Going back to Cali, strictly for the weather
Women, and the weed — sticky green
No seeds bitch please, Poppa ain’t soft

Another weekend of NFL action, and another weekend that I’ll miss it all because I’m in California. If it weren’t for all of this sunshine and designer weed I might be pretty fucking aggravated. Oh well, continue after the jump for a quick rundown of this weekend’s bets.

I was undefeated last week, so this time around I’m just going to let it all hang out. Fifty bucks on each of the following seven games. I’d provide you with some more witty analysis, but I played golf at Bighorn instead.

Atlanta Falcons -6½
Denver is fucking garbage. Shanny is a fraud no matter what Fatsis is peddling.

Miami Dolphins -10
Betting against Oakland is just reassuring at this point.

Indianapolis Colts -8
The Colts are reverting to their old form, as are the Texans.

Minnesota Vikings +4
I may not understand you gentiles, but I approve of your Purple Jesus wholeheartedly. I am in fact, a Jew for Purple Jesus.

St. Louis Rams +7
Uhhh…Steven Jackson isn’t going to bitch out again is he?

Philadelphia Eagles -9
When Philly wins they tend to win pretty big. When they lose it’s usually because Andy Reid is thinking about food. Or wondering where his children are.

Carolina Panthers -14
DAUNTE!

Note: The following commenters can eat a big fresh cocktaco.

FMRA

FozzieBear

P.S. Fuck Dallas and fuck Tony Romo’s taint tickling pinkie.