KSK Fantasy/Sex Advice Mailbag: Now With More Ass Play
Welcome to the latest edition of the KSK Fantasy Football/Sex Advice Mailbag, the only place on the internet to seek advice on your flex position as well as your sex positions. We have a lot to cover, so continue after the jump to dive in to all of the week’s best emails.
KSK,
Here is my problem. I’m married and enjoy masturbating but I try to keep in out of sight from the wife. What I do is take porn with my when I go drop a deuce. It is usually on my laptop. I don’t think she has any idea that I fire one off in there. She just thinks I am doing work or reading websites. My worry is that, since I am sitting on the john I usually end up taking a dump at the same time. I’m afraid that sooner or later I’ll only be able to shoot my load while shitting. What do you guys think?
Also, what do you think Deuce Mcallister’s value is at this point? Can I get a #2 WR for him?
Before long you won’t be able to get an erection without the smell of your own excrement. So unless you are able to convince the woman to straddle you on the shitter I suggest you pursue a new venue for your masturbatory practices. Public swimming pools are good for this. Drop the deuce and move on with your life.
A few fantasy toss ups:
Kurt Warner vs. San Francisco -or- Aaron Rodgers vs. Minnesota?
Laverneus Coles vs. St. Louis -or- Marques Colston vs. Atlanta?
Pittsburgh’s D vs. Indy -or- Minnesota’s vs. Green Bay?
“Sex” Question:
Can you be too good at jerking off?
-Jay
Of course. Just ask Ray McKigney about that. Warner, Colston, and Pitt.
Hey,
So I got a blowjob from a stripper the other night but because I had been drinking vodka since noon I couldn’t finish before our time ran out. Should I have still had to pay?
also
With Willie Parker back strong is Mewelde Moore startable? If not, Ryan Grant or Duece? Kevin Faulk? They’re all playing pretty stout D’s.
Thanks,
-Z
If she was a stripper then you don’t have to pay for shit. Although if she expected money then that makes her a hooker, and yes, you better pay up. Play Ryan Grant and pray that one Williams eats the other for Minnesota.
Does it get anymore cliche than this? Before the wife and I got married and had a kid she loved to take it in the pooper. We got married last year and had a baby, its been over a year the closest I’ve gotten to anal is when she farts in her sleep. I’ve tried everything, she simply doesn’t want to have anal anymore. I don’t really have a question here, just wanted give one more reason to not marry that hot POA who loves to be choked nearly unconscious while getting blasted up the shitpipe. Thats going to end the minute the ring is on the finger.
Oh yeah, should I start Farve this week or pick up Matt Ryan off the WW, or just kill myself?
-Brian
Did the baby come out of her asshole? Play Ryan and slip it to her while she’s sleeping like Zach Randolph.
There’s this pretty hot girl I know who I’m pretty sure likes me, I mean, in her pants. But she’s one of those bitchy hipster quirkinistas, I mean, she owns more than five scarves. She’s one of those romantical types, so to get into those aforementioned pants I’d probably have to put in some serious relationship time, but I find her insufferable, and I’d probably end up feeling like Michael Cera. So I’m wondering if putting up with douchiness if it gets me some ‘gina?
Also, who is a better start this week Chris Johnson at Chicago or Marshawn Lynch at New England?
-Michael
Ufford: If you have a fantasy team that’s so loaded you don’t have room to start both Marshawn and Chris Johnson, I hope you date an annoying hipster and never get laid.
Hi,
Recently I got caught cheating on my gf and had to move out etc. It was pretty much over between us anyway but I still acted like an asshole and I feel bad about that. Karma is a mofo though and now everything is pretty damn shit. Over five years she managed to drive away each and everyone of my friends and now I find myself so desperately fucking lonely. Should I go through the herculean effort to get her back or should should I ride it through and join an art class (or something gay like that)?
Also, Chad Pennington or Eli Manning this week?
Thanks alot,
Jason.
You’re actually thinking about going back to a girl that you cheated on because you didn’t even really like anymore? You must be one sad lonely little fuck. Start Elisha then go buy yourself a whore. After that if you still miss the ex then you know it’s true love and you can go back to her and give her the clap.
I’ve got two WR, a WR/RB flex and two RB spots. My RBs are Brandon Jacobs, Jerrious Norwood, DeAngelo Williams, and the potentially TD hawking Edge James (Whisenhunt can suck my balls, just take his carries away so I can drop him). At WR I have Matt Jones (hooray Cocaine!) Roddy White, Bernard Berrian, Eddie Royal, and Greg Camarillo (I’m not entirely sure that Camarillo isn’t one of the computer-generated players that show up in the franchise mode in Madden). Who do I start? Do I put a WR in the flex, or one of my shaky, but potentially awesome RBs?
Help me, KSK, you’re my only hope!
Also, I woke up Wednesday morning to find about 30-40 playboys on my front porch. They aren’t my roommate’s or mine, and I can’t imagine why someone would randomly stack that much soft porn on a stranger’s front porch. My question is this — do I bring them inside and put them in the bathroom where they belong (this is easily 2-3 years worth of issues, so they will provide a ton of material to read while deux deux deux-ing), or do I throw them out. I mean used porn, even of the soft variety is pretty gross, especially because I don’t know who used it previously.
-David
Good god, that’s a lot of words to sift through. Okay, play a running back at the flex and donate the mystery “porn” to some prepubescent boys in need of a thrill. Just think how happy that would have made you when you were that age. Oh, and try to not get caught, because that kind of shit will get you put on one of those lists you can’t get off of.
Dear KSK,
Joseph Addai was my #1 pick this year but other than getting injured he hasn’t done shit. Should I give up on him and go with DeAngelo Williams, who’s averaging four more points per week, or wait for him to become a star again, like I did last year with Laurence Maroney?
Also, is it okay to make out with your girl after she swallows your load?
-Stu
Addai is surely worth waiting for. And sure you can make out with your girl after she swallows. Assuming you just LOVE the taste of your own sperm. Seriously, you at least have to give her a few hits of Listerine first.
My girlfriend and I have always had very traditional approach on sex, as we rarely did the deed outside of the bedroom or the shower. However, we just bought a house together, and we have become a little more adventurous during our brief time there. I would love to incorporate a little “butt play” (hers, not mine), but I am struggling with the possibility of pushing her too fast and turning her off. After several failed attempts to sneak it in there during sex, and getting the response, “That’s the butt…” How can I “bring her around,” so to speak? Also, I have not used a condom in over 3 years, but should I start to use them if I do make it into her un-holiest of holes?
Please help me get to her promised land.
Also, who should I start at my flex position in my ppr league? Kevin Smith for the Lions, Donnie Avery for the Rams, or Downtown Reggie Brown for the Eagles?
- Boom goes the Dynamite
If you want to get in that ass you have to take it slow, lest you risk that door locking shut for the rest of time. First you need to buy her some expensive jewelry, then you have to tell her what you’re looking for. Be blunt, but not obscene. Then pull out an economy tub of industrial strength lubricant (these guys can hook you up). Oh, and start Donnie Avery. The Rams are going to be throwing all day because they sure as fuck can’t run on Kris Jenkins and co.
What’s your expert opinion on letting your girlfriend shove anal beads up your ass? Just curious.
Flacco or Pennington this week?
Thanks,
Tony R.
I think I’d rather have Flacco and Pennington as my two fantasy quarterbacks.
Dear KSK,
I have a question concerning Guy Ethics.
Is it okay to fuck a chick on your friend’s bed if it means it busted a dry spell that had been going on for over 5 months? And does he have a right to say you’re “dead to him” after the event happened?
As for Fantasy football,
Is Roy Williams worth bothering to start anymore?
You really shouldn’t fuck with a guy’s bed like that, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Hopefully you kept everything on top of the comforter so you can just buy him a new one. Regardless, you shouldn’t be dead to him unless you made an unholy mess. Roy Williams, on the other hand, should be dead to you.
Dear KSK,
I’m a 22 year old male who is in the prime of his life physically speaking. I’m usually a fucking machine who doesn’t have problems when it comes to getting it up.
This past Halloween I brought a girl back home to my shit-tastic apartment and was about to get my dick wet. After fingerblasting her through two orgasms I suggested she suck my dick, to which she complied.
However, after about a minute I remained flaccid and to avoid potential humiliation I went down on her and made her come another 3 times. She passes out after this and I remain awake scared shitless that I might be impotent.
So my question is this:
Is 17 drinks enough to cause whiskey dick or should I be seriously concerned?
As for FF,
I’m 3-6 in both of my fantasy leagues right now, should I even bother trying anymore?
Thanks,
Jeremy
Yeah, I’m sure she totally came five times. You probably have dick cancer. Go get fucked.
Dear KSK,
A female friend and I were have a discussion about being cheated on. I
argued that the attractiveness of the person your significant other
cheated on you with is a factor as to how pissed off you are when you
find out. She disagreed. Even after I tried to explain that if her
boyfriend cheated on her with Heidi Klum, she should still be mad, but
at least appreciate that even she would fuck Heidi Klum if she got a
chance. As opposed to if her boyfriend cheated on her with Rosie
O’Donnell, she might be within her legal right to kill her boyfriend.
So I ask, should attractiveness matter in infidelity?
Oh, and should I start Aaron Rodgers or Marmalard this weekend?
-El Duke
It’s more about their level of fame rather than their hotness. If you fuck Jessica Alba your girlfriend pretty much has to understand. If you fuck a girl who looks just like Jessica Alba she has every right to kick you in the nuts. In the meantime, play Marmalard.
Dear Sirs,
Does this thing look infected?
Also, concerning the Cowboys offense: Same question.
Sincerely,
W. Phillips, Dallas
No, no, that’s too obvious. Make it “Wade P.”
Hey, put down my lunch!
November 6th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
For the record, that cheating discussion started when me and my friend were talking about the lack of drunken hookups on Cheers, and whether or not Lillith fucking Norm would be a revenge fuck. I argued sleeping with a fat fuck like Norm would be like the icing on the “fuck you” cake. As opposed to if she slept with Ted Danson, it’d be less harsh. Wow, I felt old just typing that.
November 6th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
If you haven’t had sex in five months, a good friend will offer you his bed to fuck on.
November 6th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
@ Boom goes the Dynamite – Toss her salad. That always works in the pornos.
November 6th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
“If you fuck Jessica Alba your girlfriend pretty much has to understand. If you fuck a girl who looks just like Jessica Alba she has every right to kick you in the nuts.”
Preach the fuck on.
November 6th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
But, sleeping with a known manslut such as Ted Danson would add insult to injury. Sleeping with a fat guy can be seen as a pity fuck, while fucking an attractive man who is fast and loose with women is both degrading to the significant other and yourself. No one wins there.
Except Sam. I bet Lillith was a minx.
November 6th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Fucking on a friend’s bed is only bad if you use his pillow cover to clean her ass before you put it in. Otherwise, grow up.
November 6th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Yeah I’m gonna have to go ahead and agree with Oh Captain my Captain. How can you not be happy for a friend breaking a dry spell? I’ve gone to extensive length to help a friend out of a dry spell, short of sucking him off myself. Man Code is Man Code gentlemen. A friend is a friend.
/holds self.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
As a woman I have to say this little feature is a terrifying glimpse into the male psyche.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
@JakesAlterEgo
That proves the whole point of the discussion my friend and I were having. She argued that cheating is cheating is cheating. And that all cheating is the same. While my point was there are scenarios that, while it still doesn’t make it right, one would be more or less angry about the infidelity. It could be over sluttiness, attractivness, or whatever. But there are varying degrees of rage.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
This mail bag is the greatest thing ever.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
I bet anal beads guy has his form fitted Brady Quinn jersey ready for tonight.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
@Boom – Try a little figerplay while your banging her. When the time is right, don’t make a big production of putting on 2 rubbers and industrial strength antibiotic. Just lube it and go.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
See if Lilith fucked Sam it would be bad because of the whole Frasier/Diane/Sam thing. If Lilith fucked Norm, I think, being a psychiatrist, he’d have an easier time dismissing it. Now if she fucked Clavin, that would just be insulting.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Oh, I wholeheartedly agree. I was just saying that Sam Malone wouldn’t be on my “It’s OK he’s hot so I’ll forgive you list”. Sam Malone would be the “God, how could I ever love a woman who valued herself so poorly that she is sleeping with a washed up pitcher who owns a bar. Get out of my life you skank!” list. Norm would be more of the “You cheated on me with Norm….Norm…?…I don’t understand…this….” list.
/is a Norm, not a Sam
November 6th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
“Can you be too good at jerking off?”
No, but I can assure you that you aren’t close to as good as I am.
November 6th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
@CR: this is only the ’scenic view spot’ of the male psyche. You’re still a few miles from seeing the actual dark, disturbing, and troubling up-close vision of the male psyche.
If women could read minds, they’d kill us all.
November 6th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
remember Sam pitched for the Red Sox. so the Masshole affect also ties in.
November 6th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
I always thought the line was drawn on whether she swirled it around and played with it before she swallowed, or if it just all shot straight back and down the pipe.
/just me?
November 6th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
I’ll go with the wild card and Paul fucks Lillith and Rebecca in a dirty three way in the pool room. Meanwhile, Sam slips Carla a twenty to shit on his chest.
November 6th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Got the clap from taking down some hoor on my friend’s bed and he thought it was funny.
Granted I bought him new sheets and such, but still…friends help friends get laid.
As Jersey said, Man Code.
November 6th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
“friends help friends get laid”
Very true, unless that friend bangs some fugly chick who is also on her period and ruins your comforter, sheets, pillows and even stains the mattress. He either needs to cough up the cash to replace everything or dissappear forever.
November 6th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Friends help friends get laid?!?!
*realizes he truly doesn’t have any friends…*
November 6th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
@AM – I had a friend who did that to me – right down to the mattress. Needless to say, I wasn’t going to sleep on it once it went into our trash pile – in the cellar. We’re still good friends. Once they glued my head back on, we all had a good laugh.
November 6th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
I think the entire Lilith issue is basically dead now considering that she fucked Niles.
November 6th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Lillith fucked Niles? With a Brady Quinn replica strap-on, I presume.
November 6th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Wait, so how much does she have to look like Jessica Alba?
November 6th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
It’s hard to guess how serious any of these questions are, but just in case, here’s some unsolicited advice from me: You need to get over the “one magic night” theory of anal sex. You’ve got to work your way up to it over a few days/weeks. I, uh, hear.
November 6th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
When did this site become a “Cheers” fan fiction chat room?
Anyway, it’s clear Lilith would’ve fucked Nick Torricelli for the ultimate smackdown.
November 6th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
“donate the mystery “porn” to some prepubescent boys in need of a thrill”
I once found a 200 page lesbian porno at the park when I was about 12, greatest day of my life.
November 6th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
@slothrop: horrifying.
November 6th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
I can’t believe there was no Osi Umenyiora reference in the answer to that first question.
November 7th, 2008 at 1:12 am
Anal is a tough one. A girl once let me do it on the first date but she had some weird vag thing that forced her to wear a tampon 24/7, so that shit was funky. She was nice to let me stick it in her ass though. On the other side of the coin, I had a girlfriend that I slowly worked my way to anal with, but one time on vacation I was a little drunk and got a little rough with her ass. She never let me near it again. Oh well.
November 7th, 2008 at 1:14 am
And I need to get down to Texas to get to know Mamacita.
November 7th, 2008 at 1:54 am
@King Crackhead: No. No, you do not.
November 7th, 2008 at 2:00 am
@mamacita: bullshit. i’ve twice had the “one magical night” of anal and it is not a myth fellas. it helps that they were, well, plump. plump girls do it all man, they just love the attention.
November 7th, 2008 at 8:06 am
“A girl once let me do it on the first date but she had some weird vag thing that forced her to wear a tampon 24/7, so that shit was funky.”
That just made let out an audible “GUH” in the office. Also, so how was it banging the Lohan?
November 7th, 2008 at 8:54 am
Offered up my bed to a buddy and his “lady friend” for his first time – made me feel like a fuckin’ hero.
November 7th, 2008 at 9:02 am
@ Lopey: That’s a BIG affirmative brozilla.
November 7th, 2008 at 9:46 am
Is it wrong if a buddy catches you in his bed trying to bang a chick after he specifically told you not to? And it was your first chance to slay a broad since you broke up with your girlfriend? He shouldn’t have told me no in the first place, but I’m the kind of asshole who doesn’t listen to anybody when he’s drunk. So fuck him.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Dude, what’s with all of you guys who are interested in ass sex? Here’s some news for you: you’re gay. The best part is everyone is all like “oh, uh, I also want to specify that I’m interested in HER ass, not having her do MY ass.” OK, Captain, that makes you totally hetero. Good save.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:46 am
“A girl once let me do it on the first date but she had some weird vag thing that forced her to wear a tampon 24/7, so that shit was funky.”
i can only hope this is a lie. good luck not having your dick fall off.
November 7th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
@ Kevin: The fact that you associate banging a chick in the ass with homosexuality means that…
A. You have no grasp of the concept of gender.
B. You have suppressed homosexual ideas, hence the immediate association with anal and homosexuality.
C. You’ve never gotten head, because that’s gay too, since gay guys must do that as well.
D. You’ve never banged a chick in the ass. It feels much different, and not in a bad way either.
E. All of the above.
I’m going with E.
November 8th, 2008 at 1:18 am
At this point, every guy I’ve slept with (the running tally is five) has kissed me after I swallowed. Does that mean they’re all gay? ‘Cause, I mean, it sure didn’t seem like it before (and often soon after!) the whole ejaculation thing.
Also, I love that anal sex=/=gay, but tasting your own come=GAY GAY GAY. Maybe it’s because I’m a girl and we just touch ourselves differently, but I just don’t understand the rabidly heterosexual proscription against one’s own bodily fluids. It’s kind of part of the deal.
November 8th, 2008 at 3:35 am
wow, this thread is still going on? great.
two questions… 2 spots, RB and RB/WR. 4 players: Ray Rice, Jamaal Charles, Derrick Ward, and Reggie Wayne. 1 point per 10 rush yrds, 1 point per 10 rec yards and 0.5 points per rec. thoughts?
also, can teenage girls smell fear? that is, the fear of them noticing my erection while i stand next to them in the line.
November 8th, 2008 at 11:00 am
mini dagger: Rice and Wayne. And yes, they smell your erection.
As for the cheating discussion…I’m either going to be pissed off that you slept with Ted or pissed off and disgusted you slept with Norm. Basically the ONLY way you won’t get a pissed off reaction is if I find Lilith in bed with Diane, in which case, I demand to film it.
That way, I can make money while revealing to the world the cheating kind of whore she was.
November 8th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
@Maria – That just goes to show how grateful we are when a woman swallows…
Now where do I apply to be number six??
November 8th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
@Dicky Ravis
Even though your choices leave out the obvious choice “F. I’m not gay, like Dicky Ravis” (which would be the correct choice), let’s take a look at your choices.
A. You have no grasp of the concept of gender.
Yes! A complete non-sequiter! Let’s see …since I think anal sex is gay …therefore I don’t know what gender is. Hm. Interesting. That’s like saying “well, since you think wearing men dressing up in skirts and panties is gay, you don’t know what a woman is.” OH, NOW I GET IT!! You’re so brilliant at debating, Dicky. That’s right. DICKY.
B. You have suppressed homosexual ideas, hence the immediate association with anal and homosexuality.
Wait, this is even better. Since I think anal sex is gay, therefore I must be gay! Amazing! Let’s see what else we can get from that. Since Dicky disagrees with me …therefore he secretly agrees with me! WOW! He just represses it because he gets aroused. Thanks, Dicky. That’s right. DICKY.
C. You’ve never gotten head, because that’s gay too, since gay guys must do that as well.
Well, Dicky’s THIRD non-sequiter. I guess to Dicky, having a woman put a dildo in his ass must be hetero because it’s with a woman. Right? This guy is brilliant. “Man + woman doing anything = straight.” You go, Dicky. I bet your girlfriend has a lot of empty Coke bottles at her place for you, right? Right. DICKY.
D. You’ve never banged a chick in the ass. It feels much different, and not in a bad way either.
This one is actually right. You know why? BECAUSE I’M NOT GAY LIKE DICKY.
LOLZ.
November 9th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Kevin,
You’re just wrong on this, buddy. There’s nothing inherently gay about anal or any other orifice that you can throw your wang into. There was also nothing non-sequitur (nice drop on the spelling) about Dicky’s C. response. He was demonstrating that your argument doesn’t work because you claimed that anal was gay BECAUSE it involves the butthole. That’s completely wrong – something is gay if it refers to two dudes slamming each other, not because they happen to frolic in the anoos. Gays have anal and oral sex with other dudes – again, it’s not gay because it’s anal or oral, it’s gay because it involves two guys.
So anal with a chick is straight because it doesn’t involve two dudes – hetero/homo designations are not a result of which orifice is involved. As for your Marmalard-style take on sexual relations – if you enjoy it when a girl throws something in your ass, it’s because you (and all other dudes) have prostates. I am sure your girl enjoys having sex with all the lights out, missionary style, and hearing you scream “NO!” and snap into the fetal position anytime she tries to grab your ass. Seriously, seems like a lot of fun.
I hate to get all college professor on a fun post like this but Jesus, Kevin, your argument was dumb even by sports blog standards.
November 9th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I agree, Brosephus. Gay is when two people of the same gender are attracted to each other and engage in sexual relations. It’s a pretty simple concept. I swear, you people and the gay…
November 10th, 2008 at 9:56 am
That was the most enjoyable read of my life.
Well said, Maria.
November 11th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
@Brosephus
Wow, what a great argument. Besides pointing out a spelling error — and believe me, I’m impresed — your entire argument was “anal sex is heterosexual because it could be with a woman.” Oh, yeah, and then a bunch of talk about how I only have sex with the light on and a wrap-up about how you “hate to get all college professor” on me but — and watch out, college professors, this is Brosephus talking — “your argument was dumb.”
HOLY CRAP! Good thing you don’t bust out the college professor thing too often or else we’d all be overwhelmed. No wonder your handle is “Brosephus.”
I’m glad that the fascination with the anus — not the ass, but the ASSHOLE — constitutes hetero for you. I mean, I guess you have the lights off while your girl slams stuff into your asshole and you groan about your prostate and that’s TOTALLY HETERO, lol. He’s like, “yeah, jam it in there, baby! I’ve never felt more like a man!!”
Damn, this place has a lot of homos on it.
November 13th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Kevin:
1.) You spelled impressed wrong.
2.) You’re gay…. seriously, look into it!
November 14th, 2008 at 11:41 am
@jonjonjiggy
1) Your punctuation would shame a retarded fifth-grader.
2) Stop projecting, homo. Seriously, stop hitting on me, fag!
November 14th, 2008 at 11:44 am
That guy’s handle is “jonjonjiggy” because he’s thinking of two guys getting jiggy. Can you say “gay”? It’s OK, he likes anal but that makes him hetero.
November 15th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Kevin is not attracted to female asses, thus proving once and for all that he is not gay.
November 15th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
How can you take a guy like jonjonjiggy seriously when he’s into anuses and tossing salads, which is very hetero?
November 20th, 2008 at 1:02 am
Hey Kevin, guess what? While you are spending literal WEEKS on the internet crying about what kind of male/female sex is GAY or not, guess what other people have been doing? Getting laid and having a good time without giving half a shit about weirdo internet lurkers like yourself. I guess I just wanted to jump in to tell you that you’re a fucking moron.
November 21st, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Hey, Jake, by that logic, since you’re participating in this “crying,” I guess you’re pretty dry in the balls, too. Oh, wait, are you also getting slammed in the anus for “prostate stimulation”? I bet you and jonjon and Brosephus go out to the woods and stimulate each others’ prostates. TOTALLY HETERO.