Did You Get Drunk For This? You Should Have Gotten Drunk For This
You know, I sat through the entire ponderous spectacle that was Texans and Jaguars on Monday night and I can’t remember anything beyond an endless procession of turnovers and a bunch of scores after the game was already decided. In my drunken haze, I still managed to get a few amusing crowd shots and allow me to share them with you.
Gotta love the two-toned Oilers/Texans helmet. I’m surprised Laura Quinn hasn’t whipped this one out yet.
And we all know Texans fans have graduated from Bovine University.
Feather boas, they’re the hottest football viewing accessory since the team logo garter belt.
The star-faced sneetches, the only Dr. Seuss creation to root for unwatchable football teams. Except the Lorax, everyone knows that fucker loves the bird teams.
Tags: matron saint, mnf recap, No one cares about the Texans
December 2nd, 2008 at 1:21 am
Houston fans have been ready for some football since 1996. One of these days they’re going to get it.
December 2nd, 2008 at 1:45 am
“…and i saw a blimp once!”
December 2nd, 2008 at 1:51 am
That red mohawk Texans fan might just be Dynamo from “The Running Man”. I might be mistaken, though: Texas is full of obese future victims of fatal electrocution.
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:01 am
Why is he wearing a ski cap in Texas? Inside a dome?
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:04 am
I think Dynamo is the MLS team in H-Town. Fans in Texas dont give a shit what teams are playing, they just love seeing people fatter than themselves running around.
Ironically,
Proud Texan
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:21 am
Houston Dynamo. Nice.
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:31 am
Yep. Houston Dynamo. 2-time MLS champ — meaning they’ve doubled the number of titles Houston teams have won. Ever.
Sure don’t look like the Texans will be throwing into that kitty anytime soon.
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:38 am
My buddies and I were bowling and I was struck by the fact that Jack Del Rio has finally mastered the Art Shell face. It’s uncanny.
Brandon
justson.blogspot.com
December 2nd, 2008 at 3:08 am
Reggie is apparently unawares of a little fellow named Hakeem Olajuwon, who won 2 titles just over 10 years ago. How old are you to not remember Olajuwon? 11?
December 2nd, 2008 at 3:28 am
Or the Comets, though even I don’t count them — especially since they were just disbanded. I give the rest of the WNBA one more season.
December 2nd, 2008 at 3:32 am
Or, come to think of it, elementary mathematics. Doubling zero titles would still produce zero. The double of one title would be two.
December 2nd, 2008 at 4:55 am
Star Man from “Pro Wrestling” disapproves of the copycat in the stands. Wait til Fighter Hayabusa hears about this? And Kin Corn Karn! They’ll have a field day with this scallywagg!!
December 2nd, 2008 at 5:34 am
Wouldn’t the Dynamo’s two titles, added to the little fellow’s two, double the number of titles Houston teams have won (from 2 to 4)? So, everybody’s elementary mathematics is right. Except the guy who put together three comments, spread over 24 minutes of no-doubt-intense thought, on the subject.
Eh, silly subject anyway. Almost of less consequence than the game.
December 2nd, 2008 at 6:02 am
I don’t know about you peoples, but the dude with the star on his mouth just screams, “Insert cock here!” Brady Queen and Gay Zorro wished they played the Texans last night. It could almost be considered a reverse glory hole.
December 2nd, 2008 at 6:44 am
If Daryl Hannah is looking to save the whales, she should go to Houston before she heads to Japan. Jesus fuck, those people are enormous.
December 2nd, 2008 at 7:22 am
The game was still better than the term papers I was supposed to finish grading last night. Jeez, I’m screwed.
December 2nd, 2008 at 7:36 am
So, as the photos by Grimey flash by sometimes pretty fast, I didn’t notice Cowboy Texan’s resemblance to Roger Clemens until this morning. Geez Roger, coming down pretty far since being feted in George’s box by Suzyn Waldman screeching. Couldn’t happen to a better douche!
December 2nd, 2008 at 7:55 am
did anyone else notice that the helmet next to mohawk texan is two-toned
December 2nd, 2008 at 8:23 am
+1 Hakim , for the Pro Wrestling video game reference. Don’t forget about The Amazon, half-man half-pirhana.
December 2nd, 2008 at 9:16 am
Beefcake the Mighty does not approve.
December 2nd, 2008 at 9:56 am
Pretty funny that you couldn’t find one fan that isn’t headed to a hotdog-clogged artery. I’m from Texas and I hate fat people.
December 2nd, 2008 at 10:02 am
twoeightnine:
There isn’t a dome anymore. Hurricane Ike blew large chunks of the roof off. It won’t get fixed until February.
December 2nd, 2008 at 11:13 am
When I grow up, I’m going to Bovine University!
December 2nd, 2008 at 11:33 am
Suzie’s got it goin’ on.
December 2nd, 2008 at 11:57 am
Those Texans fans are just awful at cheering for their team. I mean what the hell is up with the mohawk and skull helmet and pom-poms under the hat? What is this Tixas high school football on Friday? Oh wait, I think I just answered my own question.
December 2nd, 2008 at 12:30 pm
fucking dumb houston DST allowing 14 points and about 150 yards in three garbage minutes. cost me a fantasy playoff bye!
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:26 pm
As much as I love being from Texas, these pictures are just a small sample of one of the reasons I moved. Especially the dumb ass in the damn cowboy hat. My god. It’s amazing the people that get into football games at home, I was at the Cowboys-Bengals game at Texas Stadium this season and made the comment that so much white trash shouldn’t be allowed in one place. Tacky? Yes. True? Yes.
The game sucked last night, but I always enjoy watching Jones-Drew play. He’s like a pinball.
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:45 pm
the only thing that keeps me sane is the fact that the jags will probably lose the rest of their games on PURPOSE to get that higher draft pick. crabtree, perhaps? (speaking of things from texas)
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:48 pm
ahhh who am i kidding? the jags will find a way to fuck it up, miraculously win the rest of their games and not make it to the playoffs. what a useless season.
December 2nd, 2008 at 3:41 pm
That’s not the first starfish that guys mouth has been attached to.
December 2nd, 2008 at 6:07 pm
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE FROM TIXAS?
Oh yeah. Everything.
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:58 am
@Moirrra - I am fucking certain that Crabtree from TX Tech is a sophmore and didnt go to a Prep military highschool (ala Larry Fitzgerald). I am so certain that I will bet you a picture of my taint vs. a picture of your taint. Do you accept the bet?
January 20th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
@BAM - Crabtree *is* a sophomore, but red-shired (I think) - regardless, he’s of age to declare, and just did. We gonna see that taint picture as your profile pic?