Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week Award: Nnamdi Asomugha
Nnamdi Asomugha is the best corner in the league. In fact, he makes Champ Bailey look like a steaming pile of puke. The Panthers tested Nnamdi but once last week and he was on that ball like Romeo Crennel on the last loaded potato skin. While not well-known among casual fans, he commands the respect of other teams, having only a dozen or so balls thrown his way this entire season. Excellence like that demands appropriate recognition. Accordingly, Nnamdi Asomugha is your Meast of the Week.
Some of you might be saying to yourselves, “No freakin’ way, the Raiders suck out loud, plus they lost last week.” If you are of that school of thought, I kindly invite you to take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. I’m tired of waiting for the Raiders to stop being inept before I give this award.
It’s hard not to pity Asomugha. He’s the best at what he does, yet he toils in the midst of the Oakland Raider shitshow. In his honor, the KSK gang sought out to recognize other superstars who are surrounded by talentless jackanapes. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
Isolated beacon of talent ——————————- Crap factory they are/were stuck with
Alec Baldwin ———————————————————————— Baldwin bros.
Cris Collinsworth ————— other 37 assclowns in NBC’s “Football Night in America” studio
Andy Samberg —————————————————————- Saturday Night Live
The Nuge ————————————————————————- Damn Yankees
Honey Nut Cheerios ————————————– All the other varieties of Cheerios
Chris Walken ———————————————————————— Suicide Kings
Jack White ————————————————————————- White Stripes
Big Daddy Drew —————————————————————————— KSK
Colin Powell ——————————————————————- Bush administration
Jeremy Piven ——————————————————————– “Entourage” cast
Tags: After 2+ years feels entitled to brief moment of homerism, ksk group posts, oakland raiders, Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week
November 13th, 2008 at 8:13 am
Shouldn’t that be:
Jeremy Piven – Entourage “cast”
November 13th, 2008 at 8:15 am
i think you’re confusing cris collinsworth with someone else. i don’t know who, but there’s no way he’s an “isolated beacon of talent.”
November 13th, 2008 at 8:21 am
my cock———————————the rest of my body
November 13th, 2008 at 8:25 am
tito jackson——————-jackson 5
Jesus————————-the apostles
Jenna Haze——————the gangbang that’s full of dudes
Cecily Tynan—————-Channel 6 Action News Team in Philly
Crawfish———————Gumbo
The Fish———————-American Dad
Breadsticks——————Olive Garden
November 13th, 2008 at 8:29 am
cheesy biscuits——-red lobster
November 13th, 2008 at 8:33 am
Brett Favre—————Deanna Favre/the Jets/the NFL
That bitch is dragging you under. She can’t possibly love you like I can!
Peter King
November 13th, 2008 at 8:42 am
O’Doyle ———- any other student in the Knibb school system
November 13th, 2008 at 8:45 am
KSK — sports blogosphere
November 13th, 2008 at 8:48 am
creed bratton —- the office
November 13th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Men with Balls ….. The Library
November 13th, 2008 at 8:52 am
the Soup ——— E! Entertainment Television
November 13th, 2008 at 8:54 am
ham cubes ——- salad bar
November 13th, 2008 at 9:03 am
KFC Mac n Cheese — The rest of KFC’s menu
November 13th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Beej from buddy’s hot sister — Having to go to buddy’s parent’s house for Thanksgiving
What?
November 13th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Me———–The state of Ohio
November 13th, 2008 at 9:09 am
KSK Fantasy Sex Mailbag——————Meast of the week
November 13th, 2008 at 9:11 am
AC—-New Jersey
November 13th, 2008 at 9:15 am
Drew ——— Deadspin
+10 Optimus Prime Minister (I subscribe to the Riley Freeman view of cheesy biscuits)
November 13th, 2008 at 9:23 am
garth algar——–any of dana carvey’s other characters
November 13th, 2008 at 9:26 am
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second
This week’s choice of Meast, while logical and inspired, reflects a level of knowledge and forethought that I am not comfortable with on this site.
What’s next, applauding Joshua Cribbs for outstanding achievement in the field of Gunning?
November 13th, 2008 at 9:35 am
Above Flubby post ——————– Other Flubby posts
November 13th, 2008 at 9:40 am
Funshine Bear ————- Rest of Care Bears
November 13th, 2008 at 9:43 am
OOPS WRONG SITE
November 13th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Andy Samberg is a beacon of nothing, except my rage at his liberal arts college improv class antics.
November 13th, 2008 at 9:48 am
Johnny Rico ———– Roughnecks
November 13th, 2008 at 9:49 am
Scott Van Pelt —– ESPN (Really shouldn’t have been available at the 25th comment)
Mary Louise Parker —— Weeds
Classic Albums —— Every other show on VH1 Classic
Opium —– Afghanistan
November 13th, 2008 at 9:50 am
target=”_blank”>Christmas Ape———Washington Post
November 13th, 2008 at 9:50 am
my girlfriend’s tits ——- my girlfriend
November 13th, 2008 at 9:51 am
Let’s try that one again…
Christmas Ape——-Washington Post
November 13th, 2008 at 9:53 am
Slash——–Guns N Roses
November 13th, 2008 at 10:05 am
Justin Timberlake — ‘N Sync
November 13th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Asomugha is a meast every week. And if I could find a way to pry him out of Oakland, I’d do it. Unfortunately, he’s kept locked up next to Al Davis’ crypt. And there ain’t no way I’m going in there!
BTW, my list:
Diane Lane —————- Women Over 50
Snake Eyes ————— Every Other G.I.Joe (even Sgt. Slaughter)
The Humpty Dance ——- Cheesy Song-Related Dance Songs
November 13th, 2008 at 10:12 am
That last one was meant to read “Cheesy Song-Related Dances”
November 13th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Bertnasty: That made me laugh quite hard. I do miss a good Billy Madison reference. Well played sir.
November 13th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Matt Cassell—other backup QBs
Morning shit—all other shits
Scarlett Johanssen’s tits—tits of other starlets
Barack Obama—other black people
Hail Asomugha! He almost caught that shitbird Panther last week on the disastrous TD run.
November 13th, 2008 at 10:24 am
Lawrence, KS — KS
George Lucas’ story-telling talents — George Lucas’ scriptwriters (including himself)
Arrested Development — Everything other network sitcom
Joan Jett — The Runaways
Microsoft Office — Microsoft Vista
… and now to (hopefully) start a flame war …
Intelligent republicans — 21st century Republican Party
Ontario — Quebec
November 13th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Forgot a couple.
The Holocaust—other genocides
Natalie Portman—jew broads
November 13th, 2008 at 10:33 am
Victoria B.———-Spice Girls
November 13th, 2008 at 10:36 am
all of these are great except rocco youre gay for saying justin timberlake sorry but you are
but joey fatone is a fucking bad-ass. who else is that ugly, that untalented, but goes along for the ride just so he can get the pussy.
/what good is the fame if you aint fuckin the models?
November 13th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Mila Kunis——-stars of That 70s Show that went on to do anything else
November 13th, 2008 at 10:39 am
Popeyes Fried Chicken — Other Fried chicken places
November 13th, 2008 at 10:40 am
whoa, whoa, whoa….BOJANGLES!
November 13th, 2008 at 10:41 am
Olga Kurylenko————Other Bond Girls
November 13th, 2008 at 10:43 am
Hi Res weed — all other pot
Trimmed bush — fur patches
Bourbon — whiskey
breasts – just about anything
November 13th, 2008 at 10:43 am
Beyonce——————–Destiny’s Child(ren)
November 13th, 2008 at 10:44 am
Traci Lords——-teenagers
Golden Tate, Michael Floyd——-Notre Dame
Eating, sex——basic existence
November 13th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Wait.. Cris Collinsworth has talent!?!??!?!? He’s one big open windbag!
November 13th, 2008 at 10:47 am
@J4B:
Take that back dude! There are so many Bond Girl beacons of talent, it will make your head spin:
famke janssen
halle berry
Sophie Marceau
The hot asian broad from that one about asians
November 13th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Will Leitch — Closet Homosexuals
November 13th, 2008 at 10:58 am
Collinsworth is the shit
November 13th, 2008 at 11:00 am
Chris Berman ————– talented sportscasters
Heath Ledger ————— the living
Emo Eagles —————– regular emo douches
November 13th, 2008 at 11:04 am
Beating off ——- Exercise
Beer from a Keg ——Beer from a bottle
Tortas Locas ——-Chipotle
Craps ——- Blackjack
Super talkative airheads ——– hipster bitches
November 13th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Austin ——- entire fucking state of Texas
Miami Beach ——- entire fucking state of Florida
Justin Timberlake —– anyone else in a late-90s boy band
November 13th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Time to piss some people off!!!
Demolition Man——Every other movie
The South————The Rest of the US
Ronald Reagan——Every other president (minus Lincoln)
November 13th, 2008 at 11:10 am
“Life in the Fast Lane”—-The Eagles’ “Greatest Hits”
November 13th, 2008 at 11:16 am
lingerie —– all other women’s clothing
November 13th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Gotta get this out before my boss comes back:
The Rock———-Michael Bay films
November 13th, 2008 at 11:20 am
@ Starburied – I think Leitch came out of the closet yesterday with his screed about naked women crawling on him not being a good time.
November 13th, 2008 at 11:26 am
Sablesma – good to know we are not alone out there. I died a little inside last weekend when someone at a party full of strangers insisted on playing clips from the previous night’s SNL before the 1pm games. Here’s a picture to describe:
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm4294023680/tt0066921
November 13th, 2008 at 11:29 am
@Ben: I’ve found out that this is the way it kinda breaks down in Texas:
- Dallas: redneck cuntrags
- Houston: wannabe posers
- Austin: hipster douchebags
- El Paso: half of Mexico
- San Antonio: desperate for attention
- Everywhere else: not worth mentioning
November 13th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Thought of a couple more
Brett Favre—————–Every other QB
Dexter———————-Other Showtime programs
Flight of the Conchords—-Other HBO programs
November 13th, 2008 at 11:36 am
@TDub: I know almost all of them are hot, but she’s the hot one of the moment. And she’s got those eyes that make me want to do naughty things to her.
/assuming you don’t want me to take back the link to her photo
November 13th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Smurphette and I _________________________ all other biddies
November 13th, 2008 at 11:48 am
KSK’s “Beacon of Talent” Premise —- Posters’ Use of that Premise
“Other Bond Girls” are a crap factory? Really?
November 13th, 2008 at 11:49 am
I approve of your homerism, flubby. When there is only one bright spot in an otherwise black hole, a light should be shone.
(Yes, I made myself giggle. And, yes, I know how sad that is.)
November 13th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Women naked —————- women clothed
Beer ————————— almost every other beverage
Chris Farley —————— Tommy Boy/Black Sheep/Beverly Hills Ninja
November 13th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
RBP:
Whisk(e)y ————————— every other beverage
Fixed
November 13th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
popped collar—————–all other indications of douchbaggery
marmalard——————–douchbags
blowjobs———————–anything else women do with their mouths
dirty sanchez—————–degrading women
dogs—————————pets
NY Giants———————-NFC East
November 13th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
J4B:
Dude, Olga’s maybe top 10, but come on, Caroline Munro, Barbara Bach, Lana Wood, Britt Eckland, Martine Beswick, Jill St. John, Maud Adams, Famke Janssen, Isabella Scorupco, and all those French girls who did porn before they became Bond girls would like to say a word.
November 13th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Pink Floyd ——– All other classic rock
November 13th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
1st season Sylar — all current and former “heroes”
LeBron James — every other Cleveland professional athlete
my dog — those curs at the dog park. rabble.
FMRA – i’ll let this one pass. however, Mamacita, Slash et al may not be as generous.
November 13th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Son of Dad: That’s why I said ALMOST every other beverage. Besides, you can’t drink hard liquor outdoors and not be perceived as an alcoholic. Drinking beer outdoors is almost mandatory to put up with other people.
November 13th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
@J4B,
you leave that link alone, gahtdammit!!!
November 13th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Seriously? Collinsworth? Sombody’s been drinking the Koolaid. Collinsworth, on his best day, is a suppurating, gangrenous penis. Nope, don’t like him.
November 13th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Layne Staley—-All other heroin junkies
Don Draper—-Any other leading man in TV history
Betty Draper—-fictional TV Milfs
Hunter S. Thompson—-EPSN.com Page 2 hacks
November 13th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Eminem —— white rappers
Dogs —— pets
Midget porn —– little people on television
November 13th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
1st toke of the day——————–all other tokes
Crown Royal—————————all other whiskeys
November 13th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Marissa Miller —- SI Swimsuit Cover Girls (lookin at you tyra)
Hugh Hefner —- pimps
Stephen Hawking —- paraplegics
Paul Rudd —- actors in Seth Rogen/Will Ferrell movies
Conan O’Brien —- late night talk show hosts
Seth Green —- actors under 5′ tall
November 13th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
@FozzieBear and SonOfDad: See my last response to TDub above where I clarified my point.
OK, then here’s one that CC would appreciate – can’t believe no one else took it.
Gina Carano———-all other chicks who think they can fight
November 13th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
nice one j4b
November 13th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
@SonofDad: Damn right about Barbara Bach.
Drew Brees: other NFL quarterbacks…
Anchorman: every other Will Ferrell vehicle…
The Dark Knight: every other 2008 summer “blockbuster” …
Alicia Sacramone: people who can stay upright…
HomeStarRunner: the Internet…
November 13th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
The handful of commenters who understand the premise of this __________________ the scores who don’t.
November 13th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Booty Talk 35——–The Booty Talk Series.
November 13th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
FMRA: Maybe you don’t understand. You are supposed to be using ———————-, not ______________!
/just picked on the wrong person here.
November 13th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
i’ve reconsidered and will add Hiro to the worthy “heroes.” however, the smiting of the rest of them should begin forthwith.
November 13th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
The Wire —- every other television show ever made.
@Day Man: I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are comparing Flight of the Conchords to other ACTIVE HBO programs. If so, no problem. If not, please get fucked.
November 13th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Alicia Sacramone, ahhhh yeahhh, shout out to my Brown Bears. Too bad she sucks at balance beam instead of my beam.
Billy Madison/Happy Gilmore —- Adam Sandler films
The U —- federal prisons (Go Hokies!)
Playmakers —- Football-related film
Kenny Mayne —- ESPN personalities
Megan Fox —- females
November 13th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
@Cock Flashy
I should have clarified….I did mean active programs
November 13th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
@Day Man: you sir, are an astute man. I salute you.
November 13th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
As are you…the Wire is a brillant show
November 13th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
as is my spelling!! haha
November 13th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
It’s always sunny in philadelphia——shows currently on non-premium TV (dexter started on showtime, so I’ll let it slide)
November 13th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
I forgot all about playmakers. That was the shit. A soap opera for guys.
November 13th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
A.C. Slater ———————— Saved by the Bell gang
Yeah. I went there and I might just realized that I could be gay.
November 13th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Ron Jaworski — all the other detail-oriented geeks who obsess over a subject
November 13th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Pearls —— Oysters
Jason Bateman —— Sivler Spoons
Family Circus —— The “funny” pages (Oh, that Jeffy)
November 13th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
@Biggus Rickus
Shouldn’t that be:
Apartment 3G———————The “funny” pages (Oh, that Margo)
Hey, there’s a commenter named “Tracer Bullet” and I believe KSK once linked to The Comics Curmudgeon, so I believe I’m well within boundaries here.
November 13th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
@ Beastly Z
Gotta disagree there,
Grandma’s Boy—————–Adam Sandler movies
November 13th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Football…………….Basketball, Baseball, Hockey, Olympics
playoffs of gay sports listed above …………….gay sports’ regular seasons.
and bright boy, I get the precious premise, if you are so sharp and perceptive, go write for Slate.
November 13th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Ringo_______Beatles
November 13th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Ditka————All those other self-important windbags on NFL Countdown
Also, Collinsworth is a first class, black belt hammer chugger. He’s an asshat of epic proportions. One more feel good monologue from him about Michael Phelps’ mother and I was going to purchase a one way ticket to Beijing and slaughter them both in a barrage bullets. God that guy angries up my blood.
November 13th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Chris Cornell—The rest of those hacks in Audioslave
November 14th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Erin Andrews ——- Andrea Kramer, Michelle Tafoya, etc…