Oh, famous polln stall Risa Ann! I such big fan! You pray Salah Payrin in Hines #1 bukkake crip! I lub one out to you rong time! I rike it when you get big creampie! It Hines favollet kind of pie! Oooooh, hairpie!

pic courtesy of reader Don S.

Bet Lisa wasn’t feeling so hot today, though. Know what might cheer her up?

Our long-awaited Marmalard-Cutlerfucker showdown was lacking in histronics or even a competitive game, but nbc was sure to show Jay in all his dour glory. You know, Tony Romo, for all his shower-collapsing antics, gets all the credit for being a December and January choke artist, but Cutlerfucker is every bit his equal in that regard, as Denver is 5-9 the last three Decembers.

After the jump is a little illustarted story to accompany the 30,000 shots of Cutlerfucker moping, with some bonus boobage for your trouble.
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Allow me to join this dogpile of rubbing in it. What a stupendous day of football.

UPDATE: we hear Romo doesn’t just collapse on the field– apparently he does it in the shower too.

[ image: Threadbombing ]

PICK WHERE? Suicide Poolers: If you made a pick anywhere in the Sunday open threads before your game kicked off, you’re good. Update coming Thursday.

Can Marmalard and his merry band of supersoldiers steal away a division title that looked unimaginable only a few weeks ago? For whatever reason nobody counted on yet another late-season Denver implosion to give them a shot, but here we are. The winner gets to host Indy next week, which means Pey-Pey will be mouthing off to the area hotel staff. Do you really want to subject them to that? My guess is Denver does not.

Favre sits out his last snap ever? After throwing an illegal forward lateral on his last play?

This day is spec-fucking-tacular.

WE DID NAWT DESERVE THIS! FIND THE DAHKIE THAT STOLE OW-UH PLAYAWFF SPAWT! FACK YOU AWL!!!

The Cowboys are in the process of being, to quote Emmitt Smiff, “blowed out.” Ben Roethlisberger was hurt (grrrr), the Patriots are on the verge of being eliminated with an 11-5 record. The Bucs lost to the Raiders. Detroit is 0-16. And the era of Favre is drawing to a close.

The Raiders suck and my fantasy teams were even worse. At this point, all I have is rooting against the Cowboys. Under normal circumstances I couldn’t care less about the fortunes of the Iggles. But with Dallas’ playoff hopes hanging in the balance, Cowboy-haters worldwide are coalescing to throw their support behind Andy Reid’s Butthash Huffing All-Stars.

Sure, I hate the Patriots too. But that is a fairly recent hatred (tuck rule). My Cowboys hatred has been boiling for decades and takes complete precedence. Therefore, as I write this (12:30 p.m. EST) I hereby make this bargain with the cosmos: keep the Cowboys out and I’ll be content to let the Pats-Dolphins-Jets chips fall as they may.

In other action, Baltimore is playing for their playoff future against the Jags. Seahawks-Cardinals hook up in an old-fashioned shitshow for regional viewers. Lastly we have the Irrelevancy Bowl: will the Skins be able to tank for draft position or will Mike Martz’s sabotage attempts give the 49er’s a hard-earned loss?

[ Reminder: SNF live blog for tonight's San Diego-Denver play-in game. It's a holiday miracle. ]