Always Be Covering: Even If You’re No Longer Undefeated
Oh well, it had to end sometime, and for the 2008 Titans that time was Week 9. Sure Tennessee is still undefeated in the technical sense, but last week marked their first loss against the spread. In beating Green Bay by three points the Titans fell just a single point away from their eighth straight cover. And do you know why they didn’t score that crucial point? It’s because they are WORTHLESS PIECES OF RETARDED YAK SHIT!
LISTEN YOU PANSY ASS COUSIN TOUCHERS, YOU FUCKERS BETTER NOT PULL THAT SHIT AGAIN THIS WEEK OR I’LL RIP THE JAW RIGHT OFF OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING HEAD AND TURN IT INTO A GOLD ASHTRAY! SO SACK UP AND GO KICK SOME ASS!
Now that’s what I call motivation. Maybe Romeo Crennel should try some of that shit.
On to the picks!
Carolina -10 at Oakland
The Raiders under Tom Cable make the Raiders under Lane Kiffin look like the Raiders under John Madden. Which is odd, because usually things under John Madden are quite flat.
New York Giants +3 at Philadelphia
Everybody is going to pick this line using the reasoning that the Giants shouldn’t be giving 3 to anybody in the league anywhere right now. This can’t end well.
Tennessee -3 at Chicago
Another road game against the NFC North, and another three point spread. The difference this week of course is the presence of the one and only Sex Cannon. Come on Rexy, just say “fuck it, I’m throwing a pick six!”
Jacksonville -7 at Detroit
How the fuck did I pick all road teams again? God damn it, I’m a cockbrain. Oh well, at least I picked a team that’s playing against a quarterback who has been sitting on a couch all season. Oh, and Daunte? I meant to tell you that there’s a new rule this year that allows you to run out the back of the endzone. They’ll never see it coming.
Enjoy the weekend, and be sure to stay sexy.
November 7th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
LISTEN YOU PANSY ASS COUSIN TOUCHERS, YOU FUCKERS BETTER NOT PULL THAT SHIT AGAIN THIS WEEK OR I’LL RIP THE JAW RIGHT OFF OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING HEAD AND TURN IT INTO A GOLD ASHTRAY! SO SACK UP AND GO KICK SOME ASS!
*************************************************
Channeling your inner Coughlin again I see.
November 7th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Is that cheerleader pointing to her ad on Vibe Line?
November 7th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
I’ll list the same argument last week about the Titans, they are now 7-1 ATS and they have to continue to revert to the mean. I would probably skip the game because the Sex Cannon looked rusty but at the end of the season I expect the Titans ATS to have 10-11 wins at the most. As for the Jaguars, they kicked their starting MLB out of practice most of the week, I have a feeling this team is in full melt down mode.
November 7th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
didn’t that girl play Martin Lawerence’s sister in Bad Boys II?
November 7th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
The fucking Titans are going to be soaked down to their asscracks once the Sex Cannon gets done with them! Then he’ll wipe his dick on their mascot and leave them a trembling mess on the field.
November 7th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
I am underwhelmed by the lack of hotness here. Sure she has nice armpits and that cool scar on her forearm, not to mention a belly button piercing scar, but other than that she looks like Trudy.
November 7th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
@cubs, i’m pretty sure they’ve said that Mike Peterson won’t be suiting up on Sunday, yeah, when you bench your #1 tackler you’re in for trouble
November 7th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Friday is Casual Sex Day
It’s also Hawaiian Shirt Day, so you can wear a Hawaiian Shirt to work if you feel like it.
November 7th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Good news Maj, the Skins are getting DeAngelo Hall!!
http://www.profootballtalk.com/2008/11/07/hall-to-the-redskins/
November 7th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
@daydream yeah it sounds like its complete anarchy on the team with Del Rio pissed that guys were laughing after the loss to the Bengals
November 7th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I wouldn’t pick the Jags to cover the spread in a game of flip cup right now, let alone in actual football. I don’t care if it’s against the goddamn Lions.
The Panthers, meanwhile, are going to be on that spread like cheese on nachos. Lord help me I love Steve Smith.
November 7th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Sir-
With all due respect, if you are betting on a team with an absurd streak against the spread, then you might be the worthless piece of retarded yak shit. No offense.
You think the books don’t notice when a team is undefeated against the spread and adjust accordingly?
November 7th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Jacksonville -7 at Detroit
Take the home dog, take the home dog! Yes, I realize I was viciously wrong last time I went against Maj’s Jax pick, but fuck it I’m going deep
November 7th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
“You think the books don’t notice when a team is undefeated against the spread and adjust accordingly?”
The books don’t give a rat’s ass if a team is undefeated against the spread as long as they even out the action on both sides. They don’t take a position on the game. They make money on the 10%-15% your dumb ass (and my dumb ass) pays them to bet.
November 7th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
It always feels good to know that widdle Danny Snyder will always out-dumb the Double J. Maybe it’s the Napoleon complex. Maybe it’s the shirts that look like they were tailor made for a person who’s 6′5″. Or maybe, just maybe he can’t tell the difference between a piece of sweet tang and an apple pie.
Or maybe he was just getting a jump on the Saaurdee news cycle and decided that sexy Fridee was the best time to make his move. Nice.
November 7th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Ahh, flip-cup. Good times. Just one of the events in our Beerfest Championship that we crushed the spread.
November 7th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
@AW look at the history of teams over the last few years ATS, most teams end up 8-8 and I believe the most extreme is an 11 win team and that was the Patriots of last year. What happens is people start riding the hot team and Vegas has to adjust the spread accordingly to make their money.
November 7th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
“The books don’t give a rat’s ass if a team is undefeated against the spread as long as they even out the action on both sides. They don’t take a position on the game. They make money on the 10%-15% your dumb ass (and my dumb ass) pays them to bet.”
This is absolutely true (except for the 10-15% part: it’s about 5.5% on standard juice and less if you shop around online). However, they know that streaks like the Titans’ (and the Patriots’ last year) get an undue amount of attention/action from the “squares,” and they set the lines accordingly.
/dick joke
November 7th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
The word this AM was that Mike P may still suit up for the Jags. He was supposed to meet with Del Rio this AM and if all went well he would suit up. No word as of now…..
November 7th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
What’s the spread between the Cowboys and the Dallas PD for their off week.
November 7th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
@ Needs More Cheerleaders:
Sweet Purple Jesus in heaven I hope you’re right. It’s either going to be a fantastic Sunday to be a Bears fan, or an absolutely terrible one. Either way, I’ll be hammered.
And damn that Giants +3 looks tempting. I’m abstaining for this week, though, as my current wagering record makes the Nazi shark look like a slightly more/less racist Jimmy the Greek.
November 7th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Oh and thanks for the sista despite her forearm blemish. She could wrap those fit cheerleading legs around me anytime.
November 7th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Gabrielle Union wants you to know it’s already been brought.
November 7th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
wow, giants underdogs against a team they punked all last year.
Why is everyone riding the Eagles jock this year? they’re 5-3 and don’t look much better than they did last year. Mcnabb is still one of the most over-rated quarterbacks in the NFL. A good QB could get it done without Westbrook.