HUH? WHAT? FUCK YOU! The AFC and NFC Pro Bowl rosters have been unveiled. Among the things you’ll notice: Marmalard getting badly snubbed (THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT, COCKWALLET?!), Le’Ron McClain getting this year’s Alstott Award For Pro Bowl Fullbacks Who Are Really Just Big, Shitty Tailbacks, Chris Samuels making the NFC roster despite having the same blocking abilities as a wall made of peppermint bark, WELKAHHHHHHHH, and Antoine Winfield’s first-ever Pro Bowl spot (about fucking time).
Tags: WAHHH MY FAVORITE PLAYER WAS NOT CHOSEN TO PULL OUT OF A RETARDED EXHIBITION GAME WITH A BUM HAMMY
December 16th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
And London gets snubbed again!
December 16th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
The snubbing of Nnamdi Asomugha is over at long last.
December 16th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
The non-snubbing of Favre continues — hey, at least he led the AFC in picks!
December 16th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
For the NFL fan, the Pro Bowl is like methadone treatment for the chronic heroin addict – It’s not the same thing, but it’ll do.
December 16th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Marmalard’s qb ranking is at least 10 points higher than manning, favre, and cutlerfucker
December 16th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Harrison and Woodley only go as a tandem. My gayness for them demands it!
December 16th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
The probowl would be so much better if they just let Drew do the picking…
December 16th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
The probowl would be so much better if they didn’t play it
/Robert Edwards’d
December 16th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Oh, the meaninglessness. I have say, my apathy boner is huge right now.
Also, still waiting for a “Fuck” post from Drew re: Pat Williams.
December 16th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Of the four major North American pro sports, the NFL has, by far, the worst All-Star game.
December 16th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Of the four major North American pro sports, the NFL has, by far, the worst All-Star game.
Yet they schedule it at the best time, when it doesn’t break up the goddamn season.
December 16th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Here’s a rough transcript of a conversation I had last February:
Wife: “Hey, isn’t football on?”
Me: “Just the Pro Bowl.”
Wife: “But it’s the last NFL game until the fall, right?”
Me: “I’m not sure I’d call it that.”
December 16th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
I’m happy for Clifton Smith and all, but doesn’t anybody else in the NFC return kicks? And does this mean that everyone in the NFL hates Reggie Bush?
December 16th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Fuck them for not putting Matt Forte on there.
December 16th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Otto Man
My sincerest congratulations for having a wife that would bring that to your attention!
December 16th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Ronnie Brown? Really? Did he get the nod because he single-handedly ass-raped the Patriots at the beginning of the season? Steve Slaton, LT, Marshawn Lynch all have better numbers than him.
If they did it just to rub it in to the Pats, then I’m pretty much fine with it.
December 16th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
i guess my vote for JT O’sullivan wasn’t enough. maybe next year.
December 16th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Fuck Antonio Gates in his gimpy ass. Dallas Clark fucking PWNS.
However, congrats to Mathis and Freeney, as well as Manning and Wayne.
December 16th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
“Of the four major North American pro sports, the NFL has, by far, the worst All-Star game.”
there’s talk that the nfl wants to move the probowl to the week between the conference championships and the super bowl to get more interest from the fans. if my team ever made the super bowl again, i sure wouldn’t want their best players playing in that worthless game one week before the super bowl.
December 16th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
wtf? where’s Brian Russell?
but seriously, Favre? Cutlerfucker? Ronnie f’n Brown?
December 16th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
McClain has something like 700 yards and a bunch of touchdowns – I’m amazed, I didn’t realise this until I looked it up. C’mon, he’s hardly shit.
December 16th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
they ought to move the Pro Bowl as the first game of pre-season in like April the same weekend of the draft, since most of the players take it off anyway, won’t hurt teams if their best players are snoozing on the sidelines at a time nobody is working them in camp and/or preparing for the damn Super Bowl
December 16th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Brett Favre and Peyton Manning? Seriously? Are we not even pretending that Year X’s games are relevant to Year X’s Pro Bowl?
And what did Jason Peters do so special this year other than hold out of the preseason and not change his name?
December 16th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
My sincerest congratulations for having a wife that would bring that to your attention!
It was more that she was shocked I wasn’t watching. She’s not one of those annoying preachy football widows, but she does make her sacrifices known.
December 16th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Yes, Ronnie fucking Brown. Fuck you!
/still jerking off to the Pats game
Anyway, seeing two Fins in the Pro Bowl was a nice pick-me-up after getting a root canal yesterday. The dentist had to fix my mouf!
December 16th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
They’re saying Rivers is the AFC first alternate, so when Favre inevitably falls over and breaks his hip, you’ll see the Marmalard/Cutlerfucker duo on the sideline
December 16th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Can someone explain to me how Calvin Johnson is having the season he is? He’s had retarded monkeys throwin him the ball on sundays and he damn near made the the pro bowl. Best, newest piece to the argument for contraction. Imagine what he’d do on even a mediocre team with even average talent so that the defense couldn’t just triple team him every passing down…this guy’s scary good
December 16th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
If you think ESPN’s commenters are bad, get a load of this shit.
vikingsfan89
the cowboys is the worst franchise. you have the most talent yr in and out but they still find a way to mess everythign up. how dont they win every game. ya who cares they beat the giants so what. so did the browns. dallas needs a better coach. and the need to put t.o. in a cage and only let him out on sundays
http://www.nfl.com/probowl/story/09000d5d80d60467/comments/2009-pro-bowl-rosters#sort:TimeStampDescending/page:2
December 16th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
Lofa Tatupu, Julian Peterson, Marcus Trufant and Brandon Mebane are all Pro Bowl-quality players who aren’t going because of the incredibly fucktastic coaching and play of their teammates. I guess when you are 3-11 you have no right to complain, however.
/Brian Russell sucks like a gay black hole
December 16th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
I was surprised to that many players on the NFC list. I expected this:
QB: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
RB: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
FB: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
WR: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
TE: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
T: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
G: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
C: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
and fuck it, why not the rest
DE: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
DT: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
OLB: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
ILB: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
CB: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
S: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
K: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
P: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
KR: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
ST: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
December 16th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
My wife would like to add for the record that the last time we watched a Giants game she looked up and said, “Jesus Christ, Eli Manning looks like such a pussy.”
December 16th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Otto, your wife is a wise woman. He is a pussy. He doesn’t even do cute young thing well.
A Pro Bowl at any time of year is a pro bowl. I say leave it the fuck alone. I need to start napping sometime. That is fine time.
December 17th, 2008 at 12:36 am
I think the NFL owes Braylon Edwards a huge apology for not honoring him this season… then again, he’s always been underapppreciated. It’s almost like he’s a marked man because he’s from Michigan.
Seriously though, Joshua Cribbs got screwed… noone has his combination of return skills and special teams tackling ability (how is that little bastard always in the right place?)
December 17th, 2008 at 6:36 am
If there was any doubt that the Pro Bowl is a popularity contest and choosing the OLinemen whose name rings a bell:
Andre Gurode, Leonard Davis, Wes Welker, Brett Favre, Brian Waters, Jason Peters, Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis, Ray Lewis.
December 17th, 2008 at 9:00 am
Biggest Snub? London Fletcher.
As a Redskins fan, I’ll gladly give up Samuels’ slot to let Fletcher in. He should frankly be the starter.
December 17th, 2008 at 9:54 am
London Fletcher?
The biggest snub is far and away John Abraham being left off the NFC roster. He has 15.5 sacks in the best division in the league.
December 17th, 2008 at 10:57 am
cockwallet!!! hahahahahahahahahahaaha
December 17th, 2008 at 11:01 am
What about Obese Predator getting the snub? That’s right, Ryan Clady didn’t make it with his 1/5 sack allowed. The guy that did get the nod has allowed more sacks than Cutlerfucker’s entire o-line.
December 17th, 2008 at 11:28 am
sorry ‘J.L. White’ (is that short for Jaleel? “did iiiii do thaaaat?”), but the only member of the seahawks that POSSIBLY got snubbed is trufant. no one else is even close to being invited to the discussion. the newly unproved post-DUI lofa is a joke.
however, if this game TRULY was for the fans’ entertainment, clowns like kelly jennings (”i’m too wittle to tackle”) and brian “i manage to underachieve at over-achieving” russell would be SHOE-INS!
December 17th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
the inclusion of jason peters is laughable. He hasn’t even been the Bills best lineman, which is saying something seeing as none of the others have been exactly great.
Also, Winfield is a strange player. I agree that he should have been recognized by now, but he is an odd corner in that he typically causes more fumbles than makes picks, and is a tackling machine. Which means he is letting passes get caught, but also that he is quick to other people breaking into the secondary and can crowd the line.