YOU KNOW IF YOU VOTE THEY GIVE YOU A STICKER
HI AMERICA
EVEN WITH THE OWIE IN MY SHOULDERSPOT, I HAD TO EXERCISE MY DUTY AS AN AMERICAN AND RESERVE A COPY OF GEARS OF WAR II AT THE GAMESPOT THIS MORNING.
BUT NEXT DOOR I SAW BUNCHES OF PEOPLE ALL GATHERED TOGETHER. I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE CHOCO TACO TASTING BUT IT WAS SOMETHING CALLED VOTING INSTEAD.
I ASKED HINES WHAT WAS VOTING AND HE SAID SOMETHING COMPLEX AND SO I THOUGHT ABOUT TIDAL WAVES INSTEAD. STILL WE WENT INTO THE PLACE AND THEY PUT ME ON THIS MACHINE. I WENT PEW PEW PEW ON THE BUTTONS AND THE MACHINE SAID I VOTED AND THEY GAVES ME A STICKER.
I TOLD THE MAN I VOTED WITH A OWIE IN MY SHOULDER AND THEY EVEN GAVE ME TWO STICKERS FOR BEING A TOUGH BEN! VOTING IS THE BEST THING SINCE LINEMEN WHO BLOCK FOR YOU! I HOPE TO DO IT EVERY YEAR.
Tags: ben rongrastname, xmas ape
November 4th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
It’s not a sticker, it’s a stencil.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Another vote for Nader!
November 4th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
hines wald rikes arr this today about erection today
November 4th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
He voted Green Party due to his affinity for natural grass. (Same as Ricky Williams)
November 4th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Somebody should tell Ben that Starbucks will give you a free coffee today if you’re wearing your vote sticker. Or, in his case, hot cocoa.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Just think how many people would vote if they had signs that said, “free hat”
November 4th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
I had him pegged as more of a Bob Barr kind of guy
November 4th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
PEW PEW PEW = Amazing.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Hines gets annoyed because he can’t understand why every time he talks about “that Balack Obama” people start calling him a racist.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
You can fix an election but you can’t fix stupid.
\Pretty sure Gears of War II will have bigger impact on my life than my state senator. Whoever the hell that is.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
I’m pissed I didn’t think of saying “pew pew pew…..” as I voted this morning
November 4th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
If they don’t count my provisional ballot that I had to fill out because the moron at the DMV fucked up and didn’t register me to vote, I’ma go ‘pew pew pew’ at the Elections Board on Friday.
/who answers ‘no’ to the question, do you want to register to vote? Like it’s hard to get out of jury duty.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Ape, this was one of the funniest Rongrastname posts ever. And I don’t know why. Maybe, it’s the PEW PEW PEW in the voting machine. I should have thought to do that this morning.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Ahhh, UU, similar regrets.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
@Loose, there’s always next year or if we lived in Chicago we could have another chance to vote and do it.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
This lacked HARFHARFHARF!
November 4th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
I had my democratic process early: 6:15am. Bizarre, more people than usually there at 8:15pm.
Anywhoo, one of the booth’s curtain would not close, sending you into “privacy / vote” land.
My line worked…I think…maybe.
And no “pew, pew, pew” either. Sigh. I will blame it on the early hour.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Sometimes I think the parallels between tidal waves and national politics is not so far-fetched at all.
Well played Ben, an extra choco taco for you tonight at desert.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Brilliant as always, I wish there were Ben/Hines posts every day
November 4th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
I would have gone “PEW PEW PEW” in the booth but unfortunately, it’s hard to have the same impact with a sharpie and a paper ballot. I need to move back to places with punch ballots.
November 4th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Simply awesome. I completely forgot about Gears 2 this week, now I have another stop on my lunch break.
November 4th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Hines told me not to vote for the one from Hawaii, he said that is where “great dish water” or something like that came from
November 4th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
@Signal - You got sharpies? I had an old bic with no cap and a cardboard box on a fold up table as my booth. Still, someone in my county had to vote for Obama.
November 4th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Stickers after voting? Is Rolf the Nazi shark behind this?
November 4th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Man, I could really go for a choco taco right about now.
And no bad MS Paint of an “I Voted” sticker on Big Ben?
November 4th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Good idea, El Duke
November 4th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Fixed
November 4th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
I’m surprised no one got on this yet, but +1 Porky. Well played.
November 4th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Seriously, Heidi Klum playing Guitar Hero in sexier underwear than has ever graced the floor of my apartment and Kristen Bell in a Slave Leia outfit is giving me the biggest nerd boner ever.
Keep up the good work!
November 4th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Perfect
November 4th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
you guys fix the “calibration error” on the electronic voting machines that counts a vote for Obama as a vote for McCain yet?
November 4th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
HI AMERICA
Ape wins.
November 4th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Point of order: is there actually something called a Choco Taco, or is it just a fevered dream of the KSK staff?
Dammit. Heidi Klum and Slave Kristen.
November 4th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
A Few Songs to Play Tonight:
“First Black President” Blow Fly
“Funky President” James Brown
“You’re The Man (Pts I & II)” Marvin Gaye
“Eric B. Is President” Eric B. & Rakim
“I’m Payin’ Taxes, What Am I Buyin’?” Fred Wesley & The J.B.s
“One Nation Under A Groove” Funkadelic
“Chocolate City” Parliament
“Message From A Black Man” The Temptations
“Living in America” James Brown
November 4th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
i can’t decide if ben or ocho is my favorite mental midget around here.
November 4th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Slothrop killed this with the first comment. Well played.
I’m just waiting for Benjamin to refer to himself as “A TOUGH BEN” in one of his post-game press conferences.
November 4th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
HI BARACK
November 4th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
@ Gino: No Soul Man on the list?
November 4th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Monkey Business - Oh, it’s very, very real.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Choco_Taco
Also, where Rongrastname lacks in intellectual capacity, he makes up for in great taste in video games.
November 4th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
/wonders if Good Humor-Breyers is publically traded
November 4th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
@ FMRA
Agreeeeeeed
November 4th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Reverend Ike, Secretary of the Treasure
Richard Pryor, Minister of Education
Stevie Wonder, Secretary of FINE Arts
November 4th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
@monkey business
Yes, a choco taco is a real thing. But whether it’s ice cream in a taco shaped waffle cone with chocolate sour cream or Big Ben just having jungle fever is for you to find out on your own.