One Douche In Search of an Author
Mike Tunison: WOOOOOOOOO! Gameday, baybee! Gonna rock the shit outta these San Diego Stupor Chargers! WE’RE FROM THE TOWN WITH A GREAT FOOTBALL TEAM! BOM BOM BOM BOM! WE CHEER THE PITTSBURGH STEELERS!
[Cranks Boards of Canada album]
Jean Grey: Merrrow
Mike: Yeah hi Jean.
Jean: Merrrrrrrrrrow
Mike: What, goddammit?
Mike: What do you want? Food? Can’t you see I’m too busy writing retard Ben and racist Hines posts? Switching L’s and R’s is strenuous work. God forbid Hines wants to run another flea flicker this week. What is that…free frickel?
Jean: Merrrrrrrrrow
Mike: SHUT UP KITTEH! THAT’S A BAD KITTEH!
[Knock on door]
Mike: Awesome! There’s the pizza.
[Door flies open]
Philip Rivers: Ya betta ask somebodddddddaaaaaayyyyyyyy!
Mike: It can’t be.
Rivers: OH BUT IT IS, COCKWALLET. What the shit is this dump? You’d be better off in your parent’s basement. They got a pool table down there. I bet an actual ape lives in better conditions. THE SERVANT’S QUARTERS AT LASERFACE MANOR IS NICER THAN THIS FUCKING LITTER-STREWN HOVEL! I COULD WIPE MY ASS ON YOUR DINNER TABLE AND IT’D BE WORTH MORE THAN EVERYTHING EXCEPT YOUR LAPTOP. MAYBE I’LL WIPE MY ASS ON THAT!
Mike: How the…? What is the…? The fuck?
Rivers: The fuck is right, blog bitch. My Tiny Darren showed me how you’ve besmirched the Marmalard brand name on your web log. You can make fictional me, but you can’t make a fictional LaToeInjury who doesn’t play like an infected labia or a defense that can actually stop someone? CHEW ON And we both know I’ve never said “ya betta ask somebodddddayyyyyy” in my life.
Mike: But you just said it when you came in here.
Rivers: Look, I, what I…FUCK YOU, KISSING SUZY’S CORNHOLE BOY!
Jean: Merrrrooowww
Rivers: Awwwww, is this yo widdle fuzziewumpkins?
WHAT SELF-RESPECTING MAN HAS A FUCKING CAT!? UNLESS YOU’RE A BOND VILLAIN, THAT SHIT IS JAY CUTLER GAY! JUST LOOK AT THIS 10-POUND BAG OF FUZZY SHIT AND FELINE AIDS.
[Picks up cat and hurls it across the room. Jean floats in the air long enough to give herself a bath, then lands on her feet and walks into the next room]
I got your team today, blog bitch. You think it’s great at have a little titter at my expense. But I’m the second-rated QB in the league while Braindead Ben is hanging below Gus Frerotte. WHAT’S YOUR BLOG MOT FOR THAT. HUH? WHAT? HUH? FUCK YOU!
Mike: Well what the fuck are you doing here? The game’s about to start.
Rivers: Cutlerfucker! [Runs off down hall, knocking over pizza guy in the process]
Mike: [Writes more one-handed blog posts]
Tags: marmalard, so very meta, xmas ape
November 16th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Well this just opens the door for the ol’ double J to slap Drew’s manboobs around.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Did Culpepper really just cough the ball up again? REALLY? lol
November 16th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
IT’S SNOWING! YESSSSSSS
November 16th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
that was some nice meta, Ape. Flann O’Brien would be proud. And drunk. Very, very drunk.
and if the Bungles can stop the wildcat, the Eagles probably should give up on it.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
It’s a cold one here in the burgh. Excellent pittsburgh polka reference Ape.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Dick Enberg says it’s cold in Jacksonville, too. in the 40s by the end of the game.I hope Vince brought a jacket.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
A tip of the cap to Spencer Larsen, who started for Denver in all three phases of the game today … and a wag of my finger to the Broncos for needing one guy to do all that.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
This post made my day.
Well, that and my team winning big.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
“Keys to the game
PIT DEF: We do our thing.”
Fuck you, CBS
November 16th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
I’d also like to thank the Panthers for keeping the dream alive.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
TROY!
That should’ve been in the commercial
November 16th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Holy shit.
Best safety in the game. bar fucking none.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Yeah, CBS. Coach Tomlin said “We do our thang.” Get it right.
Also, Jesus Christ, Polamalu. What a monster.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
S’ok. Even if it’s upheld, and it should be, Ben will return the favor
November 16th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Did the refs get one right? Is the world blowed up yet?
November 16th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
SMIRRE
November 16th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
LOOOKIT, I FAKIED OUT THEM GUYS AND THREW TO HINES! HARF HARF HARF.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Fuck you, Arians. RUN THE FUCKING BALL
November 16th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Meanwhile, the Eagles can’t get it done against the Bungles. Shit.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
The Jaguars have clearly never heard of Owen Hart.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
“Gee, our passing game is struggling, lets drop back on every snap”
DIE
November 16th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Nice run Gore. Where was that shit Monday night when I lost by 3?
/Won’t forgive, won’t forget.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Jeff Reed was far too drunk to make that kick.
Then again, how can you blame him – he needs to keep warm somehow.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
the 40s here in Jax is fucking cold as shit man let me tell ya!
November 16th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
The Timmy vs. Jimmy cripple fight is better than the Iggles-Bungles tard brawl.
Here’s the url
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmWb0HPTB9A
November 16th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
51-yard kick in the snow in Heinz Field = nigh fucking impossible
How’s about being aggressive in a smart way, Tomlin?
/awaits puns
November 16th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Ape -
+/- on time it takes Ben to start making snow angels?
I can’t believe I’m sweating and hoping a 4-5 team loses to give us a pad in the division. Fuck the AFC West is terrible
November 16th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Also – Can we get Ask Jay Cutler back so he can address these Marmalardian accusations of faggotry?
November 16th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
People didn’t seem to like Ask Jay Cutler too much, but I might give it another shot
November 16th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
November 16th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Touchdown LT!
November 16th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Nice gift TD, San Diego. So much about the refs getting shit right.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
That’s because no one on the Broncos has any sort of personality whatsoever, except maybe Marshall, who’s still pretty boring.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Cinci and Philly are going for the Tie.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
I never thought I’d see a Luigi Pirandello reference in connection with Marmalard. I don’t even have a joke, I’m flabbergasted.
How about a Kellen Winslow/Ufford post?
November 16th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
@Goose! I am glad I don’t have that one on and only can see the gamecast. Shit, I can tell what is going on without even watching.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Oh Willie Pizzle, it’s great to have you back until you get hurt again in the third quarter.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Uh oh. Philly D needs to force a 3 and out otherwise Cinci might pull out a FG victory
November 16th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Yay Spaeth is hurt! Let’s line up Leftwich at tight end
November 16th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Phil Simms: “The Steelers offensive line just hasn’t been the same this year…”
Actually it has. That’s the problem, fuckwit.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
More bullshit calls against the Steelers! More!
November 16th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Looks like we’re going to a tie in the Iggle-Bungles game.
Cripple Fight!!
November 16th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Dissect the Center? What the fuck?
November 16th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
SMIRRE
November 16th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Tie game! Yes! It only would’ve been better if I could watch it happen.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
SHIT. I thought they went to double overtime…forgot that is college where they play until people die.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Such a thing of beauty. Fighting to a tie with the bungles.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
TIE = Best post game conferences ever
November 16th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Fun Fact: The last time two teams experienced enough collective cerebral palsy to tie in a regular season game was in 2002 between the Atlanta Falcons and the …
…damn I forget the other team. Ape, help me out here?
November 16th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Funny thing about that one was it was a 34-34 tie that ended with Burress getting tackled on the 1 as overtime expired
November 16th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
GO FOR IT, ASSHOLES
November 16th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
oh snap
November 16th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Fuck me in the goatass. How about a QB sneak qwith your giant retard under center?
November 16th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Fuck you Vernon Davis. Get benched.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Wow. Ape, I am truly sorry. As a Bears fan, I know a thing or ten about bad playcalling and, well, that just earned a tip of my chapeau. Huge quarterback, tiny defense, you need to fall forward less than a foot to score. PULL A GUARD AND RUN OUTSIDE.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Rivers even throws floaters out of bounds
November 16th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Mike Singletary and Mike Martz approve of that 4th down play call.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
YA BETTA SACK SOMEBODDDDDAAAAAYYYYYYYY
November 16th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
I’m gay for James Harrison
November 16th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
That return went well
November 16th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
[pass protection flies open]
November 16th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
No lie, after getting stuffed at the 1, a neighbor of mine threw a beer bottle out the window and hit a car.
Living in Pittsburgh is fun.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
I have a dumb question. Where does “YA BETTA ASK SOMEBODDDDDAAAAAAAYYYY” come from?
November 16th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Nice leceivel scleen to Hines Wald
November 16th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Hines get hording carr?
November 16th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Ernster with the booming 30 yd punt. That’s familiar.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
And add Jacksonville to the teams who will over-pay for Cassel. Sartorial greatness aside, Silky sucks ass.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Which backup will the Pats throw money at? As recent history shows, they might need one.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
I liked Matt Cassel better the first time around, when he was called Scott Mitchell.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Polamalu wins the Nike commercial showdown in the backfield
November 16th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
…and the gang bang is on in San Francisco.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
@Juice
..is it that time of the day again?
Oh, football.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Damn, that San Fran score looks like Florida yesterday against the ‘cocks.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
The Pats have two rookies behind Cassel: Matt Gutierrez and Kevin O’Connell. O’Connell looked better in preseason (for what’s worth) and will probably back up Brady next year.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
I think the lesson of this season is that they need someone with experience starting NFL games to backup Brady
November 16th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Can Roethlisberger throw for 300 and the offense still not score? Time will tell…
November 16th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Speaking of ‘cocks, I hope Mike Martz gets sent to Pelican Bay for that Shaun Hill sneak,
November 16th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Referees: “Sorry, we’re picking up this flag. We can only fuck over Pittsburgh today.”
November 16th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
“BEN WAS IN POCKET! BEN WAS IN POCKET!”
November 16th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Have they mentioned Jerome Bettis being a fatass 1yd gainer yet? Oh wait, there it is.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
@ Ape:
TIme may tell, but Warner’s nearly pulled that off already.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Marc Bulger is da Man
November 16th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Anthony Smith with a bonehead play. It had been so long.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Very funny, LaToeInjury, keep running toward the sidelines
November 16th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Sit the fuck down, Rivers. Without the referees, the Chargers won’t score in this game
November 16th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
I think the lessons of this season are: Vince Young is a baby, Marmalard sucks, and FIX YO MOUF.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Honey, can I get extra napkins? Can I get extra ketchup?
Bitch, get out the way. Can I get a Steakhouse?
I love Burger King’s just-barely-below-the-surface sexism.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Well, there’s also the BrettFarveBrettFavreBrettFavreBrettFavreBrettFavre lesson of this season, and every season for that matter.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Paul Ernster’s future involves the words “paper or plastic?”
November 16th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
The Steelers only had to have two punters get injured before Ernster got a shot. How bad could he be?
November 16th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
I. AM. SO. FUCKING. GAY. FOR. JAMES. HARRISON.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Ha! Suck it, Marmalard.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Ape, we can let him know, if you would like.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Phil Simms, however, I would like to sodomize with a chainsaw
November 16th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
What if you could watch James Harrison sodomize Phil Simms
Say for…. fifty dollars….
/shifty eyes
November 16th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
God damn Marmalard’s throwing motion pisses me off so much. How can someone with such poor mechanics be an NFL Starting QB?
November 16th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Simms trying to explain why Marmalard threw a flutterball.
Really, Phil? Really?
November 16th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Ape, does Simms usually announce Steelers games? He’s always doing the Jets and yeah, he’s total homocide fuel.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Jesus Santonio, I’m gonna need to smoke a bowl after that play
November 16th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Ape, I never noticed it before, but you look like a retarded version of Michael Rapaport. Does that make you double retarded? Beyond the Stihlers fantardiness?
November 16th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
From another Steelers fan: “And at the half it’s Referees 7 James Harrison 5″
November 16th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Yeah, I’ve gotten the Rapaport comparison a few thousand times.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
I figured, but in that pic you’re squinting like you’re doing a Renee Zellweger impression, and that’s Michael’s move.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Enberg: What rhymes with two? Jones-Drew!!! As in how many touchdowns he has!!
November 16th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Irregar brock in the back!?!
November 16th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
BEN DO… GOOD?
November 16th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Jesus, nice awareness there Santonio. Did you have trouble looking past your cock to see that your foot was on the chalk?
November 16th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
SKIPPY!!!!!!!!
November 16th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Ape gets Rappaport comparisons like Skeets gets Steve Nash comparisons.
Also, after a Titans TD, Enberg announced a celebration penalty for “overemoting.”
November 16th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Only Cate Blanchett is allowed to overemote
November 16th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Does either team really want to win this game…
November 16th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Rivers was hearing some Harrison footsteps on that play
November 16th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Could we get a photoshop of Enberg dressed up as Sting from WCW?
Maybe interacting with the Emo Eagles?
http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/TV/9902/15/wrestling/sting.jpg
November 16th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Watch it, Keisel. Complanian will accuse you of being unclassy.
November 16th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Collins with another TD. VY goes to the bench and emotes over an unopened pill bottle.
November 16th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Can we get a photoshop of Enberg as Sting from WCW?
Maybe talking shit to the Emo Eagles about overemoting?
November 16th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Tiny Darren took a big shot on that one
November 16th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Tomlinson blocks like he runs, like a pussy
I love me some Kaeding
November 16th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
I GOT AN OWIE IN MY KNEESPOT
November 16th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Holy shit! Did you guys see the Kay Jewelers ad with the deaf chick?
That’s all I got, really.
November 16th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
I wanna run the ball against San Diego! Me next! Me next!
November 16th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Asking for a Jim Haslett post later.
November 16th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
8-7 = now that’s a football game!
HARF HARF HARF!
November 16th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
The hell? That ball went out of bounds around the 10 and they mark it at the 18? Is it still snowing?
November 16th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Every time that blind chick says “Read my lips,” I’m expecting head
November 16th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
The refs have money on the Bolts, Rich
November 16th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
http://i33.tinypic.com/2gw983l.jpg
November 16th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Asking for a Haslett-Singletary tandem post.
November 16th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Why are they televising this chargers/steelers game? It’s like football’s equivalent of the Special Olympics. Doesn’t matter if you win or lose…as long as you compete.
November 16th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
How does Marmalard keep getting away with sideline floaters?
And why are my balls orange??? Oh. Cheetos.
November 16th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
@skc
I thought that was “It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, you’re still retarded”
My bad.
November 16th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Ike Taylor is turning into Carlos Rogers in terms of dropping picks
November 16th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Or the Hippie Olympics, where it doesn’t matter who wins because they’re all losers?
November 16th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Can we get an over/under on how many times Obama says “Motherfucker” in tonight’s interview?
I imagine now that he’s won, he can stop using his politician voice and use his Samuel L. voice.
November 16th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
man, give up on the terrible towels. I haven’t see something so lame since the tomahawk chop.
November 16th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Hey! I like Board of Canada…
November 16th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Eh, every team has a lame ritual. There’s a lot worse you can do than a towel.
Purple camo pants, for instance.
November 16th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Instead of staring blankly on the field. Should Ben be talking to Arians about the horseshit playcalling?
November 16th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Hey Zubaz are the shit!
November 16th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Or “IN-COM-PLETE”
God fuck that drives me nuts.
November 16th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
http://i38.tinypic.com/2we9i5u.jpg
November 16th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
What’s really lame is that the trailer dwellers in Kansas City still do the tomahawk chop.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
can someone on the west coast tell me if they are just sitting Frank Gore cause seattle sucks ass, or if gore is hurt
November 16th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Football is king, but sometimes the urge to create tissue warriors take priority.
Looks like I missed that little San Diego kid kicking a field goal. Awww! He kicked it thwough the upwights, yes he did!
November 16th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
All I know is Frank Gore has 20 fantasy points on 100+ yards with 2 TDs, glad I’m not facing that team this week…
November 16th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
I wonder what the Emo Eagles think about the tie today. Could this tie combined with the election of Obama be a righteous foreshadow for true equality in America? People will talk.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Hey – ironically that team has Kaeding, who I was just ragging on. I didn’t think anyone in my league had him.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Hines goes over 100 again
November 16th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
The officiating is ludicrously one-sided. Have the Chargers been called for one penalty?
November 16th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
I can’t believe I’m missing out on the Redskins’ knockoff Terrible Towels tonight in the biggest gathering of douchebag fans south of Foxboro tonight…
and somewhere I hope The Mayor gets bitchslapped by a big brotha Cowboy fan
November 16th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Jeff Fisher continues his ownership of the Jaguars.
/double fist pump!
November 16th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
SMIRRE, motherfuckers!
November 16th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Gotta love Mike Tomlin and his leather jacket.
Pittsburgh has the worst grass in the NFL.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
hines is money. hines should be the play-caller.
“throw to me.”
/end of huddle
November 16th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
You know it’s go time for Tennessee when Fisher forms the Goatee. It’s his serious face.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
“He’s been smart with the football, and he’s about to be rewarded for that today.”
Phil Simms knows about the Choco Tacos?
November 16th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Do we start talking 16-0 yet? Let’s run the Madden simulation…
November 16th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
It’s entirely possible the Steelers are about to slap the Chargers out of the playoffs.
It’s the Bolts’ own fault – should have won the games they were supposed to. Now they have to win games (like this one) they shouldn’t.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
THERE IS A FLAG!
November 16th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Best holding call all day.
/money on Super Chargers
November 16th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Leave it to a fucking former Detroit Lion to ruin the Steelers’ day
November 16th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
KICK THE FIELD GOAL NOW.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Oh, and good call Mick, the Steelers are a good team but I haven’t noticed them covering many spreads (at least, as favorites).
November 16th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Did the Steewahs make that fee-uld goal?
Yes they did.
Fuck you Rich. Steelers win.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Stupid fucking Jeff Reed.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
You mean the Steeler fans don’t sing the song like:
“HEY!… YOU SUCK!”
November 16th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Did Norv just adjust his package?
November 16th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
lol, every ounce of body fluid he could.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
What’s with Ben and Reed making wanking motions?
Is Reed going to gibe Ben happy time? Or Hines Wald’s sisters will love him long time?
November 16th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Norv needs to adjust his resume.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
wow the jags suck so bad I am now watching the steerels.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Has anyone ever hit one of those skycams on the zip lines? Marmalard has the best chance
November 16th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
how bout that shit
November 16th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
STEELERS COVER!
Rich can choke on my dick!
November 16th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
is the game over yet?
November 16th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
what was the spread?
November 16th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Ben Rongrastname is really confused about what Tloy just did.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Ha! Touchdown with 0:00.
Ben: HARF HARF HARF WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
November 16th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Wait, why would you be typing a blog post with one hand?
Oh.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
hahahahahahahahahahahaha
November 16th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Yeah, let’s go short and throw some laterals instead of rolling the dice with a hail mary. Let’s play the odds.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Wow, way to bust out sports gamblers everywhere. I think everyone had the Bolts +5.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
fuck the Steelers running up the score…
November 16th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
HARF NICE PLAY SAMOA JESUS!
November 16th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
WE’RE FROM THE TOWN WITH A GREAT FOOTBALL TEAM
BOM BOM BOM BOM
WE CHEER THE PITTSBURGH STEELERS
November 16th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Skippy is clutch! Marmalard and LaJoke are stunned!
November 16th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
The spread was 5. Great moment in sports gambling history right here.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
And with that touchdown, the Steelers cover the spread.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
CHARGERS +5 BIG WINNER!
November 16th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Nooooooo
I needed another fantasy point from Jeff
November 16th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
The fuck? What’s going on here?
November 16th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
There was no illegal forward pass. Not even close.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
What a fuck up
November 16th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Wait, scratch that. They don’t. Oh well.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Oh bullshit. Vegas called that shit in.
Whatever. Steelers win.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
hahahahahaha all the bettors are killing themselves right now.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
“It was confusing even for the officials.”
Understatement of the year.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Whenever a pro team does that they always lateral it too soon. It’s like they’re so excited to finally have permission to lateral. You don’t lateral until you’re trapped. 2 seconds elapsed and they had already lateraled to the last man back. You would think (since Pittsburgh had the 4 men all the way back), the great LT could have run a little against a 7 man defense before pitching it.
And also, what a fucking circle jerk by the officials on that play.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
I hate to say it – because I may have just lucked out and not busted out – but that was TD for the Steelers and it was taken away because the refs were too lazy to get everyone on the field for the PAT.
/booo refs
November 16th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Steelers can’t cover at home… pretty good offensive coordinator
November 16th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
football might be fixed?
November 16th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
The best part of that ending there was that the Chargers had to sit for a couple mins on the sidelines, knowing that they had just lost the game, but can’t walk off the field.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
I took the Steelers to cover at home against Baltimore on Week 3 or 4 and learned the hard way that the 2008 Steelers aren’t big on covering spreads.
Time for some Patrick/Olberman.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
AND….when Cal did it, people had the fucking sense to run backward when someone else got the ball. That’s why they didn’t run out of people to lateral too. You don’t just race down the field tossing the ball around.
Oh And the forward lateral was total bullshit.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
@skc via Leigh
THAT might be the understatement of the year.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Waiting for the money to show up in my account…
You gamble on enough games stuff like this doesn’t surprise you anymore. I had the Spurs +7 in the game where they were eliminated by the Lakers, and that Sasha Vujacic kid shot in a 3 at the buzzer for no reason to cover the spread.
So losing on a crazy fumble-recovery-lateral would just be another story to tell at the bar.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
You shouldn’t lateral period.
Choices: Throw a hail mary to your best receiver and hope for a miracle or risk it with 6-7 little passes. Which would you go for? 6-7 short passes from people who don’t know how to throw a ball more than 2 yards if they’re lucky or one big pass from a QB and a possibility that you’re stud receiver pulls a miracle and breaks for a TD…
November 16th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Dude
The play started at the 21, you can’t do a hail mary from there. If by some miracle the chargers catch the pass, they’re still nowhere near the endzone.
From that far away, you need to do some laterals.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
207 comments. 34 if you don’t count Ape’s.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
BS. yoyo, how many times have laterals worked? it’s a once a decade instance. throw to your stud receiver and hope he breaks for a TD.
November 16th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
How is he going to break for a TD when everyone is standing 50 yards down the field?
It’s a crappy situation, you’re probably going to lose either way, but if you throw a deeper pass and start laterals you have a chance. If you throw it deep, you’ll get 5 people with a jump ball and no way to get into the end zone.
November 16th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
“Jay Cutler Gay” should be a tag
November 16th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
this thread made my mind explode
November 16th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Is that a copy of Men with Balls next to the lamp?
Drew says: That’s a good little bitch.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:02 am
spconfer on cialis feigned