I Don’t Care How Much You Like Their Wide Receivers; This is About RESPECT!
You may got fond memories of your time in New York but they was more than ready to cast your ass out to get their big name superstar gunslinger.
The plain truth is:
THAT’S DISRESPECT!
I like you, Chad. You a soft-spoken guy who gets his point across with an economy of words. Maybe I see a lot of myself in you. By seeing you succeed, it’s like seeing myself succeed, even though I am, in fact, actually succeeding when you succeed. Peezy gotta a vested interest, BUT HE’S STILL SINCERE IN HIS SENTIMENT!
THAT’S WHY WE GONNA FIX THEY GUNSLINGER! MAKE HIM THE HUCKLESLINGER!
Don’t give me those puppy dog eyes. Laveranues don’t love you. He still catching them Brett Favre passes ain’t he? He didn’t quit in protest when they cut you. Laveranues just another cutthroat businessman with his own interests in mind. He’d cut your dick off if it meant it triggered an incentive in his contract. MORE RECEIVERS GOT DICK-CHOPPING CLAUSES THAN YOU MIGHT THINK!
You gotta get mad, Chad. No more mild-mannered Pennington gonna do. We need some fire-breathing take-no-prisoners stab-you-in-the-dickhole-with-a-rusty-fishhook Chad. BRING OUT THAT CHAD!
THERE YOU GO! THAT’S RIGHT! GET FIRED UP! GET FIRED UP, CHAD! ACT LIKE SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SPECIAL K AND REPLACED IT WITH BROKE-DICK REGULAR K!
Peezy ready for the stretch. We gonna fix these playoffs. Fix them Jets. Fix them Ravens. Then fix them Steelers. Fix everybody!
Yeah, you heard me right. Peezy been done wrong too! They said he was past his prime. SUN NEVER SETS ON PEEZY PRIME! I still love them Steelers! A DOG’S A DOG FOR LIFE! But the fact of the matter is, they still disrespected my ass by letting me go. PEEZY GONNA GET HIS! Maybe I’ll give LenDale a lesson on kicking Terrible Towels in the dirt! I got a good dirt kick I developed from my sack dance. AND I GOT LOTSA SACKS! SACK YO TOWEL IN THE DIRT! JUST LIKE ODB SAY, GOD MAKE DIRT AND DIRT BUST YA ASS!
Now I just gotta work on Ricky. He seems calmer than usual this week.
FIX YO CALM, RICKY!
December 23rd, 2008 at 4:23 pm
“Peezy gotta vested interest, BUT HE’S STILL SINCERE IN HIS SENTIMENT!”
Thank you Ape. It is an absolute shit-hole outside and that is the first thing that made me laugh all day.
December 23rd, 2008 at 4:27 pm
These never disappoint
December 23rd, 2008 at 4:27 pm
I can’t believe I’m saying this, let’s go Je……. Ugh, I can’t do it. How about this, Let’s go Fav…… Nope can’t do that either. How about this, Miami, choke on a cawk! Much better.
December 23rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Fix them Jets. Fix them Ravens. Then fix them Steelers. Fuck Gaspar Gomez. Fuck the fucking Diaz brothers!
December 23rd, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Broke Dick Regular K with skim soy milk would make me stab someone in the dickhole.
/FIX YO CEREAL
December 23rd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
An entire Peezy rant with no references to a MOUF…
/wipe back tear
little Peezy’s growing up…
December 23rd, 2008 at 4:47 pm
“MORE RECEIVERS GOT DICK-CHOPPING CLAUSES THAN YOU MIGHT THINK!”
Way to make Brady Quinn depressed right before Christmas.
December 23rd, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Peezy don’t hurt him.
December 23rd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Awesome. I hope Peezy fixes Brett Favre’s desire to come back for another year by gouging out his eyes.
December 23rd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
The last picture is win.
December 23rd, 2008 at 5:08 pm
I need the number of Joey’s dentist.
December 23rd, 2008 at 5:27 pm
THERE YOU GO! THAT’S RIGHT! GET FIRED UP! GET FIRED UP, CHAD! ACT LIKE SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SPECIAL K AND REPLACED IT WITH BROKE-DICK REGULAR K!
I love Chad Pennington like only a white girl can but the idea of that is making me howl. FIX YO PENNY, PEEZEY!
December 23rd, 2008 at 6:23 pm
That was very rude of LeBron James to slap his chalk in front of Ricky’s face and then run away
December 23rd, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Is Broke-Dick Regular K in the same aisle as Special K? Is there a big cost difference? Or is it like regular Keystone vs. Keystone Light?
Also, can we get names in regards to which receivers have dick-chopping clauses? Is that like standard boilerplate, or is it a special request? Also, what’s the bonus structure like?
December 23rd, 2008 at 7:07 pm
sticky ricky made this post.
December 23rd, 2008 at 7:14 pm
My ex-wife wanted a dick chopping clause in the pre-nup.
Sometimes a good lawyer is worth the money.
December 23rd, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Plax had a dick shooting clause
December 23rd, 2008 at 11:39 pm
Special-K is a great nickname for players who come to practice on the short bus. I dub Kevin Kolb the Special-K of 2008.
December 23rd, 2008 at 11:53 pm
check the last flick peezy! dat knicca ricky done fixed his calm,now tell bruh to pass to the left and quit blowing on the fiel
December 24th, 2008 at 12:03 am
Brilliant.
/THEY DISRESPECKIN’ YOU CHAD.
December 24th, 2008 at 1:48 am
Best Peezy rant yet!
December 24th, 2008 at 3:05 am
Peezy flexin his popcorn muscles………….. and gives no one else a chance for discussion
December 24th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Rooting for the Jets is ridiculously hard.
Also, any post with an ODB reference is immortal by default.
December 24th, 2008 at 9:42 am
My Christmas is now complete. Thank you.
December 24th, 2008 at 9:56 am
God I hate to love you Christmas Ape, but you’re too damn funny.
December 24th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
FIX YO MOUF AND HAPPY DAMN CHRISTMAS!