Kevin Faulk Weighs In On Mass. Ballot Question #2
Hello, my name is Kevin Faulk. I am a professional football player on your beloved New England Patriots, but I’m not here to talk about football today. Instead I’d like to tell you a little bit about something called http://www.sec.state.ma.us/ELE/elepip08/pip082.htm, or as you may know it, the kickass weed decriminalization thing. Now I don’t want to sound biased or anything, but this proposed law is the greatest achievement of mankind since the ancient Mayans discovered that the insides, or “guts”, of a blunt cigar could be removed and conceivably replaced with your broken up buds. This of course is not to be confused with George Washington Carver’s famous peanut chillum, which was pretty fuckin’ dope in its own limited way.
Where was I?
Anyway, today you Massachusetts residents have the opportunity to vote in favor of decriminalizing marijuana, and as a high profile part-time resident of this fine commonwealth, I urge you to exercise your right to vote. See a little while back I was at a Lil’ Wayne concert down in my home state of Louisiana, which unfortunately isn’t nearly as progressive as my part-time home. So I had a little bit of weed on me, and I was arrested for what they consider to be a crime. I am here today to make sure that doesn’t happen to anybody in this great commonwealth. Because hey, Weezy might come here one day, and you know damn well you can’t enjoy that shit sober.
So tomorrow you need to wipe the crust out of your eyes, have a bowl of cereal, and a bowl of your own special blend before heading out and voting “Yes” on ballot question 2!
What do you mean the polls are about to close, the election is on Tuesday?
I slept through Monday again? Oh fuck it, who’s got a light for Kev?
Tags: High runningbacks, Legalize it, Okay at least decriminalize it!, Unsilent Majority
November 4th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
Damnit Maj, you picked the worst character. Ricky is still around and Holmes is fresh out of cuffs. And the lack of HGHarrison is disappointing.
November 4th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Yeah, but he had to get a Mass. resident. That shit’s only in that state maaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!
/would have typed out the name of the state, but that’s a hard one
November 4th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Even if it passes, Mass will still have some catching up to do with my state’s fine quality herb.
November 4th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
I want to hear where TAWMY stands on the issue
November 4th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
The Massholes might finally get something right.
November 4th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Fucking Wolf Blitzer is talking to holograms LIVE on Tv right now!! Could you ever in a MILLION years imagine that we would have our election results reported to us by HOLOGRAM news reporters beamed straight in to our living room? Amazing!
November 4th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Haterade has good stuff. Over to his crib…trippin’.
November 4th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Brandon Marshall has done FIX JP’S MOUF
November 4th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Vote or die!
November 4th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Congrats Kevin, looks like you got your wish…
November 5th, 2008 at 6:41 am
Breaking Report from Quinzee:
Finally ya fackers made a gawddamn good decision to eayas tha miyinds of us safferin bawston fans. Only nowah will we beah able to cope with tha loss of oura beloved Tawmmy Brady. Next yearah will be hereah beforah ya knowah it fackers. Oh yeah, I am sawrry forah all the mean things I have said ovah da past fewah months. I love all of ya fackers.
/eats 6 bags of funyons and drinks 13 bottles of snapple
November 5th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Snapple is still around?
November 5th, 2008 at 9:41 am
PASSED, MOTHAFUCKAS!
Maj, you’re welcome to come to the victory party.
November 5th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
What about Randy’s once in a blue moon?
Not anymooore….
November 6th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Kevin faulk is awesome. Massachusetts: 1st place to allow gay people to marry and smoke pot at the same time. Brady Quinn will be a QB here sooner then I thought!! Bring it Quinny boy!
November 9th, 2008 at 9:32 am
A belated well done on this one guys. Funny as hell, topical, and damnit this is why I read your blog! When you get a hold of something you take it all the way. Keep up the good work!