KSK Movie Review: ESPN’s “The Greatest Game Ever Played”
like Shia playing the Alan “The Horse” Ameche character. Am I right?
ESPN is debuting a new original movie Saturday night called “The Greatest Game Ever Played.” It’s a story of two fictional pro football teams set back in the 1950’s. ESPN was gracious enough to give us an advance screening, and here is a spoiler-free review so you can decide for yourself if it’s worth checking out.
One of the teams is the Giants, an obvious attempt to draw that huge New York metropolitan area demographic. The other squad is a team called the “Baltimore Colts”. I hate movies where they don’t want to shell out the money to get the rights to a real team and you have to suspend belief for a couple hours by pretending there is really teams called the Washington Sentinels or the Miami Sharks. “Baltimore Colts” just sounds sooooo made up.
Anyway, the thing I liked about this movie is that it’s long on game sequences and short on plot development. Anymore they want to saddle sports movies with some dopey romantic interest to garner female viewers. Not this one though it’s mostly just game action and pretty realistic game action at that. However, the casting decisions are somewhat dubious; a speedy receiver with big play ability named “Raymond Berry” is played by a white guy? Are you kidding me? The role was obviously written for the black fellow on “Scrubs”.
Sure the ending is a tad predictable and formulaic; after all this is a Disney production. But overall, it’s an entertaining little flick that would have benefited from a less grandiose title. Any real “greatest game ever played” would necessarily be heralded by two helmets smashing together in an orgiastic explosion of light and sound. There would also have to be CGI robots doing the cabbage patch and blabbering oafs wandering the sideline. Perhaps a better title would be “Not the Greatest Game Ever Play But Still A Good Way to Kill Time Until the Klitschko-Rahman Fight Starts.”
This week, we’re holding the second annual KsK Kares Kharity Drive for Fisher House, which helps build temp housing for disabled veterans and their families. You can donate directly to FH here.
Tags: bad MS Paint, football isn’t football without black linebackers
December 12th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Turk Turkleton would have made an awesome “Raymond Berry”.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Keep up the B-More hate and Lord Calvert is going to have a problem here
December 12th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Even more outrageous is that they actually expect us to believe that the guy that married Kathy Lee Gifford played football. Fucking Disney.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
What to watch
Greatest Game Ever Played.
or.
Ultimate Fighter Finale.
Hmmm.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Rahman will have hired and fired two more trainers before halftime.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Wasn’t the game taped? Why did they need to make a movie of something that exists in its entirety in the same medium, or does this version have some extra boobies thrown in for watchability?
December 12th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
spoiler alert: this game is mentioned in the movie “Diner”
December 12th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
I realize ESPN is going for the period look, but c’mon, get some better cameras
December 12th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
@Donald Igwebuike
Well, there’s one.
December 12th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
“football isn’t football without black linebackers”
The stabbier the better, I say.
December 12th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
why don’t they come up with a new title? Hasn’t that “greatest game ever played” already been taken for that really boring golf movie with Shia ladouche? Isn’t the whole “That was the GREATEST” line played out all ready?? Or maybe we can all pretend that movie was never made and delete it from existence since it really wasn’t the “greatest” anyways. If they make a movie about “GREAT” games, and the movie sucks does that make the history invalid?
December 12th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
You know, this movie would have been much more believavble if the New York Giants were playing the Los Angeles Stallions. Now that’s a name a real football fan can get behind.
What the fuck is a Baltimore Colt? It’s not like they race actual horses in Baltimore. I call shenanigans.
December 12th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
You know, this movie would have been much more believavble if the New York Giants were playing the Los Angeles Stallions. Now that’s a name a real football fan can get behind.
How about the Los Angeles GALAXY
December 12th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
The moral of the movie is like the old George Santayana quote, “Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to read about it on a dick-joke-making-NFL blog.” Or something like that.
December 12th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
I love where these koments are headed!
December 12th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Greg, Greg, Greg. What the FUCK are you doing? Alluding to an insightful early 20th century aphorism — authored by a brilliant Spanish-born, Harvard educated homosexual philosopher — on an NFL-themed dick-joke-making blog? On Sexy Friday no less?
Talk about matter and anti-matter coming together.
December 12th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
“Greatest Blog Ever Kommented On” ?
not so much
December 12th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Suck it L.A. – we got the Dolphins AND the Sharks.
And LLcoolJ.
December 12th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
From the look of the turf in that pic, it would appear that they are playing the Greatest Game Evah at Heinz Field.
December 12th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Fank Gifford is played by Ben Afflek…..
December 13th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Emlen Tunnell? Weeb Ewbank? Whoever came up with these names surely deserves to be fired.
December 14th, 2008 at 3:31 am
Get a life, honkies!!!
December 14th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
““Baltimore Colts” just sounds sooooo made up.”
Um, actually, the Baltimore Colts were a real team in the 1950s. Read up on your football history before you rant.