HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
The first time I ever met a Patriots fan was 10 days after my 20th birthday. It was week 1 of the 2002 season, the Steelers and Patriots held the first-ever regular season game in Gillette, a rematch of the previous season’s AFC Title Game. Only where I was watching the game, there wasn’t one of them, there was somehow a crowd of Pats fans. I honestly couldn’t believe it. Where had these people been during the run the previous year? Or, more to the point, at any point ever?
Back in high school, I remember a discussion me and my friends had about which team jerseys you would never see anyone wearing in public. We hashed out the following: the Cardinals, Jaguars, Seahawks and Patriots (I’m sure the Texans would join that list if it were made after the 2002 season and the Seahawks would probably be off it now). Granted this was made by a bunch of teenagers outside D.C., so regional factors had something to do with it, but of all those teams, the Pats had the least excuses. They had been to two Super Bowls. We were on the East Coast, hardly far from their territory. Red Sox hats, those were easy to pick out. So why not even so much as one Bledsoe jersey?
It’s not as though Pats fans didn’t exist, but the only place I ever stumbled upon them was AOL chats when the Steelers and Patriots exchanged playoff wins in ‘96 and ‘97. Still, the change from near nonexistent fanbase to ’90s Cowboys-esque bandwagon practically overnight was staggering and unlike anything I’d ever seen in sports.
I didn’t hate the Pats after the ‘01 loss, at least no more than the Chargers and Broncos teams that had won in the playoffs in Three Rivers in the ’90s. The gloating, smug fans I’d met in ‘02 got the hate ball rolling. Then as the years wore on, the fans got more omnipresent, the team got more cocky, more fawned upon by the media and added dicksmacks like Corey Dillon, Rodney Harrison, Vince Wilfork and Randy Moss.
Anyway, all of this is a long way of saying I hope every Pats fan gets run through with a broadsword so they can watch their viscera leak all over their goddamn John Lynch jerseys. Go the most ethnically diverse corner of Hell, you racist Masshole fucks.
Also, the NFL is encouraging me to embrace my hateful impulses this holiday season by scheduling the Steelers against the Patriots, Cowboys and Ravens the next three weeks.
Tags: hate, mr. black, open threads, sundays are for homerism, xmas ape
November 30th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
I wonder if I’m in the majority or minority as a pats fan who hates all other pats fans?
November 30th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Be fair, Alabama fan probably at Troy or UAB, the Pats hardly ever wear puke orange uniforms.
and I nominate Denis Leary’s F150 ads for a death sentence.
November 30th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
mr.black
RACIST!
/yes I get the reference
November 30th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
oh goody, Hoculi. That won’t factor into the game at all.
November 30th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
WILLIE
This type of play needs to continue for the next 58 minutes, thank you.
November 30th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
huzzah!
November 30th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Hochuli fuckup in 3…2…1…
November 30th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
And Hoculi’s crew working their magic already.
November 30th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
I got stuck with Denver at Jets…..I fucking hate CBS.
November 30th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
guess what Dan, the Pats owned Bettis.
November 30th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I hate Steeler fans every bit as much as I do Pats fans, but hot damn Ape, that’s some good hatin’. Nicely done. And I hope you bring out some more of this for the Dallas game next week.
November 30th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Another Randy Moss drop? Clearly, the ball has a lack of respect for him.
November 30th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
did i catch a mountain goats reference in this post??
November 30th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
@placekickerholder
That’s a ball that WELKAH would NEVAH drop.
November 30th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Rongrastname is not making me smirre.
Why, oh fucking why did I think he would be a better play than Rodgers. I Hate Hate Hate myself.
November 30th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
I CANNOT fucking believe Dan Dierdork still has a job. I thought we got rid of that douche after they canned his ass off MNF years ago.
Seriously, what assmunch would (re)hire this twit? I’d love to hear the conversation in that meeting room.
/Dan is the dick joke
November 30th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
It’s not raining in Pittsburgh. Did someone coat the ball in butter?
November 30th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
At least Pats fans, not that I am one, are easily recognizable as bandwagon fans/. Steelers fans, no matter who they are, if you ask them when they became a fan, they say the 70’s, even though they were born in 1982. By the way, I think the Giants stole the Pats stealing techniques. They knew every offensive and defensive play the redskins called.
November 30th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
yeah, Beastly, none of us were there for the John Hannah/Sam Cunningham/Steve Grogan era.
November 30th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
You know what? I’m inclined to give Ape a +2 for that one. (Consults with judges, and Ed Hochuli.) And yes, I’m giving the +2 for that. Well done, sir.
November 30th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
@ El Borracho- I’d say the majority…. all of you hate each other for being bandwagon fans just like everyone else.
Less Than Jake said it best
“Everyone here hates everyone here for doing the same things that they do”
November 30th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Spare me the histrionics. Go Patriots.
November 30th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
I love when members of 1 intolerable fanbase accuse and bemoan another intolerable fanbase of said intolerability
November 30th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
there’s such a thing as a tolerable fanbase? If I can tolerate them, they probably don’t exist. Like Jags fans. They might exist in nature, but I’ve never seen one outside a zoo.
November 30th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Honestly, I felt the same way about Red Sox fans before 2004. Living in FL, you hardly every saw a Sawx hat. Soon as they won the world series, those pink BoSox hats were all over the college campus and every other asshole was wearing their shirt with “pride”. I puked on all of them.
November 30th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Nothing like a big heaping serving of hate for your Sunday afternoon. And it’s not just random flaky unjust hate, it’s backed up by historical research, scientific fact, and, well, cheating.
November 30th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Favrian!
November 30th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Favre just hit the receiver perfectly in stride. And by receiver I mean defender.
November 30th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Dan Dierdorf: “Ben Roethlisberger is an old-school guy, he likes to be able to feel the ball.”
This statement neglects to take into account that Roethlisberger has worn a glove on his throwing hand on several occasions, even when not affected by a thumb injury, throughout his career. And I’m a Steelers fan, for Christ’s sake. I hate hate hate you Dierdorf.
November 30th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
kill that dahkie!
November 30th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Tom Brady: Hey Randy, can I talk to you?
Randy Moss: Sure, what’s up?
Tom: So, I saw you caught 3 touchdowns from Matt last week…
Randy: Yeah, Matt was givin 8-1 all the respect.
Tom: Yeaaaah, about that. Remember those 23 touchdowns I threw you last year when we were undefeated and breaking records? You liked that, didn’t ya?
Randy: Hells yea. You know you my boy, Tom.
Tom: Alright, great. So I’m gunna need you to drop every pass Matt throws you for the rest of the season. It’s whats best for the team…
November 30th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Let Cassell go this offseason. Billy Flutie will be Brady’s new protege. NO ONE DENIES THIS
November 30th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
“Casey Hampton is a run stuffer.” And a food stuffer.
November 30th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Cassel is going to sure have fun getting killed in Detroit or St. Louis next year.
November 30th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
oh, fuck me.
November 30th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
SMIRRE
November 30th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
I’m so used to this happening the other way around in Pats/Steelers games that I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
HAY WE GOTS TO GO OUT ON THE FIELD AGAIN? WE JUST GOT DONE COACH! I WANTED TO PLAY NINTENDO!
November 30th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
WELKAH!! NO!!!!
jesus, that’s a big hit.
November 30th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
That dahkie’s DEAD! WELKAH DOES NAWT DESERVE CHEAP SHAWTS!
November 30th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
WELKAH GOT RAAAAAAAAWKED!
November 30th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Wes do you know where you are?
November 30th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Unnecessary roughness my big black ass. Goddamn, I hate the Bitch Mentality that has infected the NFL.
November 30th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
STLIP SACK
FUMBELL
barr so srippely… sirry lain.
November 30th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
To Mr. Polamalu:
Please report to Commissioner Goodell’s office on Tuesday. Bring your checkbook.
Signed:
The NFL Front Office
November 30th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
“pittsburgh just exploded all over new england”?
ewwwww.
November 30th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Announcer – Pittsburgh exploded all over in the Patriots in the third quarter.
Gross
November 30th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Nate hord on to the barr!!
November 30th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
FUCKING CHRIST.
November 30th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
and game.
nicely played Pittsburgh. fuckers.
November 30th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Every receiver on both sides should have their hands shoved into a woodchipper immediately following the game. This is fucking ugly.
November 30th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
/hangs self with Tom Brady jersey
Guhh. And the Jets are losing, too. Totally blown opportunity. GOD.
November 30th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Hey ape.
Fuck you.
\but thanks for being funny. but still…fuck you.
November 30th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
If I know Ape’s homerism, and I think I do, Polamalu is your Meast.
November 30th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
FMRA,
You can be like the announcers and just blame everything on Matt Light.
You know the real reason he wasn’t ready for today’s game…
November 30th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Right, Dierdorf, Mike Webster redefined the center position. Because before Mike Webster, all they did was snap the ball and block. Now, on the other hand, shut the fuck up and choke.
November 30th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Hines smirre whe he prays Duck Hunt!
November 30th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
If Polamalu is the meast Staubachlvr may put a bounty out on Ape
November 30th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
* when
November 30th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
@85, well, Webster did add ‘do so many steroids and other drugs as a player that you go insane and die a homeless person’ to the position. So he has that going for him. Which is sad.
November 30th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
@ Slothrop, Barrett Robbins hears you loud and clear
November 30th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
The Danian had a cool 24 yards on 14 rushes today. Next week 2 YARDS PER CARRY!
November 30th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
@MorelOrel, if he can hear me, I might have to snitch on his ass–Reward money be tight.
November 30th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Whoops
November 30th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
sweet fancy moses this is a beat-down.
November 30th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Uh I hope Harrison is your Meast.
November 30th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Why are people wasting so much time and energy talking about two teams that are not going to win the superbowl?
November 30th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Joey Potter approves of this ass kicking.
November 30th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
WOOOOOOOOO!
Lawrence Timmons is the newest addition to the David Tyree/Bernard Pollard Hall of Fame
November 30th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
“Distractional” Really Dierdorff?
November 30th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Time for all the Massholes to officially jump off the Patriots bandwagon. Nobody has fans as loyal as Bruins Nation!
November 30th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
It’s all Slater’s fault. Had he not muffed that kick-off, it would have been a different game (by different, I mean, not a total blowout).
November 30th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
… and the Matt Cassel obsession ceases to exist.
November 30th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
All right Ben-Jarvis! Hotty Toddy – I will show myself out now.
November 30th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
… until Cassel throws for 400 yards again against the vaunted Seahawk defense.
November 30th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Belichick slaps Cassel in the face.
“Get to the hydrofoil!”
November 30th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
If Polamalu is the meast Staubachlvr may put a bounty out on Ape
Except he thinks the Meast column is too overrated to read to begin with…
November 30th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
No one ever bought my jersey, in New England or anywhere else.
And I was actually sorta good when I was a Patriot.
Or at least I didn’t suck as bad there as I did in Buffalo and Dallas.
New England sucks.
November 30th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
“If I know Ape’s homerism, and I think I do, Polamalu is your Meast.”
Troy was great however Deebo (as usual) was the biggest meast on that defense…And possibly in the world.
November 30th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
There’s no bias like Anti-Patriot bias.
November 30th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Fun fact: if the Fins win out, they win the division. Suck on that, Jest and Patsies.
November 30th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
[ sits back and awaits KTFO theatre ]
November 30th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Oh, it’s coming.
AHAHAHAHAHA
November 30th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Actually the gentleman in the Video is correct, Nick Kazur Patriots OT, is, in fact, a snitch. (http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3425395)
Also- the bandwagoning, if you want to call it that, started in ‘93/94, which was the last year you could get season tickets without going on a waiting list- which was also the first year they made the playoffs since the mid-eighties. Like every other team in the history of sports, at some point the team played well and people started following them.
My point is… cram it with walnuts ugly.
@Gino Tourettesa +1
@
November 30th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
@Ape: Your Stillers are gonna get trucked next weekend. No one denies this. And anyone thinking the Stillers can beat the Cowboys can get a boot shoved knee deep in their ass. AM I RIGHT? Huh, what, huh, what, FUCK YOU!!!
/enough KSK schticks in one post already
December 1st, 2008 at 9:53 am
Clearly not enough people were “enjoying” the Jets get beat up by the BRONCOS???? I cackled like a crazy person everytime Brest messed his pants. The announcers kept saying “Brett needs to get going, get in a groove.” IT IS THE FACKING THIRD QUARTER ASSHAT! Not happening dudes…cackle, cackle, cackle.
December 1st, 2008 at 10:36 am
The Patriots have sold out every game since 1993. No one denies this.
December 1st, 2008 at 1:58 pm
@ Drew Bledsoe: Aww, that’s not true Drew! I actually did buy your jersey! It’s actually still sitting in my closet, next to the Ben Coates jersey, and the Curtis Martin one, and that Ted Johnson one I used to love. Hell, I’ve even got a Chris Slade jersey in there and (god help me) an Andy Katzenmoyer one! So buck up old man.
It’s probably also worth noting that I shaved Hugh Millen’s number into the back of my head when I was 7 years old.
/should be ashamed of himself