YOU DEFENSIVE BACKS MADE A FIBBER OF THE BEN!
I MADE A PROMISE. PROMISE TO PLAY GOODER EVEN WITH SHOULDER OWIE. YOU CORNER GUYS MADE ME BREAK PROMISE BY CATCHING THE PASSBALLS I THREW DIRECTLY TO YOU.
COULD IT BE THAT BEN CANNOT DO EVERYTHING? THAT SOMETIMES HE JUST NEED TO GET RID OF BALL AND READ THE DEFENSE BEFORE HE GO FORWARD WITH THE CHUCKARM?
NO! BEN STRONG! BEN VOW TO PLAY BETTER! HOLD BALL LONGER! FORCE PASSES INTO COVERAGE MORE FORCIBLY!
OH NOES! WHAT SADNESS COME OVER THE BEN! FWAH FWAH FWAH
[Shoji screen door flies open]
Hines: Aw, thele, thele. No you cly, intellception guy. It bling shame on you.
Ben: HI HINES
I KNOW, I KNOW. IT’S ALL BEN’S FAULT. I CAN TAKE THE FALL. I’M THE FALL MAN.
Hines: Yes, Rongrastname, I am knowing you all at faurt. Hines pray gleat game, make 8 supellfantastic catch for ovell 100 hundled yalds! Make me feer rike young man who used to reap ovel goreposts in singer bound!
See? I show foll you.
Ben: NO, NO HINES! I WON’T HEAR IT! I WON’T LET THE TEAM TAKE THE FALL FOR THE FALL MAN! I’M RESPONSIBLE BEN!
Hines: I arleady say…
Ben: NO! NONONONONONONO! I’M THE LEADER AND THE LEADER TAKES THE BLAME WHEN HE IS THE ONE CLEARLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS TEAM’S LOSS. IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. BUCK STOPS WITH THE BEN! COACH TOLD ME THAT AND THE MEDIA LIKES TO HEAR IT.
[Door handle fumbles for 15 seconds, then door flies open instantly]
Byron Leftwich: Hey guys.
Ben: HI BACKUP.
Byron: Tomlin says I’m starting this week.
Hines: Hoolay! Hines no more have tacker defensive back thlee times pell game!
Ben: AW SHUCKSBUCKETS
Leftwich: Tomlin said you can still be the fall guy.
Ben: COACH SAID THAT?
Leftwich: Yes.
Ben: AWESOME! [Sticks arms forward with balled fists, runs around the room making "WHOOOOOOSH" sound] I’M SUPABEN!
Tags: homerism and defeatism, laugh now but byron leftwich will destroy you with his 10-second release, xmas ape
November 10th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Ben: NO! NONONONONONONO! I’M THE LEADER AND THE LEADER TAKES THE BLAME WHEN HE IS THE ONE CLEARLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS TEAM’S LOSS. IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. BUCK STOPS WITH THE BEN! COACH TOLD ME THAT AND THE MEDIA LIKES TO HEAR IT.
Did Ben get hit in the head and get some sense knocked back into him? Or was this a real long typo?
November 10th, 2008 at 11:52 am
I AM laughing now. I don’t give a shit about Byron Leftwich and what he’ll do to me.
November 10th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Justin Hartwig + Byron Leftwich stepping 5 yards into his throws = Fun times for Jamal Williams
November 10th, 2008 at 11:54 am
“superfantastic”
Fol shame Hines, fol shame.
November 10th, 2008 at 11:54 am
FORCE PASSES INTO COVERAGE MORE FORCIBLY!
if only Sage Rosenfels had thought of this
November 10th, 2008 at 11:58 am
i would love the steelers a lot more if they gave actual postgame press conferences as these KSKharacters.
November 10th, 2008 at 11:58 am
100 hundled yalds
WOW HINES THATS LIKE A MILLION
November 10th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
I love, love, love “HI BACKUP.”
/makes today a better day after a Sunday suckfest
November 10th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
How restricted was his ability to throw deep?
You’d have to ask him that.
What happened on the first interception?
I don’t have the details of it at this point. It was a nice catch by (Keiwan) Rat(liff).
November 10th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
[Door handle fumbles for 15 seconds, then door flies open instantly]
accompanied by blaring go-go music
November 10th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
HINES SAY FAURT!
HARF HARF HARF
November 10th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
HI BACKUP.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Oh…….because Hines is part korean or thai or guamanian or something like that.
That shit is hard to read even when you are sober.
That shit is hald to lead even when you ale sobel.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
YOU CORNER GUYS MADE ME BREAK PROMISE BY CATCHING THE PASSBALLS I THREW DIRECTLY TO YOU.
What were they going to do, Ben? Not catch them? You were throwing them directly at them!
November 10th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
I’M SUPABEN! [crashes face first into a 1978 Dodge Swinger].
November 10th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Ben: HI BACKUP
/crying tears of unadulterated joy
November 10th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Did your shoulder affect you at all?
I’ll never come back with an excuse. I don’t care what it is: shoulder, thumb.,leg, voted for wrong guy,hate playing in cold weather without my glove, Santonio goes left when I throw right, Arians does massive amounts of blow during game planning, I didnt watch film,I didn’t practice, upset that my nick-name isn’t the sex cannon…. No excuses. You have a game like that and it’s disappointing.
You’re obviously taking this personal. Could you explain?
If this was an individual sport and I lost the game, I wouldn’t feel so bad. Letting the guys down, letting your teammates down, it hurts. You never hear me say ‘I anything’ unless it was me saying I want a tall receiver..or I hated the fact coach wizz made me watch film..etc.
/also homer/also started Moore in 3 fantasy leagues
November 10th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
I bet they wish they didnt drop Najeh.
“Ben love Najeh……………ahahhahahahaha” – Goonies style
November 10th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
The sad thing is that the QB with the best arm, mobility and decision-making ability on the Steerels loster is a guy Tomlin would be too chickenshit to ever start, Dennis Dixon.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Aw. Poor Byron doesn’t even get a name.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Were there any cheerleaders bending over or stretching in front of SupaBen last night? It’s hard to throw with a boom boom in your pants.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
The first thing I thought after each of Ben’s interceptions yesterday was “HI KEIWAN” and “HI TIM” and “HI MELVIN” – which made me enjoy those turnovers even more. 3 picks when both our starting corners are out with injuries? LOLLERCOASTER.
Now excuse me while I eat my weight in cake frosting.
November 10th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
How does Ben prop himself up for keg stands with a bum shoulder?
November 10th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
“I am knowing you all at faurt”. I’m using this phrase all day at work.
November 10th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Byron could be tubbalard.
November 10th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
There’s no justice in a world where every team sucks except for Eli’s and Kerry’s.
November 10th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Pey-Pey @ Stillers “You are who I thought you were”
A wholly owned subsidiary of Manning & Manning Co.
November 10th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Yeah, Pey-Pey owns the Steelers. Except in the playoffs.
November 10th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Byron is the new El Guapo.
November 10th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
*ahem*
“shoji screen door fries open”
November 10th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Big Bum will be fine. He’ll continue to throw his vaunted ‘Burger balloons into open spaces and Ward will run back and catch them and we’ll all continue to pretend that’s a solid passing attack. The key to the Squeel’s ‘09 hopes is whether Meweldi Moe/Willie Parkedonbench/Hajie Haven’tport/Rashard Mendmyshoulder/whothefuckever can sustain any kind of running attack. Without a consistent ground game Rothlisbozo is just a drunken mall Santa handing out a multitude of joyous holiday gifts (only one you can deck without a rent-a-cop chasing you). Wedge it!
November 10th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
@Barrack Billick: William Gay? More like William Homosexual
November 10th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
“You’ll never hear me say ‘I’ anything, but I lost this game.”
Actual Ben Roethlisberger quote.
November 10th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
http://twitter.com/steelymcbeam/status/999320615
Coddammit.
November 10th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Do we get a Rongrastname/Marmalard crossover next week?
November 10th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Possibly. That much retardery in one post could make the Internet collapse on itself.
November 10th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
More time for Big Ben to play Call of Duty 4 on the sidelines next weekend?
November 10th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
No way. The new Call of Duty comes out tomorrow.
November 10th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
PEW PEW PEW.
/Maverick
November 10th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
[Door handle fumbles for 15 seconds, then door flies open instantly]
HI BACKUP
In-fucking-spired.
November 10th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Everytime I read Hines Wald, I do so in the same voice as KJI from SP: Team America, World Police.
“Haroo”.
November 11th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Usually I hear Mongo voicing Ben. For some reason, reading this one, I think of the dog from the Bugs Bunny cartoon who reaches into the tree after Bugs and squishes a tomato, thinking it’s the rabbit.
“I C-C-CRUSHED HIM.”
/nerd alert
November 11th, 2008 at 11:25 am
All i can picture now is Ben and Al Gore with capes trying to rid the world of ManBearPig
November 11th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Byron: HEY HEY HEY!!!