4pm Open Thread: Nick Buoniconti’s Douchebag Old Guy Champagne Party Is On !!!
What we’ve learned so far today:
Jeff Fisher should have spent more time working on his defensive game-plan and less time playing paratrooper.
Donovan McNabb got benched after two picks and a fumble, providing time for him to brush up on the finer points of the rulebook.
Chilly Chill cockblocks Adrian Peterson fantasy owners with Chester Taylor near the goal line.
Joey Porter is your huckleberry and the Patriots are a bunch of cheaters….
[ as always, Xmas Ape comes through with the screen grabs & video ]
Tags: geronimooooooo, open threads
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:08 pm
There will be lots of champagne popping in Miami as last year’s perfect regular season is preserved. Oh, wait. yeah. nevermind.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Dierdorf is doing the Pats-Steelers game next week?
NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Joey just got flagged for not fixing his mouf.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Ape, that might be only thing Pats and Steelers fans will agree on all week.
Joey Porter’s mouf still running. shocking.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:21 pm
I do believe that that last TD might’ve fixed Joey’s mouf for today.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:23 pm
I haven’t been happy with how Romeo has coached the Browns, but I will say that he made a smart move subbing in Derek Anderson for Brady Quinn. If anything, he kept the Dawg Pound off Brady’s ass by letting Anderson turn in a performance even more pitiful than Quinn’s, despite the use of all his fingers.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Hey, Fox? Baltimore’s up 29 points with 2 minutes to go. Let’s go to the start of Giants/Cards, huh?
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:29 pm
@Devine: Fox did the same with Dallas/SF before going to Atlanta. not to worry, as the Falcons only went on a scoring drive to open the game.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:31 pm
@Slothrop: Wondrous. I’m now stuck watching local car commercials after leaving Philly/Baltimore which is totally cool since I’ve already missed half of the first quarter. Oh, and the Cardinals scored! Fantastic.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Great- looks like Bad Eli is showing up today.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Siragusa tells us that Ralph Brown did a nice job on that Giants blitz up the middle. Except Ralph Brown is on the Cardinals, and #20 in white is Michael Johnson. And that Siragusa shouldn’t be talking, at all.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:45 pm
The Giants should hire 289 to do their design work … the T-shirt Jacobs is wearing fucking sucks
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Amazing that Siragusa is at a game today, what with it being holy week and all for fatties. You’d think he’d be at home priming his pump for Thursday by drinking peanut oil.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Sirgusa will spend Tuesday stuffing himself with high-fiber bread to stretch his stomach, will spend Wednesday on a liquid diet plus Metamucil. Thursday morning at 10 am he’ll clear out the pipes and prepare for SuperFeast. That Sarah Palin turkey interview got him especially hyped and hungry for this year.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:53 pm
@porky1: Thanks for the image of Siragusa taking a Herculean shit on Thursday morning. If I may: Imagine him also drinking some Ipecac shortly before ascending the throne, just to make sure that absolutely nothing’s left in there.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:54 pm
I’m sorry, did I just see a McD’s commercial that highlighted something called “Nuggnutts?”
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Wow. Cleatus with an electric guitar is so awkward that it makes Lil Wayne with an electric guitar look natural.
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Are we still doing Jehrehmeh jokes, or no?
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:15 pm
figures Hightower gets a TD as soon as I bench him
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Jamarcus Russell is 6/6, leading to this
http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w205/bradcymru/aldavis.jpg
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:24 pm
@Seisto: I’d have thought it lead to this:
http://deadspin.com/338115/the-nfl-in-short-easy-bursts
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Dude, Domenik Hixon is all the Giants have going right now. They’ll wind up trying a 50-yarder.
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Sometimes I hate Youtube, and the internet in general.
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2008/11/latest-cut-from-some-group-youve-never.html
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:37 pm
@DavidtheUnderpantsGnome: I made through 1:15 — they should have hired the Blizzard Man.
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:37 pm
I wonder if they’ll fire Mike Shanahan before I die.
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Giants FINALLY starting to get a rush again. Welcome back, fellas. It’s been too long.
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Rackers attempting the Janikowski Special
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:49 pm
I’ll take anticlimax for 1000, Alex.
I want those 10 minutes of my life back, Wisenhunt, you fucker.
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:50 pm
I don’t even think you can call that a fail. Making fun of Rackers for not hitting that kick would be like blaming a 94-year-old woman for being a bad lay. Neither should ever have been in that position in the first place.
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:50 pm
@robocats: For $1,000, you should get to climax. Just saying.
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I’m starting Rackers in fantasy (thanks for the missed XP, asshole). How many additional points would I have gotten for 68 yards?
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Do we have a Liveblog: Marmalard Edition coming tonight?
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Wow 32min 11sec before our first Warner Fumble
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Kinda surprised that his go-go Gadget gloves didn’t hang onto the ball.
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:10 pm
huh, the Panthers actually pulled off the draw play on third and long. Mike Holmgren doesn’t understand why that doesn’t work for him every third and long.
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:11 pm
I can’t believe Hedgecock held on — I screamed “DON’T THROW IT TO STONE HANDS” like Robert Loggia in “Necessary Roughness.”
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Randy Cross is slowly evolving into Captain Kangaroo.
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:21 pm
So, 4 of the 5 pages of tomorrow’s MMQB will be about how the Jets are the best team in football, right?
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Siragusa is ready for war down there
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:22 pm
OK, so I’m having a solid day in FFB today with 70+ points and Rodgers and Jennings going tomorrow. Why do I run into the buzzsaw today going against a team that currently has 129+ points with one plus quarter of football remaining? God I hate my life right now.
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:23 pm
does that make Dick Enberg Mr. Green Jeans or Mr. Moose?
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Fox Sports cameraman Darren (who got tackled) > ESPN sideline princess Erin Andrews.
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:29 pm
No live blog tonight. Another open thread for the SNF game is coming though. It’s just like a live blog, only with fewer polls and Grimey LOLJocks photos.
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:29 pm
What a bullshit late hit call.
Correction: A valid PI call.
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Thanks, Ape. Wanted to jump in on that, but wasn’t sure if I was seeing that through homerism-colored lenses.
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Thanks guys, I fell asleep during the catastrophe of a third quarter in Philly game. I believe there were 62 yards gained when I went down. Reading the open threads caught me up!
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:40 pm
“I like the way Morelli goes and referees these games”
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:40 pm
His name is Pete Morelli, Goose, and he’s as bad at his job as you are at yours.
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Broncos “defense” making the Raiders offense look like…well, offense.
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:45 pm
You know what? I really don’t think Ross’ penalties have been all that horrible today — they’ve pretty much all been at the service of preventing clean releases that could lead to explosive plays by these receivers. Yeah, I’d prefer he was good enough to go stride for stride and just blanket Fitzgerald or Boldin, but there aren’t a whole lotta DBs that can do that.
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Matt Ryan doesn’t get the join this week’s white QB TD rushing club
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:53 pm
The same way I don’t understand how Derrick Mason doesn’t get doubled on every Ravens passing down, I don’t know how the same doesn’t apply to Steve Smith when the Giants have a 3rd down
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:59 pm
I will say that we’re going to try to live blog every playoff game this year.*
*May be making too much work for himself
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:01 pm
@Ape: When you say “we,” does that include the KSKwitters from last Monday?
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Nice toss, Churchy.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:02 pm
Well, I think we have our KTFO of the day.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:03 pm
WOW. Did Kevin Boss fuck Elisha’s wife or something? That throw couldn’t have set him up any better.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Dude, didn’t Domenik Hixon used to suck? When did he become a savvy and talented football player?
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Redskins fumble, damn you gambling gods
NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Please Lord Jebus of the Cosmos, let us have a 7-9 division winner.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Wait I thought if the spread wasn’t covered we just got to go back out there and play until a winner was decided…no one told me otherwise.
Did I know I lost the bet?
No, no I never read that part of the rules.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:09 pm
My editor is a Raiders fan — tomorrow’s going to be the best production day evar
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:15 pm
bad news if you’re going against Michael Turner. 100+ yards, 4 touchdowns.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Former butterfingers Madison Hedgecock is on point today.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Siragusa couldn’t wait to start talking food. “My wife has already started cooking for Thanksgiving.”
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:32 pm
So far this week:
Jeers to Trent Edwards, for bending the anthropomorphic personification of the Chiefs over the nearest railing and raping it hard (all while being benched).
Cheers to Ed Reed.
More cheers to Ed Reed, this time as part of the defensive unit.
Jeers to my receiving corps, as the four of them have combined for four points. At least Plax has the excuse of being hurt – where the fuck is Tony Scheffler’s excuse?
Cheers to Sheli. My opponent has to have Ryan Grant score 23 points alone to win and hope that neither Kaeding nor Addai do anything
Sadly, the team itself will only be 6-6 with a win, so it is completely pointless to care about anything at this point.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:34 pm
@Jay: I was all ready to boo you for jeering Eli, but then I learned to read. My mistake was understandable, though; it’s so rare that anyone cheers him.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Wait a second — just thought this one through (forgive me for being slow on the uptake). Did Fox really just put Johnston and Siragusa together so the PBP guy can say, “For Moose and Goose…”?
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Just wait until Duce Staley joins them next season. In a sweatshirt, of course.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Why is it that Lee Evans has his only halfway decent game each year (since the year he was on my team that is) against me, playing for the guy who hasn’t changed his lineup since the draft.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:44 pm
@Ape: And when they integrate the comedy stylings of crowd-pleasing African American comic Bruce Bruce.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:44 pm
“I’ma fix yo mouf in the praya circle!”
There’s still time to recoup, everybody! Take the Bolts to cover!
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:45 pm
@Devine & Ape:
Hopefully at halftime of the Super Bowl featuring Bruce Springsteen.
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Ahah ahhhahhahha ahhahaha
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:54 pm
@Devine: “Broadcasting live from the Spruce Goose…”
Sorry. I thought we were riffing.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:04 pm
@most_impressive: No apologies necessary, dude. Let’s call a truce.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:08 pm
@Jewish Genes: It could really happen. Denver has to play the Jets, Bills, Panthers, Chiefs, and Marmalard. There’s definitely four potential losses in there. Wouldn’t it be amazing if that happens and Belichick misses the playoffs?
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:48 pm
The king of the gods is Zeus? I don’t have time for Greek mythology.
December 22nd, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Hi,
I’m new to the forum and just saying hello.