HOLY SH-T, DC! We F-cking OWNED Your Asses!
It’s not everyday that one can say this, so I’ll say it today: It feels damn good to be a Bengals fan.
All the Redskins had to do was roll into Cincinnati and do what almost every other team had done against the Bengals: score more points than they did. How fucking hard is that? But after an early Chris Cooley fumble (due to sore abs, I’m sure), the Bengals jumped out to a 17-0 lead and gobbled enough cock clock to keep the Redskins at bay.
I’m not exaggerating when I say that this is the first time I’ve seen the Bengals win in at least three years. It felt good to watch a team take initiative and then realize, “Hey, we’re doing a great job of not getting utterly buttfucked off the ball.” I hope we can look as competent in Cleveland next week, and contribute to another head coach firing. The important thing is to not get worked up about a single win, to act like we’ve been there before, and to show the composure of a champion over the next three weeks.
YYEAAAAHHHH! YOU SUCK, DC! RYAN FITZPATRICK OWNS YOUR ASSES! YOU WOULD HAVE SUCKED A DICK IN THE PLAYOFFS ANYWAY, BITCHES! WOOOOOOOO! WHO DEY! WHO DEY! GET FUCKED, DC! WE’RE 1-2-1 AGAINST THE NFC EAST! WOOOOOOOO!!!
Tags: 4-11-1 here we come, cincinnati bengals, MMP, More Monday Homerism
December 15th, 2008 at 9:10 am
I bet Maj, loves that one…
December 15th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Football is dead.
December 15th, 2008 at 9:20 am
“I’m not exaggerating when I say that this is the first time I’ve seen the Bengals win in at least three years. ”
/lulz
December 15th, 2008 at 9:22 am
There’s always the Nationals/Orioles hot stove
/bah ha ha ha ha!
December 15th, 2008 at 9:22 am
C’mon, Crenel has already packed up his stress ball and day planner and is ready to commence his new job of freelance Chinese buffet reviewer following the season; you guys winning won’t make any difference.
signed,
Dick “Let’s Have Losman Roll Out” Jauron’s Brain Tumor
December 15th, 2008 at 9:23 am
more homerism from BDD and CC today? Especially from BDD since the Vikes are in first place.
December 15th, 2008 at 9:24 am
somehow I doubt Tommy will be given a like opportunity to gloat with such restraint and class.
So here’s a nice big bowl of ‘fuck off and die stew’ to the Raiders. Thanks for Moss and Jordan, by the way. How’s that working out for ya, Al?
December 15th, 2008 at 9:30 am
MMP, I honestly thought I saw a typo. There was a few of those yesterday. Houston beating TN too.
December 15th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Being true to form, the Skins will win the next two games forcing me to stay invested just in case they somehow fall backwards into the playoffs….
December 15th, 2008 at 9:40 am
Good lord, the only thing uglier than that game is going to be next week. Ken Dorsey vs. Ryan Fitzpatrick. Jamal “I need more cocaine” Lewis vs. Cedric Benson. Bad Tacklers vs. Bad Tacklers and D’Qwell Jackson.
The only way this season could get worse for Ohio NFL fans is if they announced at the end of the season that Marvin Lewis and Romeo Crennel will be switching jobs.
December 15th, 2008 at 9:45 am
sorry folks I will not be my normal commenting that no one ever reads self today. up by 9 with no players remaining facing Westbrook and Phil’s D tonight. It don’t look good for dAndy, but I did come up with a plan…..
http://dandymancandy.blogspot.com/2008/12/romeo-you-are-one-bad-mofo.html
December 15th, 2008 at 9:46 am
It’s a bit off topic, but I’d just like to say: FUCK ELISHA MANNING IN THE FUCKING ASS WITH SHIANCO’S & SANTONIO’S COCKS SIMULTANIOUSLY! YOU LITTLE FUCKING FAGGOT!!!
… why the hell do i torture myself with fantasy football every year? It’s not bad enough that I live in Cleveland for fuck’s sake!!
December 15th, 2008 at 9:49 am
(… down by 7 measly points with B. Marshall, Eli, & Carney left. Marshall= 0, Carney= 9, Eli= -6!!! All he had to do was get 0 pts.!!) Not that anyone cares- we all love to share our misery though.
December 15th, 2008 at 9:53 am
Trash talk from the Bengals…now i have seen it all.
December 15th, 2008 at 10:11 am
http://www.whodeyrevolution.com/whodeyrevolution/2008/12/project-mayhem-task-6-field-reports-.html
it would be better if they had a picture of mike brown on it
December 15th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Hey Reggie BP: Thanks for letting Marrone head out. I read online at NOLA.com not many knew he actually worked for the Saints…
December 15th, 2008 at 10:29 am
I’m just going to go back to a quiet place in my mind where I’m walking to FedEx to see the skins take on the Rams — the high watermark of the Redskins 2008 season
December 15th, 2008 at 10:37 am
where I’m walking to FedEx to see the skins
How much did Snyder charge you to walk through his parking lot?
December 15th, 2008 at 10:42 am
I wonder how Joe Gibbs got through noon mass yesterday without weeping over the thought of his beloved Skins turning gay and sucking down some Midwestern cock.
December 15th, 2008 at 10:46 am
Well you know what they say…Any given Sundee any teem can beet any other teem. At least Maj still has the Redskinettes to ogle during the geems.
December 15th, 2008 at 10:48 am
You’ve made a powerful* enemy today, Flubby.
*Maj not all that powerful
December 15th, 2008 at 10:52 am
the refs overturning that sellers “TD” cost us a tie.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:00 am
@Boatdrinks: You’re welcome. Not many did know. A lot of the hype for the offense has gone to Payton and Brees. But really it’s been the o-line (with only 1 first round pick) that’s allowed Brees and co to do what they do.
/back to KSK-standards: Did Chad do some sort of interpretative dance for this season after the Bengals won? You know, something that could be called the “Turd”?
December 15th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Occasional homerism: funny.
Thrice-daily homerism: Simmons-esque.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Hey nobody put a gun to your head and made you type Kissingsteelymcbeam.uproxx.com into your url bar
Nice ban Ape
/epic fail
December 15th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Good luck ‘Nati against Cleveland. I’ve been authorized by the Devil incarnate to offer the d coordinator position to Romeo. He’ll be back on our sidelines for the playoffs.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Football is dead.
Only in Washington.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:39 am
I like the picture especially. It says something about that Jason Taylor pickup that he’s always a blurry figure way in the background in photos of opposing quarterbacks.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:50 am
Tarvaris threw 4 TDs and no INT. The Bengals won. The Titans lost to the Texans. The NFC South may have 3 teams in the playoffs.
This is the darkest week in the history football.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:55 am
The problem is the front office. Daniel Snyder simply sucks. Even the middle of the road Washington Post today called for his ouster. His experiment in ownership has failed. What the team now needs is a football person, not a business person.
December 15th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Whatever Ahmad’s. If you’re enough of a loser to obsess over getting around being banned on two IP addresses, then I’ll concede your mastery at being an annoying dipshit. Kudos.
December 15th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Uh…Crazy Karl…he’s the owner. The team can’t fire the owner. In fact, the team can’t do shit to him.
But that’s ok. I’m certain Dan won’t overspend in March for more big-name free agents.
December 15th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Man, I sure hope we win the Matt Cassell sweepstakes next year! If not, maybe we can sign Kerry Collins to a 10-year, $460-million deal.
December 15th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Save your money. Collins can be had for three cases of Bull Run bourbon and a side order of hushpuppies.
December 15th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
WHO DEY?! I think my favorite part of watching the game was how reluctant the announcers were to actually say the Bengals were playing well. Rather it was more that the Redskins were “frustrated” or making mistakes. God forbid the Bengals actually know how to play.
December 15th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
God forbid the Bengals actually know how to play.
No, Marvin Lewis forbid.
December 15th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
WHO DEY!
Phew. That felt good, right? Now lets win the next two and end up not getting a top-5 draft pick! Huzzah!
December 15th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Hey! IT WAS ME GETTING THE FUCK BEAT OUT OF ME FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK, NOT THAT OTHER COCKFLASHIN’ COOLEY’S!