering business. So continue after the jump for the regular season’s final Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week.
This week’s Meast is a familiar site to anyone who knows their end-of-season football, the famed signal caller of the Indianapolis Colts. That tall and graceful slinger of the ball, who under the right circumstances could win the MVP every year. I’m speaking of course of the single greatest quarterback in the history of the NFL’s largely meaningless 17th week, Jim Sorgi.
Sorgi stepped in yet again when Peyton Manning couldn’t be troubled to finish things out, and he delivered with 22 completions on 30 attempts for a total of 178 yards.
It should be noted that Drew voted for Chad Pennington as this week’s Meast, but we all suspect that has more to do more with his insatiable lust for curly blond pubic hair than anything the quarterback has done on the field.
Image via Flickr
Tags: Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week, Unsilent Majority, Was your player of choice not named Meast? Does this upset you? Kill yourself
December 30th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Michael Bush for his attempt to relegate Run DMC to “Bitch” status.
/looking for a noose
December 30th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Bull. Shit. The Meast of the Week is Brian Dawkins. Five tackles, one sack, two forced fumbles and one Tony Romo crying like a bitch.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Chris Clemons and the pieface from hell – Meastacular.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
FAHK YOU KSK! CASS-UHL IS THE ONLY BACKUP QB! NO ONE DENIES THIS! SAHRGI CAN LICK MY FAT CAHK!
December 30th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Gay.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
MAJ SUCKS CAWK! NO ONE DENIES THIS!
December 30th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Haha, yes. Sorgi FTW. Suck it.
/ducks
December 30th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
I voted for Pennington, too, but Maj was the only one willing to write the post. So there you go.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Still looks like a drowned rat.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Alright then, where do flubby and Ape and MMP come down? I see a du-el of honor!
I saw no games besides Marmalard and Poutydouchetastic Cutler. Oh, and a tiny view of the Iggles romp from so far away I could not see shit. Does the sad dance of Donovan count?
December 30th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
I voted for James Harrison. SO WHAT IF HE DIDN’T PLAY!? Peter King reported he likes Family Guy. I love badass linebackers who like shows that stopped being funny years ago.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
I like people who take made-up awards way too seriously.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
IT’S SORGI TIME!
Jim Sorgi is just good enough in week 17 ever year for Colts fans to go “If Manning ever goes down, we could win 6-10 games with this guy” even though we all know in our hearts that if Manning ever goes down, we’re all jumping off the nearest building. Or, at the very least, going back to caring more about high school basketball than pro football. Unless he starts winning. Then we’ll stay interested. We’re not a very loyal bunch.
I often wonder if Sorgi finishes other things for Peyton too. Like, when Peyton has intercourse (and yes, it is intercourse) with his wife, does Sorgi come in at the end and finish her off? Is he shaky at first but then gets into a rhythm and finishes strong? Does Peyton leave a little food on his plate, and then Sorgi comes along and drops the silverware but gets a new set and finishes the plate?
However, Sorgi was pretty measty this week. 23-0 over the Titans who were playing starters throughout the whole game? That’s pretty badass.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Kid of Steel?
December 30th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Fuck the Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week! Cock!
My whole life is shattered. Thanks, KSK.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
THE MEAST IS NOT MADE UP
ask Marshawn Lynch.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
However, Sorgi was pretty measty this week. 23-0 over the Titans who were playing starters throughout the whole game? That’s pretty badass.
/sigh
December 30th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I can’t tell where Sorgi’s jersey ends and his arms begin. Wow
December 30th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
I vote for Tony Romo. DID YOU SEE THE WAY HE HIT THAT GROUND?!
December 30th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Michael Bush, FTW. Eat shit and die, Gruden.
December 30th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
The fuck’s a Sorgi? Doesn’t he play for the Maple Leafs?
December 30th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Nice shot of Manning-ass in the background there… but I can’t see the laser-rocket-arm
December 30th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Jim Sorgi molests collies! NO ONE DENIES THIS!
December 30th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
How is the Meast not the slippery substance in the Dallas locker room/shower stall?
December 30th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
The meast of the week is obviously Jesus Christ, who in his infinite mercy, decided to fuck the Cowboys, Patriots and Brett Favre all in one day.
He is truly the son of a wrathful, angry God.
December 30th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
@ smeos
I agree, but don’t forget, a J-O-O wrote this post.
December 30th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Any chance we can come up with some Sorgi-esque noun, like Volektricity?
December 30th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
My vote would have went with Bush or Dawkins, but no one gives a shit about my vote.
On a side note I can’t wait to hear God (Jooish or other) explain what we did to deserve all the joy he bestowed upon us in Week 17.
THANKS LORD!
December 30th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
@Matt’s
The Sorgi-est?
December 30th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Speaking of meast, has anybody seen the original meast doing analysis on ESPN? I find him to be surprisingly bearable and intelligible.
December 30th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
WTF? How could you not name Jesus as the meast this week? God is going to be pissed.
December 30th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Monkey Buisiness you are truly talking out of your ass,im a titans fan and had no fucking idea who these jerkoffs on the field were wearing the blue jerseys. Playing most of their starters? your a fucking jackass,Vince Young is no longer the starter numbnuts. this game showed one thing…..the titans backups FUCKING SUCK! so when my friends always ask me why im nervous before a titans game,THATS ONE OF THE REASONS,in addition to still not trusting kerry collins,cringing every time chris johnson gets tackled wondering if his narrow ass is gonna get up (if he goes down,we are fucked. it was the rookie,not the old drunk from under the bridge that was key to this offenses success),and why im nervous before the playoffs? 1.Baltimore Ravens 2. Indianoplis Colts 3. A Bitter Pittsburgh…..in that order…..but on sorgi,they showed his wife thru most of the game…..odd looking couple i tell ya…..
December 30th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
@Chris Johnson: pssst… I think you forgot a NO ONE DENIES THIS! in there somewhere. Rookie mistake.
December 30th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
no one denies what,that there is a distinct possibility the titans dont get to the conference championship? i dont. thats what im saying,i dont trustmy team at all. did you see how sad the backups were. im no tommy,sorry. i love to pick apart the titans and find out why they suck,and i like them. fucked up isnt it?
December 30th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
dont worry,when it gets to the “haters guide…” for the titans,i will do a long detailed post as to why they suck. just for you
December 30th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Is there anything good going on in Detroit right now? Seriously, why would anyone live there?
December 30th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Dawk. Seriously. Dawk is the Meast. Dawk is the Meast of Forever in Perpetuity. Dawk is the only player I will go to Canton for to be there for his inauguration (well, him and Westbrook, should he get in… probably not for W-Brook though). Seriously.
No, seriously. Dawk. He would eat Jim Sorgi’s soul and wash it down with his blood.
December 30th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
@westbrook:eat his soul and wash it down with his blood?fucking GREAT! yea,probly dawkins because even with that 98 (?) yd fumble return td,i believe it was again dawkins causing the fumble
December 30th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
@It’s so Cold in the D: Windsor?
December 30th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
Its Sorgasmic!
January 1st, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Holy crap, I think the kicker has bigger arms than Sorgi.