Resurgent Colts. Unsurgent Chargers. It’s Another Game That Looked Great Before the Season Started!
Two teams hanging on the fringes of playoff possibility (and the Chargers only because they play in the AFC West) meet for the first time since the Volektricity memorably backed up Marmalard’s vicious taunts of Indy fans in what was the final game ever in the RCA Dome. Now the Colts can effectively end the Chargers season and do a big favor to their own Wild Card aspirations with another road victory over an AFC rival.
But who gives a shit? We demand more cheerleader goodness, NBC. You were so good about it when New England was in town. If I have to deal with the sulking expressions of Dungy, Norval and Pey-Pey with no cheerleader chaser, so help me I’ll switch over to Dexter. I’ll do it! I mean it!
Tags: indianapolis colts, marmalard, open thread, pey-pey, san diego chargers, xmas ape
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:48 pm
I feel a Chargers win here. I feel more smarmalordiness. That’s smarminess + marmalordiness.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Make that smarmalArdiness. I forgot to add ‘Marmalard’ to my spell checker.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:55 pm
No, yes.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Hm…I’m torn between this and the 24 TV Movie.
Jack Bauer escorting a pack of schoolchildren through a war-torn African country? Or Laserface versus fetushead?
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:01 pm
I’m keeping it on the AMA awards on ABC. Then I’m gonna cut my penis off. Not particularly in that order.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:02 pm
AMA awards is redundant yes?
/cutting penis off
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:03 pm
“Minnesota, Chicago, Green Bay…all battling themselves to see who gets to lose in the first round of the playoffs.” Fuck you, Collinsworth. Why must you speak the truth?! :(
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:07 pm
You are not Collinsworthy!
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Man, what the fuck happened to the Jaguars? That’s just depressing to see.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Oh fuck its a giant Chargers cheerleader run to the hills
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:11 pm
@Jewish Genes: I’d cut my penis off after the AMAs. At least you can look forward to something later.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Touche!
/bleeding to death
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:13 pm
JG – if you’re really going to watch the AMA’s, holler if someone good performs.
Wonder if Kings of Leon or The New Pornographers mainstream enough to make an appearance yet…
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:20 pm
So the Chargers need another 6 INT performance from Peyton and 2 TDs on special teams to win? Thanks Mr. Madden! Now get me some turducken, fatso.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Let me check the itinerary…..Christina Aguilera, Natasha Bedeingfield, Beyonce, Mariah Carey, Coldplay, Miley Cyrus, The Fray, Jonas Brothers, Alicia Keys, Annie Lennox, Leona Lewis, Ne-Yo, New Kids on teh Block, Pink, Pussycat Dolls, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Kanye West
So if you like good music….watch football.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:22 pm
I used to love the old NFL on NBC theme when the channel had AFC coverage in the ’90s. I still can’t get over how much I dislike the SNF music.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:23 pm
I’ve been following this ‘ESPN Streak for the Cash’ business and some cat with 23 wins (it’s 25 straight to win one million) has the Colts. Man, that’s kinda risky – I’d wait and take the ain’ts tomorrow.
Apparently someone got to 24 and lost on the Panthers this morning – true sports gamblers know to STAY AWAY FROM THE PANTHERS.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:24 pm
The SNF music sounds like a John Williams score on cocaine.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Al Michaels just said “Addai is the running black”. What a crotchety old racist.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Al gets instant coke dick from that music and the sound of his own voice reverberating in the headphones
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Let me see if I can do this: “Bap bap bap-bap-baaaaah-baaahhh… bada-badah-badah-bahadda-baah!”
That’s the SNF score, see? Yeah, I need some more beer.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:32 pm
That’s right – gratuitous cheerleader shot after the opening drive. Good job, NBC.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:36 pm
That 3rd down pass was a fuckin laser!
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:36 pm
@Rich
That is very well done. Can I request CBS’ theme? After you drink copious amounts of course.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Madden called PeyPey ‘Satan Manning’…
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Colts need to lose in case it comes down to a wild card tiebreaker between them and the Steelers. Not that I think the Ravens can overtake for the AFC North…but just in case.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:40 pm
I can’t believe it, there’s actually a wikipedia article on the music. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NFL_on_NBC_music#1990s
Some of the links are broken, but is this the one? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBGi9lEQXUw
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:41 pm
I look at it the other way, Allie. The Colts hold the tiebreaker over both the Ravens and the Pats, and can keep one of them out of the playoffs.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Colts need to win so 7-9 will win the AFC West. Then the NFL will turn to the BCS in lieu of the retarded system that allows a 7-9 team to make the playoffs.
-Bill Plaschke
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Good thing I took my medicine, otherwise I don’t think the old ticker could take this much excitement.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:44 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kl4omgCgDwI&feature=related
I like that version better, robocats
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:51 pm
I hate NBC, our local affiliate doesn’t broadcast in HD…
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Where are you, Wasilla?
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:52 pm
I considered that angle as well, Ape..
As much as I hate the Ravens though I might rather want to play them in the playoffs than the Colts, who already beat the Steelers once. Either way the outcome is alright; to be honest I just like to see Manning face when the Colts lose.
Have the Colts even run the ball at all yet?
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:55 pm
I get the HD picture, but not the 5.1 sound which is nonsense. I demand to hear Al and John in 5.1!
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:58 pm
I wonder if the fans in Sandy Ago are chanting “fruit sal-ad! fruit sal-ad!” or “take a hike! take a hike!”
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:00 pm
FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAT!
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Man, that’s the second, horrifying close-up of Norv’s neck tonight.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:00 pm
[Ball hangs in the air until the economic recession is over]
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:01 pm
did that ball tumble end over end? I’ve seen punts with less arc.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Did someone let go of their balloon?
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:03 pm
HEY SAMOAN GUY, GET TO THE CHOPPA!
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:04 pm
“I try to do handstands for you. I try to handstands for you.”
Fucking iPod commercial. Can’t…get catchy…pop tune…out…of head.
/drinks copious amounts of paint thinner
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:05 pm
NFL Network Voice-Over Guy: “…and Donovan McNabb’s Eagles are poised to strike!”
Mulligan?
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:06 pm
I think the turning point in LaToeInjury’s career was when he said the words ‘you don’t mock another man’s dance.’ He hasn’t been the same since.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Shit, here comes Charlie Brown to kick a field goal.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:07 pm
jesus, there’s no bigger myth in the NFL than Freeney being a good pass rusher. That spin move takes him out of more plays.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:08 pm
DANGER: HIGH BOLTAGE
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:08 pm
To be fair, he almost got to breathe on Rivers after he already released the ball on that one.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Was that the waterboy with the signal on the sidelines? That’s some high-quality H2O!
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:13 pm
First of five Pey-pey picks
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:16 pm
Rare to see a duck fly 2 inches from the ground.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Throwing to the tall kid is a great plan when your passes prove the Bernoulli Principle.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:17 pm
that arm motion looks like an East German woman putting the shot.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Here’s a phrase you won’t hear often: “Good move by Rivers.”
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:20 pm
I’m not sure if I should eat some chocolate bundt cake or drink the rest of the chardonnay. Either way my gas should be powerful enough to lift my bedroom tonight.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Keep throwing to the tall kids. Good plan.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Good to see Jon Hamm will take over for George Clooney in the stud actor department.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Giving Rosie another show is like giving Denny Green another team to coach
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Marmalard yelling at Merriman on the sidelines. “Remember if I win, no rape!”
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Fuck it, I’m eating the cake and drinking the wine. I sense a win tonight.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:32 pm
There it is! Don’t choke, Manning!
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:33 pm
When Tony Ugoh false starts, he doesn’t half-ass it.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Tony Yugo?
What country is this car from?
It no longer exists… Put it in H!
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:39 pm
It’s in the 60s in San Diego tonight. Feels colder.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Doesn’t get any more marmalardian than that.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:46 pm
What country is this car from?
She’ll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene!
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:47 pm
The SNF highlight reel music is EPIC.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:48 pm
whew. 17 first downs? I’m all tuckered out.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Can’t wait for the Colbert Christmas special.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:50 pm
“Giving Rosie another show is like giving Denny Green another team to coach”
How? One is a highly entertaining journey through the ups and downs of life and the other is a show featuring Rosie O’Donnell.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:50 pm
You ought to see Crazy Zagreb’s “Saved by Zero” commercials.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Did Collinsworth get that tie from Ted Baxter?
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:53 pm
I’ll tell you what will move Coors light–Rosie O’Donnell.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:54 pm
In the spirit of the holiday:
http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=2682172
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Gobbles!
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Les ven!
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:03 pm
@Slothrop…
If by that you mean move out of my stomach, back up through my throat, and into a toilet, I hear ya.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Give Peyton a wheelchair and he could be a live-action Timmy.
“Peyton! Libba-lau! Libb-lau! Peyton!”
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:05 pm
@porky: that sounds about right for Coors’ target audience. I favored Natty Light myself for my drink until I puke soirees.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:09 pm
I am utterly intrigued by this ESPN Streak for the Cash contest – I’m looking at these people with 20+ straight correct picks. I don’t think I’ve ever in my life made double-digit correct picks in a row, or known anyone who has done such.
I see the site shows the percentages of people picking one way or another, maybe if you just go with the flow for a while…? But still, 20 straight. Come on.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:14 pm
I see the Colts learned something from the Steelers: call the same ineffective play on the goal line twice in a row
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:18 pm
I will keep posting this until we can declare a game a cripple fight. Last week’s CIN-PHI game was probably pretty close, but nobody ran with it.
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/104200
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:18 pm
EPIC GOAL LINE BATTLE
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:18 pm
The Raiders have been doing that for 2/3 of a season until a light bulb went off in Cable’s head today and instead of choking Fargas up the middle, they actually *gasp* tried their #1 pick running back going away from the middle.
Granted, under most circumstances the Broncos couldn’t consistently stop an offense featuring 11 clones of Leopold “Butters” Stotch…
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:20 pm
dammit, Chargers, you have two jobs here: 1: Win. 2: Blow out one or more of Peyton’s joints. These goals can be accomplished if you are willing to work at them.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:23 pm
Give Marmalard a pair of crutches and you’ve got Jimmy.
“Wow, what great audience!”
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:25 pm
But if the Chargers lose some kid will be one pick away from winning a million dollars. Can you imagine? Find one lock and win a million bucks.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:28 pm
On the other hand if the Chargers win I’ll have some money to gamble with on Turkey Day. Gobble gobble.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:29 pm
I wonder if the kid looking for a lock will take Tennessee over Detroit
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Is the line out on Tennessee-Detroit? Is it in the 07 Pats’ range?
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Probably not coming off a loss. It’ll probably be in the 11-14 range on the road
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Very suspect penalty right there
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:34 pm
If I were him I’d milk it for a while, do a few talk show appearances, write a memoir.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Peyton: “why didn’t you stay inbounds?”
Harrison: “I’m 40″
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:35 pm
What’s the over / under on attendance at Ford Field? 20K?
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:37 pm
I thought the Bolts would bring more than this with the season on the line.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Titans fans don’t travel that well, Slothrop.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Too bad Tennessee lost today; an 11-0 team vs. an 0-11 squad on Thanksgiving would’ve been a little more interesting.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:44 pm
My college roommate had nuggnuts. They finally had to get him on penicillin to cure it.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:46 pm
I’m gonna dip my bawls in it!
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Strange game – Colts are ahead and they’re throwing the ball, Bolts are behind and they’re running…
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:52 pm
The way your defense has been playing, you may want to consider attempting to recover an onside kick here.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:54 pm
tommy from quinzee says: HEY DUNGY YA DAHKIE. YA FUH-GAWT ABOUT HESTAH!
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:55 pm
That new Bond is OK, but after seeing it I’ve realized that Casino Royale is the best Bond movie.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:57 pm
The old one with Woody Allen, right?
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Thank you, Nissan for offering your 0% financing in a tasteful and decent manner.
Fuck you, Rosie O’Donnell.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:59 pm
Double Stuf on the Colts on 3rd down
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Great return, Tiny Darren
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Hold me close my Tiny Darrrren… count the headlights on the hiiiiighway….
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:09 pm
5 points – that’s all I need to win this week. I have LT and Pey-Pey…. and I ain’t gonna get my 5 points.
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:09 pm
LaHandInjury?
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Season on the line, LT. No pressure. 4-7.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Dangit – the above is supposed to be in a vintage Calculon soul-rending scream of anguish, but apparently the software don’t like brackets.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:10 pm
With one million dollars on the line, Charlie Brown is kicking the field goal.
My money’s on the kid who’s attempting to win the million.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Screencap of Ms. Flotation Devices 2008 plz.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Refresh me: unlimited overtimes, right?
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Can we stop calling Vinateri one of the best kickers in the league yet? Please????
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Way to give the Colts a free timeout, refs.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:15 pm
He wasn’t even close. The fact that they stopped play and gave Indy a chance to call a play is appalling.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Beat me to the punch, Ape.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Do the Colts get tea and crumpets during their free break?
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:19 pm
AND THEY’RE MEASURING TOO?!
Jesus.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:19 pm
“This looks like it’s going to be two inches either way.”
Thatswhatshesaid!
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Punt!
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Please miss. The refs gave them this chance.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:23 pm
THAT’S NOT WHAT IRONY MEANS, AL! Fuck.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Jesus Fucking Christ…are they sure they didn’t want to measure it twice? I think Pey Pey looked a little confused on some of the finer points of the play.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Well this is a pickle.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Noonan!
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Neuter!
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Oh, the butterflies.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:25 pm
It was all jokes before, but Merrimen really IS going to rape someone tonight
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Vegas absolutely got hurt on this one. Oh my did they get hurt on this one.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Welp, that wasn’t much of a surprise.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:25 pm
It’s gonna be great when the 8-8 Broncos get a home playoff game.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Man, some kid in San Francisco (he really should remove all personal info from his ESPN profile) is one pick away from a million dollars.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Thanksgiving Day Lock: Drinking lots of Scotch and secretly burning one behind the garage so I can stand my relatives.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Never thought I’d say this but I feel bad for Marmalard. He deserves better than this team. I’d welcome him with open arms to Philly next year…
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:29 pm
In the words of Bill Simmons, “That was a YOOGE game!”
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:29 pm
“There’s another word we use, but guts will do.”
YOU CAN SAY BALLS ON TEEVEE, PEYTON
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:32 pm
No he can’t, Ape. It would set a bad example for Elisha.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:37 pm
VIKINGS vs. BEARS next week.
Skål Vikings, you bitch-titted assclowns!
November 24th, 2008 at 12:06 am
Bear Down, Gino.
November 24th, 2008 at 12:10 am
RAIDERS!
YES!
November 24th, 2008 at 12:13 am
I thought it was “Skol Vikings” as in “I have to name drop the cheap ass shit vodka I have to drink to watch Brad Childress destroy Purple Jesus’ health and psyche, one game at a time”?
In other news, the Colts are pushing the Pats out of the playoffs as of today. They hold the edge in tiebreakers against pretty much everyone. And have the easiest schedule in football from here on out.
Can we officially call them “The team that no one wants to play in rounds 1-4″?
November 24th, 2008 at 12:32 am
@ PE
Heigh-o!
@ Monkey Business
I didn’t know Skol was a vodka brand, but a quick google search confirms it is- and is rather cheap. The part about “…I have to drink to watch Brad Childress destroy Purple Jesus’ health and psyche, one game at a time” is quite true. Skål Drunkeness!
November 24th, 2008 at 9:02 am
@ Gino: I second the T-day lock except substituing crown for scotch!
November 24th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Hey–
Me and a bunch of my office buddies love this site–it’s awesome. But recently a bunch of us got in trouble for looking at it at work (because of all the boobies that pop up on screen). Apparently looking at sites with half naked women is not respectful or work friendly…??
We were hoping that you would consider not including the boob shots until after the jumps–that way we (and I’m sure tons of other office fans like us) can enjoy the site at work without getting fired.