Donovan McNabb: Well, I’ve never been a part of a tie. I, uh, never even knew that was in the rulebook. Um, but again, uh, it’s part of the rules and we have to go along with it, so…

Media: Wait a second, so you had no idea that the game was going to end after that Hail Mary  attempt?

Donovan: No, I just figured we’d get another opportunity to get back out there and try to win the game. But you know, the one overtime is part of the rules, so we just have to go with it. 

Media: So you mean to tell us the Eagles don’t review the NFL’s rulebook?

Donovan: Well, I’ve never been part of any sort of book club before. I really don’t even like books. Books? Am I pronouncing that correctly? But we figure everyone else knows the rules and, uh, we can go along with that. 

Media: Donovan, it’s Kelly. Do you remember me? We met at a charity function last week. You followed me back to my place and we made beautiful love on my living room floor. But then I woke up the next morning and you were gone. What gives?

Donovan: Well, I’ve never been part of a one-night stand. I, uh, never knew the true extent of my own shame. But, uh, you can leave your contact information on the table here for me to ignore. It’s just part of athletes enjoying casual sex and you just have to go with it, so…

Media: Donovan, will you be joining President-elect Obama’s cabinet as Secretary of State?

Donovan: Well, I’ve never been part of shaping foreign policy before. I, uh, never even knew that was in the Constitution, really. But uh, it’s part of the political landscape today and we just have to go with it. 

PR Lackey: We have time for one more question. 

 

Media: Donovan, does having a tie feel like kissing your sister, as they say?

Donovan: Well, I’ve never been part of an incestual relationship before. I, uh, never even knew that was socially taboo, really. But uh, it’s part of the social mores of society today and we just have to go with it.

PR Lackey: Thank you, Donovan.