Hey Black People, Have You Ever Spoken Out of Turn? Then You’re Not Allowed to Vote.
Oh no, it’s true. The government knows if you did and they’ll lock your ass up if you try to vote.
Says right here on this flyer I have. No, you can’t have a copy. I need this one. Look, it might not even be safe for you to be at a polling station. You’re lucky I tipped you off before you went in there and tried to cast a ballot. Government will snatch you right up and put a lien on your house.
I’m gonna level with ya, because I know what these scumbags are trying to do and it’s not right. I just don’t want to see another honest, hard-working black person fall prey to their oppressive tactics. Heck, it probably doesn’t even matter. Barack is up so far in the polls, there’s no way he can lose. Polls practically decide the election. This whole voting thing is some pro forma nonsense. The presidency was decided weeks ago.
What’s that? You’re never spoken out of turn? Never in your whole life? How’s about jaywalking? Taking more than one sample at the grocery store? Undressed someone with your eyes? Lied about your weight on a government-issued ID form?
Still no?
Oh.
Okay.
Well, here’s a sample Democratic ballot. Uh, did you know McCain became a Democrat yesterday? And Obama is a Republican? True story. Anybody who says otherwise is a dirty racist who’s only out to trick you.
Tags: racist old kerry collins, xmas ape
November 4th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Reminder: this guy might end up being the Super Bowl MVP.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
I saw Kerry Collins out on Rockefeller Plaza wearing a Barbershop Quartet hat and a lapel that read, “A black man with the surname Muhammad stole my dignity”.
And he was drinking toilet wine, heavily.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
I call bullshit. There’s no way Kerry Collins is sober enough to function on a Tuesday.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
You forgot that drinking and driving before the car door flies open at the polling place. Kerry loves that Johnny Walker Red.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neGbKHyGuHU
November 4th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Kerry Collins still has a Lawn Jockey
and it’s not made out of porcelain
November 4th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Death
Taxes
Kerry Collins droppin’ the Hard N behind closed doors.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Love that picture. “I’m happier than a tornado in a trailer park!”
November 4th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
I got a text message last night telling me the election was moved to Wednesday for Democrats due to high turnout.
Man, tonight is gonna be sweet.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
“I just voted for Jesse Jackson!”
/Got my Obama on.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Robot Nixon 2012
November 4th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
@Favre’s Next Interception: Or knows what “pro forma” means.
November 4th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
This is so close to what RNC weasels actually do that it’s kinda not funny. And who is Kerry Collins? Is he a well-known white supremacist? Or just the whitest dude in every pro sport everywhere, including every Canadian on every hockey team (ie, 80% of the NHL)?
November 4th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
@Slash: which is why NHLers stick to rowdy bachelor parties instead of guns, drugs, and domestic violence.