Besides the tons of unspeakably freaky fantasy football/sex advice emails that pour into our in-box, we also receive unspeakably freaky fan mail, unspeakably freaky death threats, unspeakably freaky past-due notices, and occasionally even unspeakably freaky YouTube videos.

Apparently this fellow– YouTube user serioussports– prefers the beauty of his own fantasy football prowess to the charms of the fairer sex. I wish I could feel the same kind of fantasy love, but my ill-advised decision to build an offense around keeper Laurence Maroney was poor-conceived is worthy of a solid cockpunching.