ABC Week 16: Gather ye rosebuds while ye may
Welcome to the Week 16 edition of Always Be Covering, the internet’s single least reliable picks column. There are only two weeks left in the regular season, and that means that there are only two opportunities left to put your money down against the Raiders. Seriously, what the fuck are you waiting for? Have you seen those fuckers play? Yeah, neither have I. But I’m told they suck with the ferocity of a cock-starved single mother. Continue after the jump for the picks and pics.
Pittsburgh -2 at Tennessee
No Haynesworth and no Vanden Bosch makes Tennessee go crappy. Hey, it feels kind of good to bet against the Titans. I should have tried this last week!
Houston -7 at Oakland
Tom Cable is to coaching as I am to football wagering. Well that’s not entirely true, I usually break even.
Minnesota -3 vs. Atlanta
Tarvaris has re-emerged from his cocoon of benchery as the greatest quarterback ever, dontcha know. Pat Williams is out, but Kevin Williams is eating for two this week. Jared Allen will play again despite his gimpy knee, and if you think he’s a mean drunk you should see him when he’s in pain.
Carolina +3 at New York Giants
I went back and forth on this game roughly six times (honestly, I put thought into it and everything!). Since I couldn’t make up my mind I just said fuck and took the points. Then I had some pie as a reward for my savvy prognostication. If God is on my side Brandon Jacobs will play one series and Fred Robbins will fuck up his shoulder after landing hard on Justin Tuck’s knee. It takes faith, people.
Enjoy the games, almost as much as you enjoy gathering the rosebuds off of these young ladies.
Top image via ClickMore’s Flickr stream of Yaz.
Tags: Always Be Covering, degenerate behavior, Gambling, Post your picks in the comments and watch as I delete them, sexy friday, Unsilent Majority
December 19th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
I am going to eat your family and pets through my IV bag
December 19th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Philadelphia -38.5 at Washington
December 19th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
That’s a gimme
December 19th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
/can’t bet against the Redskins
December 19th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
How’s about a prop bet on which quarter COOCH PUTS IN COLT!
December 19th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Ape, he’s trying to NOT get fired.
December 19th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Thank you for the chocolatey goodness with the DSLs in pic #1. Those other photos are proof that sexy Friday cannot be stopped even with this fliggin’ brizzard today.
Oh and take the Cowboys and the points. FUCK THE INVIZIBUL RAVENS!
December 19th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
IF COOLT PLEES THE WHOLE GEEM, WE GOT A REAL SHOT AT 50 POINTS ON SUNDEE!
December 19th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
JUST THROW IT DOWNFIELD! IT’S THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING!
December 19th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Todd Collins will lead us to victory
December 19th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Here’s my own picks:
Tennessee (+2): Don’t ask me how. I guess maybe Big Ben’s last minute heroics finally fall flat.
Green Bay (+4): Has everyone forgotten what happened the last time these two teams played?
Cincinnati (+3): Cincinnati, climbing up the ladder of mediocrity, passes Cleveland, who is on the way down.
Denver (-6.5): Denver finally gets its shit together at home, covers by half a point.
Hope someone out there is actually reading these – I’m 9-4 since I started posting.
December 19th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
9-4 will get you shot in Vegas.
you seriously couldn’t find any hotter girls covered in rose petals? i know you guys throw these things together while spanking it on the crapper, but c’mon. wireless internet and google would produce better results than those.
anyone keeping track of UM’s season record?
December 19th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Here’s your sticker, Zack. Congratulations. We’re all very impressed.
December 19th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
http://images.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&q=covered+in+rose+petals&btnG=Search+Images
Go nuts, fuckwad.
December 19th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
@kiddicus maximus: well then go search google and stop looking for spank material here. What are you using the computer at your small town library?
December 19th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Keeping with the rosebuds theme, although not covering anything….
http://jarle.eltelevest.no/Laetitia_Casta/Images/Gallery/Special/HerbRitts/HRRollingStone1.jpg
December 19th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
everybody loves the fuckin steelers..
December 19th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Zack has some serious potential to make the ESPN featured comment section. DON’T GIVE UP ZACK, DON’T EVER GIVE UP!
December 19th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I didn’t realize how hot that Antonella chick from American Idol was until just now when I jizzed in my pants.
December 19th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Yeah, and now that I’ve made such a naked plea for attention, I’ll probably eat a cock meat sandwich and go 0-4 for the week. I’ll probably be doing full write-ups for the games next year at popdose, so you’ll only have to put up with me for one more week after this one.
December 19th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
This Skins have no business thinking they can beat anyone at this point! I like the -38.5 comment. Slayon and his probowl diss, watch him run for miles. Laying the wood on that game for sure!
December 19th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Who the fuck is Slayon and what the fuck does it have to do with the Redskins/Eagles game?
December 19th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Just throw it down field?
Yeah, that seemed to work out real good for Sexy Rexy’s Career, didn’t it!
Oh well…good times…good times
December 19th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
The top picture has reaffirmed my belief in a benevolent creator.
December 19th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Who…..is she?….where does she…….LIVE??
December 19th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Much as I appreciate the exposure on your website you have not asked my permission to use my photograph! You are in fact in breach of copyright on http://www.flickr.com/photos/clickmore/3041509870/ If you wish to continue using my image then please credit the photograph or remove it.
Thank you.
Pete Baldrey
December 19th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Too late- it’s already in the spank bank.
December 19th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Hey Pete Baldrey, get fucked.
And read your own terms of use:
“…You may be tempted to post on a public forum about what’s happening, but that’s not the best way to resolve a possible copyright problem. We don’t encourage singling out individuals like this on Flickr.”
So, cry to flickr about it. We don’t care for your tomfoolery
December 20th, 2008 at 1:11 am
I linked back to the flickr image in question at the bottom of the post.
December 20th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Pete, get me a nude pic of that chick and I promise not to cut your balls off.