If T.O. is Uh Distraction, The Jints Are Uh Lock to Win, AM I RIGHT?

Courtesy Deadspin Weekend (click it or Maj will throw a Redskins-losing-to-the-Bengals-sized fit) is Cowboy Chris “getting in the head” of Ed Werder for the ESPN reporter’s habit of spreading lying lies that aren’t true about Dallas. Shouldn’t Mort really be the target of that sort of heckling? One day Cowboy Chris will track down the Dallas Deep Throat in an Arlington parking garage (Texas instead of Virginia this time, I guess) and get the answers he wants.

Just as the Giants were poised to be the team in the NFC East to collapse down the stretch thanks to an asinine controversy, the wheels are coming off the ‘Boys bandwagon by virtue of the usual assortment of T.O. backbiting and ineffectual coaching. Not quite as hilarious on its face as Plaxico shooting himself in the leg, but it has a heart-warming familiarity to it, like a chestnut of a holiday song.

But no, say Cowboy fans! It’s all an ESPN-manufactured controversy!

T.O. would never throw one of his own under the bus! Just like Peyton Manning would never cast all the blame on his linemen when the Colts lose. Careful, though, Dallas fans. Here’s what happens when reporters fight back.

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24 Responses to “If T.O. is Uh Distraction, The Jints Are Uh Lock to Win, AM I RIGHT?”

  1. Mo Charlo Says:

    Cowboy Chris should’ve thrown his shoes at Ed Werder.

  2. georger Says:

    Pop quiz: who made this statement about the Cowboys five minutes ago

    “potential. all about the potential. this is why Vegas is in love with them. when all the players are healthy, and the team isnt fighting … i dont know if there’s a more talented team in the NFL. more talent than Tenn. maybe not the Giants. Chargers are there. not talking about what these teams have done, sheer talent. (and we all know talent doesnt win games, luck does!)”

  3. robocats Says:

    There’s a certain number of syllables you can have in a shouted comment without sounding fucking retarded. He exceeded it on many occassions.

    There’s also the certain amount of times that you can say something without sounding like Rain Man, and a certain number of minutes you can stand in the street yelling comments without seeming like an unemployed Cowboy fan. Again, he passes with flying colors.

  4. placekickerholder Says:

    You’re a hack, Ape! Trans-Siberian Orchestra? That’s not even a real orchestra! You’re a hack!

  5. Slothrop Says:

    you know who’s a fuckin hack? The ref in the Steelers’ game, tha’s who. Youz guys knows what I’m talkin about, right? What a fuckin jerkoff, right? I lost three bills on that game cause of that guy. Ahright I’m gonna bang some sluts to Eli owning this sorry Cowgirls team. what a bunch of jerkoffs. Amirite?

  6. Slothrop Says:

    Romo’s back is brought to you by Aunt Anne’s Pretzels.

  7. skc Says:

    don’t think romo will make it to the second half….

  8. Slothrop Says:

    oh hells yeah on the ginger cowgirl.

  9. Everett M. God Emperor of SC Says:

    HOW ‘BOUT THEM (DELUSIONAL) COWBOYS??!?

    Haha….ah ignorance…..

    And I thought they had better aim in Iraq?

    Damn…..you learn something everyday…

  10. Otto Man Says:

    I mean, who throws a shoe? Honestly!

  11. Broseph Stalin Says:

    Ware! Where?!

  12. Slothrop Says:

    The Gambler makes a mean chicken.

  13. DeepFriar Says:

    The Yankees just signed the shoe thrower for 5 years, 42 million

  14. porky1 Says:

    Consider yourself fortunate, America. Eddie Murphy’s mother would have scored a clean hit with that shoe.

  15. H Cuz Says:

    The Giants have the look of a team that’s going to be one-and-done in the playoffs.

  16. Daydream Billiever Says:

    can the Giants pull this out of their ass?

  17. Devine Says:

    @H Cuz: Depends on the matchup, but if they don’t have a healthy Jacobs and O-line, you may be right. The defense just isn’t good enough to hold a legit offense below 21 points, and if they can’t pound the rock and open up play-action, I’d be very surprised if they can up more than three touchdowns in a playoff game.

  18. Devine Says:

    @Daydream Billiever: Call me a pessimist, but I don’t think so. With the amount of time they’ve got left, they’re gonna have to get 7 to do it; it’s pretty hard to see them getting it on offense, they’re not really that style of defense, and their only real home run hitter in the return game has been taken off ST to start at receiver.

  19. placekickerholder Says:

    Al Michaels: “Tashard ‘The People’s’ Choice.”

    C’mon, Michaels. I expect that crap from Berman. You’re better than that.

  20. jackin'4beats Says:

    Ed Werder is apparently a talentless hack who is a liar for a reporter. And he works for ESPN so I guess the heckler is right. ESPN hypes things up? NOOOOOOOOOOOO. That is unpossible. Suck a big fat herpes infected cock ESPN you fuckin hacks. Cowboys kicked some Midget ass tonight AM I RIGHT!!!

  21. fkksn Says:

    NOW THAT WAS FUNNY

  22. Man Bear Pig Says:

    @jackin’

    ESPN=BSPN

    Go Dallas.

  23. Billy Dennis Says:

    “Dallas Deep Throat”?

    What does Jessica Simpson have to do with this?

  24. f--k Orton, Im going deep!!! Says:

    Romo? Ill take Rexy anyday

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