Racist Bandwagon Massholes vs. Omnipresent Obnoxious Yinzers. WHO YA GOT?
Two of the NFL’s more hackle-raising fanbases convene at the stadium where it now costs a small fortune to tailgate (it’s gotten so bad even Simmons hates it! Oh heavens!) to renew their recently one-sided rivalry. The rest of the NFL will no doubt be pulling for the meteor, while a game full of postseason implications plays out before thousands of breathless dickheads. So hold your nose while you pick WHO YA GOT?
Bored Red Sox fans_____________Steelers fans
Bandwagon established
Six years ago______________1970s
Distinguishing features
Red Sox hat with purposefully worn look, look of unearned accomplishment______Terrible Towel, terrible gut, possible skullet
Epitomized by
Tommy from Quinzee_____________Johnny from Some Other State
Their team winning Sunday?
“NO ONE DENIES THIS”___________”Nice try, jagoff. I ain’t no Anthony Smith”
Favorite player
WELKAH, the Dustin Pedroia of football__________Numbell one smaltest leceivel
Disarming but still kind of annoying YouTube representative based in New York
Fitzy (Coach Omar Epps? That’s gold!)_______________Yinz Luv ‘Da Stillers
Detests above all else
Dahhhhhkies, Yankees______________Bruce Arians, Ravens, Patriots, Ohio
Cranks
Godsmack album__________________Some polka shit
Finishing move
Hijacking truck containing Pats John Lynch jerseys_______Gracelessly taking over road stadia
Tags: meteor is not an option; comet or asteroid maybe, who ya got?, xmas ape
November 28th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Gotta go with the Yinzers, if only because I could go to the stadium without getting attacked by a bunch on leprechaun-lookin’ motherfuckers whose favorite relative once lead a busing riot. And say what you like about Tomlin, at least he manages to look like a gainfully employed and recently-showered adult.
November 28th, 2008 at 9:07 am
I’ll take Cassell’s 400 yds a game over Rongrastname’s McNair-esque bevy of injuries.
November 28th, 2008 at 9:19 am
As a Cowboys fan, I’ll take the comet smashing into the stadium while both teams are playing each other. I’ll make sure Tomlin has advanced warning though–he seems cool.
November 28th, 2008 at 10:23 am
If the Steelers win the game, but Tomlin finds out that Belechick boinked his wife at halftime, would that make it all even. Can you even end in a tie? Do they have ties in the NFL?
/go snipers in the lights!
November 28th, 2008 at 10:33 am
I’ll take the Yinzers, if only because Hines Wald is my favolite prayel on eithel team.
November 28th, 2008 at 10:36 am
DeepFriar:
Cassel’s 400-yard games came against the Jets and Dolphins, who are respectively 26th and 28th against the pass. Them Stillers has the number one defense across the board.
/dick joke
November 28th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Needs more http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/apeisadouche1.jpg
November 28th, 2008 at 11:52 am
@XMas – but Chris Collinsworth told me the Jets are the second best team in the NFL!
Are you calling Chris Collinsworth a liar?
November 28th, 2008 at 11:59 am
But Ape, how do you account for Polamalu being the most overrated player in the history of everything ever?!
/Staubach’d
November 28th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Cris Collinsworth also likes the smell of his own farts and his head bobbles around if you shake him.
November 28th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
@310ToJoba
Your comment is the most overrated comment I have eve read. Way to just jump on the pile.
/Re-Staubach’d
November 28th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
hold your nose while you pick
That’s counter-productive advice.
November 28th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Fuck them all.
/Eagles fan
//Pittsburgh resident
November 28th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
And the Colts beat them both. LOLLERCOASTER!
/no words can sufficiently express how much I wish I could eat four more Thanksgiving dinners RIGHT NOW
November 28th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
I think Marge Simpson’s uncle said it best: “Shoot them all, and let God sort it out.”
November 28th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
I hate you.
November 29th, 2008 at 11:31 am
What the fuck is a Yinzer?
November 29th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Tommy may be a lttle rough, but at least he doesn’t have a cat! Queer!