Two of the NFL’s more hackle-raising fanbases convene at the stadium where it now costs a small fortune to tailgate (it’s gotten so bad even Simmons hates it! Oh heavens!) to renew their recently one-sided rivalry. The rest of the NFL will no doubt be pulling for the meteor, while a game full of postseason implications plays out before thousands of breathless dickheads. So hold your nose while you pick WHO YA GOT?
Bored Red Sox fans_____________Steelers fans
Bandwagon established
Six years ago______________1970s
Distinguishing features
Red Sox hat with purposefully worn look, look of unearned accomplishment______Terrible Towel, terrible gut, possible skullet
Epitomized by
Tommy from Quinzee_____________Johnny from Some Other State
Their team winning Sunday?
“NO ONE DENIES THIS”___________”Nice try, jagoff. I ain’t no Anthony Smith”
Favorite player
WELKAH, the Dustin Pedroia of football__________Numbell one smaltest leceivel
Disarming but still kind of annoying YouTube representative based in New York
Fitzy (Coach Omar Epps? That’s gold!)_______________Yinz Luv ‘Da Stillers
Detests above all else
Dahhhhhkies, Yankees______________Bruce Arians, Ravens, Patriots, Ohio
Cranks
Godsmack album__________________Some polka shit
Finishing move
Hijacking truck containing Pats John Lynch jerseys_______Gracelessly taking over road stadia
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Tommy may be a lttle rough, but at least he doesn’t have a cat! Queer!
What the fuck is a Yinzer?
I hate you.
I think Marge Simpson’s uncle said it best: “Shoot them all, and let God sort it out.”
And the Colts beat them both. LOLLERCOASTER!
/no words can sufficiently express how much I wish I could eat four more Thanksgiving dinners RIGHT NOW
Fuck them all.
/Eagles fan
//Pittsburgh resident
hold your nose while you pick
That’s counter-productive advice.
@310ToJoba
Your comment is the most overrated comment I have eve read. Way to just jump on the pile.
/Re-Staubach’d
Cris Collinsworth also likes the smell of his own farts and his head bobbles around if you shake him.
But Ape, how do you account for Polamalu being the most overrated player in the history of everything ever?!
/Staubach’d
@XMas – but Chris Collinsworth told me the Jets are the second best team in the NFL!
Are you calling Chris Collinsworth a liar?
Needs more http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/apeisadouche1.jpg
DeepFriar:
Cassel’s 400-yard games came against the Jets and Dolphins, who are respectively 26th and 28th against the pass. Them Stillers has the number one defense across the board.
/dick joke
I’ll take the Yinzers, if only because Hines Wald is my favolite prayel on eithel team.
If the Steelers win the game, but Tomlin finds out that Belechick boinked his wife at halftime, would that make it all even. Can you even end in a tie? Do they have ties in the NFL?
/go snipers in the lights!
As a Cowboys fan, I’ll take the comet smashing into the stadium while both teams are playing each other. I’ll make sure Tomlin has advanced warning though–he seems cool.
I’ll take Cassell’s 400 yds a game over Rongrastname’s McNair-esque bevy of injuries.
Gotta go with the Yinzers, if only because I could go to the stadium without getting attacked by a bunch on leprechaun-lookin’ motherfuckers whose favorite relative once lead a busing riot. And say what you like about Tomlin, at least he manages to look like a gainfully employed and recently-showered adult.