Welcome to the Week 16 edition of Always Be Covering, the internet’s single least reliable picks column. There are only two weeks left in the regular season, and that means that there are only two opportunities left to put your money down against the Raiders. Seriously, what the fuck are you waiting for? Have you seen those fuckers play? Yeah, neither have I. But I’m told they suck with the ferocity of a cock-starved single mother. Continue after the jump for the picks and pics.
Pittsburgh -2 at Tennessee
No Haynesworth and no Vanden Bosch makes Tennessee go crappy. Hey, it feels kind of good to bet against the Titans. I should have tried this last week!
Houston -7 at Oakland
Tom Cable is to coaching as I am to football wagering. Well that’s not entirely true, I usually break even.
Minnesota -3 vs. Atlanta
Tarvaris has re-emerged from his cocoon of benchery as the greatest quarterback ever, dontcha know. Pat Williams is out, but Kevin Williams is eating for two this week. Jared Allen will play again despite his gimpy knee, and if you think he’s a mean drunk you should see him when he’s in pain.
Carolina +3 at New York Giants
I went back and forth on this game roughly six times (honestly, I put thought into it and everything!). Since I couldn’t make up my mind I just said fuck and took the points. Then I had some pie as a reward for my savvy prognostication. If God is on my side Brandon Jacobs will play one series and Fred Robbins will fuck up his shoulder after landing hard on Justin Tuck’s knee. It takes faith, people.
Enjoy the games, almost as much as you enjoy gathering the rosebuds off of these young ladies.
Top image via ClickMore’s Flickr stream of Yaz.
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