Frank Gifford thinks you are a sissy and wants you to smoke
Today we have Frank Gifford, in all his wood-paneled splendor, extolling the virtues of Lucky Strike cigarettes and giving us a glimpse inside the mysterious huddles of the pre-Super Bowl era (a.k.a. the Dark Ages). Here the All-Pro halfback shows us the finer points of offense—and manliness.
Let’s break it down, shall we?
0:02 I can’t decide if ‘Captain Bijou’ sounds like a gay stripper or a third-rate super hero. “Able leap an intrusive ad in a single bound!”
0:06 “The question football fans ask me more than any other: Do you ever worry about getting caught shagging a flight attendant in a bugged motel room? And to answer that question: No. No, I do not.”
0:13 Wasn’t Vince Lombardi the offensive coordinator for the Giants during Gifford’s glory days? Are we to believe one of the true coaching geniuses in football let these hung-over jokesters hash out the plays in the huddle?
0:20 Looks like Hall of Fame lineman Rosey Brown isn’t included in this commercial. I can’t imagine why. Maybe he wasn’t a smoker.
0:32 “After a game and a good shower I always get lucky, with Lucky Strike… and your grandmother.”
0:42 L.S. / M.F.T. Lucky Strike Makes Frank something-that-starts-with-T. Shit, I never was any good at stuff like that.
0:53 Christmas cigarette cartons. Pictures of pinecones and bows are a festive holiday way to ease the pain of your lung cancer and emphysema.
1:05 Dude, we are not going to your site.
So there we have it, Frank Gifford is a man’s man and you are a wuss. Four seconds after that commercial shoot was over, Giff had a scotch in his hand, some swing on the hi-fi and a redhead on his lap. Meanwhile, what are doing? Sipping on some coffee and reading a fruity sports blog? You make Frank Gifford sick, you pansy.
Tags: old people, youtubage
November 5th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
“Lucky Strike. It’s toasted!”
November 5th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
I’d be Frank Giffords stunt cock any day of the week and twice on Sundays.*
*excludes Kathy Lee.
November 5th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Lucky Strike Means Fibrous Tumors.
November 5th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
“I always smoke Lucky Strike after the game … and before the game … and during timeouts … and while running slant routes”
November 5th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I CAN’T SMOKE MOMMY SAYS IT’S BAD PLUS THIS ONE TIME I DID SMOKE AND DADDY CAUGHT ME SO TO PUNISH ME HE MADE ME SMOKE AN ENTIRE CARTON AND I STARTED TO THROW UP AND COOPER AND PEY-PEY LAUGHED AND LAUGHED. I’M GOING TO THE POST-SEASON AND YOU’RE NOT, PEY-PEY. HAHAHA! - ELISHA
November 5th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
You know what I got for Christmas? Oh, it was a banner fucking year at the old Gifford family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, “Hey, smoke up Cody.”
November 5th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
L.S.M.F.T. = Loose Straps Make Floppy Titties
/The old chesnuts never go out of style
November 5th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
@Slothrop for the Breakfast Club reference.
To Frank Gifford: Concrete Charley disagrees with you. You might remember him….then again….maybe not
November 5th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
I prefer Kools. Because they’re menthol, and because our new President prefers them, too.
November 5th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Lucky Strikes soothe the T-zone!
November 5th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Lucky Strikes: More Fucking Tar! The first xtreme advertising campaign?
November 5th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Don Draper didn’t approve of the retardation of his magical words.
November 5th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
NOW WITH MORE NICO-GLYCEROL!!!
November 5th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
10 minutes after this commercial Chuck Bednarik overturned the record player, groped the redhead and then knocked Gifford the FUCK OUT!!!!
November 5th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Lucky Strike? No wonder he looks like a tanned leather couch these days.
November 5th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTGTR0zdMt8
November 5th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
“It’s toasted.” I like it.
November 5th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I would trust Frank’s judgement more if he hadn’t, you know, porked Kathy Lee
November 5th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
I don’t smoke any cigarette unless it’s represented by a cartoon animal of some sort. This way smoking reminds me of my childhood.
/lights a Camel, unfiltered
November 5th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Let’s Screw, My Fingers Tired
November 5th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Lucky Strikes remind me of the war.
After blasting out a Jap bunker with a flamethrower followed by a ten pound satchel charge, Sarge and me and the boys would take five with the rich toasted goodness of Lucky Strikes. Then it was on to the next cave.
Okinawa was a lot more fun than the history books tell it, you lazy young punks.
November 5th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
I am embarassed.
November 5th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
@DeepFriar: I too, am less than impressed with a man that thought any sort of time with KL was worthwhile. She is the dumbest bitch.
November 6th, 2008 at 6:22 am
So the general consensus is you wouldn’t have boned Kathy Lee back in the day? Fuck you guys, I would have mounted that lickity splizit! Just do a google image search for Kathy Lee with the safe search off and you’ll see.
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=kathy+lee&gbv=2