Even Zero Can’t Save the Sex Cannon Now
The early slate is topped by critical divisional games between the Vikes and the Pack, the Saints and the Falcons as well as the faltering Bills against the flaky Pats. In other action, Ufford gets to grit his teeth for three hours while watching his team play against Joey Porter for the first time since Super Bowl XL. And the Sex Cannon will shower Tennessee defense fantasy owners with points as liberally as he slings the cum on an elevator full of sorority girls.
November 9th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I’m considering stealing a Toyota and running down Kenny Mayne…yep.
November 9th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
That commercial is much better now!
November 9th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
FUCK IT, I’M GOING DEEP
/sorry, that never gets old
November 9th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Who did the Steelers loose to today?
November 9th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Haterade,
Kindly return to Yahoo with all the other mouthbreathing dipshits who can’t spell.
November 9th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
apparently the refs want the Patriots to win. BS personal foul and ignored the red flag, nice
November 9th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
oh please let sexy rexy destroy the titans, i want more throgasms in my life.
November 9th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Culpepper’s first completed pass of the season was to the other team. Niiiiice
November 9th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
And Woodson just got his 5th pick of the year.
November 9th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
THROW IT, FRER-
Wait, nevermind.
November 9th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
You’d think by week 9 the commentators would stop talking about Favre.
November 9th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Nice overthrow, Trent Edwards
November 9th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Deep ball off the back foot intercepted. The Cumslinger Lives. It was beautiful.
November 9th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
“Fuck it, I’m goin’ deep. Booker’s got double coverage, but what the hell.”
Tipped and that’s pick #1 for the Sex Cannon.
November 9th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
And the Titans respond by crapping on the goal line
November 9th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Damn Hall (FB Titans) You got to tuck that ball away. You got to STUFF IT in the pussy basket!
/amshelek
November 9th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
I love what you do for me, Toyooooota/ I love how you set me free, Toyoooota!
Way better.
November 9th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Obviously, that ref in the Vikings-Packers game isn’t a golfer.
November 9th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Yeah, not sure what that call in the Packers/Vikings game was all about.
November 9th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
TWO safties! Rogers looks like a clown.
November 9th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
/considers merits of Rogers/clown bad ms paint…
//opens beer instead
November 9th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
From the Chicago Tribune’s game blog:
“Rex Grossman said being booed ‘is just part of being at Soldier Field for me.’ That’s actually kind of depressing.”
November 9th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
They’re not saying boo, they’re saying “booooooooooookkake!”
November 9th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
I am so sick of Dierdorf. “There is no way I can envision Kyle Orton getting into this game”. Yeah, us either. Shut the fuck up about it so the camera man will stop showing that atrocious beard.
November 9th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Oh, and Bob Babich can blow me.
November 9th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
16th pick of the year for the Pack, 6 of those are pick 6’s.
November 9th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I just checked the stats at work. I started Brandon Jacobs and Chris Johnson this morning and benched Maurice Jones-Drew.
MJD just buttfucked my team so hard that the room reeks of butthole.
November 9th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
AHAHAHA
Maybe the Pack doesn’t need an offense with that D/ST!!!
November 9th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Ape,
Good to see BDD is not the only contributor here to bite Maddox’s style.
November 9th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Dick Enberg: “Well manicured victory by the New England Patriots.”
The fuck is that supposed to mean?
November 9th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Cassel got his cuticles done beforehand.
November 9th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Ed Hochuli Blown Call Count +1
Came in and over ruled someone on his team who throw a horse collar flag. His biceps must be sucking up all the blood that should be going to his brain.
November 9th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
For a little while there I thought Drew Stanton might look good.
PSYCHE!
/he has played the quarterback position before, right?
November 9th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
… and the Saints con me again into thinking they’re not the season’s biggest anomaly when it comes to putting back to back wins. Fuck you, hurricane refugees!
November 9th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Grossman with the ball, down a score, 3:00 to go, in Titans territory. Could it have ended any other way?
November 9th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I want to find the people who put together the post-commercial game clip segments and tell them to find some new fucking music. They’ve been using Fluke’s Absurd for about 10 years now.
An aside, how the fuck do you get profile pics in your comment
November 9th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Thanks for playing, Rex.
Dr. Krenzel, please report to the lab’s courtesy phone … you’ve received a phone call.
November 9th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Did Baltimore really put up 41? I mean it’s Houston but forty-fucking-one? With a QB who couldn’t win a job at the stellar University of Pittsburgh?
November 9th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Jevon Kearse just turned his 90 into a 9-0 with tape. This concludes the “mentioning Jevon Kearse” portion of the 2008 NFL season. Hope you enjoyed it.
November 9th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Gus Ferrotte really belongs in a 1950’s motorcycle gang
November 9th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Rex Grossman is a gigantic, stinking, STD infected vagina. I hope he kills himself.
November 9th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
@ Fustercluck
Sign up at http://en.gravatar.com/
November 9th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Watching a little of the Raiders-Panthers game, and I swear to God the announcer tried to say “that’s the Panthers’ Achilles’ Heel” and instead said “Akili Smith.”
November 9th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Gus Ferrotte really belongs in a 1950’s motorcycle gang
He did. Back in the 1950s.
November 9th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Just got back from the Vikes game, and I feel great. Though there was a huge fight right in front of me and I did nothing.
November 9th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
@ TDub
If a drunk, morbidly-obese Packers fan got his ass kicked and had a heart attack in front of you and you did nothing, then you’ve actually served mankind. It’s a long drive back to Sheboygan, motherfuckers.
SKÅL VIKINGS!
November 9th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
@DavidtheUnderpantsGnome -> Muchos thanks.
Vegas had to have taken a bath with the money of those who took the Bears and the points.
In fairness, if I hadn’t blown my wad on Vanderbilt +23.5 last night I’d have been right there with them.
November 9th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
thats way to do it Rex, f–k if your special team, RB and defense cant produce quality yardage then f–k the world.