Comments on: Through the Looking Glass: ‘Ocho and Marvin’ Truer Than Previously Imagined

By: Cody

Cody — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 03:51:36 +0000

I live in Florence, KY and that’s pretty much as hot as the women there get. That Best Buy is five minutes away from my house and now I’m more pissed than anything else that I missed a chance to see this happen personally.

By: Gino Tourettesa

Gino Tourettesa — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 02:09:34 +0000

The salesgirl in the picture is talking him into buying multiple copies of Lee Carvalho’s Putting Challenge.

By: bk

bk — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 17:05:23 +0000

@porky: tldr

also, i’m sure mr. cinco made his way home with a hefty supply of that bitches cameltoe.

By: Beckified Nation

Beckified Nation — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 17:01:03 +0000

Ocho: well, i guess you’re as attractive as they come in Florence, Ky…how much are you?
white chick: umm im not for sale
ocho: I guess that makes sense you’re not electronic…or are you?

By: Nikki

Nikki — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 08:51:14 +0000

@make it snow – dammit, you stole my line.

Something about Ocho picking out appliances, electronics and operating a cell phone at the same time doesn’t mesh well. Sounds like it takes way too much brain power. And I don’t buy that “up at dawn” shiz, I’m going with STILL up at dawn.

By: porky1

porky1 — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 05:42:31 +0000

Ocho: Excuse me, white lady?
Pam: My name is Pam, sir. How may I help you?
Ocho: I’d like to purchase this “Rock Band” but I need to know which rock band comes with it.
Pam: I’m sorry?
Ocho: This just says “Rock Band” on the box. It doesn’t say which rock band is inside. Is this like one of them surprise bags you get from the ice cream man?
Pam: It’s a video game, sir.
Ocho: Yes, but which band plays with you at your house? Someone good? Like the Rolling Stones or Metallica or one of them bands Carson Palmer made the locker room listen to before he got all gimpy? I don’t want like, Air Supply or some wack shit like that. Can I get the Roots? That would be pretty tight.
Pam: Sir, you don’t understand. YOU play the game. You’re in the band.
Ocho: I don’t play any instruments, Pam. I can’t be in the band. I play football and ever since high school, that’s the rule…football or the band.
Pam: You’re not actually IN the band…
Ocho: Thank you. It’s refreshing to hear a white person get my point.
Pam: No, I mean there’s a set of plastic controllers. Instead of a video game control, you use…
Ocho: I’m sorry, Pam. I just don’t see your side of the argument.
Pam: I–argument? Sir, I’m just trying to answer your question.
Ocho: Well instead of arguing your question, why don’t you help me open this box and see what band comes with it?
Pam: Sir, it doesn’t come with a band. For starters, that box couldn’t possibly hold a real band.
Ocho: But it could.
Pam: No. It couldn’t.
Ocho: But it could.
Pam: No, it really couldn’t.
Ocho: But it could.
Pam: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. ARE YOU THAT FUCKING DENSE? I FEEL STUPIDER FOR HAVING TRIED TO HELP YOU, YOU FUCKING RETARD! IT’S A GODDAMN VIDEO GAME THAT YOU PUT IN YOUR GODDAMN SYSTEM AND PUSH THE GODDAMN CONTROLS WHILE THE GODDAMN MUSIC PLAYS! ARE YOU DONE ASKING STUPID FUCKING QUESTIONS OR DO I HAVE TO GO ON MY BREAK AND THROW MYSELF OFF THE TOP OF THE GODDAMN BUILDING?
Ocho: Wow. You seem upset, Pam.
Pam: I’m sorry, sir. You just really pushed my buttons and it’s been a long morning.
Ocho: Well, this is Ray Lewis’s Christmas gift. I’ll give you a while to calm down, and after Christmas I’m going to send him down here with a gift receipt, and you can explain to Ray why he ended up getting Journey without Steve Perry just because you wouldn’t let me look in the box beforehand.
Pam: YOU–I–sir, I’m going on a break now.
Ocho: Thank you Pam. Merry White Christmas.

By: Beastly Z

Beastly Z — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 01:05:56 +0000

I smell a new Rock Band commercial. Fuck Kobe ARod and Michael Phelps, I want Ocho on the mic and Marvin on lead guitar, probably housh on bass, cedric benson on the drums???

By: Gino Tourettesa

Gino Tourettesa — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 23:55:31 +0000

Chad grabbed two job applications on the way out.

By: Ocho Cinco Fan Club

Ocho Cinco Fan Club — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 23:31:04 +0000

in line*

By: Ocho Cinco Fan Club

Ocho Cinco Fan Club — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 23:30:40 +0000

PS- Where the fuck did Ocho do his black friday shopping? Because that store is way too empty. Unless they let him early for a photo op, in which case they’re assholes because I’m pretty sure Ocho is the last person who needs to be first in like for discounts on anything.

/Feeling sorry for the poor kid who’s dad actually needed the $40 off on that Rock Band.
//Haha yeah right. Fuck you kid!!!