Notwithstanding the showdown of stubbly ex-alcoholic quarterbacks and the proliferation of dominating defensive tackles, one of whom has a predilection for stomping opposing centers, we just can’t resist a war of the waistlines. And so it is with known megaendomorphs Eric Mangini and LenDale White. It’s a nominally close game between teams fairly close in the standings but miles apart in talent. Of course, that’s not the spread these two are concerned about. WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Eric Mangini__________________LenDale White

Overshadowed, but not completely because they’re big, by:

Bill Belichick__________________Chris Johnson

Thanksgiving favorite

The food!______________________What he said

Eating position

Head of table______________________Wherever the scraps are

FreeDarko Spirit Animal

Paunchy circus bear____________________Exploding whale

Why shouldn’t feed him from the stands

May name child after you________________________Will probably follow you home

How many seats does he get on the plane?

Half of first class_____________________How many are in the cargo hold?

Does he outweigh the team’s center?

Yeah, but not his sister_________________Not with the labor people

Finishing move

The two-hand fried ice cream scoop_____________________Two-yard gain, one calorie loss