Nnamdi Asomugha is the best corner in the league. In fact, he makes Champ Bailey look like a steaming pile of puke. The Panthers tested Nnamdi but once last week and he was on that ball like Romeo Crennel on the last loaded potato skin. While not well-known among casual fans, he commands the respect of other teams, having only a dozen or so balls thrown his way this entire season. Excellence like that demands appropriate recognition. Accordingly, Nnamdi Asomugha is your Meast of the Week.
Some of you might be saying to yourselves, “No freakin’ way, the Raiders suck out loud, plus they lost last week.” If you are of that school of thought, I kindly invite you to take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. I’m tired of waiting for the Raiders to stop being inept before I give this award.
It’s hard not to pity Asomugha. He’s the best at what he does, yet he toils in the midst of the Oakland Raider shitshow. In his honor, the KSK gang sought out to recognize other superstars who are surrounded by talentless jackanapes. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
Isolated beacon of talent ——————————- Crap factory they are/were stuck with
Alec Baldwin ———————————————————————— Baldwin bros.
Cris Collinsworth ————— other 37 assclowns in NBC’s “Football Night in America” studio
Andy Samberg —————————————————————- Saturday Night Live
The Nuge ————————————————————————- Damn Yankees
Honey Nut Cheerios ————————————– All the other varieties of Cheerios
Chris Walken ———————————————————————— Suicide Kings
Jack White ————————————————————————- White Stripes
Big Daddy Drew —————————————————————————— KSK
Colin Powell ——————————————————————- Bush administration
Jeremy Piven ——————————————————————– “Entourage” cast
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
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Erin Andrews ——- Andrea Kramer, Michelle Tafoya, etc…
Chris Cornell—The rest of those hacks in Audioslave
Ditka————All those other self-important windbags on NFL Countdown
Also, Collinsworth is a first class, black belt hammer chugger. He’s an asshat of epic proportions. One more feel good monologue from him about Michael Phelps’ mother and I was going to purchase a one way ticket to Beijing and slaughter them both in a barrage bullets. God that guy angries up my blood.
Ringo_______Beatles
Football…………….Basketball, Baseball, Hockey, Olympics
playoffs of gay sports listed above …………….gay sports’ regular seasons.
and bright boy, I get the precious premise, if you are so sharp and perceptive, go write for Slate.
@ Beastly Z
Gotta disagree there,
Grandma’s Boy—————–Adam Sandler movies
@Biggus Rickus
Shouldn’t that be:
Apartment 3G———————The “funny” pages (Oh, that Margo)
Hey, there’s a commenter named “Tracer Bullet” and I believe KSK once linked to The Comics Curmudgeon, so I believe I’m well within boundaries here.
Pearls —— Oysters
Jason Bateman —— Sivler Spoons
Family Circus —— The “funny” pages (Oh, that Jeffy)
Ron Jaworski — all the other detail-oriented geeks who obsess over a subject
A.C. Slater ———————— Saved by the Bell gang
Yeah. I went there and I might just realized that I could be gay.
I forgot all about playmakers. That was the shit. A soap opera for guys.
It’s always sunny in philadelphia——shows currently on non-premium TV (dexter started on showtime, so I’ll let it slide)
as is my spelling!! haha
As are you…the Wire is a brillant show
@Day Man: you sir, are an astute man. I salute you.
@Cock Flashy
I should have clarified….I did mean active programs
Alicia Sacramone, ahhhh yeahhh, shout out to my Brown Bears. Too bad she sucks at balance beam instead of my beam.
Billy Madison/Happy Gilmore —- Adam Sandler films
The U —- federal prisons (Go Hokies!)
Playmakers —- Football-related film
Kenny Mayne —- ESPN personalities
Megan Fox —- females
The Wire —- every other television show ever made.
@Day Man: I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are comparing Flight of the Conchords to other ACTIVE HBO programs. If so, no problem. If not, please get fucked.
i’ve reconsidered and will add Hiro to the worthy “heroes.” however, the smiting of the rest of them should begin forthwith.
FMRA: Maybe you don’t understand. You are supposed to be using ———————-, not ______________!
/just picked on the wrong person here.
Booty Talk 35——–The Booty Talk Series.
The handful of commenters who understand the premise of this __________________ the scores who don’t.
@SonofDad: Damn right about Barbara Bach.
Drew Brees: other NFL quarterbacks…
Anchorman: every other Will Ferrell vehicle…
The Dark Knight: every other 2008 summer “blockbuster” …
Alicia Sacramone: people who can stay upright…
HomeStarRunner: the Internet…
nice one j4b
@FozzieBear and SonOfDad: See my last response to TDub above where I clarified my point.
OK, then here’s one that CC would appreciate – can’t believe no one else took it.
Gina Carano———-all other chicks who think they can fight
Marissa Miller —- SI Swimsuit Cover Girls (lookin at you tyra)
Hugh Hefner —- pimps
Stephen Hawking —- paraplegics
Paul Rudd —- actors in Seth Rogen/Will Ferrell movies
Conan O’Brien —- late night talk show hosts
Seth Green —- actors under 5′ tall
1st toke of the day——————–all other tokes
Crown Royal—————————all other whiskeys
Eminem —— white rappers
Dogs —— pets
Midget porn —– little people on television
Layne Staley—-All other heroin junkies
Don Draper—-Any other leading man in TV history
Betty Draper—-fictional TV Milfs
Hunter S. Thompson—-EPSN.com Page 2 hacks
Seriously? Collinsworth? Sombody’s been drinking the Koolaid. Collinsworth, on his best day, is a suppurating, gangrenous penis. Nope, don’t like him.
@J4B,
you leave that link alone, gahtdammit!!!
Son of Dad: That’s why I said ALMOST every other beverage. Besides, you can’t drink hard liquor outdoors and not be perceived as an alcoholic. Drinking beer outdoors is almost mandatory to put up with other people.
1st season Sylar — all current and former “heroes”
LeBron James — every other Cleveland professional athlete
my dog — those curs at the dog park. rabble.
FMRA – i’ll let this one pass. however, Mamacita, Slash et al may not be as generous.
Pink Floyd ——– All other classic rock
J4B:
Dude, Olga’s maybe top 10, but come on, Caroline Munro, Barbara Bach, Lana Wood, Britt Eckland, Martine Beswick, Jill St. John, Maud Adams, Famke Janssen, Isabella Scorupco, and all those French girls who did porn before they became Bond girls would like to say a word.
popped collar—————–all other indications of douchbaggery
marmalard——————–douchbags
blowjobs———————–anything else women do with their mouths
dirty sanchez—————–degrading women
dogs—————————pets
NY Giants———————-NFC East
RBP:
Whisk(e)y ————————— every other beverage
Fixed
Women naked —————- women clothed
Beer ————————— almost every other beverage
Chris Farley —————— Tommy Boy/Black Sheep/Beverly Hills Ninja
I approve of your homerism, flubby. When there is only one bright spot in an otherwise black hole, a light should be shone.
(Yes, I made myself giggle. And, yes, I know how sad that is.)
KSK’s “Beacon of Talent” Premise —- Posters’ Use of that Premise
“Other Bond Girls” are a crap factory? Really?
Smurphette and I _________________________ all other biddies
@TDub: I know almost all of them are hot, but she’s the hot one of the moment. And she’s got those eyes that make me want to do naughty things to her.
/assuming you don’t want me to take back the link to her photo
Thought of a couple more
Brett Favre—————–Every other QB
Dexter———————-Other Showtime programs
Flight of the Conchords—-Other HBO programs
@Ben: I’ve found out that this is the way it kinda breaks down in Texas:
- Dallas: redneck cuntrags
- Houston: wannabe posers
- Austin: hipster douchebags
- El Paso: half of Mexico
- San Antonio: desperate for attention
- Everywhere else: not worth mentioning
Sablesma – good to know we are not alone out there. I died a little inside last weekend when someone at a party full of strangers insisted on playing clips from the previous night’s SNL before the 1pm games. Here’s a picture to describe:
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm4294023680/tt0066921
@ Starburied – I think Leitch came out of the closet yesterday with his screed about naked women crawling on him not being a good time.
Gotta get this out before my boss comes back:
The Rock———-Michael Bay films
lingerie —– all other women’s clothing
“Life in the Fast Lane”—-The Eagles’ “Greatest Hits”
Time to piss some people off!!!
Demolition Man——Every other movie
The South————The Rest of the US
Ronald Reagan——Every other president (minus Lincoln)
Austin ——- entire fucking state of Texas
Miami Beach ——- entire fucking state of Florida
Justin Timberlake —– anyone else in a late-90s boy band
Beating off ——- Exercise
Beer from a Keg ——Beer from a bottle
Tortas Locas ——-Chipotle
Craps ——- Blackjack
Super talkative airheads ——– hipster bitches
Chris Berman ————– talented sportscasters
Heath Ledger ————— the living
Emo Eagles —————– regular emo douches
Collinsworth is the shit
Will Leitch — Closet Homosexuals
@J4B:
Take that back dude! There are so many Bond Girl beacons of talent, it will make your head spin:
famke janssen
halle berry
Sophie Marceau
The hot asian broad from that one about asians
Wait.. Cris Collinsworth has talent!?!??!?!? He’s one big open windbag!
Traci Lords——-teenagers
Golden Tate, Michael Floyd——-Notre Dame
Eating, sex——basic existence
Beyonce——————–Destiny’s Child(ren)
Hi Res weed — all other pot
Trimmed bush — fur patches
Bourbon — whiskey
breasts – just about anything
Olga Kurylenko————Other Bond Girls
whoa, whoa, whoa….BOJANGLES!
Popeyes Fried Chicken — Other Fried chicken places
Mila Kunis——-stars of That 70s Show that went on to do anything else
all of these are great except rocco youre gay for saying justin timberlake sorry but you are
but joey fatone is a fucking bad-ass. who else is that ugly, that untalented, but goes along for the ride just so he can get the pussy.
/what good is the fame if you aint fuckin the models?
Victoria B.———-Spice Girls
Forgot a couple.
The Holocaust—other genocides
Natalie Portman—jew broads
Lawrence, KS — KS
George Lucas’ story-telling talents — George Lucas’ scriptwriters (including himself)
Arrested Development — Everything other network sitcom
Joan Jett — The Runaways
Microsoft Office — Microsoft Vista
… and now to (hopefully) start a flame war …
Intelligent republicans — 21st century Republican Party
Ontario — Quebec
Matt Cassell—other backup QBs
Morning shit—all other shits
Scarlett Johanssen’s tits—tits of other starlets
Barack Obama—other black people
Hail Asomugha! He almost caught that shitbird Panther last week on the disastrous TD run.
Bertnasty: That made me laugh quite hard. I do miss a good Billy Madison reference. Well played sir.
That last one was meant to read “Cheesy Song-Related Dances”
Asomugha is a meast every week. And if I could find a way to pry him out of Oakland, I’d do it. Unfortunately, he’s kept locked up next to Al Davis’ crypt. And there ain’t no way I’m going in there!
BTW, my list:
Diane Lane —————- Women Over 50
Snake Eyes ————— Every Other G.I.Joe (even Sgt. Slaughter)
The Humpty Dance ——- Cheesy Song-Related Dance Songs
Justin Timberlake — ‘N Sync
Slash——–Guns N Roses