Jeff George Memorial Least Of The Week – Week 15
As you may have surmised, I’m the sort of person who delights in negativity. I’d far rather read a Worst Movies of 2008 list than a Best Movies of 2008 list. Oh, you liked “The Dark Knight”? Well, no shit, asshole. So did everyone else. Tell me more about what made “Witless Protection” a festering cinematic abortion. I’m not interested in hearing you lavish praise on a bunch of already overpraised actors and directors. I demand BILE. AND BITTERNESS. AND HATEFUL INVECTIVE. I cannot get enough of people talking about how much something or someone blows. It’s a weakness.
So it is in that spirit (and in the spirit of this entire site, really) that I present you with our new weekly award, the Least of the Week. We already have the Meast of the Week for players and/or concealed weapons that have demonstrated excellence in the field of FUCKING SHIT UP on any given week.
But we’ve long needed a flipside to that coin, an award for the week’s biggest piece of pussified tampon lint. There are many great players in this league. But there are also many who deserve nothing less than our most bitter scorn. Players who are little more than douchetastic, short-arming little twatgoblins. They deserve our recognition as well, so that we might cruelly mock them until their reputation and sense of self-worth have all but evaporated. Nice.
But who to name it after? Well, the Meast was first named after Steve Irwin, who never hesitated to jump into an open crocodile mouth for no reason other than for my fleeting entertainment. Then I think we named it after Bill Walsh for a week. Then Kevin Everett. And then, of course, the original meast Sean Taylor, who will hold the name of the award forever more.
So I think whoever we name this award after needs to embody the very opposite elements of meastiness. He must be whiny, and afraid of contact, and underperforming, and easy for us to baselessly accuse of homosexuality. I’d like to name this award after Brett Favre, but since I loathe the very idea of typing his name every week, let’s go with Jeff George! Look at that throwing motion. He may as well be a waiter in Key West.
Your Jeff George Least of the Week for Week 15 is Reggie Bush, who injured himself by avoiding contact last week and is now out for the year. Pussy.
Congratulations, Reggie. You’re a flaming gash. I hope you suffocate while trying to give your girlfriend analingus.
NOTE: Tomorrow is mailbag day, fuckos. Send in all your fantasy football/sex advice questions quick as you can.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, jeff george memorial least of the week, should have done this ages ago, would have gone to TO last week
December 17th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Drew, you should’ve used “suffocation while performing analingus on Kim Kardashian” as the suicide method of the week. I pray that I will go that way.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Uh-oh. The name of this award is sure to piss off Mr. I-played-football-at-Ball-State-and-I-will-work-that-fact-into-everything-I-write. He will sit on all of you.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
@B.D.D.
Give credit where it is due. Commenter “G.G.” coined the title Brian Russell “Least” of the Week last week…
Fighting plagiarism one blog-post at a time.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
The Red Sox cap alone is reason enough to declare Reggie Bush Queen Pussy of the Week
December 17th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Did somebody have Reggie Bush on their fantasy team?
Even if that is the case, he is still a pussy.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Jason Whitlock was so upset about the name of the award he almost choked on his vat of country gravy.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Reggie Bush hopes to be as good as Eric Metcalf some day. What an overrated POS.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
And we need an update on Brian Russell’s performance on Sunday. That is a tradition worth keeping.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Fuck, I wish I would have known Whitlock went to Ball State. Or maybe I’m grateful – it’s hard to say.
In any event, apologies, Deeznutz.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Does this mean Jeff George is dead? If he is, a lot of NFL fans can uncross their fingers.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
The Saints have become the Air Coryell Chargers of this generation. What a waste of Brees talent. The Saints should just trade Reggie back to USC.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Reggie Bush is as appropriate of an inaugural choice for this award as Sean Taylor was for the first Meast. Hopefully one day when Reggie Bush passes away from an unfortunate self-inflicted cuticle injury, the Reggie Bush Memorial Least of the Week will have as good of a ring to it as we all expect it to.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Chad Pennington wins the award in 3…, 2…,
December 17th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
If my girlfriend looked like that, I’d suffer a season-ending injury to free up my Sundays
December 17th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Dan Orlovsky
Willis McGahee
Lee Evans
December 17th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
How dare you?! I cannot believe this…this…this…drivel!!! Reggie had 30 key yards in that loss to Chicago! He cheered for the team while trying to fight off the medical staff that wanted him nailed to the bench!!
/back to reality
All I can say is: How can the inaugural Least of the Week not go to the Detroit Lions (the whole damn team)?
December 17th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Can we retroactively give the Least of the Week to Brian Russel for every week of the season until now?
December 17th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Braylon Edwards is gonna bitch about this slight.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
What about Eli Manning?? I had Pierre Thomas AND Berrian start last week and I still fucking lost Fantasy football all because that piece of shit can’t manage to throw ONE freaking touchdown pass.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Reggie, you’re really not helping your cause with the Red Sox hat.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Somewhere not far off, Rick Mirer discovers his true beckoning…
December 17th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
as a seahawks fan, i agree that brian russell is complete horseshit. HOWEVER, as the criteria states, the winner must be a pussy that avoids contact. bri-bri LOVES contact. he just loves it too late, usually when a player is already tackled 30 yards downfield. but, boy, does that kid love to jump on the pile late and be on the tv…..
December 17th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Never trust a man with two first names.
December 17th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Frank Zappa approves of twatgoblins, though I think he spelled it with two b’s.
December 17th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Jeff George is dead? Who got the bounty?
December 17th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
J.P. Losman? Seriously, how did you pass that up? Not as high profile as Bush, but probably the only player this week to single-handedly blow the game for his team.
Also, how does Lee Evans qualify? He can’t disappoint if he’s never thrown the ball.
December 17th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
LaDanian Tomlinson is gonna be pissed. He’s been emulating Bush’s “Looking for a soft place to fall down/Where the fuck is the sideline” running style all season and Reggie takes home the award for biggest vag.
Honorable mention: Dre Bly. What a unredeemable pile of suck he is. Suck the steam off my shit, you worthless cuntrag.
December 17th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
you know how i know you’re gay?
you said “bri-bri”
December 17th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
What the fuck is tweltfth?
December 17th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
typo.. better now? ok now go fuck yourself.
December 17th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
an award for the week’s biggest piece of pussified tampon lint
That’s inspired work, sir. I love this feature already.
December 17th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Definitely like the “Least of the Week” feature (although I still prefer “Yeast”, as in “infection”, as in “this player is such a pussy he has a yeast infection”)
Russel forced a fumble so he wasn’t a totally useless infected twat this week.
December 17th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Kardashians and USC running backs- the new Skull & Bones?
December 17th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
In Reggie Bush’s defense, he avoided the tackler because he looked like Kourtney Kardashian.
December 17th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Ahh, Jeff George…
Will that name ever be unfunny? I think not.
December 17th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
….and the winner of feast of the week goes to……….Shaun Rogers of the Cleveland Browns, Cleveland, Ohio, Uni…….Milky Way.
December 17th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
I’m just gonna throw this out there, mock if you must: For people who supposedly like pussy so much, you sure do have some unkind things to say about it (by implication). “pussified tampon lint,” “douchetastic,” “twatgoblins”
I’m not saying don’t use pussy-specific insults, just sayin’, throw more penis-specific and/or gender-neutral ones in there. Festering anal wart. Inflamed ingrown ass hair. Pus-filled penis. Impacted colon. Shit like that.
Just a suggestion. I think a wider variety of invective would improve the quality of the bile. I love me some bile.
December 18th, 2008 at 12:01 am
Troy Williamson would like to protest his slight by displaying his lifetime achievement stats.
And he would like to be referred to as “smegma from an infected foreskin”.
/How’s that Slash?
December 18th, 2008 at 12:05 am
Fucking A, Yeah, right? !
“Smegma” is such a disgusting word. I’m actually picturing it now. Gross…
December 18th, 2008 at 2:15 am
Please, please have a Jeff George Memorial Least of the Year Award.
And please give it to Norv “The Neck” Turner.
December 18th, 2008 at 2:44 am
slash is fuckin gay hahaha no homo son why not talk about pussy no matter how you use it you talkin bout puss filled dicks thats some homo ass shit man
December 18th, 2008 at 8:58 am
slash is fuckin gay hahaha no homo son why not talk about pussy no matter how you use it you talkin bout puss filled dicks thats some homo ass shit man
Could someone please turn on the Emmiff Smiff translator for us who don’t understand retard?
December 18th, 2008 at 9:40 am
@ TDub:
‘Sall good. This site has given me so much (boners on Friday), I am honored.
Now as for the inevitable Whitlock backlash…it’s like TWO Christmases!
December 18th, 2008 at 9:43 am
Could someone please turn on the Emmiff Smiff translator for us who don’t understand retard?
Even funnier — if I’m remembering correctly, slash is a lady.
December 18th, 2008 at 9:58 am
I believe you are CO-rect Otto!
December 18th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Daunte Culpeeper wants the award given to him retroactively for weeks 10, 11, 12, 13 and 14
December 18th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Reggie is crying, right on the face of Kim Kardashian before he goes R Kelly/Ray Jay on her.
December 18th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Reggie is crying, in the arms of Kim Kardashian before he goes R Kelly/Ray Jay on her.
December 18th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Slash is a lady so I believe bigdaddyperotta can go back to the RealTalkNY site and never, ever, evahevahevahevahevah, come back to KSK again with that horse shit.
December 18th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Detiot doesn’t qualify cause Rod’s shovel is sharp and his will is outstanding. At least they’re trying. Not so much for most of the Bills players, except Beast Mode.
December 18th, 2008 at 11:29 am
BEEF MOE like beeg Kardasstian sistah!
December 18th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Yeah the Lions are trying because who the hell wants to go 0-16…at least the Bills have 5 good weeks of real football (and hope)…The Lions season ended after week 2. I am still pissed.
oh and Daunte is dedicating his next soft lob to the other team to KSK this week, alright Lions :(
December 18th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Jerry Jones votes for Marion Barber and his little piggy toe
December 18th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Clearly, it should be named the “Ryan Leaf” award.
Whiner? Check.
Douchebag? Check.
Worthless on a football field. Check, check and check!
December 19th, 2008 at 1:08 am
Ah, shit. He WAS leading the league in touchdowns before he got hurt the first time. I’d also like to note that Chicago changed their field conditions (not sodding the outside) specifically because they were afraid of him, which really makes that garbage franchise the only one to specifically alter their playing conditions for a Least of the Week, not counting when the Vikes failed to re-sod the tunnel for Dan Olovsky.