HERE WE GO DOUCHEBAG HERE WE GO
I won’t be joining you fine readers for the liveblog this evening, because I’ll be sitting in my wondrous limited view seats in the shittiest stadium in the NFL. If that’s what it takes to miss Berman with Obama and McCain, it was well worth being ripped off. Worry not, the Maj will probably be here, because rich boy is wealthy enough to afford season tickets and never use them.
This is actually the first Steelers regular season game I’ve attended in 10 years, since I went to the first ever game in PSI Net/M&T Bank/Whatever they call that shithole with purple seats in Baltimore in 1998 (Steelers won). That probably means I’m a bad fan. Whatevs. Still stoked.
Tags: ben rongrastname, here's to blacking out before kickoff, Homerism, not actually wearing zubaz pants, probably not reading the comments on this post if they lose, wearing grey jersey for optimal doucheiness, xmas ape
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:31 pm
What’s with the lamp?
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:33 pm
You probably won’t want to read the comments even if the Steelers win.
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:33 pm
wearing a Steeler helmet would up the douche factor by x100.
Godspeed, Ape.
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Who took the picture, Steely Mcbeam?
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:34 pm
also, nice “MWB” product placement near the lamp.
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Dead Tree Ape?
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:38 pm
also, nice “MWB” product placement near the lamp.
Also “A Few Seconds of Panic”!
/leaving now
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:38 pm
MWB and AFSOP
do you own any other books?
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Is that a fat head?
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:41 pm
No, I stenciled that on my wall. You like?
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Oh, and I won’t be around too much tonight, but I’ll certainly drop in.
For the record the aren’t MY seats, just seats I could access if I so choose. But I’d much prefer to watch on my couch.
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Oh, and in case you were wondering about the jersey color and the gang signs, it should be noted that Ape is the newest member of Pittsburgh’s fiercest upper middle class street gang, The Squirrel Hill Crew.
They are not to be trifled with!
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:44 pm
If you want to broadcast success, shouldn’t you wear a Penguins hat instead of a Pirates one?
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:45 pm
‘They say taupe is very soothing.’
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Alternate color team jersey? CHECK
Hat of city baseball team? CHECK
Immitation terrible towel? CHECK
Godspeed, Ape. Godspeed.
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:47 pm
You’re throwing gang signs. I’m alerting Commissioner Gooddell.
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:47 pm
BUT WHO WILL FEED JEAN GREY?!
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Dammit, a Pirates hat? Can’t we suffer in peace?
Have fun, Ape. Black and gold by 6.
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:50 pm
gray jersey in honor of Jean Grey?
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Cowherd bashed NFL fans on his radio show today. Apparently his producer got her feelings hurt at the Cowboy/Giants game yesterday. Called poeple who actually GO to games ‘meatballs, loosers’, etc. Make us proud Ape!!
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:59 pm
@UM
As a resident of Squirrel Hill, I would have to assume the other gang members are 2 old Jews and a Czech.
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
gray jersey in honor of Jean Grey?
Nope. Many out of town Steeler fans identify with the gray jersey because it reminds them of home where everything is gray.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/danieljludwig/138596810/
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Should have went with this jersey Ape:
http://www.ebaycloseout.com/servlet/the-207/USC-HINES-WARD-%2319/Detail
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Spilly- they control the territory from that kosher market to that other kosher market. but sushi too is sort of a safe zone.
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
This picture is a total fake, you guys. Michael Rappaport would never be caught dead in a Pirates hat. Though the gang signs do look authentic.
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Myron Cope’s body lies a-mouldering in the grave, But his stupid-ass terrible towel goes marching on.
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:21 pm
+1 Grimey, all the way at the top. Hate that commercial.
Who buys the alternate?
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:23 pm
I have little doubt you’ll manage to be blacked-out by kickoff, Ape. You look spectacularly douche-y, by the way. Naturally, as a Boston gal, I am turned on by this. Enjoy the game.
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Let’s talk about what we don’t see in the picture. Ape’s camera is sitting on his pillow in which the case was personally signed by Jerome Bettis back in 2003 and hasn’t been washed since. That pillow is sitting on top of his Steelers sheet and comforter set his mom got him last Christmas and that’s just the top bunk…..
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:28 pm
That’s a pretty nice dorm room.
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Another +1 to Grimey at the top. Nice work.
Also, the hat needs to be crooked.
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Is your family from Quinzee?
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Is that your algebra textbook in the bottom left corner?
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:37 pm
not impressed with the jizz towel, looks small and futile.
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:40 pm
you look strained… FYI, a little Metamucil will help you pinch that loaf before kickoff
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I can’t believe the YMCA let you paint the Steelers logo on the wall.
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:55 pm
XMas Ape’s print journalism career lies a-mouldering in the grave, but his will to post questionable pictures of himself in Steelers gear goes marching on.
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Weed and dAndy, I was going to throw out something involving bunkbeds and Terry Bradshaw but the YMCA comment trumped my brain.
grimey stretched the field on the first play.
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:06 pm
I’m the first one to make the Michael Rapaport reference? Really?
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Note the Men With Balls by the lamp. Drew pervades all.
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Is that a clip from a new Subway $5 Foot Long commercial?
And that hat definitely needs to be not just crooked, but Plaxico crooked.
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:18 pm
PROTIP: Under the picture of the cat and Genghis Khan is the notice your electricity is being turned off. You might want to take care of that.
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Oh, and in case you were wondering about the jersey color and the gang signs, it should be noted that Ape is the newest member of Pittsburgh’s fiercest upper middle class street gang, The Squirrel Hill Crew.
Ape is Jewish?
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Is that your collection of Good Charlotte CDs in the corner?
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
http://www.mineospizza.com/
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:36 pm
For the record the aren’t MY seats, just seats I could access if I so choose. But I’d much prefer to watch on my couch.
Ah, the couch. Comfy. Access to food and beer less than $9. Access to restrooms without standing beyond 12 drunks at a piss-stained urinal. Does not require a 1-mile walk. Ticket price: $0. And with a 42-inch HDTV flatscreen, the view is actually better.
Why do people attend games at FedEx again?
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Is that sunlight? In your mom’s basement? What’d you do, dig a tunnel out to the alley?
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Be sure to go over the NFL Fan Conduct Policy again.
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Basements sure are much brighter these days…and not as moldy.
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:50 pm
@Needs More Cheerleaders: Didn’t read your comment first.
EXACTLY.
November 3rd, 2008 at 5:20 pm
true story about MWB:
i bought the book and found crumbs in the first chapter. normally this would be kind of annoying, but they were the crumbs i left there a week prior when i was flipping through the book while i was eating at barnes and noble. apparently they hadn’t sold the one copy that they had on sale.
hilarious book though
November 3rd, 2008 at 6:30 pm
@ OCFC: NICE
November 3rd, 2008 at 7:14 pm
O AN HE SEXY
November 3rd, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Did you really stencil that on your wall?
/Have trouble picking up sarcasm
//If you did stencil that, damn impressive
November 4th, 2008 at 7:03 am
The Pittsburgh Pirates.
16 straight YEARS of sub – .500 baseball. Folks, you have to TRY and be that incompetent.