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THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THE JACKASS IN YOUR LIFE
three-time champs in meaningless awards
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November 2nd, 2008 at 3:45 pm
As soon as I heard “Orton left the game” I came here. How sad.
/Cues up “Love Gun” by Kiss
November 2nd, 2008 at 3:50 pm
that beats the hell outta hearing “Saved by Zero” a-fucking-gain
November 2nd, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
FUUUUUUUCCCKKKKK!!!!
I really hope that the fuckhead Neanderthal “fans” at the game don’t boo Grossman for every incompletion or mis-step. Nothing like fans who try to intentionally shatter their own QB’s confidence.
/yes I know the Cumslinger is not actually “good”.
November 2nd, 2008 at 3:56 pm
speaking of the cumslinger, Rogers last pass was grossman-esque. Beautiful ball into double coverage, and picked.
November 2nd, 2008 at 3:56 pm
So who provided the vocals?
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:01 pm
I’ve never done it before, but Grossman actually had me rolling on the floor laughing with that overthrow.
If Orton is out for the year, are the Bears front office bad enough to actually extend a guy on IR? If not, do they extend Grossman?
/Cackles
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
THROWGASM!
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Fitting that Rex’s first TD goes to Rashied Davis, whose post-TD celebration is known as “The Explosion”.
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:09 pm
The Bears’ D is utterly incompetent at this point.
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:12 pm
The saddest part is that if the Bears lose, it probably won’t be Grossman’s fault. First, the defense gives up 42 points to fucking Gus Ferrotte. Then, they give up 23 first-half points to a guy who didn’t even know not to stay inside the end zone, though as I’m typing this they “stopped” him again (though it was b/c of an Eli Manning-esque underthrow rather than anything the Bears D did).
November 2nd, 2008 at 5:14 pm
@Porky1 — me too [hangs head in shame]
/sure i’m not the only one expecting Lions to win via a pick 6
November 2nd, 2008 at 5:15 pm
FUCK IT, I’M GOING DEEP
November 2nd, 2008 at 3:23 pm
that backlog of seminal fluid is really going to charge that guy up
November 2nd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Oh for fuck’s sake…even when the D does something right, they find some way to shit on it.
No discipline, no pass rush, no ability to stop bad teams on 3rd down, giving up ridiculous numbers to mediocre-to-bad QB’s (Brian Griese, Matt Ryan, Gus Ferotte, and now Dan Orlovsky). Bob Babich needs to be fired. Right now. Not after the season: now.
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:34 pm
FUCK IT, I’m throwing to the Bills.
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:38 pm
I know Grossman loves to sling cum, but why in the hell are the Bears not giving the ball to Forte?
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Does the Sex Cannon work without Bernard Berrian?
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Happiest Bear that Kyle Orton’s Flying Circus has been sidelined? Matt Forte.
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:48 pm
FUCK IT, I’M GOING DEEP
That strategy worked so well in Super Bowl 41.
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Speaking of Flying Circuses…the Buzzsaw is clocking the team that just beat the Redskins and Cowboys, and almost beat the Pats in NE.
/impressed
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:50 pm
The Sex Cannon sticks it in!
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Women of Chicago beware, the Sex Cannon is back!
November 2nd, 2008 at 5:02 pm
…and THAT’S why you’re 0-7. And now you’re 0-8.
(I know, it’s Easterbrook, but I like the line.)
November 2nd, 2008 at 5:07 pm
…
Lovie’s insistence on giving Jason Freakin’ McKie the ball in important short-yardage situations, when he’s heretofore shown no competence in actually running for positive yardage, absolutely confuses the shit out of me.
November 2nd, 2008 at 5:14 pm
5-3 on the road to 8-8.
(Bob Babich should still be fired.)
November 2nd, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Horse Balls throws and interception, returned for the touchdown, with less that 5:00 in the game.
Meanwhile, Brady Quinn makes sure his uniforms are clean and nicely pressed before his inevitable starting job begins.
November 2nd, 2008 at 5:17 pm
“and” = an
“that” = than
Damn hangover.
November 2nd, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Leigh- if you’re a Browns fan, a hangover is not only excusable, but a necessity.
November 2nd, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Bob Babich should not be fired.
Bob Babich should be taken out behind the barn and shot, Old Yeller-style.
Also, please, PLEASE let that be a sprained for Orton.
November 2nd, 2008 at 6:03 pm
I know it’s a long shot, but someone’s gotta play this over the speakers at Soldier Field
November 2nd, 2008 at 6:40 pm
@SUKO: The division is so bad, hell the conference is so bad that they might actually go 10 – 6. Even with the Sex Cannon.
@MarionCobretti: +1 on Babich. And if you’ve got an extra round, take Angelo, too.
November 2nd, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I can’t even begin to say how much this video made my 20th year on the planet earth the best thing ever.
November 2nd, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Strange, this week I changed my fantasy team picture to a Picture of Sexy Rexy as a joke and it came through(Does anyone still sell Grossman Jerseys?). McNabb also had a Rexy-esque throw into double coverage in the endzone. It wasnt aimed for Saturn, but it was intercepted.
November 3rd, 2008 at 1:40 am
I replaced Brady with Neckbeard in my fantasy team. I am going to punch a fucking baby.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:28 am
No body throws harder, no body f–ks harder, no body is more infamous than him. And who I’am talking about, oh he goes by less tastfull names such as the sex cannon, rextacy, the cumslinger, sexy rexy and 5-0 lifetime at Lambeu field. He’s the ball cracker, death on foot you know him, you love him He’s none other than Rex Grossman. Thats right baby, NFL football’s wild child, non-conformist, anti-elitist and f–k it, im going deep persona is back on the gridiron. Get ready motherf–kers for holocaust of speed, 60 yard bombs into triple coverage and endless assaults into endzones and boredom. If ya think the 92 L.A. riots were bad, the second cumming of Rex will shake your lame ass fantasy league to its core and leave broken dreams and broken defences in his wake. Reap the whirlwind NFL fans……..