PLAX SHOT Reports are flying that Giants WR Plaxico Burress suffered a self-inflicted gunshot wound last night. Word is Plax spent the night in the hospital after accidentally shooting himself at a club. Damn, here I was thinking my weekend sucked because of all this leftover turkey, at least I didn’t shoot myself.
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November 29th, 2008 at 11:55 am
…seriously?
November 29th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Plax: Damn man, what do I tell coach?
Ocho: Just tell me the truff. Tell him that you were shooting the cockroach that was running up your leg trying to steal your thoughts.
Plax: I’m not sure that’s going to fly with my coach.
Ocho: Don’t worry about it. Just call Ray and ask him. He already shot one guy with that story, and a jury agreed with him.
November 29th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
New T-shirt: Where Was Ray Lewis When Plaxico Burress Got Shot By Himself?
November 29th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
He was probably pistol whipping his wife and accidentally shot himself.
November 29th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
giants r gonna eat his contract watch
November 29th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Plaxman, he down wid’ it.
November 29th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
He was just playin COD4 in his head. PEW PEW PEW
November 29th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Holy shit you have got to be kidding me.
November 29th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I bet you it was like that scene from 8 mile. Only Eli wasn’t taking in slang.
November 29th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Yes, my very first thought was that he’s on my opponent’s fantasy team this week.
November 29th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Wait, why would your weekend suck because of leftover turkey? Leftover turkey is the shit
November 29th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
This calls for a Anthony from Ocean City, or whatever hes being called, post.
November 29th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
These fuckin’ mulignans ain’t even bright enough to use a goddamned pistol, am I right? Fuckin’ Plax’s gotta be even dumber than that no good cunt that I banged in the back of my IROC last night. And that’s dumb am I right?
November 29th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Another ill-fated Plexican standoff.
November 29th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Can’t a man go into a crowded night club full of hookers, pimps, gangsters, thugs and NFL players and shoot himself with his own gun and not be made fun of?
November 29th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Cheddar plax?
November 29th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
+100 to mike.
November 29th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Yes, my very first thought was that he’s on my opponent’s fantasy team this week.
Well, he was already ruled out for the Redskins-Giants game before this happened, but maybe shooting yourself is worth negative points.
November 29th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
He just wanted to honor Sean Taylor’s memory on the anniversary
November 29th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Was it in the foot? If so we respect his taking the metaphor to the next level.
November 29th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Do we know what club this happened at? More curious than anything else…..
November 29th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
The first rule of the club this happened at is that you don’t talk about the club this happened at.
November 29th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
@Big Dumb Ben: Latin Quarters on Lexington Avenue.
November 29th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Oh lawdy lawdy…..
November 29th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
@Kimbo. Fair enough. I should have known better. Although I’m Trying to earmark places to avoid in NYC. Guns are only fun in the car
November 29th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Hey, you guys. This isn’t right. You really shouldn’r be mocking Plaxico like this. After all, the man is retarded. Seriously. He’s a bona fide retard. So it’s like not really his fault. When you think about it, it really was just a matter of time. Retards + guns = self-inflicted gunshot wounds.
I’m not one for gun-control, but if we don’t want retards shooting themselves maybe we shouldn’t give them guns.
I like Plaxico. How many retards do you know that can catch Super-Bowl-winning touchdowns?
November 29th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
@ Drew Bledsoe: Well, I’m sure T.O. would have caught a Super Bowl-winning TD, if his retard QB didn’t puke all over himself.
November 29th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
“Tisk, tisk, tisk”
- Jayson Williams
November 29th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Does anybody know what the gun laws are like in New York? I don’t think for a minute that a retard like Plax would follow any of them (he seems to have an open distain for the rules of gun safety) but I’m curious, as I live in a gun-totin’, militia-lovin’ western state where gun ownership is practically mandatory and concealed-weapons permits are relatively easy to get.
November 29th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
@Gino
One of the more restrictive states. Pretty sure a retard can’t legally carry one.
November 29th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Why does Drew Rosenhaus always pick the good ones?
November 29th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Since Plax is so averse to practice and meetings, maybe he skipped the part of gun safety class where they teach you muzzle control.
November 29th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
@ Kimbo
Thanks. That’s what I figured. I’ve also heard that New Jersey has pretty restrictive gun laws to protect their retards.
I wonder what kind of gun he shot himself with- probably something with hip-hop appeal like a Glock or maybe a custom-made Belgian .50 caliber like Marvin Harrison.
November 29th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Where was Sheldon Brown?
November 29th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
what an idiot.. i wish he’d shot himself in the face or blown his nuts off.. a flesh wound is so unsatisfying.
November 29th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
To repeat: Plaxico has been shot.
November 29th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
Plax could be facing at least 3.5 years in prison, federal fuck you in the ass prison, if he was carrying the gun illegally. God, that would be HILARIOUS!!!
November 30th, 2008 at 12:19 am
Can anyone photoshop plax as the new face of the NRA?
November 30th, 2008 at 1:34 am
One EMT was quoted as “dude, you’ll never be Marvin Harrison.”
On a completely unrelated note how awesome would it be to see New England pull their shit together just so Simmons emerge from whatever glory hole he’s been using to fund his oh so subversive The Sportd Die [espn] Die! where he uses the handle Will Smiech. I’m sure he’d deliver some well blogworn bon mots along the lines of “Matt Casselgreyskull” as his own and consider all-forgiven to resume a regularly scheduled onslaught of beantown douchenozzle slobbery and general cockbagginess.
November 30th, 2008 at 2:18 am
after he shot himself he was 20 minutes late to the hospital
November 30th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Is it too soon for the ‘bwahahahahahaha’ tag?
November 30th, 2008 at 11:22 am
hey hey hey, leave plax alone, eli’s bad aim is contageous
November 30th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
The idiot probably had the gun tucked in his pants, round in the chamber, safety off, and tried to pull it out to show someone. Perfect combo of alcohol, firearms, and retards
November 30th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Maybe he should have shot himself in the kneecap.
November 30th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Damn the kids are getting quick! Check it out…. http://www.shortershelflife.com
November 30th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
How long before he blames his kids for this one?