Daylight Saving Time Means You’re Actually Up For the Early Games

White supremacists love Barack Obama, and they’d be similarly enamored with this quarterback stable in the early games. The Titans seem primed for an early win at home against the Pack, but keep in mind that the 1 p.m. games are never easy on Kerry Collins’ hangovers. Another QB who might’ve played for Green Bay at some point leads his fellow 4-3 team into Buffalo for some power outage fun. If those don’t do it for you, there’re always the minimally consequential contests between the Texans and Vikes and the Cleveland Browns and the Cleveland Browns of Baltimore.

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50 Responses to “Daylight Saving Time Means You’re Actually Up For the Early Games”

  1. Spanky Datass Says:

    Hangover? Yep. But The Matron Saint was on when I staggered out of bed this morn and with her awesome powers and assists from Cindy B and Hannah Storm, I might survive the day.

  2. TF Says:

    1 p.m. games are never easy on Kerry Collins’ hangovers.

    Let the record show that Ape made the “drinky drinky” motion.

  3. DavidtheUnderpantsGnome Says:

    I hate repeating comments from other posts, but I think bringing the “Carissa” to your attention is worth it.

    http://www.3wishes.com/bride.asp

  4. 310ToJoba Says:

    What, no pretentiousness this time?

  5. Christmas Ape Says:

    Aaron Rodgers looks a little rattled

  6. Westbrook Is My Anti-Drug Says:

    I wonder how much fun Brett Favre is gonna have out there when the only thing that Buffalo has going for it is Applebees?

    /Willis McGahee

  7. flubby Says:

    Orlovsky is getting to the sucking right away. Could a fat Culpepper without any knowledge of the playbook be any worse?

  8. bk Says:

    evidently the ball has been replaced with a greased pig in buffalo…

  9. Christmas Ape Says:

    Who needs Horseballs when Joshua Cribbs is the entirety of your offense?

  10. Colts and Hoosiers Fan Says:

    This is bullshit, Jags-Bengals or Bears-Lions. I should have stayed at the strip club longer last night.

  11. bk Says:

    the jets/bills game is officially a shitfest.

  12. DavidtheUnderpantsGnome Says:

    As a GB fan, it warms my heart to see Hester fumble.

    And just like that, the LIONS are up on the Bears!

  13. Broseph Stalin Says:

    With that touchdown catch, Tyler Thigpen has moved up to third on the receiver depth chart for the Chiefs.

  14. Spatula Says:

    It’s worth repeating, when the Browns and the Ravens play, I’m rooting for the quantum black hole to pass through the stadium taking both teams and their fans with it. Maybe to an alternate universe where everything is black and gold.

    /Goin’ to my happy place

  15. Stylist Mick Says:

    Ryan Fitzpatrick is making his Ivy league compadres just on the edge of killing themselves from Wall Street tanking happy this morning.

  16. Boy Howdy Says:

    Lendale’s done for the half after that. Somebody get him a milkshake IV.

  17. bk Says:

    november 2 and the christmas commercials have begun.

    everyone pick out your favorite wall and commence beating your head against it.

  18. DavidtheUnderpantsGnome Says:

    Looks like Orton just got his ACL popped. Good thing I didn’t pick him up for fantasy!

    Viva le Cumslinger!

  19. Spanky Datass Says:

    Who’s the retard in street clothes who tried to head-butt a helmeted teamate? Titans IR douche?

  20. SaveUsKyleOrton! Says:

    Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

    FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!

    :-(

  21. Haterade Says:

    Why is Sage Rosenfels in the game I cannot SEEEEEE

  22. SaveUsKyleOrton! Says:

    I really hope that the fuckhead Neanderthal “fans” at the game don’t boo Grossman for every incompletion or mis-step. Nothing like fans who try to intentionally shatter their own QB’s confidence.

    /yes I know the Cumslinger is not actually “good”.

  23. SaveUsKyleOrton! Says:

    And what’s this? Mike Brown is also injured and out for the game? That’s unpossible!

  24. Devine Says:

    Sorry, SUKO. Tough break. Or, if I were you, I’d be hoping it’s a tough sprain.

    Can anyone think of a more boring must-see game than Titans/Packers this season?

  25. MarionCobretti Says:

    As a KSK fan, I’m stoked for the Cumslinger’s return. As a Bears fan, I’m sick to my stomach.

  26. Devine Says:

    And as a fan of the greatest movies of all time, I’m stoked for your name, Cobra.

  27. Christmas Ape Says:

    Aaron Rodgers tries a throwgasm with the news that Grossman is back, and the result is about the same.

  28. DavidtheUnderpantsGnome Says:

    I’ve never done it before, but Grossman actually had me rolling on the floor laughing with that overthrow.

    If Orton is out for the year, are the Bears front office bad enough to actually extend a guy on IR? If not, do they extend Grossman?

    /Cackles

  29. Elle Says:

    I think my ears are deceiving me…the announcers of this Browns/Browns of Baltimore game were comparing Joe Flacco to Ben Rongrast and they referred to Ben as “smart.”

    Also, Flacco went 3 and out on that drive.

  30. Christmas Ape Says:

    Pretty sure it took Ben a season and a half to lose as many games as Flacco has now.

  31. Christmas Ape Says:

    And just like that, Bmore be fucked.

  32. riz Says:

    Childress with another “kick-ass” 3 yard screen pass on 3rd n 12. Chilly has officially started the prevent offense again with a 7 point lead.

  33. Gino Tourettesa Says:

    I just saw something kinda funny in the Titan’s-Packers game:

    A Tennessee cop working security in the end zone just reacted big time to a non-pass interference call that could have been a Titans’ score. He pointed to where the flag should be and had a fan’s “what the fuck?” expression. I know they’re not supposed to watch the game, but I don’t see how they can’t. Any reader here would be the worst on-field employee if he worked an NFL game.

  34. Haterade Says:

    If ever there was a QB that put his team on his back and carried them to victory it was Ben Roethlisberger

  35. Gino Tourettesa Says:

    Drinking Game for the Suicidal NFL Fan:

    Have a shot every time that fucking Toyota “Saved by Zero” ad comes on. Your BAC will reach fatal levels in no time!

  36. foxxy brown Says:

    Favre just got slobberknockered. more, please, Bills

  37. Christmas Ape Says:

    Oop. Spoke too soon. The Ravens came back. I should never place that much faith in the Browns.

  38. Devine Says:

    It’s like my father always told me: You can never count out a John Harbaugh team. You just can’t do it.

  39. Devine Says:

    Incomplete pass on first down, as an apparently frightened Kerry Collins fires the ball into the defensive line. Now THAT’S the quarterback we Giants fans remember!

  40. Devine Says:

    Did the line of scrimmage and first-down line in the GB/TEN game just wildly fluctuate, or am I stroking out? Just want to know if I should call a doctor.

  41. Stylist Mick Says:

    Throwing into double and triple coverage? Did the Packers just resign Favre to an extension?

  42. Elle Says:

    “Pretty sure it took Ben a season and a half to lose as many games as Flacco has now”

    Oh, I know. I thought the Ben/Flacco comparison was insulting and was just perpetuating the “Ben is nothing but a game-manager” myth. All I’m saying is that Ben, well, Ben doesn’t strike me as the type to be a pretentious drunk. But you never know. Maybe Hines breaks out the wine, and he and Ben have some deep philosophical discussions.

  43. Leigh Says:

    Maybe Hines breaks out the wine, and he and Ben have some deep philosophical discussions.

    “Rongrastname, do realize that after January Dick Cheney will no ronger be our vice president?”
    “HARF HARF HARF YOU SAID ‘DICK.’”

  44. Gino Tourettesa Says:

    You can smell the gravy and Axe Effect Tony Siragusa is sweating on the side lines.

  45. Christmas Ape Says:

    We got more Brady Quinn chants in Believeland.

  46. foxxy brown Says:

    i can’t believe Fox cut to commercial preceeding Raiders/Falcons kickoff JUST AS BIRONAS WAS KICKING. fuck you fox

  47. TitansFan Says:

    Attention All Titans Haters!!! 8-0 motherfuckers. Eat my asshole beyotches!

  48. Christmas Ape Says:

    Jesus. Titans fans are quickly becoming insufferable.

  49. Pubic Enemy Says:

    Did anyone see Orton’s face at the tunnel as he was carted off? He looked like he passed out from drinking.

    Fucking Sexy Rexy. You goddamn son of a bitch.

  50. TitansFan Says:

    @Christmas Ape:
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

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