The Greatest 1 p.m. Game Ever Hulaed
11.16.08
Sepia, the preferred color of old shit.
After weathering a few weeks of nigh unbearable early games, the schedule finally offers up a good 1 p.m. contest with the Ravens and Giants today. No doubt they will blubber on endlessly about this year marking the 50th anniversary of The Greatest Game Ever Played, the 1958 NFL Championship between the Baltimore Former Teams and the New York Frank Giffords. Exacerbating the liberal troweling of treacle is that it’s going to be coming from Dan Dierdorf, who scheduled to be in the booth for CBS. I think if we ever needed population control in America, and we’re getting close, the government would air one football game with Tony Kornheiser, Phil Simms and Dan Dierdorf doing the play-by-play. I know I’d fellate a handgun.
In other action, the Lions continue their death march to 0-16 at Carolina, the Neck Beard returns to face his summer camp buddy Aaron Rodgers, the Falcons and the Broncos unite in objection that the Giants and the Ravens was the worst Super Bowl of the last decade (all while I fervently deny a reality where Matt Ryan, Kurt Warner and Kerry Collins are viable MVP candidates in 2008), the Vikes and the Bucs flail around futilely in an attempt to make me care and the Chiefs will try to make it three weeks in a row where they squander an early lead against a clearly superior team.


Here’s the thing: Jingles are a valid, and often extremely effective, method of advertising. But they only work for top-of-mind sort of products and if the jingle actually gets you to remember some kind of relevant information. SBZ has clearly failed here, but don’t forget the many others that have succeeded: http://urbzen.com/2008/11/20/five-dollar-footlong-vs-saved-by-zero/
Where are the piece of shit Ravens fans?
Bunch of fucking cowards.
nice pick, marmalard.
@ Christmas Ape:
Exactly what I was thinking; win or lose (or…tie?), both the Bengals and Eagles deserve “I tried my best” ribbons like they hand out at the Special Olympics.
and the SP cripple fight is prolly more exciting than the Iggles-Bungles tard brawl
I am really kind of hoping for this Eagles/Bengals game to end in a tie
Neither team deserves to win.
oops, dad = dead
why the cat gotta eat that dad mouse? why not the mom mouse?
kerry already threw a pick
haha, giants made ray ray look like a little bitch bitch. Fuck the ravens and their pee wee league defense. By the second half the Giants were just playing with the Ravens like a cat plays with a dad mouse. where’s all the ravens fans talking smack earlier this week? JAcobs should have capped off the game by giving ray ray a hot lunch.
Ape, please post the Timmy vs. Jimmy cripple fight.
Here’s the url
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmWb0HPTB9A
Sage Rosenfels proves that Matt Cassel will be endorsing a very large check in February.
The Eagles/Bengals game might be “competitive” but only in the way a ‘tard brawl is.
I vote Meast goes to Ryan Grant and/or the Packers OL.
They beat the shit out of a Bears D that limited the Titans to 20 yards last week.
Sage Rosenfels proves, once again, that anyone can be an NFL QB.
The point is much more easily argued when there are so many legitimate candidates for measthood on the team. NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!
At this point, yes.
/also a Yankees fan
//hates himself
Is this all Giants fans have left to complain about: that their players don’t get the Meast every week?
Culpepper shits the bed!
The fat fucks on fox with pancakes on their heads: “Let me tell you something…” “I’ll tell you what…” “Goose and Moose…”
FUCK
Mathias Kiwanuka: the meast Ape shunned
I need Purple Jesus to layeth judgment upon the sinners of Tampa Bay in this drive. How the hell is my entire fantasy team playing in the early games?
Popcorn Muscles with the sack to end the game. To be fair, Jamarcus slothed his way into his arms.
Wait, Sam Madison is still alive?
There goes that Raiders lead
C’mon Andy Reid, go for the 4th and 1. You all do so great with those!
oakland is fucking ahead. could you have ever imagined in a million years oakland would be ahead?
Dual invocations of the “more competitive game” clause … it’s like a broke-ass version of Sunday Ticket!
That was so nice of Curt Menefee to let us know that Fox is switching to Min/TB because of the blowing-outness of GB/Chi.
Fabian Washington ran a sub 4.3 coming out of Nebraska. If there’s one guy who is going to catch Bradshaw, it would be him.
Bradshaw would have scored if Plax hadn’t been distracted by his mistakes.
When you’re Ahmad, you gotta make the most of the 2 touches per game you get.
Remember death is not an option: Hester playing receiver even though he has terrible hands or Hester being so tired that he falls down and goes boom when returning kicks?
Now it’s Bradshaw burning the bullshit Ravens D.
WEDGE IT!
Damn Ahmad Bradshaw needs a little extra speed. That was so awesome.
The iPhone: making it easier to be a creep, one app at a time.
I still can’t believe Tommie from Quinzee didn’t grace us with his views of the NFL’s overtime policy. I’m guessing that after careful consideration, he’s now against it, the dirty flip-flopper.
Good lord, Denver’s defense is turrible
… and New Orleans begins their regular “fourth quarter and up on the opponent? let’s fucking make this close by giving up touchdowns to Arena league QBs” decent to a loss.
OF course my fantasy opponent this week started both Cassel and Welkah…
And someone tell Willis McKneeInjury to get his ass on the field.
Saved by zero is back. Time to eat a bullet.
Sorry, I was too busy masturbating furiously to the Ravens pick-six.
The Packers are beating up on Orton so much, that Joe Buck just suggested putting in Rexy!
/smirre
You were saying, Ape?
Why must McNabb fuck Westbrook so? WHY??
Purple Jesus is going to be black, blue, green, and purple tomorrow. he’s taking a beating.
Frerotte is looking startlingly competent
Drew may start to turn on Purple Jesus with his newfound fumbleitis
Mike Carey went to the Tampa and Minnesota coaches to get them to tone down the hitting (especially after the whistle). Never seen that before, and I’ve seen every game Rodney Harrison has played since 2002.
There is simply no way that he ever had possession of that ball.
YES!
Is that a challenge-able ruling by Coughlin?
Commenter northeast bias!
Holy shit, refs, really? You ruled that a pick?
It sounds like I’m missing quite a grudge match in the Meadowlands while enjoying these actually competitive and hard-hitting games in Atlanta and Tampa.
Ward’s got some great hands for a back. It’d be great to see the Giants keep both him and Jacobs at the end of this year, as unlikely as that is.
The worst part wasn’t that they blitzed all out. The guy who had an open shot at the QB FELL DOWN. That’s ridiculous.
Stover gets the all-time consecutive PAT record. WHERE’S HIS PARADE?!
Yes, that was a great idea. Who woulda thunk that an all-out 9 man blitz was probably stupid?
That’s the one thing the Giants have done wrong–they leave Mason open on every fucking play.
And now, apparently, McClain.
Oh, and if the Giants don’t resign Jacobs, they are out of their fucking minds, and deserve to get knifed by Ray Ray
Jesus, Giants. How do you leave Mason alone like that?
Now the Ravens have gone to designed Flacco runs.
I’m crying with laughter.
We want Kenny Philips!!
Joe Flacco is the Ravens leading rusher. Just an idea of how great their offense is playing.
Someone needs to arrange a white QB scamper-off between Matt Cassel and Joe Flacco.
Rofl. McGayhee is no Brandon Jacobs. He takes better dives than a soccer player, however.
I guess they call that play the pitch-and-bitch
“Wait we haven’t blown a completely obvious call yet? Well then I guess we’re just gonna have to go ahead and manufacture a penalty now won’t we?”
Commentary of the season, via CBS:
“…that’s why you can never take your eyes off the quarterback if you’re a receiver in this offense. Jay Cutler will try and stick it into some fairly tight holes”
yes, I’m immature.
I see the Ravens have started their “We’re down by three scores, but fuck it, we’re gonna dance and shout after every tackle” bullshit
Wow. Oakland is now playing a QB even worse than Jamarcus Russell.
At least the token Eli pick came at a useless time for the Ravens. Points would have been nice though.
I’ve been so busy sporting Ravens-loss wood that I didn’t notice starting fantasy QB Donovan McNabb is shiving me in the balls.
Hey, Ray-Ray did something!
The world-beating Ravens defense jumps the snap on consecutive plays.
This is fucking embarrassing. The Steelers may have lost to the Giants, but at least they gave them a fucking game.