Sexy Friday Wasn’t Really Planning on It Being So Cold
The holidays are practically upon us, and with that the weather has turned cold. Really. Fucking. Cold.
I spent about half an hour walking my dog one morning this week, then came back in and brushed my teeth. And I was like, “Why is this water so warm?” I checked the temperature with my hand. Warm water. Checked the faucet. Cold. Then I realized: it was so cold outside that the inside of my mouth had gotten colder than cold faucet water.
And yet, here it is, freezing weather, and all these models are without shirts. So sad. For them, I mean.
Just look at those poor, poor women. Totally unprepared for the bitter chill of Sexy Friday. Perhaps I can warm you ladies up with some body heat?
What’s that you say? The restraining order is still in effect and you’ve already called the police?
Fine. Play hard to get. I’ll still be a gentleman. Here, put on a coat. I’d hate for you to catch… something.
Tags: captain caveman, sexy friday, walking in a winter bonerland
November 21st, 2008 at 3:25 pm
I would have consensual sex in the missionary position for the purpose of procreation with the woman wearing a jacket.
November 21st, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Let it snow, let snow, let it snow.
November 21st, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Sexiest. Friday. Ever.
November 21st, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Fur is murder.
November 21st, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Baby its cold outside.
November 21st, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Sexy Friday is in full swing and so is my boner
November 21st, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Bravo my good man, bravo!
November 21st, 2008 at 3:33 pm
I’m only dating convicts now. Are any of these girls in prison?
November 21st, 2008 at 3:33 pm
“Oh please my dear there is no need to apologies, it’s not your fault that your erect nipple poked my eye. If anyone is to blame it’s this cold weather on this particular Sexy Friday”
November 21st, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Now THIS is a Christmas Special I can get behind!
Have a Merry Christmas, A Happy Hannukah, A Kwaaaaaazy Kwaanzaa, Tip-Top Tet and a Solemn, Dignified Ramadan.
November 21st, 2008 at 3:44 pm
That first picture broe k my monitro. I hope I’m typng without errors and can ffind the submit comentb utton.
November 21st, 2008 at 3:45 pm
I would do the slow clap thing, but I have one hand kind of pre-occupied at the mOment!
November 21st, 2008 at 3:50 pm
The third chick with the little chain mail top must be a druid, because she has definitely cast a level 5 charm spell on me.
November 21st, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Cold? What are you talking about? It’s like 75 out there. Man, California is awesome.
November 21st, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Phoenix still 90. Girls still naked.
November 21st, 2008 at 4:16 pm
@Jack Kerowackoff
Yeah, but it’s Phoenix. Who wants to see a bunch of naked grandparents?
November 21st, 2008 at 4:21 pm
God I love tits.
November 21st, 2008 at 4:24 pm
“excuse me, miss. would you like to get drunk with me sometime?”
November 21st, 2008 at 4:28 pm
J’ville - it’s fucking cold as shit!!! 56 right now and low tonight almost sub 40.
November 21st, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Why didn’t I think of becoming a photographer sooner than this very moment?
Oh that’s right, you can’t rub one out every three pictures.
November 21st, 2008 at 5:04 pm
excuse me miss, do you mind if I stuff your stocking?
November 21st, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Excuse me miss, what’s your name?
Can you come, home with me?
Possibly. Can I take you out, to-night
Damn straight.
November 21st, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Those snowflakes are NOT real.
November 21st, 2008 at 5:38 pm
It’s Mandatory Holiday Party Season. The females at all the holiday functions I’ll be forced to attend this year won’t be anything like these lovely lasses- no matter how drunk I get.
This post also induces bonerific muscle-memory from the lingerie department store girl in “Christmas Vacation”.
November 21st, 2008 at 5:43 pm
@Gino
I’m with you - I would rather ogle a couch than look at some of the pigs I work with.
But these ladies, goddman does that shit look good!
November 21st, 2008 at 6:19 pm
@Otto Man
In your dreams, douchebag.
November 21st, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Hey, second from the left in the first picture! USE TWO HANDS TO CATCH DAMNIT! Didn’t anybody teach you fundamentals!
November 21st, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Also, @dAndy:
Fuck you. It fucking snowed in North Carolina today. Wah wah it was 56 here. I feel really bad for you. It will take years for my balls to unfreeze.
November 21st, 2008 at 7:03 pm
FMRA, Fake snow + fake breasts = wankin’ in a winter wonderland!
November 21st, 2008 at 7:08 pm
FMRA, Fake snow + fake breasts = wankin’ in a winter wonderland!
Remember kids, If you change your handle ONCE for a joke, you better know how to remove that thang!
November 21st, 2008 at 7:11 pm
FIX YO AVATAR!
November 21st, 2008 at 7:26 pm
The first one is what those stupid Old Navy holiday commercials should be.
November 21st, 2008 at 8:47 pm
To every girl pictured here:
SIMON SAYS… HANDS UP!
November 21st, 2008 at 9:19 pm
I wanna pay the troll toll to get into one of those girls’ holes
November 21st, 2008 at 9:49 pm
@IrishCream - +1 sir
November 21st, 2008 at 11:05 pm
ditto on the +1.
November 21st, 2008 at 11:40 pm
I don’t feel sorry for any of you with the temperature. It’s been in the high 30’s all week in NY with lows in the 20s at night and it’s only November. You know what, we put on coats, hats and scarves, sack up and deal with it. Oh yeah and it snowed really hard yesterday morning.
So bite me.
/oh yeah and it’s sooooooo not really snowing in that first pic and I still love it
November 22nd, 2008 at 12:39 am
@The Village Bike
Sexy, sexy murder.
November 22nd, 2008 at 6:38 am
Doesn’t that chick with the wine glass know anything? You’re SUPPOSED to hold a wine glass by the STEM.
November 22nd, 2008 at 7:22 am
Blondes have more dumb questions, less of a tolerance to chlorephorm……..and more fun.
November 22nd, 2008 at 12:46 pm
It was 7 degrees last night in South Bend and it has been snowing all week
Eat a Dick all you warm weather people
November 22nd, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Warm weather people! Form Voltron!
/Murrieta, CA
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:26 am
In your dreams, douchebag.
A douchebag is a hygenic product, so I take that as a compliment.