In a just world, this would not only be the last time either of these godheads of incompetence would appear as a head coach on an NFL sideline as the two would be laid out before wheat threshers after the game, but considering how long the Chiefs and the Bengals hate their respective fans, that may not be the case. Hell, they might even be back next year. But let’s pretend this is their respective swan song and they’re gonna get a little crazy. In that case, WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Herm Edwards______________Marvin Lewis

What’d He Get His Kid for Christmas?

Lil’ Bastards Choking Kit______________Grenade (pin sold separately)

Will deliver resignation

Attached to flaming arrow_______________Written on bomb (doesn’t detonate)

Shining Achievement with Present Team

One-and-done in playoffs in 2006______One-and-done in playoffs in 2005

Harold Pinter and Eartha Kitt died. Since they come in threes…

Me next!_____________________No, me!

With him gone

That clears the way for more Schottenheimer choking_________Ocho loses a comedy foil

Further degradation

None! He somehow outlasted Carl Peterson________Gets less interesting disrespectful questions than Rod Marinelli

Finishing Move

Seppuku________________Hara-kiri (But still given an extension by Mike Brown afterward)