The Can’t Fit Into Frame Bowl: Hamgini vs. LenWhale. WHO YA GOT?
Notwithstanding the showdown of stubbly ex-alcoholic quarterbacks and the proliferation of dominating defensive tackles, one of whom has a predilection for stomping opposing centers, we just can’t resist a war of the waistlines. And so it is with known megaendomorphs Eric Mangini and LenDale White. It’s a nominally close game between teams fairly close in the standings but miles apart in talent. Of course, that’s not the spread these two are concerned about. WHO YA GOT?
Eric Mangini__________________LenDale White
Overshadowed, but not completely because they’re big, by:
Bill Belichick__________________Chris Johnson
Thanksgiving favorite
The food!______________________What he said
Eating position
Head of table______________________Wherever the scraps are
FreeDarko Spirit Animal
Paunchy circus bear____________________Exploding whale
Why shouldn’t feed him from the stands
May name child after you________________________Will probably follow you home
How many seats does he get on the plane?
Half of first class_____________________How many are in the cargo hold?
Does he outweigh the team’s center?
Yeah, but not his sister_________________Not with the labor people
Finishing move
The two-hand fried ice cream scoop_____________________Two-yard gain, one calorie loss
Tags: fat back, who ya got?, xmas ape
November 21st, 2008 at 8:03 am
#1 reason to watch the Red Zone Channel on DirecTV: When replaying LenDale White highlights, anchor Andrew Sicilliano announces “LenDale smells food!” or “LenDale is on his way to the buffet.”
Oh yeah, ManGenius is a bloated bastard.
November 21st, 2008 at 8:44 am
It’s a shame. Mangini would be cute if he weren’t such a fatass.
Is there any way both teams can lose this game? Please?
November 21st, 2008 at 8:50 am
Did she really just say that creampuff was cute?!?!
November 21st, 2008 at 8:53 am
If any fan would know a fat running back when they saw one, it’d be a steeler fan who grew up watching jerome bettis.
November 21st, 2008 at 9:05 am
Sorry, FMRA, I have to disagree. I think he radiates douche.
November 21st, 2008 at 9:19 am
LenWhale doing his best Porter impression: “STUFF MAH MOUF!”
November 21st, 2008 at 9:27 am
Aww little LenDale looks so cute. I actually saw him in Trader Joes monday in the organic section. I think he was lost.
November 21st, 2008 at 9:29 am
I give the edge to Mangini because he has video footage of of a playground fight Lendale got in back in the 6th grade so he knows his tendencies and weaknesses.
November 21st, 2008 at 9:56 am
Lendale’s tats and cornrows push himover the top. Mangini doesn’t know how to accesorize.
November 21st, 2008 at 9:58 am
I approve of any and all insults to Holly Mangold.
November 21st, 2008 at 10:11 am
I heard Lendale had his mouth permanently locked in the open position to maximize his eating potential.
November 21st, 2008 at 10:16 am
@ Favre’s Next Interception: I think Mangini’s tats are bigger. You can actually see them through his shirt. Homeboy needs a bra.
November 21st, 2008 at 10:17 am
I don’t know, Mangini does have mob ties.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWoNauDxGqc.
November 21st, 2008 at 10:17 am
They’ve got a nice pair of them bologna tits.
November 21st, 2008 at 10:17 am
this game should be on Food Network
November 21st, 2008 at 10:28 am
Mangini knows that polos have a slimming effect
November 21st, 2008 at 10:40 am
@ Stu – Standing next to Kris Jenkins also has a slimming effect.
The real loser is the post-game buffet. It never stood a chance with those two.
November 21st, 2008 at 11:48 am
What, no Peytonface vs. Marmalard? Sigh.
November 21st, 2008 at 12:14 pm
+1 UU