Finally, it’s time for some SUNDEE Night Footbaw, starring the Raljon Redskins and the Balmer Ravens. Ape has already detailed the Battle of the Beltways (two s’s not one because we don’t share a single beltway, otherwise we’d have to interact with one another on far too regular a basis) and I’ve provided my needlessly detailed analysis for the peacock (to think, the msm thinks the blogosphere is obscene!) so there really isn’t to much more to say. Except for “fuck Baltimore” of course. Because that’s always worth saying. Anyway, continue after the jump for some thoughts on what we’ve seen so far today, and follow along in the open thread.
-Hey, did you see Visanthe Shiancock on FOX in between games? The pv’s from that junk are gonna buy Punte one classy date! Thank god his head wasn’t bare, because that would have been pretty fucking obscene.
-FOX really overused that refrain music in the Pittsburgh-Dallas game. You don’t need to play sad music when Pacman is brutally slammed into the rock hard turf of Heinz Field, just give it one of these.
-As you are undoubtedly aware, my picks were perfect this afternoon heading into the Steeler-Cowboy affair (fuck you, Tashard Choice), but what you don’t know is that my dumb ass forgot to actually place the bets. Seriously, I’m an expert here.
-Tony Romo is my fucking hero (even if Jason Witten is taking the fall for running the wrong route). Now all the Redskins have to do is pick up one of those “wins” they used to get fairly regularly.
-Needless to say, I was desperate for this action this afternoon so I put a few bucks on the Chiefs juicy moneyline and tossed together a teaser with New England, Pittsburgh, and the Jets. Damn it Congress, when will you save me from myself?!
-The New York Jets are fucking garbage and I hate myself for ever thinking otherwise.
-It sure was fun watching some vintage Elisha Manning. He’s gonna have a good cry tonight on his Dora pillow.
-Buffalo can play in Siberia and they’ll still be garbage. Especially with that abortion of a quarterback.
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Did that kid come to the game straight from Spring Break? Where the Hell did he get all those wristbands?
oh and pray-tell us where you are from you degenerate, probably some jabroni from new jers trying to thumb his nose at the Balt. we dont need you anyways you schmoe, keep your nerd ass planted in front of your computer, i’ll continue to kick ass and take names later, just like my team does.
You should probably just kill yourself now.
yeah fk baltimore, thats why reed and lewis make their um-teenth pro bowl while complete using the redskin offense, leave it to some geek internet blogger to insult one of the hardest teams in the nfl, you prob like the patriots or steelers dont you? you meathead schmeggagio, im done with your “blog,” geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!
It’s great to hear you asstasters bitching about your shitty teams. At least you don’t live in J’ville and you didn’t inherit the Jags as your team when they came in to existence during your youth. The sad part is that I’ll be at the Thursday night game in 10 days cheering for the Colts D the entire time while wearing my MJD jersey. Now that’s disfunctional shit right there! Go jags!
/destroyed my opponent in Round 1 of the playoffs.
/picked up Indy’s D early last week……wk 15 vs DET, wk 16 vs Jax…= MONEY!!!!
/also have Pitt’s D – smirre!
HAHA the cowboys suck. Straight up. I can’t stand Tony Romo, and to be honest did anyone see T.O. almost loose his mind at the end of that game. They should start just chucking the ball up in T.O.’s direction because at least he would look for the ball to catch it. Cowboys stink, and Roy Williams destroyed the team. They will fall into a 4 to 5 year slump, trust me!
Wow! Great game by Reed and whole Ravens D!
Hey, look at the bright side, we get to play the Bengals next week!
Now, all we need is to play the Bengals for the two games after that … and to play the Bengals in every game of the playoffs!
I wish I didn’t like the ‘Skins. They are unbearably bad.
ugh
the only thing that can redeem this game is if flacco takes andrea kramer out back and gives her the old inner harbor.
Oh fuck me HOLD MORE!
Al Michaels just said Portis “gets rammed from behind”. +1 NBC
Is there a penalty Warshintin doesn’t like to commit?
The Baltimore Ravens… the best mediocre team in the NFL. Just good enough to lose in the first round of the playoffs.
As a Seahawks fan, I’ve been drunk since week one, and I’m just gonna say that I think Joe Flacco’s a damned handsome man with nice eyebrows and I don’t give a fuck who knows it.
Well, Hustler, the Tenacious D movie does have Dave Grohl as the Devil, and that guy is really tall.
Is anyone else reading Jerome Bettis’ live blogging?
“Clinton Portis plays because he has to.” Really? I thought that was taken care of with the emancipation proclamation.
“This offense is predicated on him running the football…” Jesus Christ. Learn English.
Zorn is so overmatched it’s silly
So Teancious D: Pick of Destiny is on HBO right now. I think it has better direction than the Skin’s OFF
Doesn’t matter whether McGahee is healthy….that was just DUMB
By “drink” I assume he meant “bong hit and rub it raw.”
as is the punt protection.
i’m leaving to go drink for a while
Fuck, those downs are just foreplay.
This o-line is AIDS
Zorn has no need for these first and second downs.
HoC- the second commenter on RealTalk seems to have a good idea.
Which advertising executive thought that Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman was the right person to sell jewelry to men during football? Oh, yeah, probably Drew.
Nilanti is a 400lb. man. Stop drinking, HoC.
I see the Skins still use the Gibb TO philosphy of “We get 6 a half right?”
Hadn’t seen those before. Who the hell is Nilanti? Because I think I love her
More chins… John Madden or Rex Ryan?
Mike Sellers is keeping me alive.
How drunk am I?
Hard to say. Which of the three photos on the bottom left of this page are you the most attracted to?
Huh? A 3rd down conversion? A catch by Thomas?
How drunk am I?
Marmalard-esque?
run forrest, run
SonOfDad, he was floating the ball out of the reach of the defenders.
John Madden gets a food chubby when you talk about Turkey Legs in his unmentionable places.
He has a foodgasm when you discuss Turducken,
It wasn’t Reed, it was Lorenzo Alexander.
UM- It sure was fun watching some vintage Elisha Manning. He’s gonna have a good cry tonight on his Dora pillow.
Dude, I’m a huge Giant’s fan, but that game wasn’t vintage Elisha. Sure the completion percentage was sub 50%, but where were the picks? If you want some vintage Elisha, just wait for the week 17 game against the Vikings.
I quit the NFL.
I’m going to drive to Balmore and shove a turkey leg up John Madden’s ass.
That’s stage three of preparing a turducken, I believe.
@UM… that’s right, even WE have standards.
Fuck it, treating this like a liveblog…
I just Googled the beer I mentioned and it contains 250 calories. I guess this isn’t “light.”
And seriously, Campbell looks more confused then the guy standing next to Plaxico looking around for the champagne bottle.
I’m going to drive to Balmore and shove a turkey leg up John Madden’s ass.
Who am I kidding, I don’t go to Balmore.
Yeah, that’s going to be overturned.
OK, its time to start drinking heavily
NO FUCKING WAY, GET FUCKED YOU FUCKING FACKS!
I get funnier when you’re drunk. And for the ladies, sexier, too.
Flacco got a little too big for his britches on that drive. He needs to get sacked once or twice and knocked down a couple of pegs… THEN throw three or four more TDs.
I hope Flacco gets an eyebrow fracture
@Otto
For some reason that made me laugh my ass off.
/might be the 3 Spaten Optimators laughing
Yea! I figured it out! Joe Flacco looks like a young Elizabeth Taylor! This has been bugging me since two weeks ago.
Man, that kid’s been to a lot of bars this weekend.
everyone else lost today, right? then fuck you guys, dallas is just fine
Fire Danny Smith!
They don’t even look like a pro fucking team. FUCK
Yeah, hey…no Rive Brog?
I know it’s better with 4-5 KSK heads online, but seriously, even 1 would be enough.
My kingdom for a live blog so I could make Ape’s head a-splode.
UM – are you sure its not high heels?
Fuck you. And fuck the Steelers. And fuck Tony Romo. And fucking Jason Witten for being a failure at life. Fucking fuck. That first Ravens touchdown has to be the quickest touchdown all season.
I’m pretty sure that our offensive tackles are wearing loafers.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
It sure it fun to watch your team just melt away into nothing
“-As you are undoubtedly aware, my picks were perfect this afternoon heading into the Steeler-Cowboy affair (fuck you, Tashard Choice), but what you don’t know is that my dumb ass forgot to actually place the bets. Seriously, I’m an expert here.”
I feel your pain. I knew…KNEW that not only would De La Hoya lose despite being favored, but he would take the most embarrassing TKO beating of his career last night. But I’ve had virus issues lately and didn’t want to put my credit card number up on Bodog or whatever, and live nowhere near Vegas, and know no bookies. Fuck.
Seriously, how the fuck did Vegas have an over-the-hill average puncher with speed issues favored over a younger, insane, speedy Filipino who has a history of destroying Mexican technique fighters?
Back to football. IGNORE ME!!!
Oh dear god.
Warshintin has already been intercepted and ESPN gamecast hasn’t started yet.
Sabre-Nailed Finger in Anus? I’d never do anything like that…
/shits pants
//bleeds for 10 minutes
Fuck Baltim….oh you covered that already. Good
Muhammed Ali had better penmanship.
Trig Palin sure grew up fast.
It sure was fun watching some vintage Elisha Manning. He’s gonna have a good cry tonight on his Dora pillow.
“F**K YOU THAT WASN’T ELI’S FAULT IT’S THOSE F**KING NON-BULLET HOLE FILLED RECEIVERS F**K THEM! F**K THE EAGLES! N-F-C-EAST CHAMPS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! G-MEN!”
—Ant’ny from West Orange
/rearranges gold jewelry
//goes to look for a minority to punch