The McNabb Post-Game Press Conference
Donovan McNabb: Well, I’ve never been a part of a tie. I, uh, never even knew that was in the rulebook. Um, but again, uh, it’s part of the rules and we have to go along with it, so…
Media: Wait a second, so you had no idea that the game was going to end after that Hail Mary attempt?
Donovan: No, I just figured we’d get another opportunity to get back out there and try to win the game. But you know, the one overtime is part of the rules, so we just have to go with it.
Media: So you mean to tell us the Eagles don’t review the NFL’s rulebook?
Donovan: Well, I’ve never been part of any sort of book club before. I really don’t even like books. Books? Am I pronouncing that correctly? But we figure everyone else knows the rules and, uh, we can go along with that.
Media: Donovan, it’s Kelly. Do you remember me? We met at a charity function last week. You followed me back to my place and we made beautiful love on my living room floor. But then I woke up the next morning and you were gone. What gives?
Donovan: Well, I’ve never been part of a one-night stand. I, uh, never knew the true extent of my own shame. But, uh, you can leave your contact information on the table here for me to ignore. It’s just part of athletes enjoying casual sex and you just have to go with it, so…
Media: Donovan, will you be joining President-elect Obama’s cabinet as Secretary of State?
Donovan: Well, I’ve never been part of shaping foreign policy before. I, uh, never even knew that was in the Constitution, really. But uh, it’s part of the political landscape today and we just have to go with it.
PR Lackey: We have time for one more question.
Media: Donovan, does having a tie feel like kissing your sister, as they say?
Donovan: Well, I’ve never been part of an incestual relationship before. I, uh, never even knew that was socially taboo, really. But uh, it’s part of the social mores of society today and we just have to go with it.
PR Lackey: Thank you, Donovan.
Tags: at least he didn't puke on the podium, Donovan McNabb, MMP
November 17th, 2008 at 9:11 am
I feel 6000% dumber after reading that. I don’t even feel that dumb after Ocho Cinco posts.
November 17th, 2008 at 9:46 am
geez punter that’s just… right.
November 17th, 2008 at 9:58 am
“at least he didn’t puke on the podium”
Well he puked all over my goddamned team again yesterday. 3 INTs against one of the most inept teams in the NFL? WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?!
SHIT!
November 17th, 2008 at 10:02 am
J4B: I’m no gynecologist or anything, but I’m going to take a stab here and guess that you didn’t do so well in fantasy this week. Just a hunch.
November 17th, 2008 at 10:04 am
that man is a few fries short of a happy meal
November 17th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Don’t be too hard on Donovan. Like Peyton Manning, he has been hiding one of his off-season injuries. Unfortunately, this injury required him to have a lobotomy.
November 17th, 2008 at 10:20 am
This makes me very sad. Sad because I can only wonder what might have been if the Eagles had the ball for the last possession. Can’t you just picture McNabb strolling up to line without any sense of urgency with the ball at midfield and 20 seconds left, confident that they’ll get within field goal range early in the second overtime? I like to think he would have audibled for a run play there after seeing the defense ready to play the pass.
November 17th, 2008 at 10:27 am
You know, he really has been overrated in answering questions in the past! He always seemed to get a free pass when he contradicted himself (for instance when he said “I thought we were past that- I don’t consider myself a black QB, I’m just a QB”… then played the racecard forever thereafter- “T.O. saying he’d rather play with Favre is black-on-black crime”, & “I can’t believe a black columnist would attack me that way”), or when he said things that were inherently stupid. I think it’s because everyone wanted to see a black quarterback excel at the podium since so many illiterate moronic black professional athletes have created somewhat of a stigma in that domain.
If there’s one good thing about B. Hussein Obama winning the presidency, it is this: by electing a black man as president, we have ended the era of white guilt & are finally free to state the obvious… that Donovan McNabb- in addition to being an overrated player who starts out every season strong only to revert back to his normal repertoire of underthrowing, vomiting, and choking- is, without a doubt, a mental midget.
Thank you for listening to the EIB network!
November 17th, 2008 at 10:29 am
Hey, at least he didn’t take a knee
November 17th, 2008 at 10:35 am
Books? Am I pronouncing that correctly?
+1
November 17th, 2008 at 10:44 am
If there’s one good thing about poo dick up there pretending to be Rush Limbaugh, it’s… it’s… errrr….
November 17th, 2008 at 10:53 am
WOMAN: Wait, Donovan, I didn’t come yet.
MCNABB: Really? Well, I’ve never been a part of sex when the woman didn’t come. I, uh, never even knew that was physiologically possible. Um, but again, uh, it’s part of the rules of anatomy and we have to go along with it, so…
/pukes on woman
November 17th, 2008 at 10:53 am
I still loved Andy standing on the sidelines, small grin, dumb look, tie game. I bet he was thinkin’ Arby’s!
November 17th, 2008 at 11:04 am
“poo dick”?
November 17th, 2008 at 11:06 am
SU Fan: Donovan, now that we have an opening after the firing of G Rob, do you have an opinion on where we should look for our next coach?
Donovan: Really? Well, I’ve never been a part of a coaching search before. I mean, clearly, we all think about it here in Philly…did I say that? I, uh, never even knew that was going to happen to Greg. He clearly was doing ummm… well…okay he worked hard, you know?
November 17th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Is this a good time to bitch about the NFL overtime format? Because it’s almost as fucked up as the BCS.
November 17th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Hey, they could just go to a shootout and add in bonus points.
November 17th, 2008 at 11:30 am
That’s a great idea!
November 17th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
dAndy: your hunch is correct sir. I’m so disgusted that I don’t even want to check the fantasy site this morning. At least the Boys beat the skins so I have that going for me today. But again, what the fuck Donovan?
November 17th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
if getting a tie is like kissing your sister, is tying the bengals like getting buttfucked by your uncle?
November 17th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
“I just made you up in my head, blog people.
You just made me up in your blog, blog people.”
Sorry, I just had a flash back.