I MADE A PROMISE. PROMISE TO PLAY GOODER EVEN WITH SHOULDER OWIE. YOU CORNER GUYS MADE ME BREAK PROMISE BY CATCHING THE PASSBALLS I THREW DIRECTLY TO YOU.
COULD IT BE THAT BEN CANNOT DO EVERYTHING? THAT SOMETIMES HE JUST NEED TO GET RID OF BALL AND READ THE DEFENSE BEFORE HE GO FORWARD WITH THE CHUCKARM?
NO! BEN STRONG! BEN VOW TO PLAY BETTER! HOLD BALL LONGER! FORCE PASSES INTO COVERAGE MORE FORCIBLY!
OH NOES! WHAT SADNESS COME OVER THE BEN! FWAH FWAH FWAH
[Shoji screen door flies open]
Hines: Aw, thele, thele. No you cly, intellception guy. It bling shame on you.
Ben: HI HINES
I KNOW, I KNOW. IT’S ALL BEN’S FAULT. I CAN TAKE THE FALL. I’M THE FALL MAN.
Hines: Yes, Rongrastname, I am knowing you all at faurt. Hines pray gleat game, make 8 supellfantastic catch for ovell 100 hundled yalds! Make me feer rike young man who used to reap ovel goreposts in singer bound!
See? I show foll you.
Ben: NO, NO HINES! I WON’T HEAR IT! I WON’T LET THE TEAM TAKE THE FALL FOR THE FALL MAN! I’M RESPONSIBLE BEN!
Hines: I arleady say…
Ben: NO! NONONONONONONO! I’M THE LEADER AND THE LEADER TAKES THE BLAME WHEN HE IS THE ONE CLEARLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS TEAM’S LOSS. IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. BUCK STOPS WITH THE BEN! COACH TOLD ME THAT AND THE MEDIA LIKES TO HEAR IT.
[Door handle fumbles for 15 seconds, then door flies open instantly]
Byron Leftwich: Hey guys.
Ben: HI BACKUP.
Byron: Tomlin says I’m starting this week.
Hines: Hoolay! Hines no more have tacker defensive back thlee times pell game!
Ben: AW SHUCKSBUCKETS
Leftwich: Tomlin said you can still be the fall guy.
Ben: COACH SAID THAT?
Leftwich: Yes.
Ben: AWESOME! [Sticks arms forward with balled fists, runs around the room making "WHOOOOOOSH" sound] I’M SUPABEN!
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Byron: HEY HEY HEY!!!
All i can picture now is Ben and Al Gore with capes trying to rid the world of ManBearPig
Usually I hear Mongo voicing Ben. For some reason, reading this one, I think of the dog from the Bugs Bunny cartoon who reaches into the tree after Bugs and squishes a tomato, thinking it’s the rabbit.
“I C-C-CRUSHED HIM.”
/nerd alert
Everytime I read Hines Wald, I do so in the same voice as KJI from SP: Team America, World Police.
“Haroo”.
[Door handle fumbles for 15 seconds, then door flies open instantly]
HI BACKUP
In-fucking-spired.
PEW PEW PEW.
/Maverick
No way. The new Call of Duty comes out tomorrow.
More time for Big Ben to play Call of Duty 4 on the sidelines next weekend?
Possibly. That much retardery in one post could make the Internet collapse on itself.
Do we get a Rongrastname/Marmalard crossover next week?
http://twitter.com/steelymcbeam/status/999320615
Coddammit.
“You’ll never hear me say ‘I’ anything, but I lost this game.”
Actual Ben Roethlisberger quote.
@Barrack Billick: William Gay? More like William Homosexual
Big Bum will be fine. He’ll continue to throw his vaunted ‘Burger balloons into open spaces and Ward will run back and catch them and we’ll all continue to pretend that’s a solid passing attack. The key to the Squeel’s ’09 hopes is whether Meweldi Moe/Willie Parkedonbench/Hajie Haven’tport/Rashard Mendmyshoulder/whothefuckever can sustain any kind of running attack. Without a consistent ground game Rothlisbozo is just a drunken mall Santa handing out a multitude of joyous holiday gifts (only one you can deck without a rent-a-cop chasing you). Wedge it!
*ahem*
“shoji screen door fries open”
Byron is the new El Guapo.
Yeah, Pey-Pey owns the Steelers. Except in the playoffs.
Pey-Pey @ Stillers “You are who I thought you were”
A wholly owned subsidiary of Manning & Manning Co.
There’s no justice in a world where every team sucks except for Eli’s and Kerry’s.
Byron could be tubbalard.
“I am knowing you all at faurt”. I’m using this phrase all day at work.
How does Ben prop himself up for keg stands with a bum shoulder?
The first thing I thought after each of Ben’s interceptions yesterday was “HI KEIWAN” and “HI TIM” and “HI MELVIN” – which made me enjoy those turnovers even more. 3 picks when both our starting corners are out with injuries? LOLLERCOASTER.
Now excuse me while I eat my weight in cake frosting.
Were there any cheerleaders bending over or stretching in front of SupaBen last night? It’s hard to throw with a boom boom in your pants.
Aw. Poor Byron doesn’t even get a name.
The sad thing is that the QB with the best arm, mobility and decision-making ability on the Steerels loster is a guy Tomlin would be too chickenshit to ever start, Dennis Dixon.
I bet they wish they didnt drop Najeh.
“Ben love Najeh……………ahahhahahahaha” – Goonies style
Did your shoulder affect you at all?
I’ll never come back with an excuse. I don’t care what it is: shoulder, thumb.,leg, voted for wrong guy,hate playing in cold weather without my glove, Santonio goes left when I throw right, Arians does massive amounts of blow during game planning, I didnt watch film,I didn’t practice, upset that my nick-name isn’t the sex cannon…. No excuses. You have a game like that and it’s disappointing.
You’re obviously taking this personal. Could you explain?
If this was an individual sport and I lost the game, I wouldn’t feel so bad. Letting the guys down, letting your teammates down, it hurts. You never hear me say ‘I anything’ unless it was me saying I want a tall receiver..or I hated the fact coach wizz made me watch film..etc.
/also homer/also started Moore in 3 fantasy leagues
Ben: HI BACKUP
/crying tears of unadulterated joy
I’M SUPABEN! [crashes face first into a 1978 Dodge Swinger].
YOU CORNER GUYS MADE ME BREAK PROMISE BY CATCHING THE PASSBALLS I THREW DIRECTLY TO YOU.
What were they going to do, Ben? Not catch them? You were throwing them directly at them!
Oh…….because Hines is part korean or thai or guamanian or something like that.
That shit is hard to read even when you are sober.
That shit is hald to lead even when you ale sobel.
HI BACKUP.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
HINES SAY FAURT!
HARF HARF HARF
[Door handle fumbles for 15 seconds, then door flies open instantly]
accompanied by blaring go-go music
How restricted was his ability to throw deep?
You’d have to ask him that.
What happened on the first interception?
I don’t have the details of it at this point. It was a nice catch by (Keiwan) Rat(liff).
I love, love, love “HI BACKUP.”
/makes today a better day after a Sunday suckfest
100 hundled yalds
WOW HINES THATS LIKE A MILLION
i would love the steelers a lot more if they gave actual postgame press conferences as these KSKharacters.
FORCE PASSES INTO COVERAGE MORE FORCIBLY!
if only Sage Rosenfels had thought of this
“superfantastic”
Fol shame Hines, fol shame.
Justin Hartwig + Byron Leftwich stepping 5 yards into his throws = Fun times for Jamal Williams
I AM laughing now. I don’t give a shit about Byron Leftwich and what he’ll do to me.
Ben: NO! NONONONONONONO! I’M THE LEADER AND THE LEADER TAKES THE BLAME WHEN HE IS THE ONE CLEARLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS TEAM’S LOSS. IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. BUCK STOPS WITH THE BEN! COACH TOLD ME THAT AND THE MEDIA LIKES TO HEAR IT.
Did Ben get hit in the head and get some sense knocked back into him? Or was this a real long typo?